The New Normal

In less than two hours, we will usher in a New Year full of hope and promise. A New Year means new beginnings, new promises, new adventures. As I type this post, I feel a bit melancholy. The holidays were bittersweet for several reasons. The main one for me is that my favorite sister-in-law lost her husband on Christmas morning. As I think about New Year's and what it brings, her face keeps coming to mind. Everything about the New Year will be different for her and it will also be difficult.

It is a reminder that New doesn't always mean better nor easy. For some folks, the New Year is going to bring about painful change, for others,it may bring difficult seasons of career, marriage, or parenting. You can substitute any number of things. No matter what 2013 has in store for you and yours, it is my hope that you have the resources in your life to help you through those difficult, I wanna give up moments as well as the let's celebrate this victory moments. Life is precious and you can't make it alone. You need the love and support of family and friends. You need the intercessory prayers of the believers in your life. You need to be able to find peace in the midst of the worst circumstances. You also need to find joy in those moments as well. You need to be able to forgive those who wrong you intentionally and unintentionally. Let go of the past and embrace the future.

God built you for everything you face. Don't forget to consult Him. Don't forget to pray. Don't forget to ask for prayers and for help if you need it. You are infinitely stronger than you think. Take care of you so you can be whole and able to help someone else. While your decisions may look crazy to the outside world, you have to do what's best for you. You may need to lose some friends, or cut out some activities, and be alone more often. Don't forget that God speaks in the quiet moments, so don't be afraid to sit still and discern His voice. Finally, be mindful of those around you. Many are hurting and in pain. Hurting people hurt others. Be kind and considerate. Check in on folks, I mean really check in. So often we ask how a person is doing but don't give them the space to be honest. Often, we need to simply dig a little deeper. Time is the cheapest and most wasted resource we have in our possession. 

So as we say so long to 2012 (I must admit, I for one, am very happy to see it go), I wish every one of you a Happy Healthy 2013. I hope you get your heart's desires. I hope you are blessed beyond measure. I hope that not only are you blessed but also that you bless someone else along the way. There will be good days and bad, but I hope you stay the course and remain strong. Your eventual testimony will bless and encourage some else. If you are out tonight, please don't drink and drive. We all want to be safe. Be prayerful. Happy New Year to You and Yours! May it be prosperous and fulfilling!

In Diva Love and Anticipation,

Pam

Disappointed but Not in Despair

As the year comes to a close, I like most people begin to look back over the past year and think about how the next one will be different. No resolutions but changes nonetheless. As I review 2012, the over riding feeling that pops up for me is disappointment. Let me just say that although disappointment had a front row seat in my life, I am still blessed, even on my worse day. God has kept me sane when I really wanted to go crazy and given me peace in difficult storms. I am healthy, clothed, and fed. I have a wonderful family and friends who can ride out some of those storms. I can pray and I can read my Bible publicly. I am of sound mind and sound body. I am alive.

The blessing list could go on but in the simplicity of the things I chose to list, I know there are a great deal of people who can't say all of those things today. This blog is not a compliant, it is a reminder that while every season can't be rosy, God still sits on the throne and orders our steps. In other words, there is still hope.

Initially, I was going to discuss the things that added to my disappointment but as I type this, I feel like God wants me to go in a different directions. I need you each to know that while times may be difficult, you are not to give up nor are you to give in. We were never promised a trouble free life, yet we are to find joy in ALL circumstances. James 1:2 (NIV): "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." We can't put our hopes or dreams in man because they are frail and weak and sinful. They will fail us. They won't respond to us the way we want. They won't make us happy, in some cases, they will even hurt you deeply. Psalm 20:7(NIV) says, "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." We can depend on God to get us through the most disappointing moments in our lives.

In my life, I have learned that disappointments really do make us stronger. They key is not to let those things that hurt us break our spirits. I think the key to that is to to forgive and move on. Failing to do so. makes you bitter, angry, and resentful. Who wants to spend their life being any of those things? I used to always say, "If you have no expectations, there will be no disappointments." That was when I was young and idealistic. As I  have grown and matured, I realize that you can't help but have certain standards and expectations for those people in your life whom you value-spouses, parents, children, close friends and family. Unfortunately, everyone has not been raised to value the same things, some haven't been raised to value people, or even themselves. Hurting people hurt people whether it is deserved or not.

As I anticipate what my future holds in 2013, I look to the New Year with hope. I hope that things will be different, in a good way. I hope my children will make wise decisions. I hope that my spouse will love me unconditionally and communicate better. I hope that my friends will support me. I hope that there are no tragedies that bring a nation to its knees. I hope our President will be respected as the Leader of this Nation. I hope my blog gets new followers. I hope I remain happy, healthy, and at peace. I hope my relationship and dependence on God grows infinitely. I hope I have encouraged you to hope when you really have no hope. This list can also go on but at year end, please take a moment to be thankful for what you do have, focus on the positives. Even in disappointment, there is hope.

I wish each of you reading this blog, the hope of a bright and prosperous New Year filled with God's best and bounteous blessings. Hope really does spring eternal! May you find peace and victory and especially hope in every storm of life that you encounter in the coming days and year. Be blessed but more importantly, be a blessing!!!

In Diva Hope,

Pam

Crazy Appearing Ordinary

After reading my post about what looks ordinary on a crazy day, I thought I should give you a few examples so you could totally get where I was coming from.
   
      1. Your church wanting people to go on a Missionary trip to another continent but not being able to handle any aspects of the local pre-planning in an organized fashion.
       2. A woman who is always on, even though her life is falling apart.
       3. A person who listens to Zen meditation tapes but is always defensive.
       4. A person who shoots eight rounds into a car full of teens because they wouldn't turn their music down at his request in a public parking lot.
       5. Coming to the US and refusing to learn English.
       6. Going on TV weekly with people who really aren't your friends and pretending to be friends while making complete fools of yourselves for the whole world to see.
       7. Buying a huge house but having no furniture in it because you can't afford to buy any.
       8. Keeping up with the Joneses or Smiths to try to validate your own self worth.
       9. Believing that the world is coming to an end because of the Mayan Calendar. Where are the Mayans?
      10. Having a FT job but no bank account to deposit your check in.
      11. Posting positive and happy thoughts on FB, but you are hurting and angry about everything.
      12. Holding grudges for years and years when the other person is unaware or has moved on.
      13. Failure to communicate your wants, needs, and desires but being angry because your needs aren't being met.
      14. Refusing to move forward in therapy of any kind because the work is too hard or too painful.
      15. Failing to believe that anyone but God could have created the body in all its uniqueness, as well as every other aspect of this awesome world. Big Bang, really? Self-will, huh?

Oh my list could on and on but I know my readers are savvy and you understand. Examples can be pulled from any day to day life experience-marriage, career, and life in general. I have said it often, you can't trust everyone with your stuff but you do need some one in your life with whom you can be real. If your crazy has to look ordinary every single day and you can never drop your basket, then you need a new audience to view your life. Life is short and precious. We don't know the day nor the hour when it can end but it is important to be a whole as possible while we are on the journey.

Every now and then crazy has to look ordinary for us but it shouldn't become our norm. Some situations are easy to correct, others may take a little more time. As we approach the New Year, let's be mindful that our painful realities and testimonies can always help someone. NO we don't have to look like our testimonies at all times but it is important to show your strengths and give glimpses of your weaknesses too. Our existence on Earth is relational. Everyone has a role to play for things to function. Don't be the squeaky wheel that keeps the motion stagnant. Be safe and blessed the holiday weekend!

In Crazy/Ordinary Diva Love,

Pam

We Need to Talk About......

Last week, I wrote a blog entitled, Reality Isn't Always Pretty. A review of this year confirms that crazy can look ordinary on any given day. This has been a heart-wrenching week for many in Oregon and Connecticut. There are no words that can comfort a grieving parent or child at a time like this. My heart aches for every family who has been devastated by loss. I hugged my children extra tight and extra times this week. I have paused often to wonder if I can protect the children under my supervision on a daily basis and whether or not my own children will be protected in the midst of a crisis. Thankfully, I know God is in control and He doesn't want me to live in fear. His plan was set and He knows every outcome. My job is to trust and believe. So is yours. 

We need to step up our prayer lives. We should be praying for our children constantly. We should be praying for everything. God's Word says, "Pray without ceasing." (1 Thess. 5:17) Prayer changes things and prayer changes hearts. This week alone has begun a dialogue that I hope will continue and eventually yield results. There are calls for better gun control in the US and a review of the Constitutional Amendment that allows us to bear arms. As I listened to countless news reports, the one fact that stuck in my mind was that there are 300 million gun in the US. The only country that supersedes us is Yemen. That made me cringe. We have a lot of rights in the US but for some reason, misuse of weapons bothers me most. Most likely because there are so many innocent victims. We really do need to look at changing that because weapons in the wrong hands does irreparable harm to not just the victims but in many cases, the whole community.

Frank discussions about mental health is also necessary. People of all ages are suffering and in a lot of cases have nowhere to go to resolve those issues. Hurting people hurt people. There is no consistent picture of a mental health patient and there are countless folks out here appearing normal and functioning normal. Unfortunately, we never know what might set them off. It sickens me to know there are Veteran's out here suffering and the resources are not in place to get them integrated back into society. As a former Government employee, I know how frustrating dealing with bureaucracy can be. If you couple that with a fragile individual on their worst day, you are developing a recipe for disaster. You would think that as a country, we would be savvy enough to at least get serious about taking care of sick people. 

Christmas will not ever be the same for the families in CT. Their grieving process hasn't even begun. Not only do they have children and adults to lay to rest but they have children and adults who survived but will be traumatized by the tragic events that took place. I certainly hope that the pat solution isn't going to be providing grief counselors for a week. It takes more than a week to process sometimes. Let's pray that as we watch communities such as Newtown begin to deal with all that has happened this week, that the dialogue continues not only for better gun control but also mental health issues.

My prayer is that we as a country take both things seriously. My prayer is also that we not forget the victims. The media always tends to turn the focus on the perpetrator and give them far too much attention. May God bless each of you reading this and remember, if you aren't part of the solution, you might be part of the problem.

In Diva Sadness,

Pam

Wordless Wednesday-Forgiveness

Forgiveness is serious business when you are a Child of God. Not only has God called us to relationship but He has also commanded us to forgive others. Not just once but over and over again. Luke is full of references of this. See Luke 6:37, 17:3, II Corinthians 2:7 and the list could go on. Holding on leads to bitterness and resentment and the only person in bondage is you. Jesus paid the price for ALL of our sins-past, present, and future. If you are a Christian, could you imagine what it would be like if He chose a different path? Yeah! That reality sucks! Merry Christmas!

In Christ's Love,

Pam

Gifts of the Heart

Merry Christmas!! This season is my favorite time of year. I love the togetherness of Thanksgiving and truly enjoy the time leading up to Christmas. I get joy and pleasure from buying just the perfect gift for my loved ones. My budget is small for Christmas, because we don't have it like that but it feels good to bless those you love with something you think they will like or know that they really want. Gifts are great and most of us like to receive them as much as we enjoy giving them (unless of course, you are a selfish self-centered individual). In that hustle and bustle, I am constantly challenging myself about whether I have bought in to the commercialism of the season or am I truly celebrating the birth of My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

 I want my children to know God's presence is a present. I try to teach them that it is the thought behind the gift that counts, not the amount. Some gifts are priceless. If you haven't learned that, then you probably need to go out and utilize the gift of your time and a word of encouragement. People are hurting and sometimes, your smile or comforting touch is a blessing. Unfortunately some of us only focus on donating our time and talent during the Christmas season. People need those things every day. We need to be the hands and feet of Christ every single day of the year.

So as you continue to go about the next few days spending money(and hopefully not creating bills), don't forget those less fortunate than you. Donating food and clothes is great but a personal touch fulfills something deep inside your heart. Jesus was the perfect gift for our sinless world. He sacrificed EVERYTHING and we didn't deserve it. Don't get caught up trying to give the most lavish gifts. The bests gifts in life are free-love, peace, and joy! Without Christ, there would be no Christmas!!

In Christmas Love,

Pam

Reality isn't Always Pretty

Merry Christmas! I really should have titled this post, "What Looks Like Ordinary on a Crazy Day."  That title was a little long for a blog post. It is a riff off of one of my favorite Pearl Cleage novels. I could write a book under this title but I think I am going to keep this post short and sweet but give each of you something to think about. I was prompted to blog this by the foolishness that I have dealt with this week and something a very dear friend said to me after dinner last night.

Everyone can't handle your dysfunction. Take that nugget to the bank and cash it. That being said, let me encourage you to have some one with whom you can dialogue the crazy/ridiculous/foolish in your life so you aren't left thinking you are crazy. I am so thankful to have pared my friends down to folks I can bare most of my soul to and know that they aren't going to let me go off a cliff.  Life takes turns and twists that you can't even imagine. Sometimes, you hit that proverbial wall and don't know how you are going to break through it. Venting to others can help you deal with it. Pretending that things are okay when they aren't, is being phony. It also keeps people from praying for you and encouraging you through the dark moments. If you are stuck in a dark time and don't reach out, you may find that it wasn't you who needed to be heard at that moment but the other person. They needed you as much as you needed them. That is the balance of friendship.

When there is no one to go to, Jesus is always there. Emmanuel, God with us, is always present. You can cry out to Him at any time, in any place. You don't have to fake it with Him because He already knows. He can handle it all, just remember to cry out to Him.  I am guilty of making things look great even when the world is crashing down all around me. The more I think about it, the more I realize that part of the testimony is not looking like the mess that you are in, but being forthright enough to be real about it. Women perpetrate daily and that is okay to some degree, but pretending every thing is honky-dory when it isn't doesn't allow others to see God to do His best work in you and through you.  It also fails to acknowledge the fact that we were built for relationship, thus we need the prayers and encouragement (and yes, sometimes even correction) of others.

As we go about the Christmas season, ask God to show you just one person you can bless with your words or an act of kindness each day. You may turn their fraudulently ordinary day in to a real ordinary day; but even if you can't solve their crazy, you can give them hope that a brighter moment is coming, because it is. Be blessed and be a blessing--that is what this season really is all about!

In Christ's Love,

Pam

Wordless Wednesday

It is Wordless Wednesday so to keep it short, I am thankful. My life is rich and God blesses me daily. You can follow my Facebook posts if you want to see my daily list. It ranges from the serious, to the funny, to the mundane. My life is by no means perfect and apparently I am in a season where God is building my faith in Him and Him alone. As we approach Thanksgiving, I encourage you to count your blessing and name them one by one. You are beyond blessed if you hare alive and able to read this post. Don't take any of your blessings for granted. Ciao!

In Diva Gratitude,

Pam

Post Election Thoughts

I have been feeling some kinda way and it is the reason that I haven't blogged. I am going through something and it can;t be worked out through this my normal therapy. Know this, God is always there, even when you can't utter any words.  A week into November, and each day  am reminded how much I have to be thankful for. If you follow me on Facebook, you are privy to my thankful posts.

It has been two days since Barack Hussein Obama was re-elected to the highest office of this nation. Of course, there is jubilation for those who supported his candidacy and there is sadness and anger on the side of those who saw saw their candidate defeated. No matter which side you fall on, you should pray that the folks we elected can and will work hard for the majority of the American public. Your personal opinion may serve you well but not the public as a whole. I hope that the POTUS is able to move the country forward in a way that leaves our children feeling proud and believing in the political process.

Speaking of politics, there are so many teachable moments to be gleaned from this election cycle. As a parent, I appreciate being able to engage my children in the process and teach them how to be respectful of differing opinions. In politics, we are all winners and losers. No one side can best determine what is best for the entire country. We need people of all shades, denominations, and walks of life to move our country ahead. To be a successful politician, you need to meet the needs of a majority. Yes there are moments when I want the POTUS to cater to the specific needs of African Americans but would it be fair to Latinos? Probably not. Favoring one group always discriminates against another.

Hopefully the Republicans have finally learned that you have to be inclusive to be successful. America is still a melting pot and we are more colorful than vanilla. I believe that was the downfall of their success. As a race who has been discriminated against for generations, we can easily read between the lines and decipher racist rhetoric and undertones. I think the election reflected that there is a certain contingent of folks, who will not accept this behavior. There is another group of people who have bought into these messages disguised as Christian, moral, and right. Don't get it twisted. America doesn't need to be taken back. It hasn't gone anywhere. The other thing is this, what you believe for yourself personally, may not be the best answer for the rest of the people at large. Finally, and this will end my soapbox, is that you have to be able to accept defeat gracefully. It was quite arrogant of Romney not to have written a concession speech. because he knew he'd be victorious. Really? I believe in self confidence but cockiness and arrogance, not so much. To further prove my point, the amount of time he took to concede and make his speech, speaks volumes. For the clueless of you reading, I mean this, it is no longer a good ole boy society. Rich white men no longer control everything and that limited view that every one can be excluded simply won't work.

To go any further on that note would require America to get real about race. We still aren't a post-racial country despite having a man of color in the white house. That is a whole nother blog for another day. Most folks aren't ready for it because it takes real honesty and admission of wrong and I know many can't handle that reality. Anyhoo, I have missed my therapy sessions. So hopefully, I am back for good. Smooches!

In Diva Love,

PAM

A Bundle of Joy

Just wanted to share that yesterday I became an aunt, again! My sister gave birth to my newest niece, Jayla Taliyah, was born at 8:52 P.M. She weighs 5 pounds and 2 ounces. I haven't met her yet but I sure am excited. My sister has two boys who should make great big brothers. Every addition to the family is exciting but my joy for this baby comes because she will live close enough for me to spoil and see on a regular basis. My other niece, Bianca, is in Texas embarking on her graduate studies, her brother, Tre, is pursuing his Sophomore year, their baby sister, Zaria, is currently here visiting with me and my family. I rarely see them because of the distance. Zaria is 8 and I hadn't seen her in person since she was 18 months old. What a joy last night to hear her along with my sister's sons, Jeffrey and Jahlil hanging out in my basement playing video games, teasing each other, and wreaking havoc on the general cleanliness of my house. They had never met previously.

I grew up with all my immediate family living really close by. It never occurred to me that my family would be spread out all over the United States and that I wouldn't see them on a regular basis. That is my current reality and on many days, it really sucks. God has a way of bringing things full circle. The cousins are enjoying each other like they have played together all their lives and all is right in the world. I am thankful that God has blessed us with a healthy new addition to our family. I am sure Jayla will bring her own unique spark to our very colorful family. 

In Diva Love,

PAM

Post-Surgery Thoughts

It is the last morning of a beautiful week in Virgina Beach. It was a most relaxing vacation. More like a simple prelude to the real vacation which is less than two weeks away. We will then be off to the Dominican Republic. BTW-if any of you out there have some recommendations of places to go or things to do or food to eat, please feel free to advise me. Today is supposed to be a hot 99 degrees but feel like 110 with the humidity. Can I just say that I don't know how anyone would want to spend any time in Hell.

Well it has been eleven days since I had surgery. I think I have a pretty good tolerance for pain and I also think I am a good patient. As of today, I am not pain free but I am not taking pain killers. The first five days of my recovery, I spent sleeping and simply trying not to get dehydrated. Kinda hard when you don't want to swallow even the spit in your mouth. Honestly, sleeping was the best thing for me. On Friday, I forced myself outta bed to prepare for this week away. Given the limited amount of calories and nutrition I took in, packing wore me out but it got done.

