Ever been a group where one person's temperament or lack of people skills can spiral a group out of control? Isn't it one of the most annoying things ever? It is and it is also destructive. Sometimes people lack tact, empathy, or candor. You can handle those things, but when one person can tantrum and disrupt the groove or nature of the group, what do you do? How do you deal with it?
I am annoyed by grown folks who have childish behavior issues. I am even more annoyed when these people wreak havoc on a group and there is no accountibility. We all know someone who skates through all their Satanic behavior without so much as a second glance. It is even worse when the person is a so called Christian who loves God. It always makes me wonder how long have they subtly worked their own agenda and hurt other folks in the process. FYI-I am working on a blog about the church and the shenanigans that occur there.
As women, we are involved in various groups or organizations at some time or another and we meet and deal with all types of personalities because of it. I've witnessed many disguised Christians damage other Christians in order to serve their own needs and desires, I've also met non-Christians who fit this bill. We do have a responsibility to check the individual in a firm but fair way. We also have to do it in a spirit of love. It is worse to let them continue on in their own self serving manner. If you check them, and their heart really was in the right place, you should be able to move forward peacefully. If not, you know the deal. They were exactly who you saw act out.....a self serving narcissistic individual that needs to be stepped up on your prayer list.
Copyright September 29, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Random Stuff #2 about Miss Read
Okay, so I think it is time to lighten things up a bit. Here's another opportunity to get to know me better. Hopefully, I won't scare you off.
I don't trust men who wear white shoes or who carry bitch bags(AKA man purses). Blame it on my Mama!
I collect shot glasses(the prettier the better). I love them but I have a watch fetish, a journal fetish, and a picture frame fetish. Each of those things bring a smile to my face.
I don't like liver, beets, eggplant, or mussels.
My two favorite words of late are Bitchassness and Fuckery. Bitchassness is really not cute in anyone but it really isn't cute in men. Fuckery, well, I just like that word.
I love a good pedicure. Cute toes will pick you up on a bady day. A manicure, for me, not so much.
I like to color to destress. Something about the simplicity of that is so therapeutic. My kids think that is so funny. BTW-the more crayon colors to choose from, the better.
My definition of EGO is Easing God Out. If you have to much ego, you don't leave a lot of room for God to work in your life.
I know being passionate about someone is not the same as being in love with someone.
I also know that no matter how good a mother is, she is not a substitute for a father. A boy needs a strong male presence in his life and so does a girl. It will make such a difference in the way relationships are handled and life choices are made.
So what do you think? If I gave you a quiz, would you know me? I am not sure but I am simply complex, like most individuals. Keep reading folks, I love you all. Have a wonderful weekend.
Copyright September 25, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
I don't trust men who wear white shoes or who carry bitch bags(AKA man purses). Blame it on my Mama!
I collect shot glasses(the prettier the better). I love them but I have a watch fetish, a journal fetish, and a picture frame fetish. Each of those things bring a smile to my face.
I don't like liver, beets, eggplant, or mussels.
My two favorite words of late are Bitchassness and Fuckery. Bitchassness is really not cute in anyone but it really isn't cute in men. Fuckery, well, I just like that word.
I love a good pedicure. Cute toes will pick you up on a bady day. A manicure, for me, not so much.
I like to color to destress. Something about the simplicity of that is so therapeutic. My kids think that is so funny. BTW-the more crayon colors to choose from, the better.
My definition of EGO is Easing God Out. If you have to much ego, you don't leave a lot of room for God to work in your life.
I know being passionate about someone is not the same as being in love with someone.
I also know that no matter how good a mother is, she is not a substitute for a father. A boy needs a strong male presence in his life and so does a girl. It will make such a difference in the way relationships are handled and life choices are made.
So what do you think? If I gave you a quiz, would you know me? I am not sure but I am simply complex, like most individuals. Keep reading folks, I love you all. Have a wonderful weekend.
Copyright September 25, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Release
What do we do with our grief and sorrow?
How do we handle that pain?
Though it ain't easy,
We have to let go,
And give to the One who can bear all things
And strengthen us once again.
Copyright September 23, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
How do we handle that pain?
Though it ain't easy,
We have to let go,
And give to the One who can bear all things
And strengthen us once again.
Copyright September 23, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
How Connected Are You?
We all know what it means to be plugged in. So tell me, how connected are you? I thought about this after my darling hubby presented me with a new cell phone. I had gone without one for almost two years and frankly, after two weeks of adjustment, I was in heaven. No interruptions when I was shopping, or browsing in a card or bookstore, or dining with friends. Most everyone is addicted to their Crackberry and never fail to extol the virtues of all that it does for them. They've gone application crazy. :)
I know my not having a phone drove my friends crazy. Every blue moon I thought about a possible emergency that I'd be missing because I was out and had not told anyone my wherabouts. Guess what, there were really only three times, I was like "darn, a cell phone sure would be nice right now!" For the most part, if I was out with others, someone, no, everyone had a phone available for my use.
What about Facebook? How many of your "friends" do you not know? Are you Tweeting? Do you have a MySpace account? Are you LinkedIn? Have you been Tagged? Everyday some new site pops up to connect you to your past and your present, maybe even your future. Like Reality TV, we can now glimpse someone else's life and perhaps feel better about our own. As technology advances, we are continually allowed to connect with others through various mediums but are we really connected? Do we really know them and what they are going through? We are fostering relationships without relating in person. We can take a whole semester of learning without meeting our classmates or professor. My personal favorite, right now, is grocery shopping on-line. If you've ever taken your kids to the grocery store with you, you will love this discovery. You can even go to church by watching TV or tuning in to Streaming Faith.
We need contact, physical contact, with others, to survive and thrive. Cell phones, social networking, and Skype all serve a purpose but they are not substitutes for building and maintaining relationships of substance. Sometimes, we need up front and personal contact. We need to see(or hear) someone to know that they are in fact, doing okay. Don't let your reliance on these gadgets keep you from real relationship building. Sometimes your friends need to be convicted and challenged. You can't do that if you don't see them drop the pretense and phoniness allowed by hiding behind the computer. We are our brother's keeper. We need to be plugged in. More importantly, we need to be connected...but we need the right connections.
Copyright September 23, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
I know my not having a phone drove my friends crazy. Every blue moon I thought about a possible emergency that I'd be missing because I was out and had not told anyone my wherabouts. Guess what, there were really only three times, I was like "darn, a cell phone sure would be nice right now!" For the most part, if I was out with others, someone, no, everyone had a phone available for my use.
What about Facebook? How many of your "friends" do you not know? Are you Tweeting? Do you have a MySpace account? Are you LinkedIn? Have you been Tagged? Everyday some new site pops up to connect you to your past and your present, maybe even your future. Like Reality TV, we can now glimpse someone else's life and perhaps feel better about our own. As technology advances, we are continually allowed to connect with others through various mediums but are we really connected? Do we really know them and what they are going through? We are fostering relationships without relating in person. We can take a whole semester of learning without meeting our classmates or professor. My personal favorite, right now, is grocery shopping on-line. If you've ever taken your kids to the grocery store with you, you will love this discovery. You can even go to church by watching TV or tuning in to Streaming Faith.
We need contact, physical contact, with others, to survive and thrive. Cell phones, social networking, and Skype all serve a purpose but they are not substitutes for building and maintaining relationships of substance. Sometimes, we need up front and personal contact. We need to see(or hear) someone to know that they are in fact, doing okay. Don't let your reliance on these gadgets keep you from real relationship building. Sometimes your friends need to be convicted and challenged. You can't do that if you don't see them drop the pretense and phoniness allowed by hiding behind the computer. We are our brother's keeper. We need to be plugged in. More importantly, we need to be connected...but we need the right connections.
Copyright September 23, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Friday, September 18, 2009
A Beautiful Wedding Does not a Beautiful Marriage Make
Every little girl dreams, at some time, of her wedding day. Little girls are filled with the dreams of riding off into the sunset with their Prince Charming or Knight in Shining Armor. We plan that day long before we have someone to plan it with. We dream of an elaborate celebration where we are the cutest bride ever in the most fabulous dress. Our friends, indulge our fantasies. Shoot, they're stuck in their own. My friend, Mina is really the catalyst for this blog, she once said, "Everyone asks you about your wedding plans but no one tells you about being married."
Mina is right. There are things that folksconveniently forget to tell you. Marriage isn't easy and the road ain't always smooth. The key is finding someone you enjoy enough to go down it with you. You can't change a person and they can't make you a better person. If you have been abused prior to marriage, chances are extremely high that you will be abused again. If you were cheated on once, chances are you will be cheated on again. If he/she is doesn't pick up after themselves, they probably won't after the wedding either. If they drink excessively, they probably still will.
Having been married for 13 years now, I can say that finances have to be the #1 reason folks argue, break up and divorce. Merging and managing money is not easy. If I can give any advice, try to resolve this issue early on and be honest about it. Don't let money ruin a good relationship. Communicate your fears and your shortcomings. Get godly counsel on the matter.
As a matter of fact, don't marry without extremely sound godly marital counseling. Let me repeat my self: GET PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING!! A neutral third party is good to get you both to explore all kinds of issues. For better or worse could be a really long time, so you need to be prepared. If you and your pastor are tight, you might want them to recommend someone else so that you are not cheated out of this valuable experience. You don't want them to think "oh we know you so" and then gloss over some key issues. That is a major disservice to you and your fiance. You need to discuss money, cheating, sex, parents getting sick/old, hell, you getting sick old, unable to work or do for yourself. Can the person handle all that if you wound up in an unforseen situation?
Sex may be the other hot topic within the union. This is another area where you need to be open and honest. I am convinced the God was wise when He did not want us to have sexual relations before marriage. Hey, I thought I was smart and jumped out there before marriage. The longer I stay married the more I know that my body is a temple and it should've been the gift I gave only to my hubby. I should have expected the same in return. There is something to be said about being able to learn and grow together instead of coming to the marriage bed filled with expectations born out of other relationships. Those expectations can be a hindrance to the marriage bed which is supposed to be undefiled.(ref: Hebrews 13:4) It is really supposed to be special. Let's face it, what other relationship represents Christ and His Bridegroom, the Church? None! So go head and put those inhibitions aside and be the freak your hubby needs you to be....Good girl days are over.....yous married now(Color Purple flashback).
Finally, leave the third party out of the equation. You can't tell your mom, girlfriend, or family everything. You will have bared your soul because you were pissed off about something and then forgive your boo and your peeps will still be angry and upset with him. That might be a problem. Also, single friends can't help married friends solve marital problems. They are in a different space. There is a reason for "leaving and cleaving." (ref: Matthew 19:4-6) Don't be confused, I do have married friends and I do discuss married issues with them but not everything. Some things simply need to be taken to Jesus and Jesus alone.
My friend Mina always says, "Start the way you want to finish." It really is good advice. When things are fresh and new you want to be together and tell them everything before you tell everyone else. You still need to maintain that freshness even if you've been married for years. It always makes me smile when I see elderly couples who clearly enjoy being in each other's presence. It makes me so happy and makes my heart feel good. That all comes with work. Work, in the form of carving out date time or time to connect, where you shut out the rest of the world or even your children. You have to create special little rituals that make sense to you and your mate and cause each other to feel special. Nothing worth having comes easy.
Communication is very important but having fun and growing together has to be worth the journey, so pick your mate wisely. Prayer is also essential, sometimes just telling Jesus will make it all right. Finally, if you get to the wedding date and you know you are making a mistake, call the wedding off. Everything is paid for, party like it is 1999. Yep, I said it....call it off! Yes, it will be somewhat embarrasing but it would be more heart wrenching to spend your life knowing that you could've stopped the train wreck before it started. So what if people are gonna talk, they are gonna do it anyway. Better a moment's embarrasment than a lifetime of regret. It does happen!
Copyright: September 18, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Mina is right. There are things that folks
Having been married for 13 years now, I can say that finances have to be the #1 reason folks argue, break up and divorce. Merging and managing money is not easy. If I can give any advice, try to resolve this issue early on and be honest about it. Don't let money ruin a good relationship. Communicate your fears and your shortcomings. Get godly counsel on the matter.
As a matter of fact, don't marry without extremely sound godly marital counseling. Let me repeat my self: GET PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING!! A neutral third party is good to get you both to explore all kinds of issues. For better or worse could be a really long time, so you need to be prepared. If you and your pastor are tight, you might want them to recommend someone else so that you are not cheated out of this valuable experience. You don't want them to think "oh we know you so" and then gloss over some key issues. That is a major disservice to you and your fiance. You need to discuss money, cheating, sex, parents getting sick/old, hell, you getting sick old, unable to work or do for yourself. Can the person handle all that if you wound up in an unforseen situation?
Sex may be the other hot topic within the union. This is another area where you need to be open and honest. I am convinced the God was wise when He did not want us to have sexual relations before marriage. Hey, I thought I was smart and jumped out there before marriage. The longer I stay married the more I know that my body is a temple and it should've been the gift I gave only to my hubby. I should have expected the same in return. There is something to be said about being able to learn and grow together instead of coming to the marriage bed filled with expectations born out of other relationships. Those expectations can be a hindrance to the marriage bed which is supposed to be undefiled.(ref: Hebrews 13:4) It is really supposed to be special. Let's face it, what other relationship represents Christ and His Bridegroom, the Church? None! So go head and put those inhibitions aside and be the freak your hubby needs you to be....Good girl days are over.....yous married now(Color Purple flashback).
Finally, leave the third party out of the equation. You can't tell your mom, girlfriend, or family everything. You will have bared your soul because you were pissed off about something and then forgive your boo and your peeps will still be angry and upset with him. That might be a problem. Also, single friends can't help married friends solve marital problems. They are in a different space. There is a reason for "leaving and cleaving." (ref: Matthew 19:4-6) Don't be confused, I do have married friends and I do discuss married issues with them but not everything. Some things simply need to be taken to Jesus and Jesus alone.
My friend Mina always says, "Start the way you want to finish." It really is good advice. When things are fresh and new you want to be together and tell them everything before you tell everyone else. You still need to maintain that freshness even if you've been married for years. It always makes me smile when I see elderly couples who clearly enjoy being in each other's presence. It makes me so happy and makes my heart feel good. That all comes with work. Work, in the form of carving out date time or time to connect, where you shut out the rest of the world or even your children. You have to create special little rituals that make sense to you and your mate and cause each other to feel special. Nothing worth having comes easy.
Communication is very important but having fun and growing together has to be worth the journey, so pick your mate wisely. Prayer is also essential, sometimes just telling Jesus will make it all right. Finally, if you get to the wedding date and you know you are making a mistake, call the wedding off. Everything is paid for, party like it is 1999. Yep, I said it....call it off! Yes, it will be somewhat embarrasing but it would be more heart wrenching to spend your life knowing that you could've stopped the train wreck before it started. So what if people are gonna talk, they are gonna do it anyway. Better a moment's embarrasment than a lifetime of regret. It does happen!
Copyright: September 18, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Monday, September 14, 2009
Friends......How Many of Us Have Them
Friendship is near and dear to me. A life without at least one really good friend would be rather empty. I thrive on people contact. I love to hear what people think and feel. I like to see what makes them tick. I have a diverse group of friends who are spread out all over the place. I am sure you do too. I love them and I am guilty of taking for granted that they will be there forever.
Friends are the folks who know you best. They let you have your drowning in sorrow moments but then they help pull you out of the mud and move forward. (ref: Ecclesiastes 4:10) It's your "goto person" as they say on my favorite television show (Grey's Anatomy). It's your ride or die friend. It is the person who loves you despite what they know about you. It is the person you expect to share everything with and to always be there. Have you told your closest friends that they mean something to you. Have you told them that you love them and appreciate their presence in your life? Can you really speak the truth to them in love?
Friendships are precious. They need to be nurtured. Friendships are relationships. God has called us into relationships and we are to treat those relations with care. Today, I challenge you to inspire and encourage your friends. Let them know how they impact your life. I do not mean send them a darn chain e-mail, either. Examine the friendship closely and insure it is not negative. If it is, weigh the pros and cons and take action to change it. Remember, some friendships are only meant to last a season.
What does friendship mean to you? Are you a giver or taker in the relationship? Are you as available to your friend as they are to you in your time of need? That is not to say that occasionally the relationship will not be lop-sided but that should not always be the case. To have a friend you have to be a friend. So tell me, what things define a true friendship. I know what I think but I want to know what you think. I will post a future blog about your responses. So please share! Till next time, I gotta go!
Copyright: September 14 , 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Friends are the folks who know you best. They let you have your drowning in sorrow moments but then they help pull you out of the mud and move forward. (ref: Ecclesiastes 4:10) It's your "goto person" as they say on my favorite television show (Grey's Anatomy). It's your ride or die friend. It is the person who loves you despite what they know about you. It is the person you expect to share everything with and to always be there. Have you told your closest friends that they mean something to you. Have you told them that you love them and appreciate their presence in your life? Can you really speak the truth to them in love?
Friendships are precious. They need to be nurtured. Friendships are relationships. God has called us into relationships and we are to treat those relations with care. Today, I challenge you to inspire and encourage your friends. Let them know how they impact your life. I do not mean send them a darn chain e-mail, either. Examine the friendship closely and insure it is not negative. If it is, weigh the pros and cons and take action to change it. Remember, some friendships are only meant to last a season.
What does friendship mean to you? Are you a giver or taker in the relationship? Are you as available to your friend as they are to you in your time of need? That is not to say that occasionally the relationship will not be lop-sided but that should not always be the case. To have a friend you have to be a friend. So tell me, what things define a true friendship. I know what I think but I want to know what you think. I will post a future blog about your responses. So please share! Till next time, I gotta go!
Copyright: September 14 , 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Friday, September 11, 2009
Eight Years Later......
We can all remember where we were and what we were doing on September 11, 2001. We were glued to the television for hours, staring in horror at scenes which would forever be etched in our minds. Tragedy struck America and it would never ever be the same. Freedoms we took for granted were gone forever. When all the dust had settled, the Twin Towers had fallen, the Pentagon has sustained major damage and countless lives were lost.
Nine years later, America still stands, a country forever changed by the tragic events of one fateful day. Yet we still stand strong. We are still resilient. We still love our stars and stripes. We still remember the victims. We also know that freedom is to be cherished. It might come at a cost. Yet, we go on. It is important to remember that we can't take anything for granted and many things remain out of our control. No one expected what happened on that day. Life is short!
Support your military! Support your friends! Reach for your goals! Encourage those around you to do the same. Most importantly, celebrate the freedoms to which you have become accustomed, but celebrate them with the memory that everything has a price. Nothing should be taken for granted. We really aren't entitled to anything. No matter how cynical I may be, I know in my heart that it is important to be patriotic, love breeds love. Pray for your troops and more importantly, pray for our President/Commander in Chief and his family, and also the future of our country and all the freedoms we hold dear. America is and will remain "the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave."
Copyright September 11, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Nine years later, America still stands, a country forever changed by the tragic events of one fateful day. Yet we still stand strong. We are still resilient. We still love our stars and stripes. We still remember the victims. We also know that freedom is to be cherished. It might come at a cost. Yet, we go on. It is important to remember that we can't take anything for granted and many things remain out of our control. No one expected what happened on that day. Life is short!
Support your military! Support your friends! Reach for your goals! Encourage those around you to do the same. Most importantly, celebrate the freedoms to which you have become accustomed, but celebrate them with the memory that everything has a price. Nothing should be taken for granted. We really aren't entitled to anything. No matter how cynical I may be, I know in my heart that it is important to be patriotic, love breeds love. Pray for your troops and more importantly, pray for our President/Commander in Chief and his family, and also the future of our country and all the freedoms we hold dear. America is and will remain "the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave."
Copyright September 11, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
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