Have you ever thought about what type of message that you silently send to your offspring? I mean really thought about it? Some lessons are in your face but others are learned subtly. I have been having this precise discussion for several weeks with various people. I am concerned as well as convicted. Our children learn from everything they see. So parents, and friends, be careful what you model.
Single mothers, don't put your man before your friends. Seriously, sex might be all that and a bag of chips but do you really want your child to feel devalued? Do you want them to accept that you aren't there for them because you are with Mr. Right Now? I don't think so! Countless girls go running into the arms of some young boy who is wrought with testosterone only to end up pregnant. We won't even discuss the girls who end up in the arms of a pimp. Yes, it happens all because a young lady needs to be loved and accepted or needs someone to be there for them. Another scenario, single mom is a booty call for her baby's daddy. He pays no support but creeps in and out of the house whenever he feels like it. It is a well known fact that he has a girlfriend. Eventually your kid sees that you are a doormat for him. Does that lead to respect for mom or women? What if single mom and the girlfriend both end up pregnant at the same time? See where I'm going?
Spouses make concessions all the time for each other and that is a good thing. Problems arise for me when one spouse goes overboard to make concessions for their spouse. SN: not judging, just looking at the message sent to your kids. If the wife always does things to make life convenient for her husband but he never reciprocates, what message is sent to her young children? Example, mommy is at work when the kids get home from school, hubby is home but homework waits for mom who also has to cook dinner. Do we want our children not to think that men don't have to assist mom?
If you are a habitual liar, chances are your kids will be too. Children model the behaviors they are taught. If you are married and cheating on your spouse, do you really think that your teen aged children really believe that you going out with a friend multiple times in a week means that you aren't cheating on their other parent? Wake up, people. If you are racist, your children probably won't embrace diversity either. So many things to point out but these are the ones that come to mind.
Christians, you are also guilty. You teach your children to love God and obey His Word. So how are you when traffic is bad and someone cuts you off? Does road rage rear its ugly head or do you move forward peacefully? Do you return the extra change given to you by the cashier? As Christians, we fail to send the right messages too. Of course, we are all guilty because we are all sinners. Christians are always going to be held to a higher level of accountability.
What I am really trying to say is that so often we do things and we fail to even consider the subtle message that we send our offspring. We operate from our emotions and never realize the impact of our actions. Most of us have good sense. We know the difference between right and wrong. Just remember, that children are sponges, they soak up everything. I mean everything! The good, bad, and not so cute! They are our future and we want them to be the best that they can be. We can only provide them the tools and basis to become adults with integrity who will eventually model successful behavior to the next generation. Actions really do speak louder than words. I tell my children all the time, "I can show you better than I can tell you!" That really holds true in many instances. So let this blog cause you to examine your actions, then be encourage to change them. Baby steps will eventually lead to huge strides. I will praying for you as we make our transition to reflect good behavior, attitudes, and actions. Our children are our future and the sacrifices we make for at least eighteen years are really short when you look at a lifetime. So, what is your legacy? What do you wanna teach your children?
Copyright Sept 9, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
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Well, all I can say is that I fall into some of those. I love God, there is NO doubt about that but yep, I want my kids to love Him, I tell them all the time, they go to church, I want them to do right and then I sometimes do things to contradict what my words say. Its all in the actions. I try to be more aware of it but yes, I slip, I fall. I want them to learn fom my example. And lately my attitude has been not so good. I'm working on that though, I am. I want to teach my children to give of themselves, not be selfish, love God first and foremost and put Him before anyone woman or man on this earth.
ReplyDeleteLove the post!