Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Please, Help Me Out!

Here we go with another random post but this is not quite a Diva Dialogue. These are just questions that can provide good food for thought or discussion based on things I've dealt with, discussed with someone,  or read in some magazine in the past week. Some serious, and some silly...remember, I said that I'd write about whatever, whenever.


1. Monica, this one is for you: What is your favorite cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory? My two favorites are the 30th Anniversary Cheesecake and the Kahlua Almond Fudge Cheesecake.


2. If you are single, would you sign up on a site that would only pair you with Sugar Daddies? There will be a post about this topic because damn, who'd a thunk it? Yes, I will classify you as a gold digger if your answer is affirmative but hey, it is only my opinion. We all want the finer things in life right?


3. If you are the parent of a bi-racial child, specifically if you are African American or Hispanic, have you ever been mistaken for the Nanny instead of the Mommy? If so, how did you handle the situation?


4. Have you ever thought about walking away from your current life situation and not looking back? What pushed you to that point? What kept you from actually running away?


5. Would you tell a friend/sister/cousin/neighbor if you caught her significant other cheating on her? My opinion of this has changed over the years. My answer is yes but in my maturity, I have learned that I can not have a predetermined way the situation should turn out once the person is given the information. SN: if Dmitri has the brazen audacity or gall to cheat, I damn sure want to know and I will solicit help kicking his a$$ if necessary. Oops! Did I really say that? Yes I damn sure did! Now, on to the next one.....


6. Women, do you try to do everything yourself or have you learned to as for help? I do as much as I can without ever asking for help. God has put me in situations where I had to learn that it is okay to reach out and ask for help. It is all a part of that whole relationship thing, you know. It still isn't easy but it is necessary so I don't lose my mind. Pride comes before the fall.


7. Is fatherlessness the biggest problem in the African American community? While I certainly think it contributes to serious problems, I don't think it it the most serious problem. I think all fathers should take care of their children and the mothers should allow them that opportunity. It should not be dependent on whether he is paying his child support or not. Now if the man is detrimental. that may be another story and certainly perhaps supervised visits might be in order. All children need male and female role models in their lives for growth and development and there are other things that could benefit our communities as well.

Okay, I think this is enough food for thought. I would like feedback from you. Agree or disagree if you must but at least respond. I am curious to know what you think on these issues. For now, I am out of here. Have a blessed day!

Copyright June 15, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

2 comments:

  1. HAHAHA..ok I will answer the ones I can:

    #2 -- I have a boyfriend but not married but ahhhh NOPE would not go to a site that would hook me up with a Suga Daddy. Thats really funny.

    #4 -- Have I ever thought about walking out... sadly yes. AFter a long and I do mean LONGstring of things happened in my life, I basically gave up. I was tired of trying and thoguht someone else could take care of my family much better than I could but man, lookin into those kids eyes, and knowing and realizing that God makes no mistakes and that He meant what He said when He said He would never leave or forsake me literally brought tears to my eyes one day. Hasn't been easy but it sure ahs been worth it!

    #6 -- I do it myself and find it really hard since I have been sicgle so long to let anyone else help me. Yeah yeah, I knwo I need to work on that : )

    and #7---OHHHHHH #7

    my daughter's father is a deadbeat to say the least. If ever I could say hate and his name in the same sentence.. well, you know. and its not about money for me. My daughter is a honor roll student, plays 3 sports in high school and is an all aropund good kid, as that goes, and all she wants is for her dad to come watch her play basketball or softball and all she gets is empty promises. I have to sit and watch and listen to her cry all the time (and she 15) and it breaks my heart to know that I chose this man in the beginning and that he is not a man of his word to her. BUT God goes beyond beyond and I know for a fact that He will take care of my child as a REAL FATHER would and could. I know that He is never going to leave her and always has a listening ear to give. Does she need her earthly father to help raise and nurture her so that she can deal with men the correct way.. I really think so. But God has given her some stong male role models b/c her dad is not there and I really believe she will be ok : )

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  2. Danette, thanks for being candid. I understand Bri's situation all too well. I am okay but it took a while getting there. As children, we don't realize that we aren't responsible for the sometimes poor behavior of adults. #2 was a sad commentary and well it just disgusted me. I will be praying for you, you are good with your children. It isn't easy for any of us.

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