We arrived in Va. Beach to a beautiful sunny day and a city brimming with activity. Our condo was simply fabulous and all we have to to do is cross the street and bam, the beach. The week here has been low key, which I needed. My liquid and soft diet has improved. It is a terrible thing when soup hurts to go down. While ice cream and Popsicles sound like a great diet, I am no longer ten and hey, I am not a small woman. I also love food, especially good food. Lawd, am I missing potato chips.  Anyhoo, I say this to say that by the time we get on that plane to the DR, I should be completely healed and ready to try the delicacies of the region.

Here is what I have learned in the past few days. When the doctor says, "you will need ten days to recover after this surgery," please believe him. They get paid the big buck for a reason.  I really didn't consider the seriousness of my so called minor surgery. My family was fine, I simply was in denial. I am more of a control freak than I think. Percocet makes me feel really loopy so I probably didn't medicate as well as I could have. Admit where you are are. Don't pretend to be fine. I did because I didn't want to make my impromptu family trip turn into being about me and my pain. I faked it as much as I could and then I often curled up on a couch, in the bed or sat on the balcony to get a way from everything. I skipped some activities and believe it or not, my family could handle my absence. I will give a shout out to my husband, he took pretty good care of me and he was a trooper. especially the first few day when all I could do was sleep. I love him to death! The plus of being here is that there is a Rita's Italian Ice place not too far from the condo, it has been my friend. I hate not having one near my house. Their ices are the best. That is one thing that doesn't hurt going down. Well, I am going to end here. Gotta enjoy this last hot as Hades day here on the ocean. Have a fantabulous weekend and be safe! 

In Diva wisdom, 

Pam

Diva Dialogue-June, 2012

Well, I felt like it had been a while since I posted. I actually forgot that I posted on my birthday. June has been a busy month. I am so thankful to report that my lovely wise grandmother celebrated her 98th birthday. We have good genes and yes most of my family could be poster children for a "Black don't crack" ad. I feel incredibly blessed.

Yesterday we celebrated the men who responsibly care for and nurture their children. Hope that each of you had a Happy Father's Day. If you have a child and you aren't investing for whatever reason, today is a day you can make a decision to change that. Your child needs you. Trust me, you don't want them to seek acceptance, approval, or affirmation from outside influences. Love doesn't have to be predicated on money. Your time and investment are what is important.

It is now official. I no longer have any children in elementary school. Yippee! I am kind of bittersweet but it is great to be moving on. My son is beyond ready. He has been well prepared. I have seen him grow and mature in many ways. It is weird to watch him grow up. He's opinionated, and very matter of fact. it is his developing sense of humor that trips me out the most. He is going to drive some poor woman crazy one day. LOL!

My summer is pretty much planned out. I am not used to that but hey, it is what it is. There are good things happening. My sister is going to have a baby girl! I love shopping for girls so much better than boys. I am apparently going to miss all the baby showers. My cousin, @AKAKristin, is turning 30. I am going to miss her fabulous flirty 30 celebration too. She has planned out a weekend of fun. I am happy for her. I am having a minor surgery today. Initially, that wasn't in my plans but I guess God needed to build in some rest for this sista. Say a prayer for me. I supposedly need ten days to recover. We are going to Virgina Beach and the Dominican Republic this year. I also plan to go to the place that built me for about ten days. Haven't been home since May of last year. That sucks, right? It does! I need some mommy love! I also need to lay eyes on my grandma. I know that at 98, it is a blessing to have her. If you have read my posts for a whole, you already know how important she is to me. Gotta soak up that love and wisdom too. Oh and did I mention, that several ladies along with myself are going to do a summer study on Malachi. That should be interesting. Who studies Malachi? I know, hardly anyone. I am sure God will speak and unite our hearts more toward Him as we seek to learn and grow through the study. I will let you know how it goes.

In addition to all of of this, I was asked to teach a group of Spanish exchange students for a month. I am a little nervous but anticipating having fun with the teens from another culture. I know little to no Spanish but the purpose is for them to have the skills to hold conversations with their host families and interact in public during their stay here in the USA. My lesson plans are complete and I hope they will find the content both rewarding and entertaining.

Today is the first real day of summer vacation. I cherish this time with my children. Parenting is not easy and as I continue living in a home with a 14 year old girl, I am constantly reminded to pray. I am also reminded to ask other people to pray. Her godmother told me that the part of the brain that makes rational decision isn't fully developed till 25. Well dammit, why are we entrusting these babies to choose colleges, Presidents, to vote and to drink or to decide to fight for their countries? They really aren't ready for this type of responsible decision-making, are they? Sorry, I digressed. If you have the time and ability to be home with your children during the summer, make the most of it and have fun. Have hard conversations. Challenge them to read  and write and express themselves. Encourage them to serve someone other than themselves. One of the most rewarding things we've done this year is work at a local Food Pantry. We plan to continue to help out there during the summer. Teach them more about God and living a life that is pleasing to Him. Most of all, value the time even if the children are reluctant or attitudinal(or hormonal). This too shall pass. 

I am gonna end here. I am going to really attempt to post more regularly during the summer. As usual, I have a lot on my mind. I am already sick of the election BS. That being said....Be safe! Be a blessing to someone else. Take a moment for yourself each day. Pray for yourself and others. Till next time, Ciao!

In Diva love,

PAM

It's My Birthday!!!!

Happy Happy Born Day to me! I am always happy in June. It is the best month of the year. There are some fabulous people with whom I share this birth month. Geminis are always interesting, unique people. Children graduate, Summer vacation begins, and people just seem excited about life. I always think I deserve a month long tribute, funny though, I am uncomfortable being the center of attention. 

God has been good to me and I can't help but to reflect upon it as I enter a new year of life. My journey is not always simple or easy but I know that I am extremely blessed. I have a great family and very awesome friends. I  know that faith is essential to me remaining sane on this life journey. I have experienced losses that hurt me deep to the core. I have family relationships that need repair. I continually remind myself that I choose my friends but my family is a whole other story. I know you all can relate. Sometimes you begin to think it ain't even worth the effort. 

I love the summer! My summer is already filling up and my idea of relaxation is quickly fleeting. Ahh, but I will be cherishing the memories that I create with my children and husband. Unfortunately my summer is going to begin with me having my tonsils taken out and a tube put in my ear. I thought I was going deaf. NOT! I am not looking forward to that but it is a necessary evil that I gotta deal with so all can be right in my part of the world.  Pray for me! I hate taking drugs, I have a high tolerance for pain. 

I am thankful for the things that I have learned along the way. I anticipate joy and pain in the year to come. There will be doors that open and others that will close.  Some friendships will blossom and others will fade. Through it all, I know God has already ordained this plan. I am hoping He will allow me to birth a dream that I have. I am also hoping He will bless me with a set of wheels. This sista might not be lucky  blessed enough not to really have to use it next winter. I have huge dreams for my children and I pray for their future spouses. I hope that my actions, words, and deeds are pleasing to Him. I am blessed and so are you. 

Not only do I celebrate my life and all its divaliciousness but I celebrate all my fabulous June babies! This month is yours. Attack it with fierce determination and a renewed spirit. Happy Birthday to each of you! A special shout out goes to Nanno, my grandmother who will celebrate 98 years on this earth on the 7th. God is good! She is one of two women that I wanna be like when I grow up(My mom is the other one). I love her to death and her impact on my life is indescribable. To my fellow Geminis and you Cancers who were fortunate enough to be born in June, Have a fantastic, fabulous Birthday celebration!!!

Enjoying Another of Life,

Pam

On Motherhood

As I am celebrated and celebrate the one day that is set aside for what I feel tends to be a thankless but rewarding job, I can't help but smile. Motherhood evokes so many raw emotions, everyday, all day. I have a great mom and I love her to death. She raised my brother and I alone. Fortunately, she had a lot of support from her parents and other immediate family members. We had good times and bad as I grew up. Thankfully today, I consider my mom a true friend. She loves me unconditionally. She encourages me. She respects me. We really enjoy each others company. All of those things go both ways. I am very blessed that I have a grandmother who is living. She will be 98 years old in a couple of weeks. Words can't even express the love I have in my heart for her. She has taught all of us so much and she still imparts her wisdom with a quiet dignity and strength that we don't see very often these days.

I have two awesome children. They have grown and stretched me in ways I never thought possible. I love them with all of my heart. I have dreamed a million dreams for them. Yet, I know the best any mom can do is equip her child with all the proper tools to get through this journey called life. Hopefully through the things I teach them and the experiences that I provide, they will turn out to be conscientious individuals who positively impact the society they live in. I hope and pray they will choose their spouses wisely and that they will raise other little people who will carry on a family legacy of love, respect, and all those other positive things that make a difference in life. Only God knows the future, our role is to pray that our will can line up with His. Whatever you think you know just might change once you have children. My favorite time of day is dinner. It is when my children talk the most. I have found that no matter how much I teach them what I want them to know, they are still individuals with their own ideas and opinions. They make me laugh and yes they also make me wanna holler. I am thankful for them. God has a sense of humor and that is why He gave us children. 

There are many women in my life who have not given birth but they nurture and care for children as aunts, grandmothers, and godparents. Some are teachers and others are just caregivers by nature. As a mom, I'm very thankful for them too. Sometimes your children need those people when they can't get through to you. Every child needs an advocate and confidante. Sometimes I need them for a reality check or a very different but thoughtful opinion. So whether you have children or not, if you are a woman and impact any child, Happy Mother's Day to you! You are fabulous! You are blessed!

I would be remiss if I didn't point out that on this very special Mother's Day, I am celebrating in a very bittersweet way. Seven years ago, my dad was called to his heavenly home after a short bout with prostate cancer. Time goes quickly but there is a void in my heart and in our family. I suspect that my sister's baby who is due in August is going to remind us most of him. I know he would be proud of all of us and he would champion each of us in our endeavors. So...R.I.P. Gerald William Cole, Sr. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you and don't wish you were a part of whatever is going on in our lives. I know you are in Heaven and I know you are smiling down on each of your children. So in your words, "Life to the fullest, no regrets!"

In Divalicious celebration,

Pam

Wisdom, Dispensed

I came across this and thought it was worth me printing here. We can all use the wisdom of the elderly. Life is short and often times the journey is not without its bumps and bruises. I am not really suffering from writer's block, just been dealing with a lot of emotional stuff and can't articulate it through this venue right now. I will return to normal soon. I am trusting God that this season will pass and it will pass swiftly with me learning whatever He is trying to teach me. Enjoy and remember to bless someone today!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of
the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio.

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote
the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most
requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so
here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are
sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Don't buy stuff you don't need.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9.  Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no
idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't
be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye
But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful.  Clutter
weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to
you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life,
don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the
fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion.
Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words
'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget. 

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because
of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw
everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already
have not what you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Mega-Million Mayhem

Last week, millions of folks were fantasizing about how they would spend the 540 million dollars if they were fortunate enough to have the winning six digits. I am not a lottery player by any stretch of the imagination but like most Americans, I got caught up in the hype and bought a few tickets. Yeah, I have dreams of the foundations I'd start and the great things I'd do with the cash after I take care of my loved ones. Well, here I sit blogging so you know I did NOT win a penny. No surprise there since my chances of winning were about as great as Satan getting back into heaven.

A week later and one of three winners has come forward. So why the post? There is a woman in Maryland who claims to have a winning ticket. She has her co-workers in an uproar because they think she cheated them out of their winnings, she claims to have bought her own tickets that had nothing to do with the pool. Let me just state that I think there have to be some ground rules to an office pool. First, I believe at least two people should go purchase the tickets. Copies need to made and distributed to everyone who participates. You have the right to buy your own tickets but to insure no impropriety, they need to be purchased separately. As of this moment, the woman is claiming not to be able to locate the winning ticket.  Really she lost the winning ticket. Come on! Some would call this karma. 

My first problem with her is that she went to the NY Post before she went to the Baltimore Sun (her local newspaper). Why go anywhere till you have all your ducks in a row? For me, that translates to an attorney and a financial planner. The media has fueled the fire by allowing her to continue to hog attention. In my opinion, she would be one of those winners who will eventually be broke. She has seven children. If she has the ticket, I doubt it is lost. Her behind is probably getting her children out of town and setting things up so she claim her millions and get on a plane and disappear. At the rate she's going, she ought to disappear. People do crazy things for money, Disgruntled McDonald's employees would fit that bill. If said ticket exists, it needs to be presented to the MD State Lottery Commissioner by September 28th. We will continue to watch the drama unfold because I can assure you, there will be additional drama. Be careful with those office pools. Money brings out the best and worst in people. Ciao!

Divaliciously Blessed by Jehovah-Jireh,

Pam

Blind-sided

Ever been going along thinking all is well in your little world only to have someone project their own emotional vomit on you and make you re-think what you believe? If you have been following me for a while, you know that I believe the moody person(as well as the emotionally unstable, unforgiving, and/or bitter) controls the relationship.I hate when this happens.

I am secure and emotionally stable. I usually help people handle their business and get through their problems. Realizing that you can't help someone is often painful. Yet, God is in control and not only does He control every aspect of your life but theirs as well. So the next time you are blind-sided by some one's emotional BS, take a step back and pray for them. Don't fall prey to their emotional folly. Don't argue with them or try to reason it out, it probably isn't worth the time or the effort. Time heals all wounds but a person has to be willing to allow the healing or seek it. Ephesians 4:31-32 says it best, "Put aside all bitterness, losing your temper, anger, shouting, and slander, along with every other evil. Be kind, compassionate, and forgiving to each other, in the same way God forgave you in Christ."  That said, I wonder how you all handle these type of individuals? Gotta go, the beach is calling! Ciao!

Divaliciously yours, 

Pam

Weekend Reflections Revisited

Last week I had a lot on my mind. Today is National Hoodie Day to demand justice for Trayvon Martin. Did you wear yours? This situations till bothers me. It pisses me off that the GOP candidates have had little or nothing to say on the issue. They are all idiots anyway and this simply further confirms it in my mind.  Once the matter is finally resolved, I am hoping we will take a serious stand on Black on Black crime. The murder rate in some of our largest cities is absolutely appalling. We can't keep crying out for justice when one of our children is gunned down senselessly by another race if we aren't willing to take that same stance when we abuse and mistreat each other. Now that is something to think about.

On Saturday, I posted a friendship blog before I gallivanted off to hang with my college friends. I was sort of nonchalant and not very excited. Well, we did have a great time laughing, crying, and coming up with a plan for world peace. Actually, 6 out of  7 of us showed up and we progressed like we'd never been apart. It was a non-stressful day. On Sunday, God had me rethink friendship in light of the blog on the day before. On Sunday, I along with several other ladies, some of whom I consider friends and others I'd classify as acquaintances spent the entire day with another friend. I am in a Bible Study with these women and I also pray with some of them for Moms in Prayer( formerly Moms in Touch, Intl.). Now this was not your run of the mill everyday friend gathering. We had been asked to come to the hospital to pray for and surround a family in love. 

Long story short, the family was in a crisis situation. It is a situation you don't want to see anyone you care about have to deal with. They had some very tough decisions to make.  My friend's ten year old son's health has deteriorated rapidly in the past few months and they didn't think he was going to make it through the day. He did survive the night and as of this posting, he is going to hospice with minimal survival intervention. The parents are at peace with the situation and trusting God with everything else. Why this situation caused me to reflect on friendship is varied. First of all, to be called upon to come in such a dire situation is a privilege and honor. It is heart-wrenching to witness a family's pain and agony. To pray in the midst of everything is also a privilege. I love the family dearly but this is not a girlfriend I hang out with. It is just an unwritten rule that we have each others back. 

As I watched everything play out(and I did feel like I was having an out of body experience at some points) I thought that if I was ever in crisis, this scene would play out for me. We came without question to do whatever needed to be done. We experienced every manner of emotion in a 7-8 hour period. We called our spouses and they came without question and jumped in without reservation. As I type this, I am getting teary. I am so thankful that God has blessed me with friends like this. These aren't people I hang out with and chat up on the phone but they are people who I pray with and perhaps that is more personal and represents a stronger bond. I am not saying that I can't pray with my college friends because we've been there and  done that in the midst of some serious life issues and I know we will do it again. It's just that yesterday really showed me that God's body is truly connected and we can't function with out all the parts. (Ref: Romans 12:3-8) Not only do friendships have their seasons but every friendship is different with its own unique flavor. Don't take for granted that person with whom you have limited history but hardly ever have lunch with or call on the phone. I discovered that she values me despite our limited time together. She respected my ability to seek God's face on her behalf. She felt comfortable sharing her pain and anguish and to me that meant she knew the real bond of friendship. God is all knowing and ever mindful of what we need. I needed a fresh perspective on some things and perhaps you do too. I also needed an attitude adjustment. Life is short and precious. Don't sweat the small stuff. Value the friendships you have and cherish the moments you are given. They may be short or they may last a lifetime but give your all and don't worry about the future. Make sure your real aim is to please an Audience of ONE. Peace!

In Reflective Diva Love, 

Pam

Seasons Change

Happy Saturday everyone. I am going to spend the afternoon with my college girlfriends. We all live in the DMV(except one who is on the mission field in South Africa-she is joining us) but life keeps us apart more than it should. As I anticipate seeing these women who have been with me through so many of my life's highlights, I am forced to reflect on how much relationships change over time. The Bible says it best, "To everything, there is a season." (ref: Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV)

Once young and idyllic, I could not see how true this really would be. Of course there is nothing new under the sun and our God is wise and all-knowing. There are seven of us and two have not checked in to say that they will be in attendance. They are sort of off the radar. Not unusual, it is what it is. What' is funny about all this is that each of our unique roles in this group have changed. It is comical. A friend once told me that "you are the glue that hold the group together." Oh I argued with her and shot her down. Imagine my surprise when I had to confess to her how correct she had been in her assessment. I went away and well, things sorta fell apart. Upon my return, I sorta fell back into my old role but my heart wasn't there. Oh I still loved these women fiercely but my days of orchestrating and planning were OVER. I had moved on. Life had dealt me a hand and I had to change and embrace it. 

Honestly, we have all changed. Life has dealt all of us our own hands. We have each chosen to handle things as best we can. At the core, we all love each other but things have changed. We have had to rally in big ways and small. We have had to adapt and change our support systems. Some one else is the glue. Some have retreated under the pressure of life's circumstance. If you don't tell any one how bad things are, then not only can you not get help but you can't be judged either. I say it all the time, this blog is my therapy. I work my issues out on you. I am always happy to see these women but my excitement has waned. Sometimes it seems as if it is too much work to remain a functioning group. I just wonder if you all are in the same place. Are you mourning the loss of the way things used to be? Are you embracing the changes of your friendships? Have your friendships changed over the years in ways that you couldn't foresee? Do you have friendships that always pick up where they left off no matter what? Those friendships exist with the ladies that I grew up with(at home).  Are you accepting of these things? Just wondering! I am in a melancholy frame of mind. Hope I have a great afternoon! I hope you do too! Ciao!

In Ambivalent Diva Love,

Pam

No Justice, No Peace

I have had this blog in my head for days now. I wanted to wait because I realized that I am passionately emotional about this subject. Trayvon Martin and his unjustified homicide are all over the news and social media. It hurts my heart especially when I see his mom on the news trying to hold it together and be strong to plead for justice in the death of her son. By now, everyone knows the details so I won't digress.

Today, President Obama finally spoke on the situation and honestly, he echoed the sentiments of African Americans everywhere. "If I had a son, he'd look like Trayvon." Well I do have a son. Not a day goes by that I am not keenly aware that my baby has to be taught some lessons that Caucasians don't even have to concern themselves about.  It is a painful reality of being Black in America. Racism remains alive and well in America despite Obama's presidency and occupancy in the White House. 

We HAVE to teach our sons about dealing with the police. We have to teach them about the preconceived notions that many will have just because they are young and Black in America. We have to teach them that their presence on an elevator may make some person uncomfortable by their music choice and apparently their clothing choices and a host of other things that thwart their innocence way too soon. Our reality is not yours. For a change, I am not being cynical, this is real. I think the straw that broke the camel's back and made me put pen to paper was Geraldo Rivera. His simple ass actually said that Trayvon's hoodie is just as responsible for his being shot as the killer. Really, Geraldo? Do you actually believe that? Last time I checked, hoodies were meant to keep us warm. Everyone in my house loves them. Today, Miami Heat showed up for a photo up in support of Trayvon Martin and guess what? They were all wearing hoodies.

The outcry for Trayvon is important because the discussion is not to try Trayvon's killer in the media. The real issue is for justice to be done and a fair investigation take place so the family can have peace of mind and closure. We all deserve the right to walk around without some overzealous individual questioning our rights to be there. There are soo many laws which can be reviewed but this is one that definitely elicits scrutiny.  By all accounts, the police in this case were negligent. They failed to question witnesses, they took the shooter's word without question, they failed to notify the family in a timely manner despite the fact that they had access to his cell phone, and the list goes on. 

I want my son to be comfortable wherever in whatever environment he is placed in. I want him to be seen as a person with rights. As a parent, I will always worry about his welfare. As he grows older, I will worry more about him in terms of where he goes and how he's viewed. Hell, I worry about my husband and brother, and nephews etc. They have an undue burden to deal with because they are Black males in a society that perceives them as threatening. This mentality has been perpetuated for centuries. We can thank the vestiges of slavery for that. I don't foresee a time when that won't be an issue but I'd love to witness it in my lifetime. I am not getting my hopes up. I've seen to much and I know too much. History has not been good to our men and it definitely hasn't been fair. My prayer is that we get to see justice not only for Trayvon but for anyone who is gunned down senseless while walking home with a bag of skittle and a can of iced tea while chatting with their girlfriend. There shouldn't have to rallies and demonstrations and vigils to get a serious investigation. Every life is equally valuable. We cannot allow individuals to take the law into their own hands and then claim self defense. Trayvon belonged in the gated community and was minding his own business. On any given day, we all deserve that. Justice for Trayvon means justice for everyone. I don't think any of us should be at peace with anything less. Trayvon could be your son, he could definitely be mine.

In Justified Diva Love,

Pam

Sensational Saturday

What's up? I know I've been MIA. Let's just chalk it up to life. It happens. Some days good, some days bad, and some days just the grace of God. Today is a good day. It is beautiful outside for the 17th of March. I mean the DMV has pretty much had no snow fall this winter. I am so thankful for that. I think God was looking out for this sister who loves to see a pretty snowfall blanket the earth then melt the next day. I say that because my faithful vehicle has no heat. I think God spared the harsh winter because I am not ready to buy a new to me vehicle. Thank you Lord for blessing me! LOL!

It is tax time. My clients have decreased which I guess is good because I have more work opportunities. Now I am having to prioritize my time a little better and make more moments count. I am trying to stay focused but of course there are family and friends pulling a sista in various directions. I am keenly aware that if Michelle Obama thinks it is important to take time to care foe herself, then that should be a priority for me (and you) as well. So get the mani and the pedi, go out with your girlfriends, or say "No!" to everyone and enjoy some time alone.

Have you folks discovered Pinterest? I love some of the recipes on there. There are great cleaning ideas too. You can pretty much find anything that interests you on the site. I have also found several neat blogs that I keep tabs on regularly. I am surprised at the number of blogs dedicated to cooking. For a foodie like me, that is heaven. There are also some great shower ideas on there. Looks like I will be hosting one soon. My sister is pregnant and she is having a girl....FINALLY! Whoot-woot!

I have not had a chance to read for fun as much as I'd like but I have a list of books that I am going to read very soon. Those titles include Home Front, Defending Jacob, Gathering of Waters, and Lone Wolf.  Any one got a book they want to recommend? I know there is some down time calling my name,. As for television, I did catch Oprah's interview with Whitney Houston's family. I am praying for Bobbi Kristina. I really liked Pat and Gary. I thought the interview was okay considering how little time had passed. It was very sad. Time waits for no one. Yet again, another gentle reminder that Life is short, it is not promised, and that God and God alone knows exactly how much time we have here on earth. That being said, it is a beautiful day in the neighborhood. I need to get out and enjoy it. I just wanted to check in. I know this a random post but I am alive and well. I hope you are too. Happy St. Patrick's Day! Have a safe and blessed weekend!

In True Diva Love, 

Pam

The Whitney List

When Michael Jackson Died, I posted a list of my favorite songs by him. Like Michael, Whitney Houston defined the music of the 80s. She had a voice like no other. Hands down, she could SANG! Before Houston allowed her voice to be diminished by drugs, she reached heights that few artists will ever achieve. God blessed her with an angelic voice. My absolute favorite song is a classic that we hear over and over, The National Anthem. Houston rendered the most stunning rendition of it ever, during the 1991 Super Bowl. It sent chills through me. It made me proud to be an American. I reviewed Whitney's music catalog and was blown away at the number of songs that I had forgotten. Once I saw the song name, I instantly remembered all the words to as soon as I saw it listed. So here they are, in no particular order. 

1.  The Star Spangled Banner

2.  Saving All My Love For You

3.  The Greatest Love of All-originally recorded by George Benson

4.  One Moment in Time

5.  Who Would Imagine a King

6.  Where Do Broken Hearts Go

7.  You Give Good Love

8.  Run to You

9.  On My Own

10. Miracle

11. I Love the Lord

12. I Believe in You and Me

13. Do You Hear What I Hear

14. Jesus Loves Me

15. I Didn't Know My Own Strength

Rest in Peace, Nippy! There will never be a voice like yours. I hope you really are singing in the heavenly choir!

A Saddened Diva,

Pam

The Dash Devotion

As a member of the Leadership team at Community Bible Study, each leader is required to give an opening devotional. This morning was my turn. After debating the topic and procrastinating by watching Whitney Houston's home going service, this is what God laid on my heart. I hope you are encouraged, motivated, and challenged by what I said. Here it is in its entirety.

I was extremely challenged by what to say for this devotion. Most of you don’t know me well nor do you know much about me. I am a Christian saved in October 1985, a wife, a mom, an aunt, a godparent, a friend, a blogger, a travel agent, a former IRS employee, a connoisseur of good food and a person who loves to travel. I am also a repressed bartender and a repressed English teacher. I am a host of other things, a list too long to mention. One thing I am is a pop culture junkie. As you know, Whitney Houston died a little over a week ago. I was saddened but not totally shocked. As the week leading to her funeral played out over every news broadcast, I got to thinking about her life and what it represented. I got to thinking about my own life and what it represents. I think we all tend to take a personal inventory at the beginning of each year. Our life really is the dash between our birth date and death date. Some call it our sunrise and sunset. We don’t know the date nor do we know the hour that God is going to bring us home. The dash is relatively small but it represents the total of our life experiences good, bad, and yes even ugly.

What does that dash really tell others? Nothing. My experience is as varied as yours. Maybe you were a rebellious child but got yourself together by the time you became a young adult. Perhaps your college years were filled with booze, boys, and parties. Maybe as an adult you’ve suffered from depression and anxiety. Perhaps you had dreams and aspirations but an illness or a husband and children came along and have made you table your goals. Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Maybe now even as you sit here in leadership, you are wondering what God’s purpose for your life really is. Perhaps God has told you to do something and you have ignored the call because you don’t think you are good enough, articulate enough, or smart enough. 

Whatever your reality is, it is not a surprise to God. Aren’t you glad He sees the best in us when others see our failures and shortcomings? So what does that have to do with the dash? Well the dash really represents God’s ordered plan for your life. Jeremiah 29:11-13 says: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” He knew when you’d stray, and when you’d fall. He also knew that He’d always give you an opportunity to run into His loving arms and weep and pray, and poor out your heart to him. He never shuts down so we can go to Him 24/7. 

At some point, we’ve all been like the prodigal daughter or prodigal wife. Maybe we’ve been the prodigal friend or the Prodigal Christian. We didn’t trust God enough to do what He said He would do which is to work everything for good for those who love Him. We had to be independent, do it our way, on our own. We strayed away from the confines of a safe place where we received unconditional love and understanding into a sea of sinfulness and wayward living and thinking. We satisfied our fleshly desires and perhaps hurt some dear loved ones along the way. We all know that only what we do for Christ will last. We also know that life gets in the way and sometimes our motives for doing things are simply wrong. Sometimes our agenda is self-centered, not Christ focused. Matthew 12:30(NLT) says, “Anyone who isn’t with me opposes me, and anyone who isn’t working with me is actually working against me.” None of wakes up thinking, “Hmm, let me see if I can oppose God today.” We don’t willingly want to harm God but that is what happens our actions aren’t pleasing and reflective of His character.   

When the fog lifts and we find our way back to what we left, don’t we want to be welcomed? Don’t we hope that we don’t have to be reminded of our guilt? Don’t we pray we don’t have to deal with an older brother or spouse or friend who is too angry to welcome us with open arms and forgive us of our transgression and moment of insanity? Every day we must purpose in our hearts to look to Christ, not the people He puts in our path. Those people will cause us to stumble because we can’t control their actions or reactions. We can only control our own thoughts, words, and actions. No matter how off track we may get, we can always find our way back to God. Psalm 46:1 says that “God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.” 

So, what if you have been doubting your ability to do something God has been nudging you to do? That task that you are ignoring may be the most important aspect that your dash is supposed to represent. If God has called you, you are equipped to do the job with His guidance. No need to be afraid or worry. I Timothy 1:7 says, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love, and of a sound mind.”

Maybe you are at a loss as to where to begin. You might need to put your vision down on paper. In chapter 2 verse 2-3, God told Habakkuk, “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; It will certainly come and will not delay.” Research has proven that putting our goals down on paper means they are more likely to come to fruition. So write it down, even if it doesn’t make sense or doesn’t look like it has a chance of occurring. With God all things are possible and not be cliche, yes we can do everything through Him who gives us strength. 

Then you might need to get an accountability partner to keep you on track. Choose that person wisely. 1 Corinthians 15:33 tells us, “Do not be misled, bad company corrupts good character.” Make sure the person shares your vision and puts their confidence in God and prays often. Your person needs to be honest, respectful, encouraging, gentle and intimate. Those are strong shoes to fill. Ask the Lord to lead you to the right person, your partner may not be your best friend. Jus saying…..something to think about. As much as we need God, we still need other people. It is through relationship, the God builds our character and teaches us to love others as much as we love ourselves. 

All that being said, one day all of us are going to die. We don’t get to be privy to what will be said at our funeral/memorial service. Whatever words are spoken will be representative of what we did with our dash. It is the only place where every single one of our worlds actually collide. It is almost funny that we don’t get to witness it. Let’s face it, we have all been to a service where things were said that revealed a whole other side of a person that we didn’t know. People let you see what they want you to see. You can know a person but not KNOW the person. Whatever the case, make sure your dash reflects who you really are. Your character is supposed to be consistent. The work Pam should be consistent with the church Pam. The neighborhood Pam should be consistent with the friend Pam and on and on. Your lasting impression on this earth is really up to you. 

What will your legacy be? Will you have done great things for Christ? Will people even know that you loved the Lord? Or will they sit at your service thinking who the heck is this person that they are talking about? Will you be known for the fruit of your labor, will God be in the details? Think about the legacy you want to leave behind. If you died today would you like what people have to say or do you want to change the perception? Your dash is totally driven by you. Your life is calling, get busy living, changing, moving, and shaking. God has laid the foundation, we just need to order our steps and carry it out. Ephesians 2:10 tells us, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” I close with The Dash Poem which was written by Linda Ellis: 

I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the date of her tombstone

From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth

And spoke of the following date with tears

But he said what matters most of all

Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time

That she spent alive on earth

And now only those who loved her

Know what the little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own,

The cars, the house, the cash

What matters most is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.

So think about it long and hard;

Are things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left

That can still be arranged.

If we can just slow down enough

To consider what’s true and real

And always try and understand

The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect

And more often wear a smile,

Remembering that this special dash

Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read,

With your life’s actions to rehash

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent your dash?