Summer Roundup

As summer draws to a close, I have been remiss in writing my blog. Way too much fun to take the time and get it all out. So here’s a brief review of how I’ve spent what several of my friends are calling #theyearof50. After returning from Nawlins, I caught up with my friends, Van and Terry. No laughs spared with those two. This time we got to celebrate Van who got a new job. Next up was a celebration of my oldest BFF, Monica and her Golden birthday. What a great reason for the college BFF, Sonja and me to make a road trip to the place that built me. Hello, Cleveland! Guess who we got to hang out with there? My brother, Gerald. We saw lots of my family and friends and ate way too much but boy did we have a wonderful time. 

Monica planned a weekend long celebration with her very closest girlfriends and called it Monica 5.0. Talk about a fun time. Seven women embarked on downtown Cleveland, OH and had a blast. On Friday, we were supposed to do a Happy Hour boat ride but we enjoyed each other so much that wearrived at the pier and the boat had already departed. Not to be thwarted, we made arrangements to get on the boat on Saturday and came up with a new plan. The drinks and conversation flowed effortlessly despite the fact that some of us had never met each other. We ended up doing a small photo shoot in downtown Cleveland and eventually made our way to Michaels Simon’s restaurant, Mabel’s BBQ. Let’s just characterize that as a meat fest. Then we made our way to the chocolate bar for late night drinks. To say I felt like a stuffed pig would be an understatement.

On Saturday, it was a bit dreary so we took our time motivating. Once we got it together, we did another mini photo shoot and headed to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Can you believe that this native Clevelander hadn’t ever set foot in that place? What a gem! It was a great experience because I absolutely can’t live without music. There is much to experience and learn about the history of Rock and Roll. I think the layout is pretty nice and I didn’t feel like there was a need to rush through any area of the museaum. While I think there might be way too much information on Elvis, I learned a lot and was impressed with the artifacts on display throughout the museum. I loved the Evolution of Hip-Hop and silly me got a great picture with my favorite artist, the Purple one, Prince. Once done, we got ourselves together to take the boat ride. We did not miss the Goodtime III this time. A dance party was the theme and the people watching was epic. It was a gorgeous night to see Cleveland’s skyline from Lake Erie. Sunday culminated with one more group photo and a lovely brunch where a few more folks joined us and brought Monica’s 5.0 to an end. 

After hanging our with more of my family, Sonja and I made it back to the DMV safe and sound. My July culminated in celebrating my niece, Jayla’s  6th birthday. That stinker is growing up way to fast. After an impromptu dinner, she choraled us into a dance party and and game night. On a sad note, we bid her and the rest of my sister’s family goodbye as they relocated to Rochester, NY. My month ended with a bowling fundraiser for PAGE, Inc. That is a non-profit, started by my friend Telia, to help teens succeed in every area of life. August brought me back to reality. Work was calling and we had to be ready for a new group of students. We bid good bye to one of the Village children and headed to Baltimore for those farewell festivities. It was a great opportunity for us to catch up with our friends who are like family and some people with whom we used to attend church. Sonja and I once again to a quick road trip to NC to drop off my godchild for her last year of college at NCAT. 

I got to visit with my brother once again and even got to see him perform two pieces in a spoken word event. My own Thorpettes also embarked on their own journies as seniors in their respective schools. My older one will graduate in May from  JWU and the younger one is completing his last year of high school. Time flies. Next year this time, I will be an empty nester. What a bittersweet, but sobering thought.  So sobering that I ended my summer with a trip to a winery I hadn’t visited before. This past weekend, I was fortunate enough to attend a performance of Hamilton at the Kennedy Center. It was worth the hype! I loved the diversity of the cast and found the production quite entertaining. If only I could’ve learned history this way. 

I am ready for Fall. It’s been a full summer and I have enjoyed every moment of it. God is good and I feel blessed to have spent most of my time with the people I love and care about the most. Count your blessings and remember, life is about experiences and the people you encounter along the way. The year of 50 is shaping up just fine. Again, I am here for it all. I apologize for the length of this post and I will try to be more diligent about posting. In the meantime, get busy living because life is precious and it waits for no man (or woman). 

   

                      

In Diva Love, 

Pamela 👑💜🙏🏽

June’s Golden Celebration

June is and always will be the best month of the year. This past June, God allowed me to see another year of life and I happily celebrated turning 50 in grand style as only a diva like me could. While there is longevity in my family, I don’t take a single day of life for granted. I’ve been through a lot and I’ve learned a lot. I don’t take any experience for granted and I have embraced the lessons. I trust God and continue to pray through everything. I am looking forward to all that life and the next 50 years have to offer. Winning a huge lottery would help to fulfill quite a few of those dreams not only for me but my loved ones as well. I digress. 🤷🏽‍♀️. While my actual birthday was pretty low-key in terms of celebration, it was a good day. I always celebrate the entire month and this year was no exception. So I had a vision for my birthday but obviously I was procrastinations a little to much for my BFFs. They took over the planning and put together a wonderful Boozy Birthday Celebration.We kicked off the weekend with drinks, appetizers, and karaoke. On Saturday, We did a sip and paint and culminated with a nice dinner at the Chart house. We managed to sneak in a photo shoot too. A Sunday brunch culminated a wonderful celebration. I am eternally grateful for the women God has placed in my life to be my best friends. They gave me exactly what I wanted and the people who were meant to celebrate with me were present. Father’s Day weekend caused a few folks to miss due to other obligations but that allowed me to keep celebrating for several more weeks into July.

In addition to me celebrating my birthday, I had the pleasure of having one of my dearest friends spend a weekend with me here in VA. We hit up a winery and got to check out the soft opening of the Alamo Draft house. I love the concept of having drinks and a meal served to you while you watch a movie. I also got to see my niece’s efforts a she was in her first dance recital. It was a real cute rendition of Cinderella. The month concluded with a lovely trip to New Orleans to witness the nuptials of my step-son and his beautiful bride. I hung out with my sister in love and once again ate my way through one of my favorite hot places. I wasn’t trying to be too touristy this time, but if you get an opportunity, I would highly encourage you to visit the World War II Museum. It was a very interactive, well planned museum with lots of information and artifacts. The museum is laid out well and flows beautifully. It was a good one on one with my youngest Thorpette. Can’t believe that kid is going to be a high school senior this Fall. 

If you took the the time to participate in my birthday bash, I appreciate you. I had a blast. I am always grateful for the love and support of my friends and family. June was better than I expected and more than I could wish for. Reflecting on the month and May too, I know that relationships shouldn’t be taken for granted. Love hard on your family and friends and enjoy the moments you get to make memories. I am no longer #flirtingwtih50, I am 50! Fierce and fabulous! I can see their will be changes ahead. With God, I am here for Every. Single. Bit. Of. It.

Cheers 🥂  to 50 Years!!!

In Diva Love,

Pamela 🎂💜👑🥂🍷🙏🏽❤️😘

Random Reflections-May, 2018

The past three months seem to have been one big epic celebration of life and people I love dearly. I guess that’s why it’s been so long since I’ve made a post. I’m still here and I have enjoyed the season. May kicked off with a forced celebration of my brother, Gerald. He celebrated his 47th birthday here in Virginia with me. By forced, I mean, he imposed a Chapter 47 Shenanigans weekend long birthday celebration on my sister and me. While I balked at planning the weekend, it was one of the best times I’ve had with my family and friends. I got to see several relatives that I had not laid eyes on since 2005. Crazy right? I guess God was in the details because it turned out that my paternal family would be in Baltimore to celebrate my cousin receiving her Masters in Nursing. We started out with a Taco Game Night, where no games were played because we were too busy catching up, eating and drinking. On Saturday we had an actual birthday party that lasted late into the night. Sunday ended with a brunch. No party is complete unless my BFFs are in the house...each of them showed up to partake in the shenanigans and I’m sure they will all say it was worth the trip. I think Gerald was extremely pleased with they way everything turned out. No matter how far apart you are or how long it’s been, it’s great to come together and seem to have never missed a beat. Best takeaway from that weekend was that both brothers were in town at the same time so we could finally get a picture of them with both my sister and me. Trust me when I tell you, we are never in the same place at the same time. I’m including a collage so you can see how much fun was had.

Aren’t you sad you didn’t get to join us?

In Diva Love,

Pam 👑❤️😘

HelloFresh: A Review

Apparently food delivery is currently all the rage. Never one to miss an opportunity, I quickly jumped on utilizing the code sent to me by my BFF to try HelloFresh for free. Getting started was easy, quick, and painless. You are free to choose how often you get the service delivered. I think I'm going to try once each month. Delivery occurs on the day of the week of your choice. Three menu items will be selected so if you forget, you will be receiving those items in your box. There is a window of time to select the items that will come in your box. You get about 10-12 options and one of them will cost additional money-a higher value protein usually like duck or prime rib, averaging about $5 more /person. You also get to choose to utilize the vegan, classic or family plan. With the classic choice you choose if it will be for 2 or 4 people. I chose the classic plan for 2 people.

The box arrived on a Monday. It was organized and there were two huge ice packs to keep everything cold. Our box contained ingredients for Beef noodle bowls, Pork and apple burgers, and shrimp tagliatelle. I figured this gave us a wonderful variety of items to try and would breath a little inspiration into my meal planning routine. I like that there was a separate bag for each day's meal. The recipe cards were colorful and laid out well. The only items that weren't included in the bags were staple items that you'd have in your house already, like olive oil, salt, and pepper. My extremely picky son was intrigued by the whole idea and seemed most excited to try the pork burger dish.  The items can be refrigerated for up to 7 days or should be frozen. Everything sent had great coloring and appeared to be quite fresh. There was also an update included to ensure the best quality and taste for one of the recipes. The update was based on feedback from previous customers. 

As of last night, we tried every meal in our box. We loved all three of them. My only complaint is that for the shrimp tagliatelle recipe, there was no salad or bread to accompany the dish. The pork burger had sweet potato fries and a salad, and the beef noodle bowl contained veggies in addition to the pasta and beef. All of the items were fresh and plentiful. Nutrition information is also included. In some instance, HelloFresh does send more than the recipe calls for. None of the meals were labor intensive and all were able to be prepared within 20-50 minutes with minimal pots/dishes used. 

Would I do it again? Absolutely. Once you make the recipe, you see that you could go to the local grocery store and prepare the meals but then you have to do the shopping. Trust me, there will be that one item that you'd never remember to buy, nor would you have it on hand. For about $60/week, HelloFresh can do all the work for you. It would work for me as I average about 3 meals a week that I prepare and there are no leftovers-which my family isn't very fond of anyway. If you need inspiration, it's a good way to go. As I perused the various week's choices, I saw a good mixture of poultry, pork, and beef dishes to select from. There were Thai, Mexican, and Mediterranean inspired selections as well. So the choices are excellent and should satisfy the basic eater and the foodie too. Check out the pictures that I've included. If you are interested, please feel free to use the code to try the service at a discounted price: https://share.hellofresh.com/x/kj3j.  I doubt you'll be disappointed. Happy eating!

In Diva Love,

Pamela

My Loss, Heaven's Gain

I write this post with a heavy heart.  My words will probably not adequately convey exactly what I want to, nor will they express all the emotions that I am feeling-and I am feeling some kind of way. Still in the throes of trying to understand why my favorite artist, Prince was gone, I had to put those thoughts to rest and focus on someone much more tangible and important in my world. On Friday, April 29th, I had to deal with the very real loss of an individual who touched most every aspect of my life, being given her angel wings and taking her eternal rest. That person is my Grandmother, Leola Brown, who is known as Nanno to me and her other grand and great-grandchildren.

                                       

This loss can be summed up in so many ways, but I am going to count myself lucky to have had her for just shy of 48 years. Nanno almost made it to her 102nd birthday, which would have been celebrated in the best month of the year--June. June happens to be my birth month too.  I am happy to say that when our family comes together to say our final farewells, it will not be the first time she will be given her accolades. She has always been highly respected and celebrated among her family.  We each have been given both private and very public opportunities to express to her how loved, cherished and important she was to us.

After losing her husband of 52 years and all five of her siblings, Nanno was the matriarch of our family.  Not the ruling with an iron fist type of matriarch but a woman with a quiet observant nature who hated conflict. She was purposefully wise and full of strength and fortitude. She was comfortable in her skin and equally comfortable with her choices, even if you weren't in agreement with her decision. Once her mind was made up, you could pretty much save your arguments and pleas, the decision was pretty much final.

For most of my childhood and adolescent life, I had the fortune(although as a child, I don't think I viewed it this way) to grow up living right next door to my grandparents. I could just skip through my front or back yard and be at their house in seconds. Didn't like what my mom cooked, could look down into her kitchen to see if it would be better to eat over there. Could hear her and my grandfather every time they went in or out. Could catch a ride, could beg for money, and could sneak and use the phone when punished. Her basement was made for partying and gathering. Let's just say my sister-cousin Tracy and I made sure to utilize that in our teen years as well as our early adult years. What happened in the basement stayed in the basement.Like most grandparents, they spoiled us more than our parents. 

                                       

What I'll miss most especially as an adult who moved away from Cleveland were the times I could come home and roll in through her back door and have moments to myself. Those were the priceless conversations and moments to cherish. I gleaned so much wisdom from those interactions. I could see the pride that she had in our family's history and her desire to share that. I know that she truly believed and embraced the Lord's commandment to "honor your father and mother that your days may be prolonged in the Land which your Lord your God gives you. " (Exodus 20:12 NASB). Since I was a first hand witness of how she cared for her own mom in her later years, I take the charge to honor your parents quite seriously. I feel assured that my own mom will be around for quite a while for this same reason. As Nanno did before her, with her mother, Carrie Chappell, My mom handled her business very well when it came to Nanno. Not out of a sense of obligation but out of sheer respect for her as a mom and person. 

Those conversations were special because you never knew what Nanno had on her mind or what she might say. I learned a lot about trusting God and praying. I know I had a praying grandmother (insert Helen Baylor's voice here). I didn't grow up in a family who showed a great deal of affection or who verbalized their love for you. Do not interpret this as I grew up in a loveless family.  I certainly didn't. I grew up in a family where it should be assumed and assured by the sacrifices and hard work to make things happen that you were loved and cared for. But it was in these private conversations that Nanno expressed that she was proud of the person I'd become as well as in the way I went about it. These moments are where you heard the things you needed to encourage you and let you know that she noticed they way you lived your life and that she was totally aware of your heart. Her discernment skills were truly on point. I never heard Nanno verbalize an "I love you" until I was well into adulthood. Imagine my shock the first time she said it, but oh to know the joy and pleasure of that moment. It did not validate me, it let me know that each day is new and God still changes people and calls them to be more and more like Him. 

This  post could go on forever because there are a zillion things I can remember, cherish, and share about Nanno. I am tearing up now so I'm going to end with this. I am going to really miss Nanno. She was a rock. She was a pillar of strength and a pillar of the community. She was a mom, a grandmother, a great-grandma, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a Christian, a gardener, lover of yellow and Dancing with the Stars. She liked baseball and listening to the radio. She was an excellent fried chicken/fish, peach cobbler, biscuits, and macaroni and cheese cook. She hated to argue and was loyal. She quietly made things happen. She had high standards. She was dignified. She couldn't handle pain. She didn't drive but got wherever she wanted to go. She was giving and loving. She was wise. She was my favorite person. 

                                       

Her passing leaves a huge hole in my heart. I've never really done life without her. I'll miss her watchful eye and wise thoughts. I'll miss sitting down at her kitchen table to discuss what she's seen and observed in her life. A lot happens in a century. She experienced or witnessed the Great Depression, several wars, copious presidents, world tragedies, Jim Crow, South to North  migration, lots of births, deaths, marriages and divorces, space travel, so many inventions, technology, the election of Our first African-American president, assassinations of historical greats and the list goes on and on. 

As she entered the heavenly gates, not only was she welcomed into the arms of a Loving Jesus who could say nothing less than "well done my good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share Your Master's happiness." (Matthew 25:23 NIV), I stand assured she was greeted by countless loved ones who'd gone before. And the Angels rejoiced.

We too rejoice at the mark and legacy she left our family. We also mourn because a part of our hearts has received her eternal rest and reward and will no longer be here on earth with us. To be absent from the body is to be in the presence of the Lord. Nanno, I love you and you will always hold a very special place in my heart. Leola Brown you are no longer an earthly angel, you are now a heavenly angel and I hope to feel your presence daily as you watch over and guide us from above.

Tearfully submitted 

In Diva love,

Pam 😘

Nontraditional Traditions

Are you placing more emphasis on your Christmas being Merry or on it being Meaningful? Now that can be a loaded question. No need to take cover, no shots are being fired. One of my devotions placed emphasis on that question and I had already been thinking about this post. I considered it confirmation and so here I am. I love Christmas and I hate stress but somehow the two often get linked. I have to be intentional about why I love Christmas. It's because I love the miracle of the Christ child's birth and all it represents to me as a Christian woman. It is also because I love the music and smells of the season. O Holy Night can bring me to tears, its my favorite Christmas song, I have several renditions on my play list. It's also a chance to really hang out with my children and people I love. Trying to find a few perfect gifts for the ones I love simply makes the time a little sweeter. 

What makes the time special are the little things we do. They aren't necessarily unique to us and our home but they are the things that bond us and keep us centered. Those are the family traditions that we have adopted over the years. As the children have gotten older, some things have gone away and been replaced and others remain in place. You can always introduce a new tradition, there is no limit to what your family can do to make your Christmas special and unique. My hope is not only that these things will be passed on but that my children will look back on those moments and cherish them  in their hearts with fondness.

These are some of the things we do:

       1. The Christmas tree always goes up the first weekend in December. We only have one tree. The decor can change from year to year. It must come down by New Years Day.  My grandma said every year should have it's own tree. It works for me. 
       2.  We purchase one personalized ornament every year. Everyone in the house goes on the ornament-yes even the dogs. My favorite one is from the year my cousin was living in our basement with her dog and we had two dogs of our own. That particular ornament is a Christmas tree and every one's name made it on an ornament. Adorbs. 
       3.  My children build gingerbread houses/villages/ninja people. I love that. They have gone from little messy homes to neat ones with lots of thought, care, and precision. They make up some of my favorite candid pictures. Last year my daughter even had several friends come and they did theirs at our house to. They had theme and got a little competitive. That warmed my heart. 
        4. Pajamas are given on Christmas Eve night. We stay in them all day on Christmas. Let me not forget that there will be a photo shoot of  my minis in said pajamas. The beauty of that is I can really see how much they've grown and changed over the years. Now there is is a moment of nostalgia for you. 
        5. Our stockings give us life. Everyone has to contribute to the other family member's stockings. There is no real limit to what one can do. For some reason, it has become one of the best parts of our Christmas celebration. Normally, I put favorite candies and small gift cards into them. One may find purse sized items or any number of unexpected items in the stocking. I usually find mini bottles of spirits and lottery scratch-off tickets. Yes, I like going into mine as much as they do. 
        6. We do a huge breakfast on Christmas morning and a very non-traditional meal in the evening. Dinner can range from surf and turf, to Italian, to very heavy appetizers. That appetizer meal was one of my favorites. 
         7. We no longer do a birthday cake for Jesus. We used to and we'd sing "Happy Birthday" and everything. We tried doing cupcakes but there was less enthusiasm for that tradition as the kids got older. 
         8. This year, I am introducing a new tradition. Unbeknownst to him, my son will be reading the original Christmas story straight from the book of Luke. 

There are tons of other things that can be done. Remember Christmas is more about giving than receiving.  It's a lesson I tried to instill early on so that my children will always find that being charitable is in style, no matter what you have going on personally. I would love for you to share some things your family does to make the season personal. Some things seem insignificant but you really don't know the impact you are having on your children till they get older. 

I hope you find the real true meaning of Christmas reflected in all you do. Take a moment each day to reflect on God's love and be intentional about sharing that love. The world is in dire need of seeing Christ in you. Not sure if I will post again before 2016, so please have a safe and blessed Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa. If you find that you are lacking, choose to begin a tradition and make it happen annually. Don't look back and see that you had a Merry Christmas without meaning. You want to look back and see A merry Christmas filled with the meaning of the season. Jesus is the reason for the season and without Christ, There'd be no Christmas. 

Merry CHRISTmas to you and your family. May 2016 be filled with the best and brightest blessings that God can bestow upon you! 

In Diva Love,

Pam

December Randomness

Thanksgiving is last week's news. We are now on our way to what has to be the craziest season of indulgent consumerism. No matter what it is, it is still the most wonderful time of year for me. I absolutely love Christmas. I love it because it is the celebration of my dear Savior's birth. I love Christmas music. As I type this blog, I am listening to "O Holy Night." It is one of my favorite Christmas songs ever. I enjoy the mood of the season. I also take pleasure in doing for others.

While Thanksgiving was last week, I just wanna say it was one of the best ever for me. Not only did my mom come to visit, but I had the pleasure of having my brother coming to visit too. You may be thinking that it really isn't a big deal. It is a big deal to me and here's why. I sat racking my brain for days about the last time he and I sat down and even shared that holiday. I came up with Thanksgiving of 1997. That was 18 years ago y'all. Crazy right?

For two weeks, I've had the pleasure of just hanging out with him and catching up. Don't take your relationships for granted. Family matters. It's been a year of many change. For me, it was good to lay eyes on him for several reason. For my mom, it gave her the opportunity to lay eyes on both her children at the same time. It happens very rarely. I mean hardly ever. For my children, it was a chance to get to know their uncle better. My son needed that. In fact, I am hoping they will continue to bond better once he's gone. My brother is wise and he is a great dad.  Did I mention, he makes great chocolate chip cookies too? Seriously, social media, cell phones, and the like have you thinking you are connected,  and to some small degree, you are; but the personal touch, being in the presence of an individual are priceless moments compared to a screen or phone. I hate that he lives so far away. Texas is far y'all. Maybe I'll convince him to move to Virginia. Pray with me. By the way our Thanksgiving feast was all that. my sister and I put our toes in that meal. Everything was really tasty. We ended the night with family games which are always competitive and hysterically funny.

Last night, we watched The Wiz live with most of Black America. One of my closest girlfriends, discovered "Black Twitter." That was absolutely hilarious to me. I admit, I am a die hard Stephanie Mills fan. Girlfriend has some chops on her petite self and she can blow. Shanice Wilson had huge shoes to fill. For a complete newbie, I think she did a great job. The contemporary version left me satisfied and confirmed that there is room for more than one interpretation of anything. The costumes were colorful and bright and very well done. Evilene's make was absolutely flawless. I think the choreography was good too. I missed Toto but I understood that a live performance would probably be a bit much for the pooch to handle. Say what you will, there will always be some haters out there who are dedicated to the original or the Broadway stage play. It is not easy to pull off what that cast did but I think they did a great job. Shanice performed well for a first gig and no real training. She did not move me with her performance of "Home." Of course I must admit that that is my favorite song of all time and well no one does it like Stephanie Mills. It's impossible.

As has become the norm, acts of violence are happening everywhere. Some of us are appalled, others believe these acts are conspiracies designed to evoke fear, and others simply seem not to care. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, one thing is clear. Human life is no longer a valued commodity. We must be ever vigilant and even more prayerful. Life is but a vapor and while God has always made that clear, we need to embrace the thought. 

On that note, I close by encouraging you to love your people well. Be intentional in your interactions and be present for the moments. God is always in the details. As Christmas approaches remember that there are folks who don't enjoy the holidays. Find a way to brighten their day. Then remember the less fortunate. They need you in non-holiday months too. Kindness doesn't cost a thing. Finally, remember Jesus is the reason for the season. Make sure that you reflect the love of Christ in all you do. The world needs to see His sacrificial love in you. Be blessed and by all means, be a blessing. Peace. 

In Diva love, 

Pam

A Part of My Heart Stayed Behind

This past weekend, I embarked on a journey that would seem to be fraught with emotion. The thing is, it wasn't. I felt a wide range of emotions, but mostly a profound sense of nostalgia. I packed up my vehicle for a 7-8 hour trip to take one of my most precious possessions, my firstborn, mini-me, to begin her college career. She aspires to be a female Anthony Bourdain--her words not mine. In actuality, her plans include  becoming a chef, restaurateur, food blogger, and world class traveler who eats and critiques her  way through  as many countries  as she can. 

All I kept thinking is that this newly minted adult would be on her own making life choices and decisions without me  intervening. Don't mis-read this....I  am not a hover mother but I am an involved opinionated parent. In my mind, my daughter would always be the wide-eyed baby that came out of the womb looking around, with a sense of wisdom and wonder. She has transformed into a lovely young lady. She's intelligent, tenacious, and also opinionated. I have prepared her to soar. I have instilled prayer, integrity and high values in her.  Now it's her time. There will be ups and downs, trials and tribulations, triumphs and failures but she knows  that in most cases, there can be do-overs and makeovers, there are plan Bs,Cs,...and Zs. More importantly, she is keenly aware that she has me and a huge support system that will get her through any life issue or crisis. She knows that though she may disappoint at times, she is loved  unconditionally and that our support is unwavering. 

Times have changed since I was a college student  bright with promise. Things are definitely more liberal. Yet I have prayed and cried and cried and prayed over this child. I think she will hold fast to her convictions and will not be easily swayed y her peers. I pray she makes wise choices and does the right thing. These four years are going to really shape the person she will ultimately become. Her choices in life are not a reflection of how well  I did or did  not parent. 

No matter what choices may come and what reservations or fears that I may have, I know without a shadow of a doubt that God has written EVERY one of her days and while I may not  be there, He is ALWAYS there.  It's time for her to completely trust Him to guide her through all of her days and give her wisdom when she faces challenges. It's time for  me to  relinquish the control I had over  His child-ever thankful that He trusted her to me for these past 17 years. It's time for me  to watch my baby really grow and soar to new heights. I am happy and excited, sad, and waiting in anticipation. While the parting was bittersweet, it was necessary. So there were no tears, just huge hugs and joy(and possibly pain) of the days to come as I left a big part of my heart in Providence, RI.

In Diva Love,

Pam

Double Duty Cuties

Yesterday was Father's Day. A day we celebrate the men who contribute to a child coming into the world.  As I perused Facebook, it made my heart glad to see the number of fathers actively involved in the lives of their children.  That's a beautiful thing. It's also the right thing.  Fathers should be actively involved  in their childrens' lives-physically, emotionally, and financially.As I continued to peruse social media, I also saw various postings about mothers who wanted to be celebrated in the absence of the father, and postings about  how those women are not fathers.  Don't we just love social media.

As a child, I was raised by a single mother who did a damn good job, I can clearly state, she was not my father, nor was she a father figure. My father wasn't absent but he was barely active. So while I knew that I was very loved  by him, he failed to show me the things daughters need their fathers to show them. I am thankful that  I had a grandfather who filled a lot of that void.God always gives you what you need.

The bottom line is this. Single parenting is not a new thing. Most mothers will do what they need to do for their children, especially in the absence of  a father. A good mother will not bad mouth the father to their kids. They don't have to, because eventually they will see what kind of man he is and whether or not he has any character. Children don't need presents, they need his presence. I don't agree with or condone women who don't  allow men to interact with their children because he isn't paying child support. What I do loathe is a father who has access and opportunity to his children and fails to take full advantage that opportunity. Those trifling men do exist. Sadly, they lose out on a chance to impact their children's lives in  great ways and small. 

Women are nurturers by nature and for, that reason, they will  always try to fill a void. Women often have to do double duty for their children in the absence of the father and I know it is not easy. Some men put the women in that position, others make the choice unwisely. God is the Ultimate Father and refers to himself in the male gender. Women are not males thus no Father's Day celebration for you. You deserve praise for holding it down and handling your business (and his). Mother's Day is for you. Your kids will eventually recognize the sacrifices  you made and  the  hard work it took to  do everything to make their  lives as  normal and  successful as  possible. Be content with the fact that you are a double duty cutie. Just as God provides, He sees all and knows all. He specifically knows what you can handle and with prayer and probably a little help from friends,  you and your children will be all right. 

I end  with this quote from Jan Ambu: Being a father is a choice, Staying true to fatherhood is a   
duty. 

In Diva Love,

Pam

Just the Emotions

In six days, my oldest child will graduate from high school. While she has had Senioritus, pretty much all year, her excitement level has reached a whole new level. For me, it's bittersweet. Since my blog is my therapy, I just need to express the range of emotions that I am feeling today. 

I am proud of the woman she's becoming. I am anticipating the impact that she will have on her piece of the world. I am reluctant to turn my firstborn loose. I have prepared her well but life still has away of issuing out tough experiences. I am happy to see that she is independent, strong, full of passion with just the right amount of cynicism. I am saddened  by how quickly time flies. I am losing a person that I have shaped and molded for the past 17 years, a TV/Netflix watching buddy, an eating/sleeping machine, and an incredible ball of moody/hormonal energy.  This Fall,my house will significantly quieter but as she is learning who she is, I will be learning to define myself  in her absence. Stay tuned for  the progression. It's time to watch the Cavs whip the Warriors. Peace!


In Diva Love,

Pam

Thankful Me

Happy Thanksgiving to each of you! Right now, I am sitting here with a full tummy watching football with my family. It's a good night even though some family is not here-they are in other places. I am so thankful that we had an awesome meal-My fam can throw down in the kitchen so we are never disappointed.. I am blessed to be in North Carolina with my sister in law, niece, and nephew. It has been nine and a half years since I've seen the kids, who are now wonderful young adults.

I am reminded that despite the trials and tribulations that I experience daily, God is good and I remain extremely blessed even when the lessons are painful. I am here with my children. We arrived safely despite the rain and even a bit of snow that followed us from Virginia to North Carolina. It is a blessing to see the children all interact without any awkwardness. It is also funny to see them all sitting on the sofa with at least one device in hand. It's driving my sister in law nuts.

I have heard from almost all the people who mean the most to me. I have posted a thankful post every day this month on Facebook. Some days, my posts were deep and others, they were mundane and frivolous but still, I had much to be thankful for. Not just during this season, but every day of the year. The holidays are difficult for many but hopefully despite missing their loved ones, they too realize that they are blessed.

God has always been good to me. He shows me favor in great ways and small. Any problems or worries usually end up being a waste of time and energy. I simply need to remember that He has never ever left me alone or without a solution better than I could conceive for myself. I am trying daily to surrender all to Him--all my fears, troubles, worries, desires, and burdens. It is not easy but it does build my faith.

If you are reading my blog, you too have many reasons to be thankful. You are here. You are breathing. You woke up this morning. You have electricity. You have food, clothing, and shelter. You have enough. In other words, you are blessed.  I hope you have given thanks with a grateful heart. As we wind down the year, remember to bless others. Pay it forward in some small way. Be kind, be giving, and smile. Let the love of Christ and all that He has done for you shine brightly throughout this season. Count your blessings!

In Diva Love,

Pam

Nuevo Vallarta, Mexico

We had a fantastic vacation! Nuevo Vallarta is a beautiful place about twenty minutes from Puerta Vallarta with beautiful people. They are laid back and quite friendly. The city is extremely big on keeping the area very eco friendly. It is a majestic place with a laid back vibe. The city is not a rich one but the people seem happy nonetheless.

We stayed at a Dreams Resort which was all inclusive. If you are looking for a nice hotel to relax and have a chill vacation, check out Dreams Villamagna. You will enjoy the experience.  The best way to describe the trip would be as a cruise that never left the port. There were daily activities, a daily drink, and nightly live performances. The hotel prided itself on customer service and I must say that they did a wonderful job meeting our expectations. We celebrated DJ's 9th birthday while there and they were gracious enough to accommodate our request to have a birthday cake in his honor. What they did was set up a small birthday party at the Explorer's Club, the hotel's kid place where adults were not allowed, complete with a pinata. Too say he was pleased would be an understatement.

And pleased he should've been. We started that day with a family dolphin encounter. The dolphin encounter was an phenomenal experience. We got into the water with another family and then we each had an opportunity to feed, kiss, pet, and dance with a dolphin. Now how cool is that?  If you are in Nuevo or Puerto Vallarta, I strongly recommend that you check out Vallarta Adventures to book your excursions or adventures. That company is absolutely fantastic! Not only do they provide the dolphin encounter but for more money you can swim with or train the dolphins for a day.
We also did two other activities with Vallarta Adventures. On Monday, after being served breakfast, we took a catamaran to a private island called Las Caletas. It was beautiful and situated on and around a mountain. While there, one could scuba or snorkel. I got a really good massage. I also learned how to make paella. YUM! We had an opportunity to encounter both a monkey and parrot with photo ops for both. DJ also got experience a series of zip lines. They served a fantastic lunch. We were entertained by a great staff on the boat. On Friday, we did a tour of a small fishing village called Yelapa(pictured above). Yelapa is just now getting electricity. The kids took a horse back ride up the mountains to the waterfall. The waterfall was really a trickle because it has not been a productive rainy season in Mexico so far this year. We did some kayaking and snorkeling there too. The jellyfish were very prevalent that day so the touring company was extremely cautious scouting out where the snorkeling would happen. Of all the activities we did with Vallarta Adventures, I would have to say that the crew we went out with on Friday was the best in terms of interacting with the guests and making the whole catamaran ride the best. I have to give a shout out to Giovanni and his crew.  They were so much fun and extremely personable. Not a person on the boat had a complaint in the world.

We took a taxi to Busceria on Thursday and spent a couple hours at a Mexican flea market. We made sure we did this on a day that the cruise lines were not in port because prices tend to be higher then. Chante learned the fine art of haggling. Both she and DJ got to see first hand life in a Mexican village. They were constantly reminded that they live blessed lives. In both Yelapa and Busceria(on the beach too), they saw first hand how young children are out trying to help to support their families. The children sell small souvenirs, pies, and even meat on a stick to aid their families survival. We talked to various staff members too. While the cost of living is very cheap in comparison to our own, the people there struggle to maintain their daily necessities and they live a much simpler life than we do.

As for the food, it was good. Some things worked better than others. There were several restaurants on the resort to choose from, offering a range of things to eat.  There was a Mexican place, an Italian place which was more upscale, and a seafood restaurant. There was a daily buffet and a casual grill like place. Of course there was 24 hour room service. There was also a roof top sky bar which had a sushi bar to boot. We could eat as much as we wanted, pretty much whenever we wanted. The nightly shows were also nice. They were colorful and entertaining. I give it to the performers because they were enthusiastic whether the show was well attended or not, and you could tell they gave their all for the audiences enjoyment.

In all, we had a great time as a family. My kids would complain that we made them get up early to attend the excursions but seriously, they had a ball. We felt safe and met some wonderful people. Vacations are for memories and we have plenty of those. We are already thinking about our next trip. Wherever we go, we know we will make the most of meeting the people and immersing ourselves in the culture. Whether you travel far or near, a vacation also gives you a new focus ad renews your spirits. If a vacation is in your plan, check out www.dreamydestinations.net there are some superb deals out there. Till next time, God bless!


Copyright July 26, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Happy Birthday, Dmitri II!!

Nine years ago, I was blessed with a beautiful baby boy! Time definitely flies. Dmitri Jean Anthony Thorpe II, whom we call "DJ," was born at 2:13 PM on a warm summer day.  He weighed in at 7 pounds 11 ounces. The whole time I was pregnant Chante kept telling people her brother was coming on July13th despite the fact that my due date was July 17th. Needless to say that child jinxed me (SN: I did not want him to be born on Friday the 13th because it would be just wrong, not superstitious, I just didn't like it).


On the 13th, I had a doctor's appointment at 10. I went happily out of my house with a croissant in hand and a fresh hair do. Hubby was going to be 90 miles away at one of his satellite offices and I cautioned him that there would be no cause for alarm. DJ was content and no dilation had occurred and I feared he would be very late. It was mid July and I was in a wedding exactly six weeks later for one of my best friends, Dana. Anyhoo, I digress. The nurse went to track his heartbeat and I remember telling her that I felt really sleepy and cold. She was a new nurse and was looking on his chart telling me that "Your baby is never in the same place when we try to get heartbeat." I laughed. I thought I dozed off. I opened my eyes to an alarmed nurse and a doctor who had not been standing there before. The doctor says, "Mrs. Thorpe, looks like you are going to have that baby today(DAMN CHANTE!), an ambulance is on its way to transport you to the hospital." Ugh excuse me, my hubby is 90 miles away and why? I had a seizure and I was 39 weeks. So off I was going to the hospital for tests and then to be safe to induce labor and bring DJ into the world. UMM yeah, not quite the day I had in mind.


Long story, short...I am whisked off to the hospital where I am given an EKG. There went my cute hair because what? I had an updo! I also had an MRI. Not fun when you are 9 months pregnant. Let's note that I never had a seizure before(and haven't had one since). Dmitri drove like a maniac and made it to the hospital in God you were blessed not have gotten a ticket time. My girlfriend, Rose beat the ambulance there. I was worried about leaving my car at the doctor's and about getting some food. Late that evening I was finally induced. DJ wasn't trying to leave the womb and my physician was going to stop the induction and send me home. After a "come to Jesus" discussion with Dmitri, induction was stepped up. I spent the night in the hospital with my friend, Jeanine(my only friend to miss Chante's birth) at my side. Let's just say that I never peed so much in my life. A sista could have no food and I was evil. I had an IV and I could have apple juice flavored ice chips. WTF? Pitocin induced labor is not fun. They stepped that up on the morning of the 14th and I requested an epidural. At that point, I was dilated only 6 cm. I got the best anesthesiologist ever and she hooked me up.As soon as she shot me and gave me more because I still felt pain, I felt DJ drop, told the doctor it was time to push and she thought I was wrong. After I told her that "if my baby hit the floor I would kill everybody in the room," she took me more seriously, warned me not to push but still looked like I knew not what I was talking about, and advised another doc in the room to check me. He told her, "Yep the baby's head is right there." Everyone went into hyper mode but me because I could only think of Pepsi and good food. Three pushes and he was here. Yea me! He was healthy, Yea me again! Get me some damn food now!


DJ is such a sweet kid. He has a really caring and concerned spirit and very laid back nature. He really is an old man trapped in a nine year old body. He does not like controversy and he wants everyone to be friends. He is a peacemaker. He loves everything Star Wars. He is a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan and he's recently become very much into the Military Channel and World War II.  He likes to read and he is wrestling fan. I love that he is sensitive and has a great sense of humor. When he's confident, you can't tell him anything. His love language is unequivocally words of affirmation.

I have high hopes and expectations for Dmitri. At this age, he wants to be many things...a teacher, a firefighter, a soldier, an illustrator. I constantly tell him that he can be whatever his little heart desires. I know that one day, he will be a kind, sensitive husband and an engaged father. He will be diplomatic and passionate about making his dreams come true. He will make his mark in his characteristic, quiet and determined way. He will always make me smile. He is not afraid to be affectionate and his charm will open doors for him. I could go on and on but I'll end here for now! So today, with a grateful heart, I say, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Dmitri!!! My sweet and handsome son. May God bless you today and always, and May He smile richly upon your future!"

Family Matters & Forgiveness Does Too

Hey Y'all! I had a wonderful weekend! After celebrating our 14th Anniversary, we moved on to the Memorial Day weekend festivities. Guess who came to dinner? My mom and my brother made a quick dash from Cleveland. Yea me! I hadn't seen my brother since March, 2007. I was missing him like crazy. I just needed to lay my own eyes on him to know that he really is okay. He had surgery last week and I was concerned.


It was a chill weekend but we just had a nice time. Anything we do involves food and so this weekend was no exception. My brother grilled and my sister and I hooked up some sides. We threw down(as usual!). I'm sure you all had your own fun times but you know I think time spent with family is priceless. Moreso, when everyone is scattered all over the place. I think that I've mentioned that I hate that my kids are not growing up near their grandma, I lived next door to mine and I can't imagine life without that experience.


All that aside, family matters. Those are supposed to be the people with whom you can best relate and be yourself. I encourage you to keep the family bonds as tight as you can. Trust me, my family is and can be dysfunctional. Do you know any that are not? If you do, I think it is a facade. Everyone has some stuff, some secrets, and some issues that keep things interesting. Shit happens but it is best to resolve the issues and move on. It makes no sense for years to pass without you speaking to your mama, sister, cousin, and even your friends. Seasons can end in friendship but not in families.


No matter what, your family determines some of who you are(even if you turn your back on them). We are all the sum of our parts. That includes the good the bad and even the ugly. It is the choices that we make that will determine its impact on our lives. So what have you chosen? Really, it is all about forgiveness. I know I am sounding somewhat repetitive but forgiveness matters. Life is too short to hold grudges. Most of the time, people don't even remember why they are angry. If you call yourself a Christian, I challenge you to think about this; Christ died on the cross to blot out every sin-past, present, and future, that we would commit. I think it would pain Jesus to have given us this precious gift and then we turn around and can't forgive someone for wronging us. Surely, you are no better than Jesus!


It doesn't take much to be civil. You don't have to be friends. You should have each other's backs. A family function shouldn't cause the host to stress out about how folks are going to act. Ahh but I've digressed yet again. I just wanted to share how much it meant for my brother who flew in to Cleveland from Texas to celebrate the nuptials of his best friend to drive to Virgina to see little ole me. It's a lengthy drive for a less than 48 hour visit. I am worth it though. Despite the brevity of the visit, there is just something about being together with those you love, that makes everything okay.

It is simply comforting to just be with your family with no agenda. Memories are created in those moments. The moments are precious because life is not promised and things change moment by moment. Who wants to live with the guilt of some petty unresolved issue. In the words of my dad, "Life to the fullest! No regrets!" Wouldn't it be a shame for something to happen, and you did not forgive someone? Wouldn't it be worse for something to happen to someone and you live in the same city but hadn't spoken for several years? I certainly think so but it isn't about what I think. I hope it is what I've inspired in you. Hint:Forgive, resolve, and move on! I am out of here for now. Peace!


Copyright June 1, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Happy Mother's Day

Tomorrow we celebrate Mothers as we do every second Sunday in May. It is fitting that I honor the woman who made me who I am. Ernestine B. Cole, this post is for you. I just want to let you know that I love you and cherish our relationship. Who'd a thunk that we'd become such great friends who respect and admire each other so much? At 15 and 16, I couldn't see that this would be our existence. I know I gave you the hardest time and I wasn't even a wild child. You did your best and I think Gerald and I turned out to be great individuals.

You instilled in us the greatest values and character traits. I am grateful for the time you invested playing Scrabble, which is both Gerald and my favorite game to this day, baking cookies(I still love those darn Nestle's Toll House Chocolate Chip Cookies), and doing the regular things that good mommies do. I appreciate the fact that though divorced from my dad(RIP), you never bashed him but let us determine our own feelings for him ourselves.

We are not the same, but each day, I realize how much more like you that I am becoming. Funny as a kid, we think we never want to be like our parents but alas, one day we look up and it is exactly who we've become. I only pray that I took the bests parts of what you taught me to instill in Chanté and DJ. I just wish they had the opportunity to grow up closer to you. I really enjoyed living next door to Nanno and Grandpa(RIP). The experience was priceless. I took it for granted but now I see how important and how much of an impact it was to have as much as your village around you as possible. They filled a void and stood in the gap when you needed a helping hand.

Mom, there is a lot that I could say but you know how I feel. You gave me the gift of life and for that alone I love you. You taught me to be be independent as well as how to be a survivor. You taught me the importance of being a good communicator and the gift of encouraging other people. You made the necessary sacrifices to invest quality time in our relationship. Though there were ups and there were downs, we came through it all. As an adult, I am glad to call you a friend. You are still a woman that I admire and respect. You don't meet a person you will not remember and your gift of gab always shines through. You come from strong stock and I know that has been given to me.

Though time and distance, as well as life responsibilities keep us apart, I know that I can always call on you and that you will always be here for me. Whether I need an ear to listen or little advice to get by, I know that I can count on you. We've weathered some storms and there is no other person with whom I can let my hair down and just be me. I like that you don't pry into my marriage or criticize my parenting skills. You uplift and encourage every step of the way. Continue to be the sweet spirit that you are. I know you've sacrificed much and sometimes received little in return. God will honor and bless you! With all my love and from my heart to yours, Mommy, I salute you! I hope you have the bet day ever. You deserve it. I know the best gift of all is if we were all there to celebrate it with you.

I can't do a Mother's Day post without giving a shout out to my Grandmother, Nanno. Without her, none of us would be who we are. She is a proud woman with a quiet reserve. She is humble and giving and she is full of wisdom. She has borne hurts and stresses without becoming downtrodden or mean spirited. I love her as much as I love my mother. She values her dysfunctional family and she wants us to be aware of our family history. She definitely embraces ambition and independence Happy Mother's Day, Nanno. I love you too!

To the Mothers to be, start praying now for wisdom and throw all your preconceived notions out of the window. A new baby will teach you more about yourself than you will teach them in the beginning. To all the Mothers, Grandmothers, Godmothers, aunts, sisters, step moms, mother in laws, sisters, cousins, foster moms, teachers, and moms by default may you continue to nurture and encourage the children entrusted to you. This generation needs every single one of you and then some. God bless you all and have a relaxing Mother's Day!

Copyright May 8, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Happy Birthday, Chante!!!!

Twelve years ago today, I gave birth to my first child. It was a beautiful winter day and snow was falling from the sky. Labor began around 5:45 AM with my water breaking. I felt no contractions whatsoever. Dmitri and I knew we were having a girl and we had already decided that she would be named Chante Aliya. Let me just say that labor is work but the fruit of labor is worth every moment.

Chante's birth was interesting, to say the least. I had a very close group of friends and Chante was really the first birth in our little circle. Dmitri was adamant that no one would be present in the delivery room. Yea, well that went out of the window rather quickly. While I won't bore you all with the details, Chante was born at 5:12 PM weighing over 7.5lbs about 20 inches long. Present at her birth were several of my closest friends who helped get me through the birthing process and who have and will impact both Chante and I for many years to come. Chante came out of the womb and just looked around. No tears, just wide eyed and bushy-tailed with a head full of hair and very fat cheeks. My very wise grandmother said, "She's going to be something, that's just a sign." Yea, well Nanno is hardly ever wrong, so like Mary, mother of Jesus, I pondered that, in my heart.

Chante is something. She is an old soul in many ways. She accepted Jesus Christ as her Personal Savior at the young age of four. She requested to be baptized several months later. She is perceptive. She is unique in her sense of style and personality. She is outspoken and articulate. That runs in her genes. She is very stubborn and always wants things to go her way. Chante is asthmatic but never lets that interfere with her zest for life. Chante has the potential to be a leader. She has the gift of gab and her friends seem to look to her for guidance. Chante is unaware of her magnetism and potential. She is keenly aware that Dmitri and I have very high expectations for her and her brother. My desire is for her to realize the potential and not be afraid to use her influence in a positive way. I keep telling her it will liberate her and her friends from conforming to the status quo.

I could go on and on about my daughter. I love her from the bottom of my heart. She has brought me joy and pain. She makes me smile and laugh. I am amazed at her fierce determination and her conviction about things she is passionate about. Yes, she is a fickle, hormonal tween, but she can also be a loving big sister who is very competitive. She will impact the world, about that, I have no doubt. For now, I am enjoying watching her grow up and become a young woman. I hope that her faith in God, her sheer loquaciousness, and her extreme determination will carry her far and open doors for her. She has big dreams and knowing her like I do, NOTHING will stand in her way. So today, with a grateful heart, I say, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Chante, My sweet child. May God bless you today and always, and May He smile richly upon your future!"

Copyright December 27, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe