Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Diva Dialogue VI

I guess you can see I still have a lot of things floating around in my head and as usual, they are dying to escape. So here I go on yet another random number of things to think about. By the way, today I began my new gig. First day with a government agency = PAPERWORK, PAPERWORK, and more PAPERWORK! So basically, I can't tell you anything about what I'm really going to be doing. As is the case in any training class, you can quickly determine who is bright and whose light bulb is rather dim. You can also tell who the rule breakers are and who the rule followers are. That's all I'm going to say about that.

I have nothing to hide but I am extremely annoyed and defensive when my privacy is violated. Yes, I know that is completely random! I simply needed to get it off my chest. That said, those who seek, find. When you find, how do you proceed? I'm just curious! I have my own ideas but I'm asking for opinions.

Shout out to Mo'nique on winning the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her role in Precious. Which brings me to my next subject. Do you watch her talk show which airs on BET? What do you think of it? I watch her upon occasion. I always check to see who will be on Mo'nique's show whether I am planning to watch or not. So naturally I noticed the lack of non-colored individuals on the guest list. I am wondering if she can continue to maintain a show by only having African American celebrities grace her stage. Robin Thicke is the only person I've seen who is not of the African American persuasion. His music has crossed over and appeals by and large to us. His wife, actress Paula Patton is African American. Now we all know that wouldn't happen if she was on any other network. I'm just saying!


Another topic that I have on my mind is Republican National Committee Chairman, Michael Steele. What do you think of him and his role in the RNC? Do you think he has what it takes to carry the party forward? Do you think he has the ability to draw more African Americans to engage in the Republican party? My belief is that he was selected to do just that. Unfortunately, his press is not all that great. He has made several mis-appointed statements and appears to be engaged in war over control of the GOP with Rush Limbaugh, who is quite vocal about his desire to see our President fail immensely. Steele is currently embroiled in a battle with his own party over his lavish spending habits. Some think he should step down because he is eroding confidence in the party at a time when they need to focus on mid-term elections. My personal thought is that he is trying really hard to make a name for himself. I think he has serious political aspirations but he does not have the charisma or mental savvy to garner the support needed for any of the offices that he's aspiring to. SN: I am not calling the man dumb. I just think he needs to mature and refocus. Do you agree or disagree?

Sarah Palin is another who could benefit from maturity. Education and exposure to people who think less like her would also be of benefit to her. Clearly, she is out to make a name for herself. Let's face it, anyone with any ounce of sense knows that allowing Sarah Palin to have any power would be a grave mistake. She is good for rallying a crowd and delivering a few choice soundbites but that is the extent of her ability. She has become the face of the Tea Party but if they want to move forward they are going to need a more intellectually stimulating leader who appeals to a broader spectrum of people. As you can tell by any of my previous posts, I am not a fan. I think the GOP made a huge error when they selected her as John McCain's running mate. They failed to do their homework and she diminished the chances of a GOP victory.

Honestly, both parties need to work on attracting different groups of people to their side. Palin was to appeal to the women like Michael Steele was to appeal to African Americans. Neither was effective. Politicians need to learn to really represent their constituents. we as voters, need to demand this. We can't be complacent. America needs change in a lot of areas. We need to improve the way that we educate our children and care for our elderly. We need financial reform. We need to find ways to do work cheaper so that we can stop sending our work out to third world countries. We need to take better care of our poor and homeless. Yes, we have a responsibility to be neighborly and charitable but my mama taught me that charity begins at home. We are not doing so well taking care of home. We need to find a way to deal with immigration in a real and viable way. We can't allow anything that looks like racial profiling to occur. America can't handle it any other way. There are always those who feel entitled and more privileged than others and equity tends to go out the window. If you aren't a minority, this probably is not your reality. I could go on but this is a start. We can't allow Senate or Congress to say "NO!" just to further their party's interests. We have to demand and require them to vote the agendas that further the people they represent. I am a firm believer that no politician should be able to make a lifetime career out of that position. I think I mentioned the same thing about Supreme Court Justices. 12 years maximum for every one of them and goodness can we please set some age limits.

Okay that is it. I don't plan to do another Diva Dialogue for a bit. I could be wrong! Bear with me! I am working through a parenting blog and a blog on the damage done in the church as well as jealousy. I have a friendship blog in my head too. Soooo, great things ahead. For now, I gotta go. I gotta get up in the morning cause I gotta J-O-B! Plus, I need to work out too. Til next time, smile because on your worst day, it is better than someone else's best day. If you can't smile, then pray! Peace and love!

Copyright April 27, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Diva Dialogue V

April is just about over! By now, everyone should have submitted their tax returns or at least have gotten an extension to file the returns. That would give you til October 15th to handle Uncle Sam's business. Hope he owed you instead of the other way around. Okay, that's it for me talking about other people's money till next year.

April saw a lot of loss. The month began with a tragic mining explosion in West Virginia. The total death count, when all was said and done, was 29 miners. The explosion which occurred at the Massey Energy Co was the worst coal mining disaster in 40 years. Another tragic occurrence was a plane crash which killed the President of Poland and a number of the country's top political and military personnel. 97 people died in the crash where pilots ignored the warnings of air traffic controllers to land at a different airport.

The African American community also suffered loss. Benjamin Hooks, most famous for boosting the NAACP to new heights, died on April 15th. Hooks became president of the NAACP in 1977, when the stature of the organization had diminished, membership was down, and the organization was in serious debt. By 1992 when he stepped down, the NAACP had a strong foundation and was viewed with far more dignity than years before and membership had significantly increased. Hooks' other accomplishments include being the first African American FCC Commissioner and a recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of this country's highest civilian honors. In short, Hooks, a lawyer, pastor and civil rights activist will be missed.

Dorothy Height, another Civil Rights activist died on April 20th at the age of 98. Height was a key player in pushing civil rights to the forefront of politics after World War II. She fought tirelessly for school desegregation, voting rights, employment opportunities, and public accomodations in the 1950s and 1960s. She headed the National Council of Negro Women for 40 years. Still highly respected, Height died of an undisclosed illness. her services will be held at the Washington Cathedral next week after several public memorials.

Finally, the hip-hop community took a hit when a founding member, Keith Elam aka "Guru" of the group Gang Starr, succumbed to a battle with cancer. Elam suffered a heart attack on March 2nd and lapsed into a coma. Guru attempted to keep his medical illness private. The formation of Gang Starr helped to define East Coast rap with socially conscious lyrics and jazz heavy samples. Guru partnered with DJ Premier to form the group which released 6 albums.


It has been a rough week and I am happy it's the weekend. I'm processing a lot of things. I feel like I have been a valley and frankly, I am ready for a mountaintop experience. Nothing like a feeling of needing to be filled to put you on your face in prayer and seeking the Lord's will for you. Also, I am kinda excited about the Census job. It will take me right through the children getting out of school and hopefully what will be a nice family vacation to sunny Costa Rica(Puerta Vallarta is also being considered). Wish me the best, I haven't adhered to a work schedule in over five years. Honestly, I love the freedom and opportunity is has given me to volunteer and to be able to do other things but I miss some things about working. I will let you all know how things work out. Training begins next week. Peace and blessings to each of you!

Copyright April 23, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

I Have my eye on your Status

I have a couple of things on my mind and honestly they are totally unrelated. First up, is our children and their outlets of expression. What has me on this topic is that one of my young cousins used Facebook as an avenue to blast her mother. It totally pissed me off because #1 it was ignorant and #2 it was completely disrespectful. Last week, there was a segment on the Today Show about parents "friending" their children and it highlighted a father-son relationship that had fallen apart over comments expressed and photos posted on FB. The son ended up deleting his dad as his friend. I informed my cousin that her child had completely dissed her on FB and that it was offensive to me as an adult as well as inappropriate. My cousin addressed her daughter and she came back with a rant addressed to me about how she thought this was an avenue she could vent and express herself and that now she would have to keep her feelings all bottled up and become depressed and yada, yada, yada. Honestly, if I lived in the same city, I'd probably would've tried to beat her young smarta$$. Don't even get me started on the fact that her mom said to me that she and the wayward child's father weren't allowed to be her(the child) friend on FB. WTF? Really now? She is a kid, on a laptop that her mom bought and paid for, being used in a house supplied by electricity and Internet connections that said mom pays for. Am I the crazy one here?

These children really don't realize how much these social networks can impact and affect their lives. Recruiters and potential employers scout these sites and use the information collected to make hiring decisions. I won't even discuss the potential pedophiles, bullies, and other sickos who use this information to target potential victims. At what point did expression of self become so important? At what cost? I am a parent attempting to instill character and morals to my children. They follow my rules as long as they live in my house. They don't have to like them, heck I don't like all the rules that I follow(I love driving fast). You only get one reputation and I am of the mindset that you should protect it at all cost. Never post anything that might come back to bite you in the butt. Save the cursing period, it is not cute and who the heck wants to read that crap anyway? What you put out there is a reflection of who you really are or the person you want people to perceive you to be.

So for those of you with children out there....are your children on FB? Are you their "friend?" How much monitoring of their page do you do? I have teens(usually children of friends) who are my "friends" on my page. I call them out if I see anything inappropriate, not because I'm the FB police, but because I am aware of the long term ramifications it can have. If I think they need to be encouraged, I do that too. I'd want the same for my child. It still takes a village to raise a child despite the fact that it seems less and less so each day. Occasionally, there is even the well meaning adult who gives questionable advice. That always pains me. How would you have handled the situation? Was I wrong? What do you think of all of this?

You know I said that I had a couple of things on my mind but I'm going to address my other issue in a separate post. I am too tired to blog it out. I love you all. I hope this week is treating you well. Peace!

Copyright April 21, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Tea Party Simplified

So I was a rather ambivalent individual when it came to politics. Then Barack Obama decided to run for President of the United States and all of a sudden, I was energized and had a renewed sense of political responsibility. It was not because Obama promised change but because he, an African American man, had his shit together enough to organize and handle a viable political race. I was engaged because I never thought that that would happen in my life time. At that point, I had no idea who I would support but no matter the choice, I, like many of my usually enthusiastic friends, was now paying attention to the issues. Well what a surprise when Obama was victorious. Like most Americans, I felt change would be a great thing. It was refreshing to see college students, Latinos, and people who usually were not engaged in the political process come alive and take interest in the political events.

Well here we are a little over a year later and things are well sorta crazy. Sarah Palin's face is popping up on my television nightly and honestly, she is not a face I want to see. I found her to be a pandering unintelligent woman the GOP sought out to give John McCain more electability. Oops, big mistake! They failed to do their research and she cost him the election. Remember, my blog, my opinion. I digress. We keep seeing Palin as all these Tea Party demonstrations pop up in various cities around the US. Well I honestly had no idea what the heck they really stood for so I guessed, neither did most of you. I could be wrong but bear with me as I attempt to educate myself and you in the process. Here is what I found, maybe it'll help us all better understand their purpose.

Last year on April 15th 2009, millions of hardworking Americans stood in unison in over 800 protests around the country.

These protests, which became known as the Tax Day Tea Party, expressed real concerns against reckless government spending and spawned millions of Americans to get involved in their local Tea Parties which today are holding elected officials accountable.

The name "Tea Party" is a reference to the Boston Tea Party, whose principal aim was to protest taxation without representation. Tea Party protests have sought to evoke images, slogans and themes from the American Revolution, such as tri-corner hats and "Don't Tread on Me" flags. The letters T-E-A have been used by some protesters to form the acronym "Taxed Enough Already". The theme of the Boston Tea Party, an iconic event of American history, has long been used by anti-tax protesters with libertarian and conservative viewpoints. It was part of Tax Day protests held throughout the 1990s and earlier. The libertarian theme of the "tea party" protest was previously used by Republican Congressman Ron Paul and his supporters as a fundraising event during the primaries of the 2008 presidential campaign to emphasize Paul's fiscal conservatism, which they later claimed laid the groundwork for the modern-day Tea Party movement. As home mortgage foreclosures increased, and details of the 2009 stimulus bill became known, including the provision for the AIG executive bonuses, organized protests began to emerge.

Tea Party Nation (or TPN) is a user-driven group of like-minded people who desire our God given Individual Freedoms which were written out by the Founding Fathers. We believe in Limited Government, Free Speech, the 2nd Amendment, our Military, Secure Borders and our Country!

Well that is it. There wasn't much info out there but I wanted a concise definition so I could judge the motives from an educated point of view. Whenever I hear the words "Founding Fathers" I cringe. I immediately think pre-Civil Rights. Largely I see Caucasian Americans, typically males who make more money than average Americans and they are not particularly happy with the way America is changing. They are living the American Dream but they don't support diversity and they believe in the good ole boy networks. Most have never struggled a day in their life and they don't care about or have any identity with those who have. There are women involved in the movement, too. There are even African Americans but they a really small minority. My personal take is that if I could take a sample of them they'd be from rural suburban areas which are relatively homogeneous in make up. They probably have not moved very much and they probably have no friends of color. I am sure they possess guns. They will want nothing to do with health care, immigration, or anything that would help the the masses. Disclaimer--I do believe we need a plan to deal with illegal immigrants and a way to prevent an increase in illegal individuals entering the country. So what are your thoughts? Do you see the Tea Party having a real impact on politics or does it just give voice to subliminal hatred and nonacceptance? Inquiring minds want to know. Till next time, have a great weekend! Ciao!

Copyright April 16, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Diva Dialogue IV

So I have been a tad incognegro. Sorry peeps, I love you all but I gotta make the dollas while I can. April 15th is right around the corner and I have been busy. You gotta give Uncle Sam his due. Those days I chilled with my family over Spring Break made a sista have to do double time. But after this week, I should be back. Well, maybe not. I got a temporary gig. I am going to work for the US Census Bureau for a couple of months. Should be interesting to say the least. Have you returned your forms? They were due on April 1st. You definitely want to be counted.

Anyhoo, I was in my car on Sunday and was was overwhelmed with a huge dose of profound sadness over 3 family members who have all passed on. It was the weirdest thing. All three of the individuals just popped in my mind and I felt so sad over them being absent from my life. I thought of my grandfather who died in January, 1988, my dad who passed in May 2005, and my aunt Lennie who died in March 2007. Usually I think of each of them at random points but never all at the same time. The grief and sadness I felt was really strong and it came out of the blue. Each of them impacted my life in ways great and small and honestly, I feel like they are all in Heaven watching over me. I can't tell you how much I wish they would pop up in my dreams. Occasionally they do show up in my dreams but it is so infrequently and random that I am never satisfied. God knows best. Anyway, let me remind you to love on your family while you still have them. Life really is precious and you never know what the next day holds. Grief never really ends, it just gets easier each year. It comes out of nowhere and it disappears just as quickly.

I have all kinds of thoughts running through my head so bear with me as I roll from topic to topic. they will not be at all related to each other. Just a warning! Tiger Woods, at the Masters without Elin. He's back, his game was a tad off. No surprise there. I think Tiger was given way too much press. Tiger brought it all on himself but really there are so many other things that could've been focused on. By contrast, how sweet it was to see Amy Mickelson greet her victorious husband while battling breast cancer.

I finally saw Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too. If I have not put the disclaimer out, let me do it now. I love TP but I always hate the way his movies end. This was no exception. The situation between Janet Jackson's character and her husband never gets resolved. As usual, Tasha Smith's character was over the top. The most realistic situation was the one between Jill Scott's character and her husband. Good men can't take it when they aren't providing for their families. Their pride takes a hit and they suffer from a depression that I don't think we as women can understand. A friend of mine out out a FB status about TP always having a light-skinned man come in and rescue the damsel in distress. I laughed and joked but it really is true. Look at the body of his work and you will agree. All that said, I think TP's movie are purely entertainment and they provide good fodder for conversation. I also think he could benefit from an excellent writing team. They could close up loose ends and offer some less predictable scenarios. I will give him props for doing the damn thing though. His studios are awesome!

I think the Gosselins are conniving manipulative individuals milking their fans (and haters) to the Nth degree. Kate goes on a whirlwind promotional tour and Jon accuses her of being negligent and pursues custody of their 8 crumb snatchers. Personally, and you heard it here first, I think they plan this stuff. He had been relatively silent and unseen until she needed to promote her latest book and her stint on Dancing With The Stars. Oh dare I mention that TLC is giving Kate and the kids two new shows. I see a pattern emerging here. Or am I the crazy one?

Satan is on the prowl. I know, no surprise there either. Marriage is not easy for anyone. It seems that the devil is attacking relationships and folks who are professing Christians are buckling under pressure. I am convinced that God had high expectations about how he envisioned marriage and that He is disappointed that we continuously fall short, sometimes, intentionally. Marriage is work and it should not be entered into lightly. Men are called to love their wives and women are called to respect their husbands. It sounds so easy but I can certainly attest to the fact that is never is quite that simple. Our flesh gets in the way. We place conditions on the situation that God did not ordain. We get advice from the wrong people. We forget to have fun, have dates, and be spontaneous. We forget to let go of our anger, hurts and personal agendas. We go to bed angry. In short, we operate out of selfishness instead of love. Okay, so I am thinking I need to do a whole other blog about marriage. So I will end here for now. Pray for your future spouse. Pray for your marriage. Pray for the marriages of your friends. Don't give Satan an opportunity to destroy families from the inside out.

Well meaning Christians can damage ministries and individuals. Well that could be a blog too. For now, I'm just gonna say that I have seen it happen a few times too many. Self righteous people trying to correct wrongs from their personal perspective instead of God's. It pisses me off because not only do feelings get hurt but ministries(or organizations) get stunted because of underlying and often unresolved issues or unchecked attitudes. Sometimes things don't need to be fixed because God has a plan and it might not have included you and your well intentioned self. You could be in the way of something bigger and more meaningful. Enough said.

This is my forum and I can say whatever I want. If I offend you, you can CHOOSE not to read this blog. I am saying that because I am sick of folks using Facebook in a passive aggressive manner and trying to tell people off with their statuses. How juvenile!!!! Last week I saw a segment about people bashing bloggers. Another passive aggressive tactic. If you have an opinion don't hide behind a social networking site or anonymous comments, be woman enough to confront the issue with the person. Really!

I have hit a plateau with my weight loss. That is not a good thing. Any suggestions? It has been about 4 months and I have lost about 16 pounds. I am so very proud of myself. I have been diligent in my AM workouts and with the exception of Spring Break, I have pretty much only been drinking water. I had a reunion with Pepsi for a week and it was so sweet. Parting is such sweet sorrow but parting was necessary for me to remain discipline. I am not thinking of giving up, I just want to continue to see results.

You all know that I love to read. I have a new favorite author. Her name is Kristin Hannah. She writes wonderful stories about family relationships. They are fresh and unpredictable. Check er out. She has a plethora of stories out there. My girl Jodi Picoult has a new book out, but I need to give her a break. She has Tyler Perry syndrome. I hate the endings of her novels. She makes me think but enough is enough. The endings make me want to throw the book across the room. I will also be checking out more of Barbara Delinsky's novels. I read one on Spring Break and it was excellent. Check her out too.

BTW_I am seriously waiting for Barack to have a Southside of Chicago Ghetto moment. It as been a year and I just want him to pull rank and let everyone know that he is the HNIC! Ahh, it would be so liberating. I am just sayin........you know you agree. LOL!

Okay so I guess, I have cleared my mind little. Thanks for bearing with me. I love you all. I would love feedback. Talk to me folks! I really want to hear from you.

Copyright April 13, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Race Card

Dorna has another opinion to share.....again, your feedback is welcome. She highlights a much discussed topic....race in America. It is a significant issue, but mainstream America is loathe to really deal with it honestly. I have an opinion about this subject but I have not completed my blog on the subject. I want to deliver a candid piece that doesn't come off angry and bitter. So eventually, you all will see it, but not now. Anyway, Here is Dorna's opinion on the matter. Have a good weekend!!

Over the years I’ve seen events blown out of proportion because the “race card” is played. Unfortunately, a lot of times the issue of race/color is injected inappropriately and skews the real issue and dynamics of a solution. But recently I have begun to realize that as much as I would like to see the world with rose colored glasses, race is a HUGE factor in the majority of situations.
For those who don’t know me, let me give you some background on Dorna. I am an African-American who grew up in Gary, IN. Unbeknownst to me, Gary was actually a segregated city, it just wasn't apparent to me. I went to an all Black elementary school from 2nd through 6th grades. I went to a predominately White middle school across town for a “better” education where I was usually the only black or 1 of maybe 4 at the most. I went to a private even more predominately White school for 2 years and then back to public school, again predominately White. I went to a HBCU for college where only 1 white student matriculated. Each time I landed in a new environment I made friends; accepting all regardless of color as people who were like me…fun! These experiences formed one of the major tenets of my life and I tell my daughter this regularly, good people and idiots come in all colors. I have friends of all backgrounds and hue which is exactly how I like it!

After college, I moved to the DC area and worked with a diverse population and really didn’t think much on the matter of race. I married and settled in Northern Virginia living in predominately white neighborhoods. Again I made many friends and enjoyed fulfilling relationships. Approximately 5 years ago I moved to Southwest GA and subsequently Atlanta, Georgia. OMG…Can you say CULTURE SHOCK?!!! It became pretty apparent rather quickly things were very different in GA. The racial divide was more like an abyss!! Every day I was reminded of my color from Whites and Blacks; there were no other minorities in SW GA. Atlanta has not proven to be much different, but there are other minorities to be seen.

My racial experience since living in Georgia has really made me rethink how people see me, how I see myself and how I interact with people. I’ve always known that I’m Black, but that was not what defined me. When things didn’t work out or I had an issue with someone, I didn't play the "race card"; being Black was the last thing on my list as the reason. I defined myself as Dorna who happens to be a Black person, but now I’m a Black person named Dorna. I haven’t totally decided if this is a good change but what I do know is, we have not come as far as we would like to think regarding race; and racism is alive and well in these United States!!

I still think diversity is the best option in terms of interaction for me, but I’m more cognizant of how peoples’ thought processes regarding me and the world are formed. I can see a little clearer some of the hidden agendas that keep minorities in situations of disadvantage and oppression. I see how Civil Rights and Affirmative Action have not “leveled” the playing field; but have muddied it. We ALL have biases and to pretend otherwise is disingenuous. The only way to eradicate racism is true change in mind sets and perceptions. Racism is a very deep pervasive issue that unless openly and candidly addressed, will never be resolved. It is more apparent to me than ever since Barack Obama was elected the “race card” is seriously in play. From criticism that has been leveled against him in rude divisive tirades to assassination threats that are so cavalierly issued. Don’t get me wrong, I have issues with some of Barack’s policies, but I have had issues with all of the presidents with the exception of Jimmy Carter. For the record, I was going to vote for Hillary Clinton and went out of my way not to look at Obama’s color as a factor for my candidate. But I have to say, once he was elected, I was happy a Black man had finally made it to the White House. And not just any Black man but one who I could relate to; strong, intelligent, and innovative with a middle class upbringing and diverse connections. He and his family (immediate & extended) epitomize the “melting pot” that is supposed to be America.

I pray now for true equality for all and real dialogue that breaks down barriers. I pray I make a difference by my behavior and interaction with everyone. I pray one day, we will all be free and truly love thy neighbors as Christ loves us!!


Copyright April 10, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe