Thursday, September 30, 2010

What About the Church??

Yes there is drama in the church! Lots of it! By now, we are all well aware of the scandal that has rocked Atlanta's mega church New Birth and it's Bishop Eddie Long. Initially I was going to make the blog about his inexcusable behavior. I think my space would be better utilized by me stating how things like this blight the church as a whole. It is not an African American church crisis, it is a church crisis. It is just one of many issues plaguing the church.


As parishioners, we have to be careful not to esteem our church leaders to a place reserved solely for God. Too many times, we place too much emphasis on the church leader as opposed to the church ministry. The church is not the pastor, it is the body. When the pastor stumbles, which he will, because he too, is simply a sinner saved by grace, the work of the church must continue. In Long's case, I believe he needs to sit down until his issues are worked out. He needs to be ministered to and encouraged. Souls still need to be saved, baby Christians still need to be nourished in order for growth, and other successful ministries still need to thrive.


The problem with church leaders falling from a place of grace, is it is really damaging for the testimony of church and the church body as a whole. One, we look like hypocrites. Two, there are folks struggling with their identity in Christ(as well as other areas) and some of the messages that the Bible teaches.  Third, we really don't want to send baby Christians in the wrong direction.

Some of our greatest damaging behavior occurs in the church. The church is not a social club for saved folks, it is supposed to be a hospital for sinners. According to the Word, "All have sinned and fallen short"(Romans 3:23) So we are all sinners in need of God's mercy and grace. So, none of us saved for a really long time folks, have the right to judge those who took a little longer in their journey to get to know Christ. Perfect example, you are in your finest threads, dressed to the nines, church hat cocked to the side and in walks a scruffy looking brother or sister in jeans and t-shirt. How do you react? Do you welcome with open arms? or do you pull your purse closer and act as if there is no room on your row? Heck, I've been dressed real cute and had people who felt entitled to "their seat" not move. What happened to the love? Love is the true basis for the church's existence.

We know lots of folks attend to church because it is simply the right thing to do. They zip in and zip out with no regard for real ministry. Ministry means you are dealing with people and showing them love care and concern to meet a need. Some people only open their Bibles in church. There is a fundamental problem with that. One, how can you test what you are being taught if you don't know what Christ said for yourself. Two, what if your church leader has personal bias on a particular subject. Or maybe their interpretation is off. God told us to search the scriptures for ourselves. (1 John 4:1 or 2 Timothy 2:15)

Oh, I could go on and on about what does and doesn't go on in the church. The church has been relegated to a place of minimal importance in our society. Pastors are exposed for lewd and evil deeds daily. The church isn't dealing with real issues and in many cases has become tolerant and blase about serious moral issues. More and more, the church resembles the world at large. What a sad commentary!

I leave you with this thought. Ezekiel 18:24(CEV) states, "But when good people start sinning and doing disgusting things, will they live? No! All their good deeds will be forgotten, and they will be put to death because of their sins." This passage was quoted by my brother last week in response to the Eddie Long scandal. I loved it! While it certainly applies to any leader, it also applies to us as Christians. We can be doing a ton of good for God but what people remember is the bad stuff. I know the Bible tells us that "only what you do for Christ will last."  Another instance of church view versus world view. People remember the bad stuff, Christ only remembers what we do for Him.

Wouldn't it be something if Christ still smote people? Nothing like an Ananias and Sapphira experience(read it for yourself in Acts 5) to straighten up the on-lookers or other members of the church. If you are a Christian do your friends know it? Can they tell by your lifestyle? Take some time to get your testimony/legacy in order. The church suffers when our walk is suspect. Lord knows we don't need that in light of priests molesting boys, gay marriage and no prayer in schools. Enough really is enough! What do you think? Is the church effective? Would Christ be pleased? Please share! Till next time, be a blessing!

Copyright September 30, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Friday, September 17, 2010

Scapegoats

I am so freaking irritated! Since when did it become acceptable to blame innocent victims for anything? And why is it when anyone does this, they blame an African American person? What makes them randomly blame us? Is it their upbringing? Are they just racist bastards with a hatred for blacks? Honestly I can't answer the question. I just know what I know. A-I am African American. B-it is just certain things we as a culture tend not to do. C-we exhibit enough detrimental behavior which will be disproportionately reported in the news. Like most black people I know, there are times I hear the upcoming news and I think, "Please, Lord, don't  let it be a black person" who did something ridiculously crazy. The thought arises out of our desire to negate the negative thoughts attributed to our race by biased news or other individual's limited or non-exposure to people of color. For years, we have been portrayed as moraless individuals in lierature, television, and the media. Those stereotypes breed fear and instill unconcious bias against te race as a whole. Yes we are a diverse country, but no we are not a color-blind one. America still has a long way to go as far as race goes.

So what has me putting this out here? It is the fact that sometimes I listen to a story on the news and I think something is wrong with that story. It was the thought I had when I hear Bethany Storro's claim that "an African American woman with a ponytail attacked her by throwing acid in her face." I was thinking that that is something we wouldn't do. How many of you know that the African American population in Vancouver is less than five percent?  That makes the story questionable. Almost three weeks later and after a significant outpouring of concern and valuable resources have been wasted, she finally admits that the claim was a hoax. First of all, she is one sick puppy. Who inflicts that kind of pain and damage to get some darn attention?  Hell, prostitution would've given her attention. If you saw her interview, you know God should come down and strike her A$$. During her made up story, she claimed that she had bought sunglasses, something she never does, and by golly, it was God because she had the glasses on thus receieved less damage from the acid. Go figure! Then there is Susan Smith and Ashley Todd who also blamed African Americans for actions they inflicted. I am not giving them any more press, just  using them as example to make my point.

We need to demand that it become more difficult to blame African Americans. There has to be a strong punishment for the person beause it is not okay to assault any specific group of people. We have to also wonder why it is so easy for society to believe the worst of us and that we would commit such heinous crimes. It is easy because the idea of all being created equal has not been totally realized despite how far we've come. America is really afraid to deal with the deep effects of years and years of acceptable and tolerated racist behavior and that is a disservice to future generations. For those of you who think that Barack Obama in the White House is an accomplishment and that we have arrived....It is huge step and it was a long time coming, but it in no way eradicates the indoctrinated racial attitudes which continue to plague our nation. How do you think people like Bethany Storro should be punished?How do we overcome the racial stereotypes? I don't have the answers but you know I always have an opinion. Till next time, I would love to see your comments on this subject. Have a wonderful weekend! Autumn begins in a few days.

Copyright September 17, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Got Jesus? Don't Worry!

We are all stressed or worried about something. It can be the future, the children, our relationships, or money, not to mention any number of things. So how do you deal with your stress. Does it keep you up at night? Do you have ulcers? Is your blood pressure off the chart? Did you know that worry is something that God doesn't want us to do. To validate my assertion, read Matthew 6: 25-34. Verse 26 says, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Note the point, worry adds nothing to your life.

I am a pretty carefree individual. I do ponder the issues of my life quite a bit. I don't allow them to have me walking around sullen, nor do I lose any sleep over them. Oh I don't have any health issues either. I think that irritates my hubby because he is always stressed. It isn't that I don't care, it is just that when things are out of your control, you are wasting valuable time and energy consuming yourself with whatever the problem is. I have a lot of faith that God really knows and understands our circumstances and He will come through in the right time. Sometimes, I believe He takes His time to test our faith. He wants to make sure that we don't let our flesh take over and make us think we handled the issue on our own.

When I was planning my wedding I developed ulcers. I know whole-heartedly that it was because I was stressing about the details of the wedding. I was in serious pain and then I had to take medication. I vowed then that I would never let worry or stress consume me to that point. Life is too short to spend it on trivial things. On our worse day, we are doing better than so many other individuals. I think we take that fact for granted. We live in a material world and honestly we are sheltered from the atrocities of most of the world so we can get bamboozled into believing our problems really are important and we will end up in a catastrophic situation. Part of the reason for that is that we fail to seek Christ and ask Him to meet our daily needs. We might not take a vacation, our spouse may leave, we may have a creditor or two calling our house but we eat daily, we have more than two weeks worth of clothes, cars to drive, and health(or the ability to receive health care).

Next time any of those are your concerns, think about the homeless mother with several children. Think about the family where 10 people are living in a 2 bedroom apartment. Imagine if you only had one pair of shoes, and two outfits. We have choices and opportunity. We have to make the best of them in good times and bad. We can only do what we can do. You can't squeeze blood out of a turnip. I hope the message you are getting is this; Don't worry, be happy! Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." It doesn't get any simpler than that that, especially if you have a small amount of faith! Till next time meditate n being to blessed to be stressed! Peace!

Copyright September 15, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Is Your Past Holding You Back?


A lot of conversations that I have had lately have centered on past relationships and past actions and how those things affect our life choices today. Many of us are haunted by demons of the past and we don't even recognize it. We don't recognize it because we have suppressed things to better cope with or to prevent hurting some one's feelings. What we fail to realize is that eventually suppressing things will hurt us and perhaps even those we love.


I don't have any cut and dry solutions to the problem of one releasing their past hurts and pains. I just realize that we all have some junk in our trunk that affects us daily. I am immensely aware that we need to let those things go to get to the blessing God has prepared for us.  In order to get through or past these things, we may need to have some tough conversations or take a hard look at ourselves in the mirror. I think every person can use a little therapy in their life. I'm just saying....we all have some stuff. Because we are all works in progress, it is pointless to play the blame game. Our parents probably did the best they could to protect and teach us so we could become productive adults.


It is easy for me to say don't let your past hold you back but it isn't necessarily easy for everyone to do. Some of us have trust issues and don't want to discuss our business with another party. African Americans usually seem reluctant to seek help. They often keep things in and I won't even get into some of the family secrets that never really get dealt with. I know some of you won't believe me but there is always a place to go to release your baggage. God is always there to hear your cries. His Word has been given to us to deal with all of life's issues. Did you hear me?  ALL OF LIFE'S ISSUES are dealt with in the HOLY BIBLE.

There are a million self-help books out there and trust me, one of them will say exactly what you want to hear. Is that really going to be helpful for you? I don't think so. Really, this blog is to encourage you to seek help from somewhere. Some of us aren't walking into our God-given destiny because we have not dealt with our past demons. We might be good but we aren't great. Good is the enemy of great! Why settle?!? Get yourself some help-paid, free, professional, or turn to God's map for our lives The Bible. You can get it in a vast multitude of translations meaning no thees and thous. LOL! Seriously though, deal with whatever is haunting you. It will free you and those around you. In Christ, there is liberty. We were meant to be free(ref. Galatians 5:1). Till next time, take the steps necessary to put the past behind and to press forward(ref. Philippians 3:14-15). Be blessed and be a blessing! Peace!

Copyright September 14, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Friday, September 10, 2010

Revisting Why I Write

It has been a little over a year since I started this blog. So I think it is a fitting time to reiterate my reasons for doing so and also to reflect on what I have written. As I reviewed my original "Why Write" post, things haven't changed much in my opinion about why I do what I do. I still write for me and I still want to be transparent. I want to grow and I want to inspire you to grow. I want to challenge and be challenged. I want to exercise my God given gifts and talents. I also write to inspire my children to do and undertake whatever their hearts desire. Chante started a blog because she was inspired by me and her Big Sister/Cousin Toot. You never know how you will impact your child. In light of the post written yesterday, be careful to be a positive influence. Your children and someone else's are watching your every move and action!

I am a major procrastinator. It irks the hell out out my handsome husband. It works for me, not against me, in almost every situation. So of course this should have been written on August 26, 2010. That was the anniversary of my first post. Somehow, that day came and went and it never crossed my mind to review the year's worth of blogs. My blogs have run the gamut, topic wise. I have written about issues that are near and dear to me. I have highlighted current events and issues. I have reflected on legendary people. I have commented on history, parenting, and friendship. I have told you my favorite products and given you my pet peeves too. In short, I have a lot to say and I am not through yet. I have grown in my sharing and been honest. Transparency is still difficult, not because I don't want to be honest but because I don't really want to be judged. Who does?

Let this serve as  reminder to each of you. I am still and always will be a WORK IN PROGRESS.  I am not perfect but I still put my self and my opinions out there. My blogs are not about any of you(SN: neither are my FB statuses) per se. If we have a conversation and the subject matter weighs heavily on my heart, chances are it may become fodder for a blog post. I am never going to put anyone out there. I am going to state my opinion and it may not be politically correct.  You can always chose to read any other of the million other blogs out there. Sometimes, though, we need to come out of our little comfort zones and face the truth or be challenged in a different way. Growth is difficult but alas it is necessary. You can always provide me with an alternative view. I am willing to share my blog with a guest post. I am not writing to stroke egos but I would like my posts to be pleasing to God.Now sometimes, even that simply doesn't happen. I am a sinner saved by God's grace and mercy and sometimes flesh takes over. Note that that was a disclaimer. ;)

Finally, I really want to thank my loyal readers, especially those who offer comments both public and personal. The dialogue has been great! I am always left with something to think/pray about but more importantly, I am encouraged by each of your honesty and encouragement. If you told a friend to subscribe or check me out, I am eternally grateful. Strangers will tell you things your friends won't. For those of you who have spoken positively into my life and encourage me to keep writing, I am very appreciative. I am trying to work on God's timeline for a change so my book is still not ready to be birthed. Apparently, God still needs to prepare me in some way. Ruh-oh, it might be scary. I think I can handle it, but you never know.

So welcome to a new year with Miss Read! I will continue to be blunt, honest, and transparent. I will continue to address whatever I deem necessary. I hope you find it a thrill to keep up with me as I work through my issues and maybe yours too! That is why I write-to free my mind and yours and host of other reasons already listed in this and the previous post. Till next time, be a vessel God can use! Ciao!

Copyright September 10, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Is That Really What You Wanna Teach Your Baby???

Have you ever thought about what type of message that you silently send to your offspring? I mean really thought about it? Some lessons are in your face but others are learned subtly. I have been having this precise discussion for several weeks with various people. I am concerned as well as convicted. Our children learn from everything they see. So parents, and friends, be careful what you model.


Single mothers, don't put your man before your friends. Seriously, sex might be all that and a bag of chips but do you really want your child to feel devalued? Do you want them to accept that you aren't there for them because you are with Mr. Right Now? I don't think so! Countless girls go running into the arms of some young boy who is wrought with testosterone only to end up pregnant. We won't even discuss the girls who end up in the arms of a pimp. Yes, it happens all because a young lady needs to be loved and accepted or needs someone to be there for them. Another scenario, single mom is a booty call for her baby's daddy. He pays no support but creeps in and out of the house whenever he feels like it. It is a well known fact that he has a girlfriend. Eventually your kid sees that you are a doormat for him. Does that lead to respect for mom or women? What if single mom and the girlfriend both end up pregnant at the same time? See where I'm going?


Spouses make concessions all the time for each other and that is a good thing. Problems arise for me when one spouse goes overboard to make concessions for their spouse. SN: not judging, just looking at the message sent to your kids. If the wife always does things to make life convenient for her husband but he never reciprocates, what message is sent to her young children?  Example, mommy is at work when the kids get home from school, hubby is home but homework waits for mom who also has to cook dinner. Do we want our children not to think that men don't have to assist mom?


If you are a habitual liar, chances are your kids will be too. Children model the behaviors they are taught. If you are married and cheating on your spouse, do you really think that your teen aged children really believe that you going out with a friend multiple times in a week means that you aren't cheating on their other parent? Wake up, people. If you are racist, your children probably won't embrace diversity either. So many things to point out but these are the ones that come to mind.


Christians, you are also guilty. You teach your children to love God and obey His Word. So how are you when traffic is bad and someone cuts you off? Does road rage rear its ugly head or do you move forward peacefully? Do you return the extra change given to you by the cashier? As Christians, we fail to send the right messages too. Of course, we are all guilty because we are all sinners. Christians are always going to be held to a higher level of accountability.


What I am really trying to say is that so often we do things and we fail to even consider the subtle message that we send our offspring. We operate from our emotions and never realize the impact of our actions. Most of us have good sense. We know the difference between right and wrong. Just remember, that children are sponges, they soak up everything. I mean everything! The good, bad, and not so cute! They are our future and we want them to be the best that they can be. We can only provide them the tools and basis to become adults with integrity who will eventually model successful behavior to the next generation. Actions really do speak louder than words. I tell my children all the time, "I can show you better than I can tell you!" That really holds true in many instances. So let this blog cause you to examine your actions, then be encourage to change them. Baby steps will eventually lead to huge strides. I will praying for you as we make our transition to reflect good behavior, attitudes, and actions. Our children are our future and the sacrifices we make for at least eighteen years are really short when you look at a lifetime. So, what is your legacy? What do you wanna teach your children?

Copyright Sept 9, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Monday, September 6, 2010

Organic Choices

This is really random....How many of you try to eat organic food products? What is your reasoning behind doing so? Do you really believe that organic products are best? In case you were wondering some foods contain more pesticides than others. Here is a list to help you out. If you are going to purchase any foods, the following list are the items that you should purchase: celery, peaches, strawberries, apples, domestic blueberries, nectarines, sweet bell peppers, spinach, cherries, kale/collard greens, potatoes, and imported grapes. Have you noticed anything about the items? The rule is this, if you are going to purchase organic, it should be the products where you eat the skin. You want to limit the intake of the pesticides you take into your body. It is a temple, you know! Just wanted to help you out and maybe save you some money! Enjoy!

Copyright September 6, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Whose Child Are You?

We all belong to someone. The blood of our ancestors flows through each of us. Sometimes the legacy is filled with pivotal historic moments and sometimes there is a legacy of pain an hurt. Do you ever look at your children and wonder if the hospital made a mistake and gave you the wrong child to take home, nurture, and bless? When my children act like Satan has possessed them as they often do, I really begin to wonder if I am parenting the right child. Now if you know me and have seen my children, you know that there is ABSOLUTELY no denying that they are mine. They really are miniature versions of my husband and myself.

Chante is on the threshold of becoming a teenager. She is gregarious, funny, clumsy, and moody. I assume she is a typical girl. She is passionate about what she believes in and stubborn as her dad, a mule. When she gets something in her head, you can't really change her mind. Sometimes, I love her determination and others, I want to knock her out because she will not bend. I prayed for both children while in the womb and have done so all their lives. Chante accepted Christ when she was a young 4 years old.It thrilled and scared me at the same time. She loves Christ and is confident that she belongs to Him. Like all sinners saved by grace, she has moments where her actions do not reflect her earthly or heavenly parentage. SN: DJ has his moments of satanic behavior as well, unlike Chante however, he doesn't have a defiant posture or stubborn will. This is the reason Chante is often used in my writings. Just needed to clarify that. LOL! When she is acting ugly, I have to say to her, "do you really think this offensive behavior would be pleasing to God?" Oh my! You should see the indignant look she gives me. Like how could I really bring Jesus into this equation? It is hysterically funny to me but to see the light go on in her head is always priceless.

How often are we all like Chante? Every single day. As a child of God, I hate to admit that my actions, words, and thoughts often don't line up with My Father's will for me or my life. I bet God the Father often wonders whose children are we. I mean we have have professed to be His but we treat others poorly and don't often have regard for the feelings of others. We don't always speak the truth in love nor do we forgive transgressions.

Yesterday, I received a profound revelation and a gentle reminder that we are to do everything as pleasing to Christ(ref. I Corinthians 10:31 and II Corinthians 5:9). We are all products of our environment and parentage but those of us who have accepted Christ have new parentage. Of course, that comes with a responsibility. We are to reflect the love of Christ in ALL we do. We are held to a standard of accountability. We need to forgive quickly and encourage others but most importantly we need to share the love of Christ so that others might receive new parenting and be released from the sins and hurts of the past. So whose child are you?

Yes, I am the child of Ernestine and Gerald but more importantly, I am a child of God. Everything I do, say, and think is to be done in the spirit of my heavenly parenting, not my earthly ones. It is a difficult undertaking and like Chante, I am often guilty of acting like God is not my Father. Thank goodness for second chances. God gives us the ability to be forgiven over and over again. I am so glad about that because I fail often. I know you do too. If you aren't a child of God, you should really think about your eternal future. The church is not a social club, it is a hospital for sinners. The gift of eternity is freely given to all who want it. Hell is hot and as we can all attest, the dog days of summer are rather unbearable.  Imagine life  spent in even worse heat. I'm just saying. Whomever you belong to, you reflect their values. Ultimately the choice is yours. I hope you have a wonderful day. I didn't start the blog to be preachy but I guess this is the message God wanted me to write. So I have to be obedient. After all, I am His child and have been since October, 1985. Ciao!

Copyright September 1, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe