Weekend Reflections Revisited

Last week I had a lot on my mind. Today is National Hoodie Day to demand justice for Trayvon Martin. Did you wear yours? This situations till bothers me. It pisses me off that the GOP candidates have had little or nothing to say on the issue. They are all idiots anyway and this simply further confirms it in my mind.  Once the matter is finally resolved, I am hoping we will take a serious stand on Black on Black crime. The murder rate in some of our largest cities is absolutely appalling. We can't keep crying out for justice when one of our children is gunned down senselessly by another race if we aren't willing to take that same stance when we abuse and mistreat each other. Now that is something to think about.

On Saturday, I posted a friendship blog before I gallivanted off to hang with my college friends. I was sort of nonchalant and not very excited. Well, we did have a great time laughing, crying, and coming up with a plan for world peace. Actually, 6 out of  7 of us showed up and we progressed like we'd never been apart. It was a non-stressful day. On Sunday, God had me rethink friendship in light of the blog on the day before. On Sunday, I along with several other ladies, some of whom I consider friends and others I'd classify as acquaintances spent the entire day with another friend. I am in a Bible Study with these women and I also pray with some of them for Moms in Prayer( formerly Moms in Touch, Intl.). Now this was not your run of the mill everyday friend gathering. We had been asked to come to the hospital to pray for and surround a family in love. 

Long story short, the family was in a crisis situation. It is a situation you don't want to see anyone you care about have to deal with. They had some very tough decisions to make.  My friend's ten year old son's health has deteriorated rapidly in the past few months and they didn't think he was going to make it through the day. He did survive the night and as of this posting, he is going to hospice with minimal survival intervention. The parents are at peace with the situation and trusting God with everything else. Why this situation caused me to reflect on friendship is varied. First of all, to be called upon to come in such a dire situation is a privilege and honor. It is heart-wrenching to witness a family's pain and agony. To pray in the midst of everything is also a privilege. I love the family dearly but this is not a girlfriend I hang out with. It is just an unwritten rule that we have each others back. 

As I watched everything play out(and I did feel like I was having an out of body experience at some points) I thought that if I was ever in crisis, this scene would play out for me. We came without question to do whatever needed to be done. We experienced every manner of emotion in a 7-8 hour period. We called our spouses and they came without question and jumped in without reservation. As I type this, I am getting teary. I am so thankful that God has blessed me with friends like this. These aren't people I hang out with and chat up on the phone but they are people who I pray with and perhaps that is more personal and represents a stronger bond. I am not saying that I can't pray with my college friends because we've been there and  done that in the midst of some serious life issues and I know we will do it again. It's just that yesterday really showed me that God's body is truly connected and we can't function with out all the parts. (Ref: Romans 12:3-8) Not only do friendships have their seasons but every friendship is different with its own unique flavor. Don't take for granted that person with whom you have limited history but hardly ever have lunch with or call on the phone. I discovered that she values me despite our limited time together. She respected my ability to seek God's face on her behalf. She felt comfortable sharing her pain and anguish and to me that meant she knew the real bond of friendship. God is all knowing and ever mindful of what we need. I needed a fresh perspective on some things and perhaps you do too. I also needed an attitude adjustment. Life is short and precious. Don't sweat the small stuff. Value the friendships you have and cherish the moments you are given. They may be short or they may last a lifetime but give your all and don't worry about the future. Make sure your real aim is to please an Audience of ONE. Peace!

In Reflective Diva Love, 

Pam

Seasons Change

Happy Saturday everyone. I am going to spend the afternoon with my college girlfriends. We all live in the DMV(except one who is on the mission field in South Africa-she is joining us) but life keeps us apart more than it should. As I anticipate seeing these women who have been with me through so many of my life's highlights, I am forced to reflect on how much relationships change over time. The Bible says it best, "To everything, there is a season." (ref: Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV)

Once young and idyllic, I could not see how true this really would be. Of course there is nothing new under the sun and our God is wise and all-knowing. There are seven of us and two have not checked in to say that they will be in attendance. They are sort of off the radar. Not unusual, it is what it is. What' is funny about all this is that each of our unique roles in this group have changed. It is comical. A friend once told me that "you are the glue that hold the group together." Oh I argued with her and shot her down. Imagine my surprise when I had to confess to her how correct she had been in her assessment. I went away and well, things sorta fell apart. Upon my return, I sorta fell back into my old role but my heart wasn't there. Oh I still loved these women fiercely but my days of orchestrating and planning were OVER. I had moved on. Life had dealt me a hand and I had to change and embrace it. 

Honestly, we have all changed. Life has dealt all of us our own hands. We have each chosen to handle things as best we can. At the core, we all love each other but things have changed. We have had to rally in big ways and small. We have had to adapt and change our support systems. Some one else is the glue. Some have retreated under the pressure of life's circumstance. If you don't tell any one how bad things are, then not only can you not get help but you can't be judged either. I say it all the time, this blog is my therapy. I work my issues out on you. I am always happy to see these women but my excitement has waned. Sometimes it seems as if it is too much work to remain a functioning group. I just wonder if you all are in the same place. Are you mourning the loss of the way things used to be? Are you embracing the changes of your friendships? Have your friendships changed over the years in ways that you couldn't foresee? Do you have friendships that always pick up where they left off no matter what? Those friendships exist with the ladies that I grew up with(at home).  Are you accepting of these things? Just wondering! I am in a melancholy frame of mind. Hope I have a great afternoon! I hope you do too! Ciao!

In Ambivalent Diva Love,

Pam

No Justice, No Peace

I have had this blog in my head for days now. I wanted to wait because I realized that I am passionately emotional about this subject. Trayvon Martin and his unjustified homicide are all over the news and social media. It hurts my heart especially when I see his mom on the news trying to hold it together and be strong to plead for justice in the death of her son. By now, everyone knows the details so I won't digress.

Today, President Obama finally spoke on the situation and honestly, he echoed the sentiments of African Americans everywhere. "If I had a son, he'd look like Trayvon." Well I do have a son. Not a day goes by that I am not keenly aware that my baby has to be taught some lessons that Caucasians don't even have to concern themselves about.  It is a painful reality of being Black in America. Racism remains alive and well in America despite Obama's presidency and occupancy in the White House. 

We HAVE to teach our sons about dealing with the police. We have to teach them about the preconceived notions that many will have just because they are young and Black in America. We have to teach them that their presence on an elevator may make some person uncomfortable by their music choice and apparently their clothing choices and a host of other things that thwart their innocence way too soon. Our reality is not yours. For a change, I am not being cynical, this is real. I think the straw that broke the camel's back and made me put pen to paper was Geraldo Rivera. His simple ass actually said that Trayvon's hoodie is just as responsible for his being shot as the killer. Really, Geraldo? Do you actually believe that? Last time I checked, hoodies were meant to keep us warm. Everyone in my house loves them. Today, Miami Heat showed up for a photo up in support of Trayvon Martin and guess what? They were all wearing hoodies.

The outcry for Trayvon is important because the discussion is not to try Trayvon's killer in the media. The real issue is for justice to be done and a fair investigation take place so the family can have peace of mind and closure. We all deserve the right to walk around without some overzealous individual questioning our rights to be there. There are soo many laws which can be reviewed but this is one that definitely elicits scrutiny.  By all accounts, the police in this case were negligent. They failed to question witnesses, they took the shooter's word without question, they failed to notify the family in a timely manner despite the fact that they had access to his cell phone, and the list goes on. 

I want my son to be comfortable wherever in whatever environment he is placed in. I want him to be seen as a person with rights. As a parent, I will always worry about his welfare. As he grows older, I will worry more about him in terms of where he goes and how he's viewed. Hell, I worry about my husband and brother, and nephews etc. They have an undue burden to deal with because they are Black males in a society that perceives them as threatening. This mentality has been perpetuated for centuries. We can thank the vestiges of slavery for that. I don't foresee a time when that won't be an issue but I'd love to witness it in my lifetime. I am not getting my hopes up. I've seen to much and I know too much. History has not been good to our men and it definitely hasn't been fair. My prayer is that we get to see justice not only for Trayvon but for anyone who is gunned down senseless while walking home with a bag of skittle and a can of iced tea while chatting with their girlfriend. There shouldn't have to rallies and demonstrations and vigils to get a serious investigation. Every life is equally valuable. We cannot allow individuals to take the law into their own hands and then claim self defense. Trayvon belonged in the gated community and was minding his own business. On any given day, we all deserve that. Justice for Trayvon means justice for everyone. I don't think any of us should be at peace with anything less. Trayvon could be your son, he could definitely be mine.

In Justified Diva Love,

Pam

Sensational Saturday

What's up? I know I've been MIA. Let's just chalk it up to life. It happens. Some days good, some days bad, and some days just the grace of God. Today is a good day. It is beautiful outside for the 17th of March. I mean the DMV has pretty much had no snow fall this winter. I am so thankful for that. I think God was looking out for this sister who loves to see a pretty snowfall blanket the earth then melt the next day. I say that because my faithful vehicle has no heat. I think God spared the harsh winter because I am not ready to buy a new to me vehicle. Thank you Lord for blessing me! LOL!

It is tax time. My clients have decreased which I guess is good because I have more work opportunities. Now I am having to prioritize my time a little better and make more moments count. I am trying to stay focused but of course there are family and friends pulling a sista in various directions. I am keenly aware that if Michelle Obama thinks it is important to take time to care foe herself, then that should be a priority for me (and you) as well. So get the mani and the pedi, go out with your girlfriends, or say "No!" to everyone and enjoy some time alone.

Have you folks discovered Pinterest? I love some of the recipes on there. There are great cleaning ideas too. You can pretty much find anything that interests you on the site. I have also found several neat blogs that I keep tabs on regularly. I am surprised at the number of blogs dedicated to cooking. For a foodie like me, that is heaven. There are also some great shower ideas on there. Looks like I will be hosting one soon. My sister is pregnant and she is having a girl....FINALLY! Whoot-woot!

I have not had a chance to read for fun as much as I'd like but I have a list of books that I am going to read very soon. Those titles include Home Front, Defending Jacob, Gathering of Waters, and Lone Wolf.  Any one got a book they want to recommend? I know there is some down time calling my name,. As for television, I did catch Oprah's interview with Whitney Houston's family. I am praying for Bobbi Kristina. I really liked Pat and Gary. I thought the interview was okay considering how little time had passed. It was very sad. Time waits for no one. Yet again, another gentle reminder that Life is short, it is not promised, and that God and God alone knows exactly how much time we have here on earth. That being said, it is a beautiful day in the neighborhood. I need to get out and enjoy it. I just wanted to check in. I know this a random post but I am alive and well. I hope you are too. Happy St. Patrick's Day! Have a safe and blessed weekend!

In True Diva Love, 

Pam