In Diva Love,
Pamela 👑💯❤️
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Friday, February 10, 2017
Who Am I?-2nd Post
Last night I was speaking to a friend and all throughout the conversation, she kept reminding me who we are as African American mothers, daughters, friends, and workers. It made me realize that it was time to evaluate who I am at this moment. Whenever I write one of these posts, it will be incomplete because we as women wear so many hats. Several posts won't even begin to capture the complete essence of who we are on our best day, let alone our worst.
I explained to her that while I am transparent, I had held back so much for the past three years in order to protect someone who is far from innocent in shaping the person that I am today. That person doesn't hold any power in my life but they are petty so, as usual I chose to be the bigger person. In making that choice, I didn't have the freedom to express myself completely or freely so my public writing had to take a backseat.
Today, I am no longer bound or beholden to that limitation. Hopefully it will translate into me writing more here in this outlet, instead of privately in my ever-growing journal collection. With all that being said, I just realized that I am writing this very fitting post on the anniversary of the day my ex-husband asked for a divorce three years ago.
So who am I today? I am a happily divorced woman who still loves love. I am a mother of two children who make me laugh and scream all in a matter of minutes. I would give my life for both of them. I can't wait to see how they utilize their powers for good and impact the world at large. I am a daughter. My mother is a supportive, emotionally strong woman and even when she doesn't let me get a word in edgewise, I know she loves me unconditionally and would help me in any way she can. I am a sister. I love my siblings wholly and uniquely. We never asked to be blended but we have forged relationships that will stand the test of time. I am a Christian. I love the Lord with my everything. Please don't translate that as I am perfect. I still curse. I still think bad things, I still make mistakes. I serve a perfect Savior, I am not perfect. I am a beautifully flawed woman who wants to be a blessing to others and do better daily. This means I will more than likely choose to be the bigger person even when I don't want to. A couple days ago, my mom reminded me that my grandmother would always say you have to do what's right in your heart even when others don't. Yeah-I am living proof of that especially as these past three years have transpired. I don't say that to pat myself on the back either. It was hard, but I am who I am and I usually do the right thing, even when it hurts.
On this day three years ago, my world shifted. There was uncertainty in every arena of my existence. Today, I am a survivor. Oh, I always knew I was strong and resilient but there was hurt, pain, and doubt trying to steal my joy. I am here to encourage you that on what can seemingly be the worst day of your life, there is a God and there is hope. The days ahead may be dark and you may not know exactly how you are going to make it. Don't ever give up. I prayed a lot. I took time to sit with the changes. I didn't make any rush decisions, although there was certainly pressure to do so. Not only was my confidence in the strength and character that I always had, boosted, God provided so many rams in the bush that I had to stop worrying and doubting and continue to be a positive example of His love and character. Tough times show you exactly who you are. You have to be true to yourself because you really don't know who is watching and what impact you will have on them. Go out an figure out who you are. Are you using your powers for good? Be a blessing, no matter what your circumstances. I sure hope that can be said of me.
In Diva Love,
Pamela
I explained to her that while I am transparent, I had held back so much for the past three years in order to protect someone who is far from innocent in shaping the person that I am today. That person doesn't hold any power in my life but they are petty so, as usual I chose to be the bigger person. In making that choice, I didn't have the freedom to express myself completely or freely so my public writing had to take a backseat.
Today, I am no longer bound or beholden to that limitation. Hopefully it will translate into me writing more here in this outlet, instead of privately in my ever-growing journal collection. With all that being said, I just realized that I am writing this very fitting post on the anniversary of the day my ex-husband asked for a divorce three years ago.
So who am I today? I am a happily divorced woman who still loves love. I am a mother of two children who make me laugh and scream all in a matter of minutes. I would give my life for both of them. I can't wait to see how they utilize their powers for good and impact the world at large. I am a daughter. My mother is a supportive, emotionally strong woman and even when she doesn't let me get a word in edgewise, I know she loves me unconditionally and would help me in any way she can. I am a sister. I love my siblings wholly and uniquely. We never asked to be blended but we have forged relationships that will stand the test of time. I am a Christian. I love the Lord with my everything. Please don't translate that as I am perfect. I still curse. I still think bad things, I still make mistakes. I serve a perfect Savior, I am not perfect. I am a beautifully flawed woman who wants to be a blessing to others and do better daily. This means I will more than likely choose to be the bigger person even when I don't want to. A couple days ago, my mom reminded me that my grandmother would always say you have to do what's right in your heart even when others don't. Yeah-I am living proof of that especially as these past three years have transpired. I don't say that to pat myself on the back either. It was hard, but I am who I am and I usually do the right thing, even when it hurts.
On this day three years ago, my world shifted. There was uncertainty in every arena of my existence. Today, I am a survivor. Oh, I always knew I was strong and resilient but there was hurt, pain, and doubt trying to steal my joy. I am here to encourage you that on what can seemingly be the worst day of your life, there is a God and there is hope. The days ahead may be dark and you may not know exactly how you are going to make it. Don't ever give up. I prayed a lot. I took time to sit with the changes. I didn't make any rush decisions, although there was certainly pressure to do so. Not only was my confidence in the strength and character that I always had, boosted, God provided so many rams in the bush that I had to stop worrying and doubting and continue to be a positive example of His love and character. Tough times show you exactly who you are. You have to be true to yourself because you really don't know who is watching and what impact you will have on them. Go out an figure out who you are. Are you using your powers for good? Be a blessing, no matter what your circumstances. I sure hope that can be said of me.
In Diva Love,
Pamela
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
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