Emotions Abound

Two days into the New Year and I am feeling an abundance of emotions. I am prayerful-my life would be empty without my prayer life and the prayers of others. I am reflective-2014 could best be described as a year of change and uncertainty.  I am melancholy-I lost some things that break my heart and changed the dynamics of my life completely. I am faithful-I trust God's plan and will for my life. I am trusting-there were days that I thought I'd lose my mind. God kept me. He sent tremendous blessings my way when I felt I wasn't going to make it through the day.  I can't even begin to tell you how I been provided for in the last few months.  What I can say is to trust God to provide-material needs, peace, joy, and hope in the midst of trials. He will do it!

I am excited-this year will bring its own set of changes-my oldest child is going to graduate from high school and her plan is to attend Culinary School in the Fall. I am hopeful-I am anticipating more change in 2015. I am in extreme need of new employment. I want to be in a better financial position for many reasons. I am disappointed-I know we aren't to put our trust in people but of course, we are human and our lives center  around relationships. I still love people but I can't expect anything from them. Sometimes even a simple phone call is too much. People with significant place of value in my life have hurt me in ways I can't even describe. I am fulfilled-I have some key family and close friends who always have my back-they encourage, challenge, and inspire me.  Those relationships give me energy and confidence. I am blessed-I hate asking for or needing to receive help. I appreciate the two really trusted friends who reminded me that me not asking for help or allowing people to help me denies others the opportunity to bless me. 

I am strong-by God's grace, I don't look like the messed up year that I've had. I am Loved-I have been blown away by some acts of kindness that I have experienced. Little reminders of God's unwavering love have shown up every single day. I know I am worthy and that I am His. For the family and friends who have continued on my journey, they are the best-they pray, they inspire, they encourage, they challenge, they give, they share laughter and tears, and they love on me unconditionally.  I  am thankful-no matter the trial I face, I wake up each day knowing that I am blessed beyond measure. I don't know what each day will hold but I know Who orchestrated each moment.  I can tell you that I really don't know why God trusts me so much but I am glad He loves and keeps giving me more and more chances to get things right.

I could go on but what I really want to convey is this.....2015 is bright with promise. Not one of us is going to get it right every day. Some things will be the direct result of our own personal choices and in other situations, we will be casualties of the decisions of others. Every good, bad, and even ugly experience will teach a lesson. It's all in God's will and He has a purpose for it. Life is the sum of our victories and defeats. Be better, do better-trust God and remain true to who you are. Never let people or the actions of others cause you to be some one you aren't. In 2014, I could have thrown in the towel and hung my head in defeat. I chose not not to. I know I am strong and I know that these moments are just a little blip  in God's timing. I have high hopes, expectations, and dreams  for 2015. It's going to be a great year. No, it's going to be a spectacular year for me. By  God's grace, I am going to achieve great things in the year ahead. Satan and his minions will be defeated as I rise to my full potential and I hope to see that same spirit in every one of you.  Happy New Year to you and yours and may the year ahead be filled with God's best and brightest blessings.