Marriage is Serious Business

I figured out why the whole Kim Kardashian marriage thing has pissed me off. First off, I have really strong feelings about the seriousness of marriage. One of my earliest post was, "A Beautiful Wedding does Not a Beautiful Marriage Make." You can check it out here: http://missreaddiva.blogspot.com/2009/09/beautiful-wedding-does-not-beautiful.html.

Marriage is not easy. You take two people with completely different backgrounds and upbringing and you send them off to make a happy life. They stand before God and witnesses and make vows to "love, honor, and cherish in good times and bad." Just like the good times, bad times will come. God didn't promise any of us a lifetime of happiness and when you are looking for another person to provide that happiness, it is a recipe for disaster.

I have been married for fifteen and a half years. Sometimes, even I am shocked that we have lasted this long. LOL! Everyday we both have to choose to see the good in each other and figure out that what we have built together is better than what we can do alone. Some days, neither of us feels up to the challenge. On those days, tension runs deep and attitudes prevail. God already knew what type of people we'd be once sin entered the picture. Love was probably going to be hard enough with out the temptation of sin. Ironically enough, there are so many Bible passages that call us to love. When God makes the command, it is NOT conditional on our feelings or emotions. Let's face it, Jesus met people wherever they were in their stage of life. He met their every need and it didn't matter that he'd been ministering for days at a time with no rest. He didn't judge, nor did He condemn. He just loved on the person in the manner they needed it most, always spiritual, sometimes, emotionally and physically too.

I can attest that the first year of marriage is difficult. No one can fully prepare you for what changes in you will have to result in order for your marriage to work. Even after you have years of marriage under your belt, you still have to work at communicating and compromising. After 72 days, you have done very little bonding, especially if you are spending half that time away from each other and in the public spotlight. I am not judging Kim K but you have to wonder what her motivation to marry really was. I can understand the getting caught up in the fantasy. After all, the whole wedding thing was a public spectacle. Love has its public moments but it really is a private affair.

You have to do the work to build your relationship so that you and your spouse can both be the best of your selves in public and private. Living out love the way God commands, takes some serious prayer and commitment on both individuals part. When Kris Humphries is finding out that his marriage is over from the media, you know that someone wasn't prepared to handle marriage. I mean really. You couldn't give him the courtesy of a personal conversation before going public. Then you are wondering why everyone thinks it is a sham. Let's be mature here.

 Readers, if you are thinking about marriage, I can't implore you enough to get professional counseling. A neutral party will give you things to consider about marriage that you may not be thinking of as you try to fulfill your ultimate wedding dreams. A wedding lasts one day, a marriage is supposed to be for life. Don't make the same mistake as Kim and many others.  Marriage is serious business. Marriage is not Big Business.

I leave you with what God's Word says about love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (TNIV) states, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.Verse 13 goes on to state, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." It is important to note that love perseveres. Persevere means to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly. Enough said. Till next time, peace.

Leaving you in Diva Love,

Pam