Don't Look Back, You're Not Going that Way!!!

Well, this is it! 2011 will officially become the past in a matter of hours. For many of us, myself included, it will be a time to reflect and renew. Out with the old and in with the new. For each person, 2011 has it's own set of memories, some great and others awful. No matter what has happened, if you are reading this post, it means you survived and made it through. Our experiences become the sum of our lives. Those experiences are our best teachers of how to move forward and continue processing this thing called LIFE. It is important to let those things go and remain a small part of our life journey. Each day holds its own set of drama and experiences. Holding on to past hurts and regrets will make you depressed and bring you down. Nobody likes dealing with Debbie Downer all the time. 

As we usher in 2012, many of us will make resolutions and promises. Some will be kept and others will be long forgotten before the 31st day of January. We all have an idea of what we think defines perfection in our lives. God knows better than we do, and often times, He has a totally different plan set for us. Whatever the path, be it easy to navigate or in need of a lot of direction, He remains in control. We simply need to stay in His will and walk the walk and talk the talk with dignity and grace. We need to remain true to our own values and not be defined by the needs and desire of others. Whatever the case, our eyes should be focused on the future. The past is just that, something that happened. We can't change it. It is old news and old stuff. Life is a journey, we go forward. Sometimes, we really do have to press ahead. That means no it won't be easy, but the motion is forward.

Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. God told us to let each day handle its own set of issues. “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34 NASB) Sometimes we simply need to take the focus off of ourselves and focus on others. The world will never suffer from us being kind to a stranger. A smile can make a huge difference in some one's life. Listening is also important. Sometimes, it is a matter of us just slowing down long enough to meet a basic need for someone else. When all else fails, prayer works. God never answers in our prescribed method but He will move in a situation. Sometimes His lack of action is our answer. Prayers work not just for us but for others. We have to intercede and seek God's will for others, God isn't looking for us to pray about our personal concerns all the time, in fact prayers for self should be the end of our requests, not the beginning. 

Wherever you are and whatever you do to ring in the New Year, I hope you will do it safely. If you are drinking, please don't drive. Friends really don't let friends drive drunk. Whatever hurts, anger, and bitterness you are harboring, let it go. You will feel so much better and your health will improve. I say it all the time, on our worst day, we are more blessed than so many others in the world. If you are having a pity party, I challenge to to count your blessings, name them one by one. Once you do this, you will be quickly reminded that though your past has been challenging, your future is still bright with promise. Every day you can choose to be positive, you can choose joy, and you can choose to look beyond yourself. 

May 2012 be your best year yet! May God bless and keep you! May your successes be many! May there peace and prosperity in your future! May there be much love, joy, and laughter in the year to come. Happy New Year to each and every one!!!

In Diva love, 


Pam

Twas the Night Before CHRISTmas

Today is Christmas Eve! Yea! You all know that I absolutely love Christmas. From my previous post, you also know that I was having trouble getting into to the spirit of the season this year. Well the moment is upon us. I know there are folks out there shopping today but alas, I will not be one of them. Children are eagerly anticipating all the material things that they will receive under their beautifully decorated trees tomorrow. Parents are exhausted from running to and fro to find the right toy or gadget. Cookies are baked, parties have been given. The sad thought is that most of things have not included the real thing. Jesus, the reason for the season. You all are aware that Christmas is a spiritual holiday, aren't we? Funny, even secular folk get caught up in the wonder of the moment.

Christmas Eve is a good time to reflect on the past year and start looking ahead to the year to come. If you are reading this post, you are very blessed. God has been good to you. For some reading the post, it has been a good year, for others perhaps, it has been stressful year. All of us have weathered our share of ups and downs, trials and triumphs. We have lost loved ones, gained new friends, watched our finances stretch beyond our wildest imaginations. We've seen politics played out in the most immature and condescending fashion. Celebrities fiascoes have invaded our homes and wasted our time(and energy). Terrorists have been captured and killed. Icons have died and left legacies that will forever change technology. Television will not be the same but of course we already know that given the number of reality televisions shows that air daily and the lack of talk shows being able to survive.

No matter what has happened, guess who was NOT surprised? You got it, GOD. He ordained every single moment. I often find myself wondering why He allows some of the foolishness. Look what sin has done. Anyhoo, I digress! Christmas Eve is one of my favorite part of the season. Energy is high in my house and just about every other house in the world. What I hope is not missing is the reflection of what happened long long ago. The birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Like Mary, the Virgin Mother, there are things we really should ponder in our heart. 

Christmas should be carried with us throughout the year not just from Thanksgiving to New Year. Our hearts should be filled with love for others 24/7. We should be kind to strangers and service workers. We should be hospitable, we should be caring and we should be happy. Our minds should go to the lonely neighbor down the street, the childless widow at work, the countless men and women who sacrifice their family time and unfortunately, sometimes their lives to protect our country, and the saints who serve on mission fields to spread the gospel of Christ. Our prayers should also be filled with these people. I say it all the time, "Be blessed and be a blessing!" Blessing don't have to cost a thing. It takes nothing to smile, hold the door, or engage someone in a really meaningful conversation. The gift of time is precious but it is also priceless.

Jesus had the unique ability to meet people wherever they were. Jesus met all of their needs. Physical, mental, emotion, and most importantly, their spiritual needs. Ministry is work but He made it look so easy. Jesus was never impatient and always had an agenda, yet He took time to nourish His own spirit with prayer. He surrounded himself with a myriad of characters who were constantly surprised by His compassion, power, and insight. Take note my friends. and take heart. Life isn't easy. It is even more difficult when you only focus on yourself and fail to pray. 

As we embrace the real day that has been set aside to celebrate the birth of Christ, let us all reflect on how unselfishly God gave His only Son Jesus Christ for us. Let us not keep Jesus out of our celebration. Let us  hold the love we have at Christmas in our heart the whole year through. Embrace your family and friends and hold them close. Yea, I know they are all dysfunctional but hey, they are your dysfunctional peeps. Be kind to strangers, all the time. Donate to charity! SMILE! PRAY! BE BLESSED AND BE A BLESSING!

Whatever you celebrate...Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Christmas......let it be filled with love and laughter. Be merry. Be thankful for all God has brought you through. You aren't the same person you were last Christmas. Hopefully, that is a good thing. Everyday is a new day. Christmas spirit can be a part of every one of them. As the night ushers in Christmas, remember that without CHRIST, there would be no Christmas and that Jesus is the reason for the season. Make that reality a part of your thoughts for the next 36 hours. You simply can't have a celebration with out inviting the guest of honor to the celebration! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

 

In Diva love, 

PAM

Without Christ, There Couldn't Be a CHRISTMAS!!!

Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year! For some reason, I am having a difficult time getting into the spirit. Maybe it is the commercialism that has dulled my senses. Let's face it, Christmas decor is being displayed earlier and earlier each year. I keep joking that eventually, it will be on display year round. I wish there was a rule that Christmas displays can't be put out til Thanksgiving. I know that means we'd only see them for a month. At this point in my life, I'd settle for November 1st. 

Christmas has lost its focus on Christ. I realize that many people have no spiritual grounding. During the month of December, I post a song, sometimes secular, sometimes spiritual, and this year a Christmas related quote. Who cares about being politically correct? My girlfriend watched A Charlie Brown Christmas for the first time this year and was pleasantly surprised that the special actually does focus on the true meaning of Christmas and that Linus' lines have not been edited out. He does quote directly form the Bible.  

Our best hope for the season remains in Christ. For those that don't know what it means to have a relationship with Christ, one can only hope that they will embrace the best spirit of the holiday. That means that hopefully they are a little more patient with the salesclerks or a little more charitable with their possessions. More importantly, I hope they encounter at least one person who will share with them the love of Christ and what His birth and ultimately His death means to them. Only then can you know the real meaning of Christmas. 

The story of Christ's birth is simple and plain but it is no short of a true miracle. I end this post by sharing it with you straight from the book of Luke, Chapter 2, verses 1-2: In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,  "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!" When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us." And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them. (ESV)

I hope you have taken the time to reflect on the simplicity of Christmas. It really isn't about the gifts you give or receive but about the hope you have in your heart. It is about the character and joy you bring to others the whole year through. Like Mary, we need to ponder these things in our heart. Jesus was God's gift to us so that we could have eternal life. Without Christ, there would be no Christmas! Jesus is the reason for the season! 

Diva Blessings,

Pam

Sandals

Three luxurious Sandals resort in three jam packed, fun-filled days. Dreamy Destinations just attended site inspections on Sandals properties.Can you imagine 240 travel agents on a charter plane descending on three properties all at once? Well that is what happened.  We saw Sandals Emerald Bay in Great Exuma (Bahamas), Sandals Grande Antigua, and Sandals Royal Bahamian.

If you are a couple looking to revitalize and enhance your romance,Sandals is your destination. Did you just get engaged? This would make a perfect location for your destination wedding. They have 8 Martha Stewart packages for you to choose from-you can add on to make it unique. There is also a professional wedding coordinator on each property.  If romance is not on your agenda right now, maybe you need a girlfriend getaway or a place to have a birthday/anniversary celebration. Sandals can make it a memorable celebration just for you. There are numerous restaurants to satisfy your palate. Romantic rooms, luxurious beaches, and no children. Does it get any better? Are you looking for professional, 24 hour service that will cater to your every need? You can't beat butler service. They will draw your bath, unpack your bags, decorate your room and pretty much any other thing you can think of. The staff is friendly and accommodating and the grounds are beautifully landscaped.

Water sports abound, most included in your package. To plan you perfect excursion, Island Routes is on the resort to make sure you have the thrill of a lifetime. There is daily entertainment and nightly activity too. Commercials get you interested in Sandals, but the pictures we posted after seeing the resorts up close and personal, are the real deal.  Each resort has its own unique flavor but what doesn't vary is Sandals commitment to making your vacation an experience that you won't soon forget and will keep you coming back for years to come. So what are you waiting for? Call us to book a fantasy vacation that you won't soon forget!

In Diva Travel Mode,

Pam

December Diva Dialogue-2011

I have been AWOL and Lord knows things have been moving and shaking in my absence. Sometimes it kills me not to put my opinion out there. Life calls though and I can't always post like I want, when I want. That being said, I am going to riff on several things.

First up, Herman Cain. I am going to keep it short and simple! I hate arrogant people who are also ignorant. Herman Cain fits the bill. I never considered him a serious contender for the GOP nomination but let's face it, their pickings are extremely slim.  That being the case, he was allowed to gain popularity despite being ill informed on a variety of subjects. I am gonna say that he is also an unattractive womanizer. Goodness, he reminds me so much of Clarence Thomas that I wanna scream. I am mad because he didn't champion his wife enough to go immediately to clear up the drama of all these women coming out of the woodwork to say that he allegedly sexually harassed them. He made the wife wait five days before he went to see her. WTF? Dead wrong!As of this posting, I guess he's had plenty of time to mend fences with her because he has finally done the appropriate thing and removed himself from the media spotlight.Now we can focus n the antics of Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich. Happy happy joy joy!

Let me just put this out there. Is Gloria Allred the only attorney who can represent sexually harassed victims of men in the spotlight? I mean really. I hate seeing her! Maybe it's just me!

Jerry Sandusky was again arrested on yesterday as a ninth and tenth accuser have come forward to allege abuse at the hands of the former Penn State defensive coordinator.  Joe Paterno has been been fired. The legacy of that University has been tarnished forever. The major question which emerges is this, actually there is no question. Joe Paterno was dead wrong for not being more proactive about Sandusky's problem. We are our brother's keeper and as a coach, Joe had a responsibility to do the right thing and pursue corrective action.

Donald Trump is back. Oh joy! Here he is talking politics again. Really, media whores are ruining the US one appearance at a time. What serious presidential candidate in their right mind would participate in a debate moderated by him? Trump has and always will have his own agenda. Any minute he will be talking about running again. Like that could happen. 

Today, there has been another shooting at Virgina Tech. This really saddens me. I know you really aren't safe anywhere but my goodness, how much can one school take. I am praying that my children aren't interested in going there. Once again, the Virginia Tech community stands in need of our prayers and support.  I am not sure what is going on but I know God is ultimately in control.

Black Friday was about two weeks ago. I am saddened by the stories of trampling, pepper spraying, and gunfire all to get a cherished item at a bargain price. At some point don't we have all the video games and electronics that we can use? Haven't these folks got Internet service? Order your stuff from the comfort of your home. If you must go out, use your manners people. Be on your best behavior.

I am going to close for now. I promise to return soon. In the mean time, It is the Christmas season. Christian or not, most folks get caught up in what is a spiritual holiday. Jesus is the reason for the season. Commercialism abounds but the true meaning of the season is giving. Go beyond the gifts and focus on your character. Are you giving your best? God gave us His best. Take a moment to pause and reflect on how far you come and what you have achieved. Did you make a difference? If not, it isn't too late. 

In the Spirit of the Season,

Pam

Diva Dialogue-November, 2011

The news is buzzing! I don't even know where to begin. Let's start with Penn State and their issues. As a graduate of the University of Pittsburgh, Penn State was one of our biggest rivals so imagine my interest in this unfortunate situation. A grand jury indictment has been raised against former defensive coordinator, Jerry Sandusky for allegations which include sexual abuse of eight children over a fifteen year period. I am saddened when any sexual abuse is raised and this situation is no different. I think the fact that so much is focused on Joe Paterno running a clean upstanding athletic program where he stressed moral values and scholastic achievements is overshadowing the real issue which is adults violating children's trust. Paterno has had a long illustrious career. It is safe to say this will be his last year as coach of the Nittany Lions as he announced that he will retire at the close of this season. He did go to the administration with the accusations, the administration chose to cover up the abuse and Paterno is being called on the carpet for not pushing for more action on their part. Given Paterno's level of influence in the Penn State community, I do think he fulfilled his moral obligation but I also feel that given his respected position, he should have advocated for the children involved instead of going forward without questioning the actions of the University. What would you have done is his shoes? Is fulfilling your moral obligation enough?

On a sad note, former Heavyweight champion boxer, Smokin Joe Frazier lost a battle to liver cancer. He was 67 years old. He handed Muhammad Ali his first defeat. Frazier had a devastating left hook and was well respected for his determination and strength. By all accounts, he had a great personality and will be sorely missed by the Philadelphia community where he worked closely with children. As a child, I clearly remember all the hype surrounding the "Thrilla in Manila." It was an awesome fight and your adrenaline got pumping just by watching. I won't even discuss the pre-hype and trash talking that occurred. I am no longer excited by boxing, it simply isn't the same.

On another sad note, rapper Heavy D, age 44, died yesterday. Heavy D was one of my favorite hip hop artists. He had longevity in a field where people don't last very long. Last month, he performed on an award show and the performance was phenomenal. His career began in 1987 with the single, Overweight Lovers in the House. Dwight Myers(Heavy D's Government name) was also an actor. His most recent role was in Tower Heist with Eddie Murphy which was released last week. I am a saddened fan because I loved Heavy D, his rap was clean, catchy, and boy could he dance despite his heavier weight. He came across as sincere and fun loving. Based on the celebrity response, he was all of those things as well as a caring artist and father. Hopefully, heaven has gained an angel.

Last but certainly not least, Conrad Murray was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter in the death of Michael Joseph Jackson. Let's hope that MJ's family can finally find some peace in what is really a tragic situation. Let's face it, we all know MJ needed professional help. I think eventually, MJ would have self destructed. It is a travesty that Conrad Murray didn't take his Hippocratic Oath seriously enough to walk away from the fame of treating a superstar celebrity or to attempt to help him resolve his demons. Murray may not serve more than the 20 days it will take before his sentencing due to overcrowded California prisons. He will never practice medicine in the US again. He is vilified because MJ has remained larger than life even after death and his fans are a loyal and dedicated group. My hubby thinks Murray should leave the States where he'd be in a better position to start over somewhat more anonymously. I feel sorry for him. He was wrong and I think he will pay dearly for his mistake for the rest of his life. The choice to be a doctor is a serious one. The verbiage in the Hippocratic Oath is clear. To be a medical profession in violation of it is dangerous and deadly. I see this as a wake up call for patients and their doctors. We all have a role and with it comes boundaries. It is important to operate within those guidelines to keep us all safe.

I have said a lot and now it is time to close. Life is short. There are a ton of lessons to be learned as we live it. In the case of Penn State, you have to think about the situations from a personal point of view. Would you have reacted the same if it was your son, daughter, or grandchild? I think the same applies to Conrad Murray. Someone has to be bold enough to take a stand. In the case of Joe Frazier and Heavy D, both the hip hop and sports arena have taken serious losses. Both men had warm personalities and were well respected by their peers.  Till next time, love life and live it to the fullest.


In Diva Love,

Pam

Marriage is Serious Business

I figured out why the whole Kim Kardashian marriage thing has pissed me off. First off, I have really strong feelings about the seriousness of marriage. One of my earliest post was, "A Beautiful Wedding does Not a Beautiful Marriage Make." You can check it out here: http://missreaddiva.blogspot.com/2009/09/beautiful-wedding-does-not-beautiful.html.

Marriage is not easy. You take two people with completely different backgrounds and upbringing and you send them off to make a happy life. They stand before God and witnesses and make vows to "love, honor, and cherish in good times and bad." Just like the good times, bad times will come. God didn't promise any of us a lifetime of happiness and when you are looking for another person to provide that happiness, it is a recipe for disaster.

I have been married for fifteen and a half years. Sometimes, even I am shocked that we have lasted this long. LOL! Everyday we both have to choose to see the good in each other and figure out that what we have built together is better than what we can do alone. Some days, neither of us feels up to the challenge. On those days, tension runs deep and attitudes prevail. God already knew what type of people we'd be once sin entered the picture. Love was probably going to be hard enough with out the temptation of sin. Ironically enough, there are so many Bible passages that call us to love. When God makes the command, it is NOT conditional on our feelings or emotions. Let's face it, Jesus met people wherever they were in their stage of life. He met their every need and it didn't matter that he'd been ministering for days at a time with no rest. He didn't judge, nor did He condemn. He just loved on the person in the manner they needed it most, always spiritual, sometimes, emotionally and physically too.

I can attest that the first year of marriage is difficult. No one can fully prepare you for what changes in you will have to result in order for your marriage to work. Even after you have years of marriage under your belt, you still have to work at communicating and compromising. After 72 days, you have done very little bonding, especially if you are spending half that time away from each other and in the public spotlight. I am not judging Kim K but you have to wonder what her motivation to marry really was. I can understand the getting caught up in the fantasy. After all, the whole wedding thing was a public spectacle. Love has its public moments but it really is a private affair.

You have to do the work to build your relationship so that you and your spouse can both be the best of your selves in public and private. Living out love the way God commands, takes some serious prayer and commitment on both individuals part. When Kris Humphries is finding out that his marriage is over from the media, you know that someone wasn't prepared to handle marriage. I mean really. You couldn't give him the courtesy of a personal conversation before going public. Then you are wondering why everyone thinks it is a sham. Let's be mature here.

 Readers, if you are thinking about marriage, I can't implore you enough to get professional counseling. A neutral party will give you things to consider about marriage that you may not be thinking of as you try to fulfill your ultimate wedding dreams. A wedding lasts one day, a marriage is supposed to be for life. Don't make the same mistake as Kim and many others.  Marriage is serious business. Marriage is not Big Business.

I leave you with what God's Word says about love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (TNIV) states, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.Verse 13 goes on to state, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." It is important to note that love perseveres. Persevere means to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly. Enough said. Till next time, peace.

Leaving you in Diva Love,

Pam

Liebster Award

I want to personally thank Sporadically Yours for gifting me with this award. I just started following her blog and I absolutely love it. I feel like we'd be friends if we met somewhere. Check her out by clicking the link here www.sporadicpublication.blogspot.com! Now I am returning the favor and passing the love on to several of my favorite bloggers.

The Liebster (German for friend or love) Award spotlights up-and-coming bloggers with less than 200 followers.

FOLLOWING THE RULES

Upon receiving the Liebster Award, you must do the following:

1. Thank the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.

2. Reveal your top 5 picks(I decided on 6) and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

3. Post the award on your blog.


4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the Internet – other writers.


5. Have fun with it!

I read some really REALLY great blogs. Most of the bloggers that I follow are fairly new. They are a varied bunch but all of them are down to earth and fabulous:

               Kristin@           www.handbagshairandheels.blogspot.com

               Carla@             www.sojourneroftruth.blogspot.com

               Laura@             www.lovelifescrap.blogspot.com

               Jill@                  www.thisismyridiculouslife.wordpress.com

               Stephanie@       www.journeytoninevah.blogspot.com
               Danette@          www.brichrkha.blogspot.com

You will enjoy every one of the blogs. Trust me, I don't lie!

Copyright November 3, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Thankful, Thankful, Thankful

We are three days into November which means the season of Thanksgiving is upon us. This is my favorite time of year. For the month of November, I always post something on my Facebook page that I am thankful for each day. It can be great or it can be small but nonetheless, we should all be able to find at least three things that we are truly thankful for each day. It looks like quite a few people are also posting their thankful items each day. It is very rewarding for me to read those post because they point to the fact that some people have some deep stuff going on in their lives.

As a parent of children who are definitely a part of the Entitlement Generation, I still try to impress upon my children the fact that they are better than blessed. They have more than they need and quite a few of their wants. I am happy to say that they do have manners. See my previous post if you are wondering why I point this out. I say this often, on our worst day, we are still more blessed than a whole lot of other people on their best day, especially those in other countries. We should never take anything for granted and gratitude goes a long way with people. Too whom much is given, much is required.

I lift this challenge to you. Take the time to note at least three things that you are thankful for from now till Thanksgiving Day. You don't have to post the list on Facebook, nor do you have to tell a friend. You can meditate on those things and simply express your gratitude. Believe me, focusing on the positive will make you feel good throughout your day. If the day looks like it might go wrong, go back and reflect on those things again. Every morning, I sing, "Count your blessings, name them one by one!" I hope you will rise to the challenge. Feel free to share your experience with me! Till next time, be blessed and be a blessing. Someone needs you this holiday season and you probably don't have to look to far to bless them. Ciao!



Copyright November 3, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Diva Digression-October, 2011

For the first year ever, I chose to give out the candy instead of caravan through the neighborhood with my children on Halloween. Normally, hubby gives out the candy. In our subdivision, Halloween is highly celebrated. I am not a fan, but have given in to the pressure and let my kids participate. Let me issue a short PSA......people please teach your children basic manners. "Please" and "Thank You" are essential to every day living. It really is a simple tenant that should have begun the moment you began to teach your children to talk. If you don't have/use manners, make it a part of your daily living. I mean seriously, rude adults create rude children. Please do this for me! I thank you in advance!

People Pimping the American public........Right now, I am highly irritated that I keep seeing the Madoff family everywhere promoting their book. You may feel wronged by Bernie but have you no compassion for the people he left in financial ruin. You lived high off the hog long enough. We don't care about your story. Right now many people are barely making it and frankly, I don't think they give a damn about your plight. I may be wrong but it is my honest opinion.

Next on the chopping block is Kim Kardashian. You have been married for 72 days and you are filing for divorce. Really? Every time I turn on my television, you are out, without your husband. How can you make a marriage work when you are never together? Oh, I am sorry, you really did it for the financial payoff, didn't you? In this paparazzi driven society, you were well compensated for your wedding photos. I bet you didn't have to shell out a dime for anything because your name alone could get you over(Whew! I am having a Star Jones flashback). So my question is this, will you be returning your gifts? I mean it is only right since you will not be setting up a house and filling it with love and memories.

Finally, I am calling out the NBA athletes. Basketball is one of my favorite sports. Every one of you make more money in a year than many will see in a lifetime. Do you really need 51% of the owners profits? If you got those funds, are you gonna do something to make a difference in the lives of others? Yes, I know some of you do lots of charitable things but you also live extravagant lifestyles. Your love of money seems to be trumping your love of the game. Do you all ever think about the fans? You entertain, you don't teach. In other words, in the grand scheme of things, we can take or leave you. Your impact on the world is not that serious.

That's it for now! The year is winding down. Tomorrow, we enter the season of Thanksgiving. Take a moment each day and list at least 3 things that you are thankful for! You are so blessed and sometimes we are all guilty of forgetting that very fact. Till next time, be a blessing!

Copyright October 31, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Energy

When you enter a room, you bring a certain kind of energy in with you. That energy is either negative or positive. Guess who controls that energy? You got it! You do! I know we don't consciously think about what we bring into a room as we go through a door, but what if we all paused to think about it. Maybe we could change the energy in a particular place. I could write a whole lot about you being in control and all that jazz but I am more focused on a different idea with the same concept.

Did ever pause to think about the fact that you control the energy that you surround yourself with? I think about it often. It really is true. God knew it because it says in 1 Corinthians 15:33," Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character." (NIV)  So birds of a feather really do flock together. Sometimes, you have to purge people. It is so much easier to purge things, but with people, feelings and emotions get involved.

If you find that you are around a bunch of people who suck your energy, you need to change company. You might need to take a good look in the mirror. We live in a world where people are hooked on electronic devices, not phonics; where fast food reigns supreme; where broken hearts go unmended. The list could go on and on. If your energy is positive, it does impact the people you come into contact with. I say it all the time be a blessing. Lately, I have added, smile. Blessing someone with a smile can do wonders for a soul. You never know whose soul you may touch. So before you walk through that next door, think about what you bring into that space. You can change it up by turning that frown upside down! My name is Pamela, and I approve this message!! LOL! Peace!

Copyright October 26, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

A Moment of Clarity

Sometimes, I have so much on my mind that I want to share that I shut down and don't share a thing. Other times, I have something very heavy and pressing on my heart but still can't express it tactfully or with out hurting some one's feelings. Again, I don't share.  I have decided that I am going to write more and free myself of having to have a topic simply because it is cathartic for me. The call for me to write is for me, to free my mind, and ease my pain, share some insight, encourage a friend, and to work through my issues. Consider yourself warned, I may only have a sentence or two to share but I am still passionate about food, travel, parenting, marriage, and books. I am still not short on my opinion on a wide range of current and past historical events.  Remember, this is my therapy. While this vehicle is mine, I do want to be sensitive to my family, friends, and readers. That being said, today I just want to encourage anyone reading this and feeling some kinda way.

Life really is a series of ups and downs, many of them out of our control. We can't can't control people, nor can we control circumstances. Sometimes we have to surrender our agendas. Sometimes we have to forgive. At others, we have to forget. And still others, we have to change our minds and our hearts. No matter what you are forced to do, remember, life is simply a journey and God has already written the plan. Psalm 30:5 states, "For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life;  Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning."(NKJV) Morning always comes. With the dawning of a new day, we have the opportunity to see a situation through fresh eyes and begin anew. Don't let anyone steal that from you. Till next time, have a great weekend!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on October 22, 2011

Are You Really Mine?

Have you ever looked at your children or the children in your life and wondered where the hell they came from? Well I have been having those moments quite often lately. My children make me scratch my head in wonder. They are opinionated. They are fearless. They have ideas and values that don't line up with what we have taught them. Who are these minis and where did they come from? Are they really mine or did the hospital send me home with the wrong babies?

All I can say is this happens more and more frequently. It makes me shudder and step up my prayer life. I am preparing these children and eventually they are gonna be unleashed on the world. Will they be viable productive contributors to society? It is part of my daily thought life.

The story of the Prodigal Son gives me hope. Right now, I wouldn't classify my children as prodigals but the possibility exists that they could one day fall into this category. Some of the words that escape their lips scare me. Yet, I remain hopeful. Why? Because the Bible tells me so. Proverbs 22:6 states, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." (NKJV)

We as parents, aunts, uncles, godparents or grandparents can only impart wisdom and knowledge. We must do it consistently and continuously. Hopefully, when our babies lose their minds, as they inevitably will, they will always be drawn back to the solid lessons and foundation that you have raised them upon. Eventually, they will be productive members of society. You have to do your part and let God handle the rest. After all, it is all His business, not ours. Till next time, smile and bless someone else!!

Copyright October 12, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Stranger Danger

This past weekend, my husband and I went to Cancun on a more business than pleasure trip. We left our children at home with my mother. In other words, they were in good hands in our absence. It was a brief trip. For some odd reason, I requested prayer from my Bible study Leadership team and my Moms In Touch group. They are prayer warriors but I tend not to make lots of public requests. I asked them to pray for my children's safety and a good time to be had with their grandmother, whom they don't see enough.

Well I thank God that I lifted the requests. On Friday, my son, a 5th grader, was walking to school alone. Our house is less than 500 feet from the school but you have to walk to the end of the street which is a cul-de-sac and then over a hill and you are in the school parking lot. He noticed a car sitting in the cul-de-sac. As he approached, a Caucasian male in his 20s in a bronze car asked him if he needed a ride and told him to get in the car. He said, "No!" and ran away. He immediately went to his teacher and told her what happened. The local police were notified and a report was made. All adults involved made sure my son was okay and commended him for handling the situation properly.

If you know my son, he is very laid back. He is not a fan of too much attention. Needless to say that we have tightened the reins on him and he is not happy. C'est la vie! My point in all of this is that God knew all of of this would occur. The outcome could have been much worse. Don't be afraid to pray nor should you be afraid to ask for prayer. I don't have any problems making prayer requests but I tend to be private and not put too much out there. I don't know why I felt led to make a requests. Well, let's change that. The Holy Spirit prompted me to do it and I was obedient. The effective, fervent prayer of the righteous man avails much. (ref. James 5:16, NKJV) God hears and He protects.

Make sure your children know how to handle such occurrences. My son can NEVER walk alone again. He, of course, thinks we are crazy. Gotta love fearless children. Teach your children about being aware of their surroundings and what to do if a stranger approaches them. I commended my son that he ran over the hill to school instead of coming back home. Also, he was praised for having a good description of the person in the car. He does have a cell phone with a locator. He said he felt scared but he knew what to do and he knew he could run fast. Again, childlike naivete. I know God was in the details and I know prayers matter. If you have praying people in your circle, utilize them! Thanking God that my son is safe and also thanking God for His sovereignty.

Copyright October 6, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Ordered Affairs

Lately I have been giving a lot of thought to having ones affairs in order. I in no way have really done what I feel is necessary in that regard and it is weighing heavily on my heart. It got me to wondering about my family and closest friends. Have you got your affairs in order if something were to happen to you? I feel guilty because I have children and I think it is a disservice not to have my wishes in writing. I know what I want to happen if something happens to me and my hubby but I haven't really shared that info with anyone. You know when you are young, you tend to think that you will live forever. As you mature, you realize that life is short and time is precious.

My brother, like my dad, is clear about his desire to be cremated. My husband has always said that he wants to be cremated and have his ashes thrown into the ocean. Honestly, those discussions used to freak me out. Now, I am okay with it. I understand more fully the desire to be cremated, especially as we move further and further away from our families. I think a lot about being buried in a city and my kids moving away but possibly worrying about visiting our gravesites. Not a great thought and not a stress that I wanna put on them.

My mom lives six hours away. She is even farther from my brother. I worry about her. We haven't really discussed her desires if something should happen. I know where her important papers and stuff are. All her friends are there but her children aren't. So you can see why there is some level of anxiety. These are difficult discussions to have yet they are very necessary. So I am challenging you, if you haven't already done it, to share your desires with your loved ones or put it in writing. Yes, I am going to follow my own advice. Don't forget that you should include things like whether you are an organ donor or what to do if you are in a vegetative state and things of that nature. Yea, I know it is quite a bit to think about. So I am done. Gotta get busy with my paln so no one is burdened trying to figure out my wishes. I know it is kind of depressing but do it! Ciao!!!

Copyright September 22, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Guest Blog:Gerald Cole

These are Gerald's words from a FB post. Gerald is my younger brother who is never short of opinion. Yea, I guess that runs in the family. These are his words which I did not get permission to use but I am sure he won't mind. He wrote this in response to the state of Georgia's controversial decision to execute Troy Davis despite mounting evidence that could possibly have proven him innocent. Please comment. I'd love to hear your views on the subject.

AmeriKKKa has a deep-rooted history of racism and oppression of people of color in not only this nation but all over the world. It should come as no surprise that the state of Georgia would deny Troy Davis a stay of execution at this late hour. To do so would lift the veil of deceit, corruption, racism and racial prejudice that continues to exist not only in Georgia but all across this great nation we live in. I'm not appalled or shocked. AmeriKKKa has a history of killing our people unjustly through mob violence, lynchings and outright murder and now with the death penalty they do it outwardly and openly with no fear of repercussion. We've marched, wrote letters, emails, sent texts, protested and raised our voices in protests only to fall on the deaf ears of our so-called leaders and representatives in the justice system. Despite the mounting evidence that the police lied, tampered with evidence and used threats and coercison against witnesses in order to wrongly convict Troy Davis, the Supreme Court denied his just due and right to a fair trial in this country.

When I think of all the brave men and women that serve to protect the sovereignty and freedoms we have in America that are really limited at best to some of us due to the color of our skin, yet we sacrifice our lives for the freedom of those abroad to have access to a freedom and democracy we have yet to fully realize for ourselves right here at home, it sickens me. This country is the greatest country on Earth, yet it has so-many "in-house" problems it can't seem to resolve. The race issue is not dead, yet many would like to dismiss blatantly racial issues and say, "Oh, stop playing the race card." Yet, you have psychologist, and criminal profilers claiming that blacks are more likely to commit certain crimes after rehabilitation than other groups, blacks are more prone to commit violent acts than others and then use these prejudiced statements as basis for not only convictions but denials of parole, clemency and other processes that may exonerate not only the wrongly accused but those that have served their time for the crimes that they committed years ago.

Tonight we should all pray and come together for not just understanding but come together as a voice to these so-called politicians that are supposed to represent our interests. We need legislation proposed to end the Death Penalty, impose a real checks and balance of these police stations that doctor up evidence and make unlawful arrests, clean up the corruption within the highest ranks of police departments, eliminate the collusion between defense attornies and district attornies that plea bargain away the lives, hopes and dreams of innocent men and women of ALL RACES across this great nation. Somebody has to be accountable for this injustice, somebody has to be willing to stand up against it...I am. Are you? (Truly Saddened, Gerald Cole)

Copyright September 22, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Be True To Yourself Tag

How big is your bed? King sized
What are you listening to right now? Nothing
What was the last thing you ate? Lasagna, salad, applesauce
Last person you hugged?  My son
How is the weather right now? Cool night
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Tracie
What is the first thing you notice in the opposite sex? Eyes and smile
Favourite type of food? Seafood and soul food
Do you want children? I have 2 and I will NOT be having anymore. 
Do you drink? Occasionally
Ever get so drunk you don’t remember the entire night? No
Hair colour? Sandy brown with many grey strands
Eye colour? Hazel
Do you wear contacts/glasses?  Both
Favorite holiday? Thanksgiving
Favorite season? Autumn
Have you ever cried over a girl/boy? Yes
Last movie you watched? The Adjustment Bureau
What books are you reading? The Sweetest Thing and Home-Court Advantage
Piercings? Ears
Favorite movie? Love and Basketball, Shawshank Redemption, Brown Sugar
Favorite college football team? Gonna go with the Pittsburgh Panthers
What were you doing before filling this out? Writing a blog
Any pets? Not any more!
Dogs or cats? Dogs
Favorite flower? Calla lillies
Have you ever loved someone? Yes
Who would you like to see right now? Mother and Grandmother
Have you ever fired a gun? Yes
Do you like to travel by plane? Yes
Right-handed or Left-handed? Right-handed.
If you could go to any place right now where would you go? Rio or Aruba
Are you missing someone? Yes
Do you have a tattoo? Nope
Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? Only if my son forces me to
Are you hiding something from someone? Always got at least one secret
What do you do before you go to bed? Reflect and pray.

Well now, you just learned a little more about wonderful me! Yea you! Good night!

God has My Back

Earlier today someone asked me what songs could summarize my life right now. One of my choices was a song by Kurt Carr called "For Every Mountain." The lyrics are as follows, "I've got so much to thank God for. So many blessings and so many open doors. A brand new mercy. Along with each new day. That's why I praise You. For this I give you praise. Chorus: For waking me up this morning.That's why I praise You. For starting me on my way. That's why I praise You. For letting me see the sunlight of a brand new day. A brand new mercy along with each new day. That's why I praise You. For this I give You praise. For every mountain You brought me over. For every trial you've seen me through For every blessing. Hallelujah for this I give you praise."  Whenever I hear it, it touches my soul.

I love music, especially gospel music. It is an integral part of my worship and praise experience. That song is always a gentle reminder that God can carry me through any and every problem. It also reminds me that just waking up and beginning a new day is in fact a blessing. The main fact though is that God has brought me through each and every trial. Some trials are mountains and others are molehills. In many of those trials, I felt alone and quite a bit of despair. Sometimes I could pray my way through but I am not afraid to have others intercede for me.

Life ain't easy and no two days are the same. No matter what, God never changes. His Word doesn't change. Nothing I experience as an individual is new to Christ. It is important that I focus my eyes on Him. People can and will fail you but He doesn't. On my worse day, it still isn't a horrible day. I never know how most of my issues/problems will work themselves out but God knows and He cares. He doesn't always work them the way I think He will but in every situation/circumstance, He reveals something about me and I learn something about Him and His character. In every case, I end up being just fine. I don't know who reads my blogs, nor do I know who has a relationship with Christ. What I do know is this, for me, a day without Christ would be extremely messed up. I have read the Bible from cover to cover on several occasions and every time, God shows me something new and different. Every experience grows me up and matures me. I have by no means arrived. I just trust that the Master's plan is the best plan for me. So please be encouraged. You too can make it through. Hopefully you have God on your side and in your life. Then you can join me in singing......till next time, Be blessed and of course be a blessing! Peace!

Copyright September 19, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Diva Dialogue-September, 2011

So I have a few minutes so I thought I'd whip out a blog. Hey, y'all! School started yesterday. I now have a high schooler and a 5th grader. Time flies when you have children. My grandmother told me that long ago and of course she is correct.

So there are quite a few things going on. First and foremost, the GOP presidential candidates are trying to gear up for what is going to be a long dreaded race. I am so not feeling that. Obama has a fight on his hands with one of those fools folks. Here's my opinion, Obama has been soft and the public is pissed. They hate the health care plan, there are still few new jobs, and most are hoping for a different type of change.  Congress has been hard and unyielding. Frankly, I am sure they can care less what their constituents desire as long as they have yet another chance to disagree with the POTUS. I think it is time for Obama to take a hard stance on something and follow it through. I really want him to have a Southside Chicago moment but America would then label him an angry Black man and we definitely don't need that.

Normally, I don't watch the Oscars but this year, I just might. Eddie Murphy has been selected to host the event. I am kinda intrigued by that. He is an impressive comedian who I think can be edgy but not rub folks the wrong way like Piers Morgan did. We'll see! Only time can tell. I will tune it and see what I think for myself. Hopefully, this year will include some movies that people actually go to see and enjoy.

So Beyonce is preggers. Do we care? I think not. I am happy for her and Jay-Z. Let's hope the baby gets the best of both of them. When I think about it, that baby could turn out to be not very cute. Let's hope it gets the best of the talent pool too.

I am cynical about Hollywood marriages. I hope Jada and Will don't come out in a couple of weeks talking about their marriage is over ala Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. Rumor has it that Jada and Marc had an affair. My question is this, if you have an open marriage, can you really have an affair? IMHO, Marc Anthony is not attractive. He looks kinda dirty to me. Oh and for those of you who don't know, Hawthorne was cancelled.

Kate Gosselin is job hunting. Any takers? TLC finally cancelled her lame show and no she has to find a legit gig to take care of her eight children. Ex-spouse, Jon, is probably very happy since being on television was detrimental to his kid's normalcy. As if they could be normal with such crazy parents.

Shaunie O'Neal should be ashamed of herself. I don't watch either of her shows but let's face it, they are crap. None of the so called Basketball Wives are in fact, wives. Oh I forgot, you can be a former wife, a groupie, or a baby mama and qualify. Makes me wanna holler! I know I expected Shaunie to produce a more classy show and held her to a standard that she obviously didn't deserve. Shaunie is prostituting those women and they are desperate enough to let her. She sits back and chills while they make complete fools of themselves. Why? because she is getting paid, that's why. Diva lesson for the day: Never sell your soul for the Almighty Dollar!

Okay that is it for now. Real random, right? I know I am sorry, it just had to come out. On a more serious note, in a few days, it will be the tenth anniversary of 9/11. There are quite a few television remembrances being shown. If you weren't affected, be thankful. If you were, my heart and prayers go out to you. Let's all reflect and remember the lessons that we have learned as a result of that day. America is a strong country and we move on, but we are ultimately shaped by everything that takes place in our conveluted history. Till next time, peace and blessings!

Copyright September 7, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

The MLK, Jr. Memorial

Today (the 48th anniversary of the very famous, "I Have A Dream" speech) was supposed to be the dedication of the Martin Luther King, Jr. National Memorial. Unfortunately, due to Hurricane Irene, those festivities will be rescheduled for a future time. The MLK Memorial opened to the public on August 22, 2011 in Washington, D.C. The location of the Memorial is southwest of the National Mall near the Roosevelt Memorial and the scenic Tidal Basin. The official address is 1964 Independence Ave. SW to commemorate the year other Civil Rights Act of 1964 was signed into legislation. MLK, JR. is one of only four non-presidents to receive such an honor near the National Mall.

The Memorial was a direct result of the efforts of King's own fraternity, Alpha Phi Alpha, Inc. for leading a 25 year campaign to have the Memorial erected. They are largely responsible for leading the efforts to raise the $120 million dollars to fund the project. Construction began in December, 2009 and the press was given a first look a year later. The Memorial consists of  a 30 foot high "Stone of Hope" which is an actual replica of Dr. King himself, who appears to be looking out over the Tidal Basin at the Jefferson Memorial. It is fitting to note that the cherry blossoms will be in full bloom during the anniversary of King's death. The "Stone of Hope" stands just past two other granite pieces which symbolize, "the mountain of despair." King's speech included the line: "Out of a mountain of despair, a stone of hope."  As a visitor, one would have to pass through" the mountain of despair" to get to the "stone of hope," a symbolic reference to King's struggle throughout his life. In addition to these, there is a 450 foot inscription wall which includes excerpts from King's sermons and speeches delivered between 1955 when the Montgomery Bus Boycott occurred and his final "I Have A Dream" speech in 1968, delivered four days before his assassination.

The space was envisioned as a quiet peaceful place and will include 24 niches along the upper walkway to also commemorate the contributions of others who gave their lives to the civil rights movement. Some have been left blank and incomplete so that as other individuals are honored, they can be added. It will enhance a visitor's ability to reflect on the great contributions and legacy of Dr. King. Of course the hope and intent is that a the memorial will be a public sanctuary that can be enjoy by future generations  regardless of race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender.

While the celebrity studded festivities had to be cancelled and many were very disappointed, it is important to note that the monument is open. It took 25 years of fundraising and fighting but it came to fruition.  I can't wait to visit with my children. I am sure we will be moved and touched by the sheer magnitude of the memorial. More importantly, it will give us an opportunity to reflect on Dr. King's contribution to our current lifestyle and how far we have come in such a short period of time. We do still have a long way to go as far as race relations are concerned(and you can't argue with me on that point because I lived in southern Georgia so I know from personal experience).  It will also give me yet another opportunity to instill in them a deeper sense of duty to be a responsible and conscientious citizen who champions freedom and democracy. So my friends, if you are in the DC area, go visit. If you aren't, put it on your list of things to see when you visit the area. Whether you embraced Dr. King and his philosophies or not, you have been impacted by his dream to see the civil right of ALL individuals realized.

Copyright August, 28, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Earthquakes and Hurricanes, Oh My!!!

Completely Random-I survived an earthquake!!! By now everyone should know that there was an earthquake on Tuesday that originated in Mineral, VA a mere 67 miles away from me. Yes, I felt it. It measured 5.9 on the Richter Scale.  I was at work. Can you imagine the looks on the faces of two year old children who had just awakened from a good nap. PRICELESS! There were several aftershocks which I have not felt. The most recent one occurred last night at 1:07 AM. It measured 4.1 but I slept through that. No damage was sustained and all my loved ones are okay. God is good. I understand both of my children were quite rattled. I only wish I had been home to console and reassure them.

As of this moment, we are watching the path of Hurricane Irene. I feel bad because I have several friends who are vacationing in the Outer Banks and are having to evacuate their little piece of heaven to avoid the potential danger of the storms, which as of this morning had winds of up to 135 MPH. We have already begun to get the rain. All of these natural occurrences should make you believe there is a God. He is in control. We can't prepare for any earthquake and we never know which way a hurricane will blow.

Life is short. Love your family and hold them close(yes, even when they get on your nerves). Tell them you love them as often as possible. Have a plan for any disasters. The worst thing that can happen is not knowing that those you love are okay and safe. Cell phones will fail and so will land lines as the earthquake proved. You may not have access to the Internet but you do need to know your peeps are safe. So develop a plan that takes these thing into consideration. Heed my advice, we are seeing more and more natural disasters than ever before so we can't say what we will or won't experience. Peace!

Copyright August 25, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Diva Digression

Yes, this something new. I am calling it "Diva Digression."  This will be the forum I use to vent. I will try to keep these to a minimum but hey, sometimes life hands you lemons and not only do you make lemonade but you might have to pour it in a glass and throw it in some one's face. I hope you like my choice of titles.

Today's rant is on double-minded individuals. The one that has caused this angst is my boss. The reader's Digest short version is this. She is a marketer, not an administrator and therefore my place of work is always in a state of confusion and chaos. She chooses to please her vocal parents and undervalues her dedicated employees. I work at a Montessori school, which I will leave nameless, since I don't know who reads my blog. New employees are thrown into the mix with little or no training and left to learn the ropes on their own or from older employees who had to do the same thing.My boss's gift is doing the opposite of what her employees request or need.

Case and point, my co-worker changed her schedule for the summer with the expectation that she'd return to her old schedule in the Fall. Well her old schedule has been given to the boss's daughter(yes, nepotism is alive and well in America) and she is being forced to reduce her hours and work a different shift. I went in to interview for an office position and was given a position working in the classroom with children. Another employee wanted to work in the classroom and is working in the office. I was always clear that I wanted a part-time schedule between 9:30 AM and 4 PM. I worked Full-time all summer and now I am being told that my request may not be able to be accommodated. In June, I was promised and assured that I would be able to work those hours in the fall.

So what is a girl to do? I am irritated to say the least. Hence this blog. I could go on and on about how poorly things are managed at work but I will not. I need to pursue my passion. My aunt Dorothy will call me and tell me, "Girl, you know you need to write that book so you can become independently wealthy. You know you don't like that job(or them nasty kids) anyway."  Well she is honest and on point. So I am requesting your prayers and encouragement, life is too short to sweat the small stuff. Pray that God will put the exact book on my heart and it will flow out of me. I know I can't write a book unless that happens. When I write a blog, it usually flows out of me with little or no editing. The exception are blogs of a sensitive nature. They too flow but I do revise them so as not to alienate anyone. If that is not His will at this time, I am okay with that. I do need Him to open a door for me though because I have gotten used to the money. Till the next time that I need to digress...Peace and blessings to each of you. Oh and tell a friend to check the blog out! Ciao!!

Copyright August 25, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

The Help

On last Sunday, I went to see the highly controversial film, THE HELP, with my cousin and my BFF. If you recall, it was one of my favorite books last summer. So you know I was anxious to view the film and see whether it adhered to the book. The film met my lofty expectations and I daresay that I enjoyed it as much as the book. It was one of the best adaptations that I've seen in a long time. Whenever I see a racially charged movie and I don't feel like I need to avoid Caucasians so I won't fight them, the movie is done well. I didn't leave the film with any hatred so that is a good thing. For those of you who read me but don't know me, Yes! I have a large contingent of Caucasian girlfriends and several of them are very close friends.

I am guessing that several of the actresses will be nominated for awards. I have to say that my favorite performances were given by Octavia Spencer and Sissy Spacek. They brought their characters to life in a real and inspiring way. Viola Davis does a phenomenal job as Abilene and she too deserves an award. I am wary of the folks who nominate for the Oscars, so I suspect she may be dissed. It was hard not to love most of the women but I felt no love for the Hilly character. Bryce Dallas Howard did an excellent job as the racist socialite trying to bully all her friends into submitting to her negative ways.

As is the norm, the film did leave out some things that the book covered. One of the things that I think was missing was the depth of Abilene's pain over losing her son. I felt it more deeply when I read the novel and my heart ached for her. I am very glad that very little coverage of   Minnie's husband and his abusive ways were left out of the story. I think it was a very intelligent move on the scriptwriter's part. Can you imagine if they had put an African American man on the screen beating his woman?  All hell would break loose. Just look at the flack that Tyler Perry receives for his portrayal of men in his films and he is African American. The move was intelligent so that that could not be the thing focused on once the film was viewed publicly. Another thing that was downplayed in the film was just how much control and power that Hilly had over her contemporaries. I also think that Elizabeth Leefolt, Abilene's employer, was not quite portrayed as the social climber that she was in the book.

After talking to Dorna, she indicated that she didn't think the original question was answered. "How did you feel raising white folks children and having to neglect (for lack of a better word) your own?" There is no real answer to that, is there? Who would actually say,"Yea, I really enjoyed taking care of these children who will eventually become my boss and treat me like crap while I left my own kids to fend for themselves." The real answer lies in the fact that African American women have and had been doing it for years. There was little choice in the matter if they wanted to be able to make any money. Of course we all know that this whole phenomena originated with slavery.  I refuse to give any press to that whole bogus institution that oppressed a whole race of people with the notion that it was biblically based.

While I enjoyed the film and the book, I am very aware of race and race issues. Always have been and probably always will be. America has so far to go in really coming to terms with race. I would love to see a day when we don't have to wonder if there is a racial undertone or connotation to what is going on. The role of race does NOT diminish because I have Caucasian friends. I am still an African American woman whose life experiences have been shaped by race, politics and economics. My experiences are not profound nor do I think they are unique.

If you talked to my grandmother, she would have something completely different to say. She did work for Caucasian people. I don't think she was mistreated but she never let the people she worked for know her business. She was afraid for them to know what she had(2 homes, 2 cars, money in the bank, etc) and that she didn't need their handouts. It is funny to me now but it was irritating when I was younger. I am sure it pissed my mom and her sisters off too. I guess she knew something we might not have been privy to. I am sure she would have hated seeing The Help, too. I guess something about being a part of that history does not allow you to relax about the hurt and pain from that period of time. My grandmother is 97 years old.

Now, with all that being said and me not giving anything away, I hope you will see the film and read the book. Let me know what you think of both. Let me know what you think of this blog. I am always going to keep it real. Sometimes the truth is hard to digest. Remember, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important."(Abilene~The Help)

Copyright August 22, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Diva Dialogue-August, 2011

We had an awesome time on the Carnival Dream! the people we met, the ports we visited were beautiful. St. Thomas remains my favorite place. And no, I was not the recipient of a lovely piece of jewelry.  You know the deals there are fantastic! Liquor deals are the best there too! LOL!I am sufficiently tan and returned relaxed. The FUNship was full of folks-about 800 children and a total of about 3500 passengers in all, with a staff of about 1300. Can you believe that-a small city floating in the ocean! Okay so it wasn't my first cruise. Some things had changed but not necessarily for the better. My chief complaints would be that the quality of food had declined some. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't memorable. Our best meal was had at the Steakhouse for which we had to pay an additional surcharge.I confess, we are foodies.  My other complaint would be that the staff was not as friendly as my first cruise. They were not rude just really subdued. Anyhoo, if I choose to cruise again, I would like to try a different cruise line. I am thinking Norwegian, no dress codes and no assigned meal times. Next year we are going to an all inclusive resort somewhere. My mind is already drifting to the possibilities! Can you tell that I live for vacations? LOL!

When you vacation is over, it is over! Going back to work is a serious reality check, no matter how much fun your vacation was or how relaxed you got. I returned to work with no shortage of stories of exactly how much drama occurred. Let's just say that after a week and a half, I am already trying to figure out when I can schedule a few days off. BTW, before I returned to work, we took in 2 films. We saw Transformers and Harry Potter 7. I wasn't feeling the Transformers. In fact, it down right bored me.  I loved the final installment of HP7. JK Rowling should be very pleased. As a fan, I felt the movie held to the story. It was an excellent adaptation and a fitting end to a great coming of age story. On Wednesday, The Help comes out. It is highly anticipated by most everyone who has read the book. I am looking forward to seeing it with my girls.

Last week, my son went a way to Boy Scout camp. It was his first time away from home with no family. I was excited for this milestone in his life. He was fearfully excited. Boy, was my house quiet. I missed his unexpected hugs and random history facts. His sister missed picking on him. I did use the week to bond with my daughter. She went to work with me everyday. She realized why I come home frustrated too. She fell in love with the babies and by the end of the week had kicked me and my 2 year olds to the curb. My son returned home, dirty and smelly. He had a great week of hiking, archery, and learning to load and shoot a BB gum. He informed that they "made me eat healthy everyday."  When asked if he'd do it again, his reply was that he would but he'd need at least six months to adjust to being back at home. I, of course, burst out laughing. You have to know that my son is most content when everyone is under one roof and preferably all in the same room.

Okay, work is getting in the way of my real life. I am praying for some changes, big and small, to take place sooner, rather than later. I haven't had much energy to blog. I haven't completed a blog on meanness. It is necessary and I will finish it soon. Not only have I not been blogging but I haven't done a great deal of reading either. Both of which tend to keep me sane. For now my stress relief is in the form of Angry Birds, Words With Friends, and my newly discovered game, Hanging With Friends. Honestly, today is the first time I have gotten on my computer since my vacation other than to pay bills. I play all the games on my Ipod. All that said, please lift me in your prayers. I am praying about work, the provision of a reasonably priced vehicle, and for some other issues that I have entrusted to the Lord. I am not stressed just feeling off about a few things. So till next time I feel like logging on to my computer long enough to type, remember that I appreciate you all. I am in a strange place of reflection but not feeling the need to share. Another reason for the limited amount of blogs. Hopefully the writer's block will go away and I will get back to my place of normal. Ciao!!!

Copyright on August 7, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe