Monday, June 28, 2010

Why Write?

Why do I write this blog? Well, I write for several reasons. The most important reason is that I write for me. I also write for therapeutic purposes. I write to work out my issues. I write to free my mind. Sometimes, I write to entertain or to incite a good debate or even to provoke you to a different way of looking at a situation. I am a chronic thinker, so this is my vehicle. Even though it is my vehicle, I don't want to be offensive or crass but I am human and my thoughts aren't always pure or pleasing to God. I am working on that daily. I am still and always will be a work in progress. I love a good debate. I see the world based on my experiences. My perception, like yours, is my reality.

So I write to share my thoughts, my struggles, my dreams and aspirations. I share my opinions and my observations. You may not like it, you may not agree, but it is all me. I am flawed but I'm thoughtful. I have a voice and I have gifts and talents. God gave them to me and I am required to share them with you. I want to write a book and I will. I am encouraged by family and friends alike. I wish I could get that baby out before Oprah goes off the air and have her want to feature my book. That would shoot a sista straight to the top, now wouldn't it? Yep! Unfortunately the "Oprah Effect" will not help me, but I am a child of God and what He has for me, is for me.

This is just a part of my life's journey. It is a means to an end. My first blog was almost one year ago. I made up my mind that I would try to write twice a week. In all, I have kept my word. Good for someone who is prone to procrastination. As I have become more confident in my writing, I have also tried to become more transparent. You see me and sometimes it ain't pretty. I am honest and opinionated. I hate to hurt people's feelings.  Learning to be transparent without throwing other people under the bus is often a challenge for me. I really am a put it all out there type of girl but life has shown me that somethings must be done with tact and diplomacy, and sometimes, even discretion. So folks, continue to watch me grow. I write for you too. Support me! Pray for and encourage me. Till next time, enjoy the small things! Peace!

Copyright June 28, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
                                                            

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Are You a Punk Parent?

Punk parents allow their children to control them. The children dominate and dictate way too much of the ebb and flow of the home. This leads to them thinking that the world revolves around them. In our home, punishments are not negotiable. We set the punishment and that is that. Spanking still happens in our home too. It drives the seriousness of the issue home quickly despite it not being a popular option in today's society. My thoughts are that I turned out all right and so will my kids. My mom did not hesitate to spank me. The notion of time outs was non existent.

Parenting is a full time job and it is not easy for any of us. My goal as a parent is to raise respectful, hard-working individuals of high moral fiber/character, who have a strong sense of spirituality, and have a sense of charity. While I like there to be open communication, we are not friends. We can be, once they are adults but for now, it ain't happening. My husband and I set the boundaries and expectations. Most of them are NOT negotiable. We have consequences for negative actions and we do attempt to choose our battles wisely. I think there are instances in which we could be tougher but overall we aren't wimpy parents. Our moms might not agree but we are dealing with a different set of issues with this generation.


We tell our children "NO!" often and we try not to be inconsistent in our dealings with them. They are looking for those inconsistencies so they can use them to their advantage. We are not afraid to go against the status quo. The worst reason my kids can use, is to tell me that "so and sos mom let's them do" whatever. Who gives a darn what everyone else is doing! I certainly don't.


There are a plethora of books written on how to raise your children. I am no expert. We learn by trial and error. What works for one kid doesn't work for the other, especially in my house. My kids have very different temperaments and attitudes so parenting them is a challenge. To them, nothing seems fair when it comes to disciplining the other. My explanation is that life isn't fair and what better place to learn that than at home where the people love and care for you. Yea, that goes over real well. NOT!

Bottom line, Kids need discipline. Studies have shown that kids who don't receive it feel as if their parents really don't love them. The Bible says, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.  The rod of correction will drive it far from him." (Proverbs 22: 15 NKJV) See children are foolish, and as parents,  is our job to move them from the point of foolishness to a place of wisdom. Even as adults we have rules to follow and it is not dependent upon our emotions or peers. Times are showing that parents have to step up to the plate and control their children. You have to stay in their business and their friends' business too. Disrespectful children turn into disrespectful adults.

We are in a time where morals have taken a backseat and values seem to be taking a dive. You only have eighteen good years to parent your child and you have a lifetime after that to become their friend. Don't waste the opportunity to shape and mold your child. Children don't stray far from the moral compass you set for them. If they do, they will eventually veer back on track. Punk parents are selling their children out. Those children run the risk of becoming statistics. Certainly, America doesn't need anymore of those.  So you MUST set that moral compass. Do your thankless job. I have to admit that on many days it really is thankless but I know that I will see the reward of my labor in the future. I only have to ask my mom to know this to be true. Find what works best for your home but don't let your kids run you or run amuck. It is never too late to flip the tables and reclaim your God given right to rule. The time is now and the challenge has been issued. What are you gonna do? Your child's future is at hand. Don't punk out! Till the next time....Ciao!

Copyright June 24, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Pray for Me

Today was not a great one, in fact, it was quite crappy. Despite that, God sent continuous reminders to me that He loves me and He has placed the right people in my life. I am thankful for friends who call out of the blue and tell me that they love me and are praying for me.  Love ya, Mina! I needed that at just that moment. I am also thankful for those friends who let you vent endlessly and then help you understand that you are not alone. Love ya Gochi and Tracie. I called DJ to do something and he bounded up the stairs with "Yes beautiful mother what so yo want your handsome son to do?" I cracked up because he was so charming and sincere.

Dmitri and I had a disagreement and it wasn't cute. I wasn't feeling him at all. After several hours, he came and apologized and gave me a huge hug and kiss. Then when a rainstorm came from out of nowhere, he grabbed me by the hand and said, "let's go stand in the rain." I went despite my reservations. Y'all know I'm an African American woman and our hair and the rain are not on friendly terms! Again, he hugged me and held me. We agreed to disagree and to try to work on some issues. He is home for the next week and a half so it would behoove us to not be pissed with each other.

If you know me well, you know that I stand by the fact that marriage isn't easy. It is not for the faint-hearted. You will need prayer and support even in the best situations. It would be easy to throw in the towel. For better or worse is different for everybody and no one can tell you how to handle your marriage situation but God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we ask or think.(Eph. 3:20) Ahh but we do have to ask in order to receive. Whenever I drift too far from God, He will provide a situation to send me to my knees. Thankfully, He is there waiting patiently for me to return to His love and guidance. So often we forget to turn to Him for an intervention into our situation. We also forget to have other believers intercede for us. Sometimes, you just can't pray for yourself. You need a little help from your friends. There is never a such thing as too much prayer.

So I am feeling better and my day has turned around. I know some saints have prayed for me. Thank God! Also, I am thankful that there is a thing called a second chance or in God's case a tenth or eightieth chance. Don't sit idly by and let life happen. God is in the details and He cares for you. Put your trust in Him and call on other saints to help get you through. Till next time, pray for me and your friends. You never know who needs a prayer lifted on their behalf. Peace!

Copyright June22, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Friday, June 18, 2010

School's Out

It is official!! School's out for the summer! I now have an 8th grader and a 4th grader. WOW! Time flies when you are living life like it's golden. So now it is time for lazy days and fun times. I enjoy spending time with my children. What I don't like is them thinking my name is Julie(the activities director). So what exactly do we do when we are not visiting other locales?

We spend our days (and evenings too) at the pool. I require my kids to spend 30 minutes of their day with a book. They have to participate in the Summer Library Program. In addition to reading, they also have to do other educational activities. Specifically, multiplication facts for the rising 4th grader. We try to improve our handwriting skills. We also take our report cards to Bowl America. They credit a free game of bowling for each "A" earned by your child during the school year. It is a fantastic way to spend a rainy day. The games expire in September. For more information check out www.bowl-america.com.  You can also checkout www.kidsbowlfree.com for another free bowling experience. There are also free movies on Tuesdays and Wednesdays at Regal Theaters. Usually, there is a "G" rated movie and a "PG" rated movie for your children. For more information on that, check out www.regmovies.com. Oh I almost forgot, my children think going to Barnes  & Noble is a field trip. They also have a reading program where your child can earn a FREE BOOK. Details can be obtained in any of their locations. I suspect there is information at their website as well. Check them out at www.bn.com.


Because we live in the DC area, it would be foolish to not visit all of the Smithsonian Museums. They are free and more importantly, they are air conditioned. They are fun and entertaining and your kids don't realize that they are enhancing their learning too. I'm all for that. Note that the key to most of what I've mentioned is FREE. That is an operative word. We take road trips. Virginia Beach is 3 hours away and there is no better place for us to spend time as a family than on a beach somewhere. I am also hoping that this year, we have an opportunity to visit Ocean City, Maryland. Can't beat the boardwalk experience. We love playing miniature golf and eating seafood.


The best way to spend summer time is visiting loved one near and far. Family time is priceless. We will hit Baltimore, Philadelphia, and Cleveland this summer. We are spending a week in Mexico at an all inclusive resort. I will blog about that experience upon our return. We all have our passports and can't wait for that trip. My son can't wait to get on airplane again. It should be wonderful!

All that said, I hope that you all enjoy whatever pleasures that summer has in store for you. Enjoy and treasure the time with your family and friends. Take joy in the simple things that your town has to offer. You can't beat a county fair or local festival, especially food and wine types. Then there is the fresh fruit and open air markets. Can you tell that I love summer as much as I love the Christmas season? I absolutely love a good watermelon and juicy nectarines. YUM! Life is short and sometimes all you will have is the memories to sustain you. Don't take the little moments for granted. Be safe! Do some community service! HAVE FUN! Love your family! Smile! Be a blessing! Happy Summer!

SN: I forgot to mention one of the other sites that you will love(and love me for leading you to it). If you need a coupon code for any retailer for savings or free shipping, you need to check out www.retailmenot.com. I am so sorry I forgot to mention it to you! It is a gem!


Copyright June 18, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Helpful Me

So it is a running joke in several different circles of my friends, that if you want to know something on the Internet, ask Pam. It's a running joke but the reality is, I will find what I need on the Internet and if I can't, I call my cousin, Toot, and she will find it for me. So I am giving up some good info to assist you, my favorite readers/friends/neighbors, in your quest to find things you need in your day to day dealings. In short, here are a few sites that will help you out depending on what you need.

1. If you like a book and want to read something with a similar style or feel to it, check out www.bookseeker.com.

2. If you want to know what information is out there in cyberspace about you, check out www.webmii.com.

3. If you want a serious bargain on anything, check out http://www.overstock.com/.

4. Need shoes, check out www.zappos.com or http://www.endless.com/.

5. If you are considering a hysterectomy, please check out www.hystersisters.com. They have some good info for you in terms of alternatives, methods, and it is quite a supportive site.

6. Looking for a home to purchase or rent in DC/MD/VA/PA, www.homesdatabase.com is the place for you.

7. Need to figure out where you want to send your children to school, I suggest www.greatschools.net. It is not a be all end all but if the parents who contribute are honest, it is a great place to start.

8. Unemployed? Of course there is Monster, YahooJobs, but their is also http://www.indeed.com/ and www.craigslist.org. SN: be careful on Craigslist, there are scammers out there. Also it is useful for locating a place to live and also for selling/buying things.

9. If you want to get rid of something, but don't wish to haul it away, list it on www.freecycle.org. It goes without saying that you can also find things you need if you are willing to go pick up the item.

10. Got a craving for a particular cuisine in a specific price range, www.urbanspoon.com is your spot.

11. Wanna know what folks think of the restaurant you chose(or a hair salon or any other business, you need to read the reviews on http://www.yelp.com/. You can create an account and give your opinion of the businesses as well.

12. If you need a free budgeting tool, I am in love with http://www.mint.com/. it will break down your spending habits and let you know when you've exceeded a particular budget item. Great tool without the cost of Quicken or a program like it.

Okay so lets call it a dozen sites to enhance your life, depending on what you need. I am sure there are somethings I missed but this is not an exhaustive listing. I will give you some other things to chew on at a later date. I love sharing what I know and I try to educate my friends in the process. Let me know whether they help you or not. I think they are all worthy of your perusal. I love you all, be safe, smile, and bless someone along the way.

Copyright June 15, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Please, Help Me Out!

Here we go with another random post but this is not quite a Diva Dialogue. These are just questions that can provide good food for thought or discussion based on things I've dealt with, discussed with someone,  or read in some magazine in the past week. Some serious, and some silly...remember, I said that I'd write about whatever, whenever.


1. Monica, this one is for you: What is your favorite cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory? My two favorites are the 30th Anniversary Cheesecake and the Kahlua Almond Fudge Cheesecake.


2. If you are single, would you sign up on a site that would only pair you with Sugar Daddies? There will be a post about this topic because damn, who'd a thunk it? Yes, I will classify you as a gold digger if your answer is affirmative but hey, it is only my opinion. We all want the finer things in life right?


3. If you are the parent of a bi-racial child, specifically if you are African American or Hispanic, have you ever been mistaken for the Nanny instead of the Mommy? If so, how did you handle the situation?


4. Have you ever thought about walking away from your current life situation and not looking back? What pushed you to that point? What kept you from actually running away?


5. Would you tell a friend/sister/cousin/neighbor if you caught her significant other cheating on her? My opinion of this has changed over the years. My answer is yes but in my maturity, I have learned that I can not have a predetermined way the situation should turn out once the person is given the information. SN: if Dmitri has the brazen audacity or gall to cheat, I damn sure want to know and I will solicit help kicking his a$$ if necessary. Oops! Did I really say that? Yes I damn sure did! Now, on to the next one.....


6. Women, do you try to do everything yourself or have you learned to as for help? I do as much as I can without ever asking for help. God has put me in situations where I had to learn that it is okay to reach out and ask for help. It is all a part of that whole relationship thing, you know. It still isn't easy but it is necessary so I don't lose my mind. Pride comes before the fall.


7. Is fatherlessness the biggest problem in the African American community? While I certainly think it contributes to serious problems, I don't think it it the most serious problem. I think all fathers should take care of their children and the mothers should allow them that opportunity. It should not be dependent on whether he is paying his child support or not. Now if the man is detrimental. that may be another story and certainly perhaps supervised visits might be in order. All children need male and female role models in their lives for growth and development and there are other things that could benefit our communities as well.

Okay, I think this is enough food for thought. I would like feedback from you. Agree or disagree if you must but at least respond. I am curious to know what you think on these issues. For now, I am out of here. Have a blessed day!

Copyright June 15, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Beach Reads

In keeping with the theme of recommended reading, Here is a list by the staffers at Woman's Day Magazine. It is short sweet and to the point. I haven't read a single one of them but a couple are already on my Nook. Here they are in no particular order:

    1. Dismantled: A Novel
   
    2. The Perfect Happiness: A Novel

    3. Summer Shift: A Novel

    4.  Days of Grace: A Novel

    5. Girl in Translation

    6. Every Last One: A Novel

    7. My Name Is Memory

    8. Hannah's List

That is it for now. I plan to read #s 1, 6, and 8. I will let you know my opinion. It's a hot day and I'm enjoying being in the house with my family. Translation: Love being in the comfort of the air conditioning. Till next time, be safe and God bless. Ciao!

Copyright June 12, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Friday, June 11, 2010

Addicted

Hi my name is Pamela and I am addicted to books(and make-up and shoes, too). My close friends would call me a book whore. I would gladly accept the title because I really do love books and reading is Fundamental. I've had this addiction for years, like I don't even remember when it began. I clearly remember reading under my sheets with a flashlight as a child. Probably why I have such poor vision now.


Everyone knows that I have a passion for reading a good book. I've gotten to the point where I will post my reviews on Facebook(Living Social). When I review a book, I try really hard not to give anything away in terms of the plot and give my honest assessment. I also post them on Barnes and Noble's website as well. If you want to check them out my user name is PamT2u. God has blessed me with family and friends who appreciate a good book as well. Shout out to Dorna, Dana, Monica, Lisa(C and H), Monique, Carlene, Talithia, Tiffany, Tracie, and Andrea! They can recommend a good book and none of them is afraid of giving their opinion, good or bad. They all call for recommendations and I share them. They will let me know if they disagree with my thoughts on a book too.


My husband does not share my passion for books but he does love me enough to support my habit. It is bad y'all. When I say, "So many books, so little time! I absolutely mean it. To prove his love, you already know he bought me a Nook for Christmas. It gets no better than that. An e-reader is a wonderful thing. You can have access to all of your books in one place. I have friends who own Kindle Wireless Reading Device (6" Display, Global Wireless, Latest Generation) or Sony Digital Reader Touch Edition - Black (PRS600BC)and like me, they love it. I think the major plus is being able to download a sample to determine if a book is worthy of you spending your money on it. The cost of most e-books is $9.99, some are less and new releases might be a little more. The most I've paid for an e-book is $14.99.


Due to the number of requests I've received in the past two weeks alone, I thought I'd post my own recommended reading list for this summer. Some I've read and some are on my list of books to read at the pool or on the beach. Of the books that I've read recently, I am recommending the following: Same Kind of Different As Me: A Modern-Day Slave, an International Art Dealer, and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together, True Colors, Firefly Lane, The Help and Wench: A Novel. On my list of things to read for this summer we have the following: Her Mother's Hope (Marta's Legacy), Little Bee: A Novel, Perfect Peace, Till You Hear from Me: A Novel, and The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. There are quite a few others but this should help for now. I am always reading a self help or Christian book too. My summer read is This Isn't the Life I Signed Up For: ...But I'm Finding Hope and Healing. Let me know what you think of any or all of them. Feel free to recommend your own personal favorites. Should this list still find you wanting more, I suggest the following authors: J. California Cooper, John Sandford, Francine Rivers, Berniece McFadden, Kristin Hannah, and Jodi Picoult.


Note that this post was purely random so I will give other favs at some point. Thanks so much for indulging me. I really would like some feedback. Everyone has a story that they love. Don't you want to share it with us?  certainly hope so. Now seriously, pick up a book, if you aren't a reader, I am challenging you to challenge yourself and read one, just one book each month. There is a whole vast array of books out there. Till next time, for real, I hope the Lord blesses you with a wonderful weekend! 

Copyright June 10, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Are You Open?

Are you transparent in your interactions? I try really hard to be. Writing this blog has helped me to put myself out there more. I am by no means perfect. I think that is evident in some of my thoughts and opinions. I have not arrived but I really have come a long, long way. I have mentioned that I have a very diverse group of friends. I don't put all my stuff out there for everyone because like most people, I don't wish to be judged or thought of as a bad person. All my thoughts are not good but neither are they bad. They are just what I think based on my own personal experiences.

Whether it is with you or my closest friends, I try to be real. It is what I hope each of you are to the people in your circle. No I am not saying that you have to completely let your guard down with everyone but in order to get to an authentic relationship, you have to reveal some of stuff. You have to be willing to allow yourself to vulnerable. That can only happen through honest candid communication.


I have met many folks who tell me that they don't need any friends. Not true. We all need someone. God put relationships in place for a reason. Love is the greatest commandment. Without relationships, you can't exhibit love. Nor can you stretch yourself to go beyond your comfort zone. As Christians, we are supposed to go beyond our selves, our little sphere of the earth and reach out to others, especially the unchurched.


Some of us have no problem extending ourselves to others. I am extroverted and meeting and talking to strangers comes easily to me. The exact opposite could be said about my introverted husband who has a small group of friends. Even extroverts can choose not to be transparent in their relationships. Some of you may be asking why transparency is even important. The reason is quite simple. Your being transparent helps someone else. It helps them to know that you are not perfect. It helps them to know that they don't have to be perfect either. Your experience may help to ease your friend's burdens.


Here is something I don't like. I don't like it when we are supposedly good friends and you try to make your life out like it is perfect. A good friend will encourage and convict you but still stand beside you in the end. I need people in my corner who know that I am not perfect and that God is not done perfecting me and I need to see that He is still working out some issues for you too. We can help each other grow in His love and grace and in our own confidence to handle and face whatever situations come our way. Do NOT translate this as you should not have boundaries. Everyone really can't handle all of your stuff. You can't tell everyone everything. God has given us a discerning spirits. Now every one's level of discernment certainly is not the same but don't ever be a fool for someone. What I'm saying is don't lie to your friends. Don't mislead your friends. Be real with them. Sometimes there are things we can't share and that is understandable but don't entertain those conversations or say that hat is a topic for another day.

Transparency is completely intertwined with trust. You have to trust that the persons you're being transparent with are going to have your best interest at heart. You have to trust that your friendship is strong enough to handle real deal situations. I want, and am blessed to have, friends who will let me share my ish with them and then give me an honest assessment/opinion of it. They will challenge me and sometime give me a reality check but they remain true to seeing me grow as a person and expecting the same in return. You don't have to have that with every relationship but ultimately, I think it your goal should be to grow in the relationship and show some level of vulnerability. All relationships aren't going to be deep, but there should be glimpses of growth after you spend enough time with a person.

So my friends are you growing? Are you open? Do you allow others to see that you are human and that you make mistakes? Do you lie to you friends to paint a picture of perfection or do you put your stuff out there and let things fall where they may? A quote by Carl Rogers, says, "The relationship which I have found helpful is characterized by a sort of transparency on my part, in which my real feelings are evident; by an acceptance of this other person as a separate person with value in his own right; and by a deep empathic understanding which enables me to see his private world through his eyes." That pretty much sums it up, don't you think? My challenge for those of you in the blogesphere is to be transparent for just one week and share your results. You don't have to be transparent with everyone just choose one person and be real with them. Every time someone asks you, "How are you?" Are you really fine? Answer that one question honestly, that in and of itself can lead to some real conversation. Till next time, I am outta here. Please do something kind for someone this weekend and be safe! Hugs!

Copyright June 10, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Diva Dialogue VII

Hello! Here we go again...sista got a lot on my mind. You know what that means, right? Yep, got a lot of ground to cover. Let's see where to begin. Okay, let's start with the job thing. I worked for the Census Bureau for a total of 3.5 weeks. Can you believe that crap? 3.5 weeks! Seriously! Well thank goodness, I did not make any concrete plans to spend the money before I earned it. It was so nice to see a check or 3 with my name on it but it would've been nice to see several more. The work itself was relatively easy. I had to locate a home, knock on the door and inquire as to how many people resided in the home on Census Day(April 1st for those of you with no clue). Once I determined that I was talking to an of age person who resided in the home on 4/1/2010, I had to conduct an interview to ascertain basic information about people in the home. I got paid hourly and for mileage. My chief complaint would be this, the damn paperwork. You know the Federal Government..........Bureaucracy is king! I met some very interesting people and overall, I had a good experience. I think it helps that I am a people person and I have no problem talking to strangers. Some of my colleagues didn't fare as well as I did. So, now I am back to the grind, sending out my resume again. I liked making that little money. It helped insure a week would be well spent in Mexico! Yea me and my family!


As of this post, we have lost Gary Coleman, Rue McClanahan, and Coach John Wooden. Wow! Heaven(or hell) is claiming what seems to be a lot of folks this year. I loved The Golden Girls. Blanche(Rue's Character) was too funny, always throwing herself at a man. I watched Different Strokes as a kid but Arnold(Whatchu talkin bout Willis?) got on my nerves. Sadly, Gary Coleman died estranged from his parents and there is a current problem getting him buried. Coach Wooden, led UCLA to ten national titles, died at age 99. May they all rest in perfect peace.

I am going to be brief on the BP oil spill. The effects of that disaster will be felt for a long time. If you live in Louisiana, I think you might want to consider a change of locale. Seems like God might be trying to tell you something. BP should be fined and the fine should be huge. I am sure the CEO is thinking, "Damn! I thought that the government might let me screw America over, just like AIG!" Not! Obama is realizing that you privileged individuals don't do right by common folks. You have a lot and you want no responsibility for your errors. I have no pity on you! It is time for you to man up!

Kate and her brood of children are back. UGH! Need I say more. I mean a lady has gotta work and feed her children, right? Right! Let's keep it movin! I guess that would be Shaunie O'Neal's excuse too. Do we really care what basketball wives do all day. No the hell we don't. Any woman can be a lady who lunches. It really is all about your character and what you do for the community at large that matters.



I am sick of media whores. Is Gary Coleman's ex-wife crazy or what? She is trying to sell pictures of the man on his deathbed. Seriously? That is pretty low. I guess she is in dire need of cash. The sad thing is some rag will pay a hefty penny and publish them. She can take pics of a man dying but she couldn't help him as he was bleeding on the floor of their home. Yea, she's a gem!


Summer is quickly approaching. I can't wait for the kids to get out of school. I know I will revamp this statement come July 1 but for now, I am sick of the routine. What are your plans? Do you make your children do educational tasks during the summer? My children have to read for a minimum of 30 minutes a day. They also have to do some form of math. They hate me for it but hey who cares. They can play videos and hang out at the pool most of the rest of the time. We do visit the library and they participate in whatever the summer reading program too.


Welcome to the latest addition to the Thorpe family. Julius Luciano Torres has blessed us with his presence and we are excited for his lucky parents, Dennis and Tiffany. Can't wait to meet him in person. The family continues to do big things. My husband, Dmitri, has begun a travel agency. Check it out, http://www.dreamydestinations.net/. We hope you will give us the opportunity to help you achieve your travel dreams come true. If you are on Facebook, register and check out the page. If you are in Texas, my brother, Gerald, has a great gospel showcase coming up. If you are in Northern Virginia, my brother in law is sponsoring poetry nights on every Tuesday of the month in Manassas, Va. I will post details in a separate post. Finally, if you need to get yourself in shape, my sister is a Beachbody coach. If you need products for working out or an eating plan, she just might be able to assist you. There are links for each of them. Support Black businesses, heck support American businesses for that matter.


Of course I have so much more to say but I will end for now. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I am going to do better with my post. I have been lax lately. I have a million things floating in my head and I have little pieces of paper with topics to blog on too. I initially committed to writing two blogs a week, so I am going to get back on my game plan. Watch out everyone, I have a lot to say. Till we chat again, be a blessing!

Copyright June 9, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me


Today is my birthday. Yea! I have no special plans but I am still excited. I think a little retail therapy is in order. Yea, that would be a good start. For me, no birthday is complete without an ice cream cake from one of my favorite places, Baskin-Robbins. YUM! Can't wait!

I was born in Detroit at a time when riots were occurring and my parents were not allowed to install a telephone. They had no car either. Yep, I arrived in the midst of craziness. My mother really was praying that I'd be born on June 7th. Had I been obedient, I would have shared a birthday with my grandmother, aunt Ruby, and cousin Gwen. Have you noticed that June 7th is a very popular birth date? Some of my favorite folks were born then such as Prince and L.A. Reid, and Nikki Giovanni. Ahh but if you have kept up with my blogs, you know that I am my own person and I hate following the rules. So I share my illustrious birthday with Anderson Cooper and Josephine Baker.

I am enjoying my 40s. Life really does begin then. I am pretty happy with who I am. I have had great life experiences and I feel confident with who I have become. I have learned to tone down my opinions but I still can't always control my facial expressions. I am working on it! As far as my friends are concerned, I must say that I have a diverse group of friends who are living all over the place and doing all sorts of things. I am thankful for all the places that I have lived because each location has provided me with great people whom I will forever cherish. I love meeting people and I think I have some great friendships as a result of being open to new places and things.

My life has had its share of ups and downs but I would never trade my experiences for anything. I have gained wisdom and insight from every situation. I remain committed to being a Christian and having a relationship with Christ. I am open to new experiences. I realize that life is pretty simple in a complex way. You are the sum of your experiences so you should have as many of them as possible. Fear will hold you back but faith will open doors. People come and go and there really are some seasons that simply must end. Life is meant to be embraced and lived to the fullest. None of us were issued a manual on how to do life and God didn't promise us that living would be easy. What makes all the difference in the world is how you view it. Each day you get to choose. Hopefully, you choose the positive but even if you don't, tomorrow is another day to get up and try it all again. We are all works in progress.

So enough of me and my view on life. I got a Diva Dialogue coming up because I have random thoughts rolling around my mind and you know they are dying to be shared. LOL! The best gift for me is peace. Now that's not to say that I wouldn't like a whole lot of money....but peace of mind is very important. God probably knows I might not be ready to handle a great deal of money so I will wait...Hehehe! Another great gift is simply having the love of family(and friends) who support, encourage, and pray for me. God has blessed me abundantly! Note, I did NOT say materially(although I probably have plenty). For that, I am grateful. I am pleased that I am sane and healthy and so are those near and dear to me. I have pretty much everything I need and most of what I want. I am not what I want to be but I am not who I used to be either. I am constantly changing and evolving. I want to inspire you to be the best you that you can be. Define yourself and your legacy. Don't let others impose their woulda, shoulda, couldas on you. They got one life to live and if they are doing that right, they have no room to impose their agenda on yours. That said, it is now time to celebrate me! Happy birthday to me! Peace and love to you all. Till next time, God willing, we will chat again!

Copyright June 3, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Family Matters & Forgiveness Does Too

Hey Y'all! I had a wonderful weekend! After celebrating our 14th Anniversary, we moved on to the Memorial Day weekend festivities. Guess who came to dinner? My mom and my brother made a quick dash from Cleveland. Yea me! I hadn't seen my brother since March, 2007. I was missing him like crazy. I just needed to lay my own eyes on him to know that he really is okay. He had surgery last week and I was concerned.


It was a chill weekend but we just had a nice time. Anything we do involves food and so this weekend was no exception. My brother grilled and my sister and I hooked up some sides. We threw down(as usual!). I'm sure you all had your own fun times but you know I think time spent with family is priceless. Moreso, when everyone is scattered all over the place. I think that I've mentioned that I hate that my kids are not growing up near their grandma, I lived next door to mine and I can't imagine life without that experience.


All that aside, family matters. Those are supposed to be the people with whom you can best relate and be yourself. I encourage you to keep the family bonds as tight as you can. Trust me, my family is and can be dysfunctional. Do you know any that are not? If you do, I think it is a facade. Everyone has some stuff, some secrets, and some issues that keep things interesting. Shit happens but it is best to resolve the issues and move on. It makes no sense for years to pass without you speaking to your mama, sister, cousin, and even your friends. Seasons can end in friendship but not in families.


No matter what, your family determines some of who you are(even if you turn your back on them). We are all the sum of our parts. That includes the good the bad and even the ugly. It is the choices that we make that will determine its impact on our lives. So what have you chosen? Really, it is all about forgiveness. I know I am sounding somewhat repetitive but forgiveness matters. Life is too short to hold grudges. Most of the time, people don't even remember why they are angry. If you call yourself a Christian, I challenge you to think about this; Christ died on the cross to blot out every sin-past, present, and future, that we would commit. I think it would pain Jesus to have given us this precious gift and then we turn around and can't forgive someone for wronging us. Surely, you are no better than Jesus!


It doesn't take much to be civil. You don't have to be friends. You should have each other's backs. A family function shouldn't cause the host to stress out about how folks are going to act. Ahh but I've digressed yet again. I just wanted to share how much it meant for my brother who flew in to Cleveland from Texas to celebrate the nuptials of his best friend to drive to Virgina to see little ole me. It's a lengthy drive for a less than 48 hour visit. I am worth it though. Despite the brevity of the visit, there is just something about being together with those you love, that makes everything okay.

It is simply comforting to just be with your family with no agenda. Memories are created in those moments. The moments are precious because life is not promised and things change moment by moment. Who wants to live with the guilt of some petty unresolved issue. In the words of my dad, "Life to the fullest! No regrets!" Wouldn't it be a shame for something to happen, and you did not forgive someone? Wouldn't it be worse for something to happen to someone and you live in the same city but hadn't spoken for several years? I certainly think so but it isn't about what I think. I hope it is what I've inspired in you. Hint:Forgive, resolve, and move on! I am out of here for now. Peace!


Copyright June 1, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe