The MLK, Jr. Memorial

Today (the 48th anniversary of the very famous, "I Have A Dream" speech) was supposed to be the dedication of the Martin Luther King, Jr. National Memorial. Unfortunately, due to Hurricane Irene, those festivities will be rescheduled for a future time. The MLK Memorial opened to the public on August 22, 2011 in Washington, D.C. The location of the Memorial is southwest of the National Mall near the Roosevelt Memorial and the scenic Tidal Basin. The official address is 1964 Independence Ave. SW to commemorate the year other Civil Rights Act of 1964 was signed into legislation. MLK, JR. is one of only four non-presidents to receive such an honor near the National Mall.

The Memorial was a direct result of the efforts of King's own fraternity, Alpha Phi Alpha, Inc. for leading a 25 year campaign to have the Memorial erected. They are largely responsible for leading the efforts to raise the $120 million dollars to fund the project. Construction began in December, 2009 and the press was given a first look a year later. The Memorial consists of  a 30 foot high "Stone of Hope" which is an actual replica of Dr. King himself, who appears to be looking out over the Tidal Basin at the Jefferson Memorial. It is fitting to note that the cherry blossoms will be in full bloom during the anniversary of King's death. The "Stone of Hope" stands just past two other granite pieces which symbolize, "the mountain of despair." King's speech included the line: "Out of a mountain of despair, a stone of hope."  As a visitor, one would have to pass through" the mountain of despair" to get to the "stone of hope," a symbolic reference to King's struggle throughout his life. In addition to these, there is a 450 foot inscription wall which includes excerpts from King's sermons and speeches delivered between 1955 when the Montgomery Bus Boycott occurred and his final "I Have A Dream" speech in 1968, delivered four days before his assassination.

The space was envisioned as a quiet peaceful place and will include 24 niches along the upper walkway to also commemorate the contributions of others who gave their lives to the civil rights movement. Some have been left blank and incomplete so that as other individuals are honored, they can be added. It will enhance a visitor's ability to reflect on the great contributions and legacy of Dr. King. Of course the hope and intent is that a the memorial will be a public sanctuary that can be enjoy by future generations  regardless of race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender.

While the celebrity studded festivities had to be cancelled and many were very disappointed, it is important to note that the monument is open. It took 25 years of fundraising and fighting but it came to fruition.  I can't wait to visit with my children. I am sure we will be moved and touched by the sheer magnitude of the memorial. More importantly, it will give us an opportunity to reflect on Dr. King's contribution to our current lifestyle and how far we have come in such a short period of time. We do still have a long way to go as far as race relations are concerned(and you can't argue with me on that point because I lived in southern Georgia so I know from personal experience).  It will also give me yet another opportunity to instill in them a deeper sense of duty to be a responsible and conscientious citizen who champions freedom and democracy. So my friends, if you are in the DC area, go visit. If you aren't, put it on your list of things to see when you visit the area. Whether you embraced Dr. King and his philosophies or not, you have been impacted by his dream to see the civil right of ALL individuals realized.

Copyright August, 28, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Earthquakes and Hurricanes, Oh My!!!

Completely Random-I survived an earthquake!!! By now everyone should know that there was an earthquake on Tuesday that originated in Mineral, VA a mere 67 miles away from me. Yes, I felt it. It measured 5.9 on the Richter Scale.  I was at work. Can you imagine the looks on the faces of two year old children who had just awakened from a good nap. PRICELESS! There were several aftershocks which I have not felt. The most recent one occurred last night at 1:07 AM. It measured 4.1 but I slept through that. No damage was sustained and all my loved ones are okay. God is good. I understand both of my children were quite rattled. I only wish I had been home to console and reassure them.

As of this moment, we are watching the path of Hurricane Irene. I feel bad because I have several friends who are vacationing in the Outer Banks and are having to evacuate their little piece of heaven to avoid the potential danger of the storms, which as of this morning had winds of up to 135 MPH. We have already begun to get the rain. All of these natural occurrences should make you believe there is a God. He is in control. We can't prepare for any earthquake and we never know which way a hurricane will blow.

Life is short. Love your family and hold them close(yes, even when they get on your nerves). Tell them you love them as often as possible. Have a plan for any disasters. The worst thing that can happen is not knowing that those you love are okay and safe. Cell phones will fail and so will land lines as the earthquake proved. You may not have access to the Internet but you do need to know your peeps are safe. So develop a plan that takes these thing into consideration. Heed my advice, we are seeing more and more natural disasters than ever before so we can't say what we will or won't experience. Peace!

Copyright August 25, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Diva Digression

Yes, this something new. I am calling it "Diva Digression."  This will be the forum I use to vent. I will try to keep these to a minimum but hey, sometimes life hands you lemons and not only do you make lemonade but you might have to pour it in a glass and throw it in some one's face. I hope you like my choice of titles.

Today's rant is on double-minded individuals. The one that has caused this angst is my boss. The reader's Digest short version is this. She is a marketer, not an administrator and therefore my place of work is always in a state of confusion and chaos. She chooses to please her vocal parents and undervalues her dedicated employees. I work at a Montessori school, which I will leave nameless, since I don't know who reads my blog. New employees are thrown into the mix with little or no training and left to learn the ropes on their own or from older employees who had to do the same thing.My boss's gift is doing the opposite of what her employees request or need.

Case and point, my co-worker changed her schedule for the summer with the expectation that she'd return to her old schedule in the Fall. Well her old schedule has been given to the boss's daughter(yes, nepotism is alive and well in America) and she is being forced to reduce her hours and work a different shift. I went in to interview for an office position and was given a position working in the classroom with children. Another employee wanted to work in the classroom and is working in the office. I was always clear that I wanted a part-time schedule between 9:30 AM and 4 PM. I worked Full-time all summer and now I am being told that my request may not be able to be accommodated. In June, I was promised and assured that I would be able to work those hours in the fall.

So what is a girl to do? I am irritated to say the least. Hence this blog. I could go on and on about how poorly things are managed at work but I will not. I need to pursue my passion. My aunt Dorothy will call me and tell me, "Girl, you know you need to write that book so you can become independently wealthy. You know you don't like that job(or them nasty kids) anyway."  Well she is honest and on point. So I am requesting your prayers and encouragement, life is too short to sweat the small stuff. Pray that God will put the exact book on my heart and it will flow out of me. I know I can't write a book unless that happens. When I write a blog, it usually flows out of me with little or no editing. The exception are blogs of a sensitive nature. They too flow but I do revise them so as not to alienate anyone. If that is not His will at this time, I am okay with that. I do need Him to open a door for me though because I have gotten used to the money. Till the next time that I need to digress...Peace and blessings to each of you. Oh and tell a friend to check the blog out! Ciao!!

Copyright August 25, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

The Help

On last Sunday, I went to see the highly controversial film, THE HELP, with my cousin and my BFF. If you recall, it was one of my favorite books last summer. So you know I was anxious to view the film and see whether it adhered to the book. The film met my lofty expectations and I daresay that I enjoyed it as much as the book. It was one of the best adaptations that I've seen in a long time. Whenever I see a racially charged movie and I don't feel like I need to avoid Caucasians so I won't fight them, the movie is done well. I didn't leave the film with any hatred so that is a good thing. For those of you who read me but don't know me, Yes! I have a large contingent of Caucasian girlfriends and several of them are very close friends.

I am guessing that several of the actresses will be nominated for awards. I have to say that my favorite performances were given by Octavia Spencer and Sissy Spacek. They brought their characters to life in a real and inspiring way. Viola Davis does a phenomenal job as Abilene and she too deserves an award. I am wary of the folks who nominate for the Oscars, so I suspect she may be dissed. It was hard not to love most of the women but I felt no love for the Hilly character. Bryce Dallas Howard did an excellent job as the racist socialite trying to bully all her friends into submitting to her negative ways.

As is the norm, the film did leave out some things that the book covered. One of the things that I think was missing was the depth of Abilene's pain over losing her son. I felt it more deeply when I read the novel and my heart ached for her. I am very glad that very little coverage of   Minnie's husband and his abusive ways were left out of the story. I think it was a very intelligent move on the scriptwriter's part. Can you imagine if they had put an African American man on the screen beating his woman?  All hell would break loose. Just look at the flack that Tyler Perry receives for his portrayal of men in his films and he is African American. The move was intelligent so that that could not be the thing focused on once the film was viewed publicly. Another thing that was downplayed in the film was just how much control and power that Hilly had over her contemporaries. I also think that Elizabeth Leefolt, Abilene's employer, was not quite portrayed as the social climber that she was in the book.

After talking to Dorna, she indicated that she didn't think the original question was answered. "How did you feel raising white folks children and having to neglect (for lack of a better word) your own?" There is no real answer to that, is there? Who would actually say,"Yea, I really enjoyed taking care of these children who will eventually become my boss and treat me like crap while I left my own kids to fend for themselves." The real answer lies in the fact that African American women have and had been doing it for years. There was little choice in the matter if they wanted to be able to make any money. Of course we all know that this whole phenomena originated with slavery.  I refuse to give any press to that whole bogus institution that oppressed a whole race of people with the notion that it was biblically based.

While I enjoyed the film and the book, I am very aware of race and race issues. Always have been and probably always will be. America has so far to go in really coming to terms with race. I would love to see a day when we don't have to wonder if there is a racial undertone or connotation to what is going on. The role of race does NOT diminish because I have Caucasian friends. I am still an African American woman whose life experiences have been shaped by race, politics and economics. My experiences are not profound nor do I think they are unique.

If you talked to my grandmother, she would have something completely different to say. She did work for Caucasian people. I don't think she was mistreated but she never let the people she worked for know her business. She was afraid for them to know what she had(2 homes, 2 cars, money in the bank, etc) and that she didn't need their handouts. It is funny to me now but it was irritating when I was younger. I am sure it pissed my mom and her sisters off too. I guess she knew something we might not have been privy to. I am sure she would have hated seeing The Help, too. I guess something about being a part of that history does not allow you to relax about the hurt and pain from that period of time. My grandmother is 97 years old.

Now, with all that being said and me not giving anything away, I hope you will see the film and read the book. Let me know what you think of both. Let me know what you think of this blog. I am always going to keep it real. Sometimes the truth is hard to digest. Remember, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important."(Abilene~The Help)

Copyright August 22, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Diva Dialogue-August, 2011

We had an awesome time on the Carnival Dream! the people we met, the ports we visited were beautiful. St. Thomas remains my favorite place. And no, I was not the recipient of a lovely piece of jewelry.  You know the deals there are fantastic! Liquor deals are the best there too! LOL!I am sufficiently tan and returned relaxed. The FUNship was full of folks-about 800 children and a total of about 3500 passengers in all, with a staff of about 1300. Can you believe that-a small city floating in the ocean! Okay so it wasn't my first cruise. Some things had changed but not necessarily for the better. My chief complaints would be that the quality of food had declined some. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't memorable. Our best meal was had at the Steakhouse for which we had to pay an additional surcharge.I confess, we are foodies.  My other complaint would be that the staff was not as friendly as my first cruise. They were not rude just really subdued. Anyhoo, if I choose to cruise again, I would like to try a different cruise line. I am thinking Norwegian, no dress codes and no assigned meal times. Next year we are going to an all inclusive resort somewhere. My mind is already drifting to the possibilities! Can you tell that I live for vacations? LOL!

When you vacation is over, it is over! Going back to work is a serious reality check, no matter how much fun your vacation was or how relaxed you got. I returned to work with no shortage of stories of exactly how much drama occurred. Let's just say that after a week and a half, I am already trying to figure out when I can schedule a few days off. BTW, before I returned to work, we took in 2 films. We saw Transformers and Harry Potter 7. I wasn't feeling the Transformers. In fact, it down right bored me.  I loved the final installment of HP7. JK Rowling should be very pleased. As a fan, I felt the movie held to the story. It was an excellent adaptation and a fitting end to a great coming of age story. On Wednesday, The Help comes out. It is highly anticipated by most everyone who has read the book. I am looking forward to seeing it with my girls.

Last week, my son went a way to Boy Scout camp. It was his first time away from home with no family. I was excited for this milestone in his life. He was fearfully excited. Boy, was my house quiet. I missed his unexpected hugs and random history facts. His sister missed picking on him. I did use the week to bond with my daughter. She went to work with me everyday. She realized why I come home frustrated too. She fell in love with the babies and by the end of the week had kicked me and my 2 year olds to the curb. My son returned home, dirty and smelly. He had a great week of hiking, archery, and learning to load and shoot a BB gum. He informed that they "made me eat healthy everyday."  When asked if he'd do it again, his reply was that he would but he'd need at least six months to adjust to being back at home. I, of course, burst out laughing. You have to know that my son is most content when everyone is under one roof and preferably all in the same room.

Okay, work is getting in the way of my real life. I am praying for some changes, big and small, to take place sooner, rather than later. I haven't had much energy to blog. I haven't completed a blog on meanness. It is necessary and I will finish it soon. Not only have I not been blogging but I haven't done a great deal of reading either. Both of which tend to keep me sane. For now my stress relief is in the form of Angry Birds, Words With Friends, and my newly discovered game, Hanging With Friends. Honestly, today is the first time I have gotten on my computer since my vacation other than to pay bills. I play all the games on my Ipod. All that said, please lift me in your prayers. I am praying about work, the provision of a reasonably priced vehicle, and for some other issues that I have entrusted to the Lord. I am not stressed just feeling off about a few things. So till next time I feel like logging on to my computer long enough to type, remember that I appreciate you all. I am in a strange place of reflection but not feeling the need to share. Another reason for the limited amount of blogs. Hopefully the writer's block will go away and I will get back to my place of normal. Ciao!!!

Copyright on August 7, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

The Silence of a Break-up (Dorna's opinion)

It has been a while since I have posted a guest blog. Dorna had something on her mind that she wanted to share. See, not only am I negligent about my own posting but also those of my friends.  Feel free to comment and let us know if you agree or disagree or simply have another take on the situation.

When you enter into a relationship, you don’t do so with the thought of breaking up.  The beginning is so filled with promise; all singing bluebirds, flowers and starry eyes!!  How can you think of a relationship ending when everyone is on their best behavior…working to impress each other…lustful potential in the air!  Basically, hormones are generally running the show and they have no idea what a breakup means.

So, people sail blissfully down Rio Relationship, hands trailing in the swell of emotion in seemingly calm water.  They begin to share in guarded communication, which becomes more open about seemingly everything!  Trust begins to forge, the giddiness is overwhelming!!  They become convinced that the next step absolutely has to happen…and sex happens!!

Now the act has been committed and you find there are some things that weren’t shared or shown or overlooked.  Like the need for attention and communication for her and the need to be private and taciturn for him.  Both people started out filling these needs because they were in the impression stage, but now the true natures are beginning to emerge.  Shifting on both parts occur, but it gets harder to fulfill or accept the other one’s needs.

Communication becomes more strained and less frequent.  Conjecture and assumptions become the norm and lead to hurt or angry feelings.  Both parties know something is wrong, but won’t admit it and only skirt the issue.  They both keep down a path they know is not good but to truly communicate about it is not going to happen.  The silences become more frequent and longer until one day there is nothing but silence!! 

 “What the hell? Is he really not going to call me?” “It’s been two weeks and I haven’t heard from her…hmmm!”   “Oh, I wish I would call his ass, I haven’t done anything to him!!”  “She must be really pissed…she’ll get over it.”  These dialogues continue until months have passed and still…silence!! The silence doesn’t give closure or answers…it just is!! The breakup has come and no one knew it would look so abrupt…so confusing…so LOUDLY QUIET!!  And one question screaming in the silence…What happened?

Copyright July 13, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Bon Voyage!!!

Today, my vacation officially began at 5:07 P.M. Yea me! And yes, I am doing a happy dance. I am so in need of the time AWAY from my place of employment. I also need the time to connect with my family. Did I say how excited I was to be off work? On a side note, upon my return from this wonderful vacation, I am purposing to seek new employment and to get serious about my weight loss.

I know I have been real selfish with my blogging of late. I forgot how hard it is to cram so much into an already jammed day. Work gets in the way of fun! LOL! Can you tell that I was meant to be independently wealthy? Ahh but I digress! I don't have writer's block. I am irritable so I know I need to be blogging and working my issues out on you. I really do always have a lot of things on my mind. So hopefully, I will be a better steward of my time and get back on my grind. For now, I am off to see the wizard. Just kidding! I am off to bond with my family and we are going to enjoy Charleston, SC, Port Canaveral, FL, and Savannah, GA. We will be cruising to Nassau, Bahamas, St. Thomas(my absolute favorite place), and St. Marteen. If you really know me, please remember to wish DJ a "Happy Birthday!!" tomorrow! He will become a double digit midget. Can't believe he will be 10 already! Of course I will give you all a full report upon my return. I will also post a blog on why people have become so mean and whatever else I deem necessary to discuss.

So good bye for now. I will be back soon. I will miss you all. Be safe! Be blessed and most of all be a blessing!!!

Copyright July 13, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe