Wisdom, Dispensed

I came across this and thought it was worth me printing here. We can all use the wisdom of the elderly. Life is short and often times the journey is not without its bumps and bruises. I am not really suffering from writer's block, just been dealing with a lot of emotional stuff and can't articulate it through this venue right now. I will return to normal soon. I am trusting God that this season will pass and it will pass swiftly with me learning whatever He is trying to teach me. Enjoy and remember to bless someone today!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of
the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio.

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote
the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most
requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so
here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are
sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Don't buy stuff you don't need.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9.  Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no
idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't
be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye
But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful.  Clutter
weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to
you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life,
don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the
fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion.
Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words
'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget. 

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because
of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw
everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already
have not what you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Mega-Million Mayhem

Last week, millions of folks were fantasizing about how they would spend the 540 million dollars if they were fortunate enough to have the winning six digits. I am not a lottery player by any stretch of the imagination but like most Americans, I got caught up in the hype and bought a few tickets. Yeah, I have dreams of the foundations I'd start and the great things I'd do with the cash after I take care of my loved ones. Well, here I sit blogging so you know I did NOT win a penny. No surprise there since my chances of winning were about as great as Satan getting back into heaven.

A week later and one of three winners has come forward. So why the post? There is a woman in Maryland who claims to have a winning ticket. She has her co-workers in an uproar because they think she cheated them out of their winnings, she claims to have bought her own tickets that had nothing to do with the pool. Let me just state that I think there have to be some ground rules to an office pool. First, I believe at least two people should go purchase the tickets. Copies need to made and distributed to everyone who participates. You have the right to buy your own tickets but to insure no impropriety, they need to be purchased separately. As of this moment, the woman is claiming not to be able to locate the winning ticket.  Really she lost the winning ticket. Come on! Some would call this karma. 

My first problem with her is that she went to the NY Post before she went to the Baltimore Sun (her local newspaper). Why go anywhere till you have all your ducks in a row? For me, that translates to an attorney and a financial planner. The media has fueled the fire by allowing her to continue to hog attention. In my opinion, she would be one of those winners who will eventually be broke. She has seven children. If she has the ticket, I doubt it is lost. Her behind is probably getting her children out of town and setting things up so she claim her millions and get on a plane and disappear. At the rate she's going, she ought to disappear. People do crazy things for money, Disgruntled McDonald's employees would fit that bill. If said ticket exists, it needs to be presented to the MD State Lottery Commissioner by September 28th. We will continue to watch the drama unfold because I can assure you, there will be additional drama. Be careful with those office pools. Money brings out the best and worst in people. Ciao!

Divaliciously Blessed by Jehovah-Jireh,

Pam

Blind-sided

Ever been going along thinking all is well in your little world only to have someone project their own emotional vomit on you and make you re-think what you believe? If you have been following me for a while, you know that I believe the moody person(as well as the emotionally unstable, unforgiving, and/or bitter) controls the relationship.I hate when this happens.

I am secure and emotionally stable. I usually help people handle their business and get through their problems. Realizing that you can't help someone is often painful. Yet, God is in control and not only does He control every aspect of your life but theirs as well. So the next time you are blind-sided by some one's emotional BS, take a step back and pray for them. Don't fall prey to their emotional folly. Don't argue with them or try to reason it out, it probably isn't worth the time or the effort. Time heals all wounds but a person has to be willing to allow the healing or seek it. Ephesians 4:31-32 says it best, "Put aside all bitterness, losing your temper, anger, shouting, and slander, along with every other evil. Be kind, compassionate, and forgiving to each other, in the same way God forgave you in Christ."  That said, I wonder how you all handle these type of individuals? Gotta go, the beach is calling! Ciao!

Divaliciously yours, 

Pam

Weekend Reflections Revisited

Last week I had a lot on my mind. Today is National Hoodie Day to demand justice for Trayvon Martin. Did you wear yours? This situations till bothers me. It pisses me off that the GOP candidates have had little or nothing to say on the issue. They are all idiots anyway and this simply further confirms it in my mind.  Once the matter is finally resolved, I am hoping we will take a serious stand on Black on Black crime. The murder rate in some of our largest cities is absolutely appalling. We can't keep crying out for justice when one of our children is gunned down senselessly by another race if we aren't willing to take that same stance when we abuse and mistreat each other. Now that is something to think about.

On Saturday, I posted a friendship blog before I gallivanted off to hang with my college friends. I was sort of nonchalant and not very excited. Well, we did have a great time laughing, crying, and coming up with a plan for world peace. Actually, 6 out of  7 of us showed up and we progressed like we'd never been apart. It was a non-stressful day. On Sunday, God had me rethink friendship in light of the blog on the day before. On Sunday, I along with several other ladies, some of whom I consider friends and others I'd classify as acquaintances spent the entire day with another friend. I am in a Bible Study with these women and I also pray with some of them for Moms in Prayer( formerly Moms in Touch, Intl.). Now this was not your run of the mill everyday friend gathering. We had been asked to come to the hospital to pray for and surround a family in love. 

Long story short, the family was in a crisis situation. It is a situation you don't want to see anyone you care about have to deal with. They had some very tough decisions to make.  My friend's ten year old son's health has deteriorated rapidly in the past few months and they didn't think he was going to make it through the day. He did survive the night and as of this posting, he is going to hospice with minimal survival intervention. The parents are at peace with the situation and trusting God with everything else. Why this situation caused me to reflect on friendship is varied. First of all, to be called upon to come in such a dire situation is a privilege and honor. It is heart-wrenching to witness a family's pain and agony. To pray in the midst of everything is also a privilege. I love the family dearly but this is not a girlfriend I hang out with. It is just an unwritten rule that we have each others back. 

As I watched everything play out(and I did feel like I was having an out of body experience at some points) I thought that if I was ever in crisis, this scene would play out for me. We came without question to do whatever needed to be done. We experienced every manner of emotion in a 7-8 hour period. We called our spouses and they came without question and jumped in without reservation. As I type this, I am getting teary. I am so thankful that God has blessed me with friends like this. These aren't people I hang out with and chat up on the phone but they are people who I pray with and perhaps that is more personal and represents a stronger bond. I am not saying that I can't pray with my college friends because we've been there and  done that in the midst of some serious life issues and I know we will do it again. It's just that yesterday really showed me that God's body is truly connected and we can't function with out all the parts. (Ref: Romans 12:3-8) Not only do friendships have their seasons but every friendship is different with its own unique flavor. Don't take for granted that person with whom you have limited history but hardly ever have lunch with or call on the phone. I discovered that she values me despite our limited time together. She respected my ability to seek God's face on her behalf. She felt comfortable sharing her pain and anguish and to me that meant she knew the real bond of friendship. God is all knowing and ever mindful of what we need. I needed a fresh perspective on some things and perhaps you do too. I also needed an attitude adjustment. Life is short and precious. Don't sweat the small stuff. Value the friendships you have and cherish the moments you are given. They may be short or they may last a lifetime but give your all and don't worry about the future. Make sure your real aim is to please an Audience of ONE. Peace!

In Reflective Diva Love, 

Pam

Seasons Change

Happy Saturday everyone. I am going to spend the afternoon with my college girlfriends. We all live in the DMV(except one who is on the mission field in South Africa-she is joining us) but life keeps us apart more than it should. As I anticipate seeing these women who have been with me through so many of my life's highlights, I am forced to reflect on how much relationships change over time. The Bible says it best, "To everything, there is a season." (ref: Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV)

Once young and idyllic, I could not see how true this really would be. Of course there is nothing new under the sun and our God is wise and all-knowing. There are seven of us and two have not checked in to say that they will be in attendance. They are sort of off the radar. Not unusual, it is what it is. What' is funny about all this is that each of our unique roles in this group have changed. It is comical. A friend once told me that "you are the glue that hold the group together." Oh I argued with her and shot her down. Imagine my surprise when I had to confess to her how correct she had been in her assessment. I went away and well, things sorta fell apart. Upon my return, I sorta fell back into my old role but my heart wasn't there. Oh I still loved these women fiercely but my days of orchestrating and planning were OVER. I had moved on. Life had dealt me a hand and I had to change and embrace it. 

Honestly, we have all changed. Life has dealt all of us our own hands. We have each chosen to handle things as best we can. At the core, we all love each other but things have changed. We have had to rally in big ways and small. We have had to adapt and change our support systems. Some one else is the glue. Some have retreated under the pressure of life's circumstance. If you don't tell any one how bad things are, then not only can you not get help but you can't be judged either. I say it all the time, this blog is my therapy. I work my issues out on you. I am always happy to see these women but my excitement has waned. Sometimes it seems as if it is too much work to remain a functioning group. I just wonder if you all are in the same place. Are you mourning the loss of the way things used to be? Are you embracing the changes of your friendships? Have your friendships changed over the years in ways that you couldn't foresee? Do you have friendships that always pick up where they left off no matter what? Those friendships exist with the ladies that I grew up with(at home).  Are you accepting of these things? Just wondering! I am in a melancholy frame of mind. Hope I have a great afternoon! I hope you do too! Ciao!

In Ambivalent Diva Love,

Pam

No Justice, No Peace

I have had this blog in my head for days now. I wanted to wait because I realized that I am passionately emotional about this subject. Trayvon Martin and his unjustified homicide are all over the news and social media. It hurts my heart especially when I see his mom on the news trying to hold it together and be strong to plead for justice in the death of her son. By now, everyone knows the details so I won't digress.

Today, President Obama finally spoke on the situation and honestly, he echoed the sentiments of African Americans everywhere. "If I had a son, he'd look like Trayvon." Well I do have a son. Not a day goes by that I am not keenly aware that my baby has to be taught some lessons that Caucasians don't even have to concern themselves about.  It is a painful reality of being Black in America. Racism remains alive and well in America despite Obama's presidency and occupancy in the White House. 

We HAVE to teach our sons about dealing with the police. We have to teach them about the preconceived notions that many will have just because they are young and Black in America. We have to teach them that their presence on an elevator may make some person uncomfortable by their music choice and apparently their clothing choices and a host of other things that thwart their innocence way too soon. Our reality is not yours. For a change, I am not being cynical, this is real. I think the straw that broke the camel's back and made me put pen to paper was Geraldo Rivera. His simple ass actually said that Trayvon's hoodie is just as responsible for his being shot as the killer. Really, Geraldo? Do you actually believe that? Last time I checked, hoodies were meant to keep us warm. Everyone in my house loves them. Today, Miami Heat showed up for a photo up in support of Trayvon Martin and guess what? They were all wearing hoodies.

The outcry for Trayvon is important because the discussion is not to try Trayvon's killer in the media. The real issue is for justice to be done and a fair investigation take place so the family can have peace of mind and closure. We all deserve the right to walk around without some overzealous individual questioning our rights to be there. There are soo many laws which can be reviewed but this is one that definitely elicits scrutiny.  By all accounts, the police in this case were negligent. They failed to question witnesses, they took the shooter's word without question, they failed to notify the family in a timely manner despite the fact that they had access to his cell phone, and the list goes on. 

I want my son to be comfortable wherever in whatever environment he is placed in. I want him to be seen as a person with rights. As a parent, I will always worry about his welfare. As he grows older, I will worry more about him in terms of where he goes and how he's viewed. Hell, I worry about my husband and brother, and nephews etc. They have an undue burden to deal with because they are Black males in a society that perceives them as threatening. This mentality has been perpetuated for centuries. We can thank the vestiges of slavery for that. I don't foresee a time when that won't be an issue but I'd love to witness it in my lifetime. I am not getting my hopes up. I've seen to much and I know too much. History has not been good to our men and it definitely hasn't been fair. My prayer is that we get to see justice not only for Trayvon but for anyone who is gunned down senseless while walking home with a bag of skittle and a can of iced tea while chatting with their girlfriend. There shouldn't have to rallies and demonstrations and vigils to get a serious investigation. Every life is equally valuable. We cannot allow individuals to take the law into their own hands and then claim self defense. Trayvon belonged in the gated community and was minding his own business. On any given day, we all deserve that. Justice for Trayvon means justice for everyone. I don't think any of us should be at peace with anything less. Trayvon could be your son, he could definitely be mine.

In Justified Diva Love,

Pam

Sensational Saturday

What's up? I know I've been MIA. Let's just chalk it up to life. It happens. Some days good, some days bad, and some days just the grace of God. Today is a good day. It is beautiful outside for the 17th of March. I mean the DMV has pretty much had no snow fall this winter. I am so thankful for that. I think God was looking out for this sister who loves to see a pretty snowfall blanket the earth then melt the next day. I say that because my faithful vehicle has no heat. I think God spared the harsh winter because I am not ready to buy a new to me vehicle. Thank you Lord for blessing me! LOL!

It is tax time. My clients have decreased which I guess is good because I have more work opportunities. Now I am having to prioritize my time a little better and make more moments count. I am trying to stay focused but of course there are family and friends pulling a sista in various directions. I am keenly aware that if Michelle Obama thinks it is important to take time to care foe herself, then that should be a priority for me (and you) as well. So get the mani and the pedi, go out with your girlfriends, or say "No!" to everyone and enjoy some time alone.

Have you folks discovered Pinterest? I love some of the recipes on there. There are great cleaning ideas too. You can pretty much find anything that interests you on the site. I have also found several neat blogs that I keep tabs on regularly. I am surprised at the number of blogs dedicated to cooking. For a foodie like me, that is heaven. There are also some great shower ideas on there. Looks like I will be hosting one soon. My sister is pregnant and she is having a girl....FINALLY! Whoot-woot!

I have not had a chance to read for fun as much as I'd like but I have a list of books that I am going to read very soon. Those titles include Home Front, Defending Jacob, Gathering of Waters, and Lone Wolf.  Any one got a book they want to recommend? I know there is some down time calling my name,. As for television, I did catch Oprah's interview with Whitney Houston's family. I am praying for Bobbi Kristina. I really liked Pat and Gary. I thought the interview was okay considering how little time had passed. It was very sad. Time waits for no one. Yet again, another gentle reminder that Life is short, it is not promised, and that God and God alone knows exactly how much time we have here on earth. That being said, it is a beautiful day in the neighborhood. I need to get out and enjoy it. I just wanted to check in. I know this a random post but I am alive and well. I hope you are too. Happy St. Patrick's Day! Have a safe and blessed weekend!

In True Diva Love, 

Pam