Ask any parent and you know parenting ain't easy. It has its share of ups and downs. Emotions run deep and wide and high and low. It is a monumental task, not for the faint of heart. It is always a work in progress.
I love my children. Often, they take me places I really don't want to go. They challenge and inspire me in ways I never thought possible. They make me laugh and yes they make me cringe. As much as I want them to represent me in a favorable way, I don't want them to be little mini-mes. I want them to be independent thinkers who impact the world in great ways, and small.
No parent wants to raise a child molestor, murderer, or crack addict. Hopefully all parents do the best they can. Parenting doesn't come with a handbook. Parenting takes stamina. You deal with upgrades, downgrades, and everything in between. You are working against peer pressure, entitlement, childhood rights, and so many other things. Sometimes good parents raise bad ass children. Children make disappointing choices. That doesn't make you a poor parent.
There are no longer villages to assist you on the journey. Your parents may not live nearby. We no longer live in the same neighborhood for years and years where people have each others back...you may not even know your neighbor's name. Yet, it really still takes a village to raise a child. Sometimes, your baby needs someone they can talk to and depend on, that's not you. They still need someone to trust. You need someone you trust, to be there for your child in those harrowing moments that they "hate you and you don't understand the complications of being 11, 14, or 17." You can't be everything to your child all the time. It's just not possible.
One of the most important things you do as a parent is discipline your child. You have to set boundaries but you also have to foster an environment where they learn, think and grow independently. My friends and I discuss discipline all the time. Another controversial issue...to spank or not. Whatever your choice, you need to make sure you are parenting your own values, not society's. What I mean is, some things are more important than others. Example, do you fuss at your children for running around the store at the mall because it is really irritating to you or do you fuss because you see how everyone in the mall is looking at you for having unruly children? Sometimes, we discipline for things that might not be important because of the expectations of others. I shared this with a dear friend of mind and she agreed that often she fussed at her kids because she was concerned about what people might think about her as a parent. Personally, once I freed myself of that pressure, things worked better for me and my children. I have to parent based on what I believe is important and not worry about how you judge me.
What is the legacy that I leave for my children? Will I recover if they do something so out there that I am ashamed to show my face in public? Will they impact they world for the better? or worse? Whatever the future holds, I know this to be true...Parenting is a gift. Sometimes you like it and sometimes you don't. Occasionally you want to trade it in for something else. You can't re-gift your kids. We don't chose our children and they don't choose us. God gives us all exactly what we need. Each day is a new day to do better for you and them. My advice to you, mother or father...do your best, model the best, and give your all. Leave the rest up to God. Til next time, enjoy your weekend!
Copyright October 23, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Friday, October 23, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Being Proactive about Preventing the Swine Flu(H1N1)
Hey folks! Just sharing some info since everyone is in an uproar about Swine flu, lack of availability of flu shots, and panic in general. It is better to be proactive. I am still on the fence about getting the shot...For the record, I've never even had a regular flu shot. My immune system tends to be really strong but I spend a lot of time around m kids and I've gotten more very mild colds than anything else since I had them and spend so much time in school.
The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible to avoid coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.
While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1
infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms
and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not
fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced
(instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):
1. Frequent hand-washing
2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch
any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe).
3. *Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you
don't trust salt). *H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the
throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms.
Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt
water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on
an infected one. Don't underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative
method.
4. Similar to 3 above, *clean your nostrils at least once every day
with warm salt water. *Not everybody may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra
Neti (very good Yoga asanas to clean nasal cavities), but *blowing the
nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds
dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral
population.*
5. *Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C
(Amla and other citrus fruits). *If you have to supplement with
Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost
absorption.
6. *Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can.
*Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the
reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach
where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.
So what do you think, are you getting the shot or not? Why or why not?
Copyright October 19, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible to avoid coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.
While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1
infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms
and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not
fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced
(instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):
1. Frequent hand-washing
2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch
any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe).
3. *Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you
don't trust salt). *H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the
throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms.
Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt
water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on
an infected one. Don't underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative
method.
4. Similar to 3 above, *clean your nostrils at least once every day
with warm salt water. *Not everybody may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra
Neti (very good Yoga asanas to clean nasal cavities), but *blowing the
nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds
dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral
population.*
5. *Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C
(Amla and other citrus fruits). *If you have to supplement with
Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost
absorption.
6. *Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can.
*Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the
reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach
where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.
So what do you think, are you getting the shot or not? Why or why not?
Copyright October 19, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Can You Stand Yourself?
When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see? When you are alone are you pleased with your thoughts, actions, and deeds? What is the way you talk to yourself? Is it positive or negative? Can you even stand to be alone with yourself and your thoughts?
If you are afraid to really be alone, you should check the root of that problem. Solitude is important (see previous post entitled "Where Do You Escape.)" I love being alone. I really like myself but not in a narcissistic way. I can see my good attributes but I can also be objective enough to know that I have not arrived. I am keenly aware that I have imperfections and flaws.
The voice that speaks clearly to me is one full of positive energy. I encourage myself to be better and to do better each day. We are all given that opportunity each morning we are blessed enough to open our eyes and see a new day. I also know that the Holy Spirit speaks too. Sometimes He corrects and convicts and other times I'm given clear direction. In other cases, I am reminded of God's love for me despite my frailties and imperfections.
I know people that have difficulty being alone. They can't sleep without the television on at night. They fill their lives with activities during the day, and sometimes fill their beds with unworthy folks at night. They are in loveless marriages or maybe participating in activities they don't particularly enjoy.They have let the activity crowd out the positive, or any, self talk and perhaps have given ear to Satan and his demons. Spiritual warfare begins in the mind. An idle mind can be the devil's workshop but you have to be proactive not to allow that to happen.
Sometimes it's easy and others, not so much. Have you ever been chilling with your thoughts, say gazing out the window and your mind wanders someplace inappropriate? It has happened to me and I know it has happened to you. You are sitting there reflecting on something and all of a sudden you are thinking about someone who has done you wrong and how you are going to beat the crap out of them or embarrass them. (SMH)
When you look in the mirror and you are dressed to the nines, do you ever doubt your beauty? Where does that doubt come from. It could be a tiny seed planted years ago, when you were little, and some adult made a random negative comment that you haven't let go. Well I'm here to tell you to replace the message. Affirm yourself everyday til you can stand in that mirror and feel worthy of the beauty you possess.
If you can't stand being with you, the time has come to make a change. (Y'all know I love MJ's Man in the Mirror, right) Alone time is necessary for clarity. With clarity you can discover your purpose. Sometimes you can put your finger on a problem that needs resolution. Being alone allows you to focus and become aware of changes in your body, your relationships, or your mental health. So today, I challenge you...if you don't like yourself, make a small cange each day. Other people can't like you if you don't like yourself. So check yourself, before you wreck yourself. Let the healing begin my friend. You need to love you before someone else can.
Copyright October 18, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
If you are afraid to really be alone, you should check the root of that problem. Solitude is important (see previous post entitled "Where Do You Escape.)" I love being alone. I really like myself but not in a narcissistic way. I can see my good attributes but I can also be objective enough to know that I have not arrived. I am keenly aware that I have imperfections and flaws.
The voice that speaks clearly to me is one full of positive energy. I encourage myself to be better and to do better each day. We are all given that opportunity each morning we are blessed enough to open our eyes and see a new day. I also know that the Holy Spirit speaks too. Sometimes He corrects and convicts and other times I'm given clear direction. In other cases, I am reminded of God's love for me despite my frailties and imperfections.
I know people that have difficulty being alone. They can't sleep without the television on at night. They fill their lives with activities during the day, and sometimes fill their beds with unworthy folks at night. They are in loveless marriages or maybe participating in activities they don't particularly enjoy.They have let the activity crowd out the positive, or any, self talk and perhaps have given ear to Satan and his demons. Spiritual warfare begins in the mind. An idle mind can be the devil's workshop but you have to be proactive not to allow that to happen.
Sometimes it's easy and others, not so much. Have you ever been chilling with your thoughts, say gazing out the window and your mind wanders someplace inappropriate? It has happened to me and I know it has happened to you. You are sitting there reflecting on something and all of a sudden you are thinking about someone who has done you wrong and how you are going to beat the crap out of them or embarrass them. (SMH)
When you look in the mirror and you are dressed to the nines, do you ever doubt your beauty? Where does that doubt come from. It could be a tiny seed planted years ago, when you were little, and some adult made a random negative comment that you haven't let go. Well I'm here to tell you to replace the message. Affirm yourself everyday til you can stand in that mirror and feel worthy of the beauty you possess.
If you can't stand being with you, the time has come to make a change. (Y'all know I love MJ's Man in the Mirror, right) Alone time is necessary for clarity. With clarity you can discover your purpose. Sometimes you can put your finger on a problem that needs resolution. Being alone allows you to focus and become aware of changes in your body, your relationships, or your mental health. So today, I challenge you...if you don't like yourself, make a small cange each day. Other people can't like you if you don't like yourself. So check yourself, before you wreck yourself. Let the healing begin my friend. You need to love you before someone else can.
Copyright October 18, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Where Do You Escape?
Where do you run when you need a quiet moment? What do you do to ease the burden of life? A moment of solitude is tantamount to one's overall well being. So what does that look like for you? I imagine that it looks different for everyone of us but it is still a small piece of heaven that makes a world of difference to your sanity.
Solitude is vital to your well being. It will help you focus, or in some cases refocus. It will enable you to be a better person for those who depend on you. It is not something you should feel guilty about. Everyone NEEDS an escape from time to time. Prayer is always a wonderful way to shut out the noise and calm the spirit. Can't nobody do you like Jesus! We all know that that is not always the first thing we think of and that's okay but trust me, a few minutes with the Father and every child will feel better.
When I get that opportunity to escape, I am reading a book, a magazine, or a devotional. Nothing like a good novel to lose your worries and focus on someone else's. A good book will have characters you can imagine or situations you understand but perhaps would resolve differently.
Another escape for me is cooking or baking. I love feeding people but on my terms. I want to do it when I want to do it, not on demand. Chances are if I have to cook or bake, it is best done when I can get in my kitchen and be alone. No distractions, no help. In my house this tends to happen late at night. If we are having people over, I wait til everyone is settled and go for it on my own.
My last favorite escape is a good book store or a Hallmark store. I love cards. Hallmark has the best little trinkets and great stationary. The book store is just a wonderful place to browse for not only books but CDs, journals, and sometimes even games. No one ever looks disgruntled in the bookstore.
So what brings you joy in the midst of chaos? Is there a place you can go and just be free of life's burdens, even if it is only for a few minutes. If you can't define it, re-evaluate your situation. Sometimes, it only takes a five minute reprieve to clear your head. Your solitude might not look like mine, but chances are it will make you feel better. Jesus always stole away to pray. He knew the value of solitude and we should defintely follow His example. You can't be everything to all people if you are not good to yourself. So I am looking forward to some new and exciting ideas for solitude. Share with me folks!
Copyright October 13, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Solitude is vital to your well being. It will help you focus, or in some cases refocus. It will enable you to be a better person for those who depend on you. It is not something you should feel guilty about. Everyone NEEDS an escape from time to time. Prayer is always a wonderful way to shut out the noise and calm the spirit. Can't nobody do you like Jesus! We all know that that is not always the first thing we think of and that's okay but trust me, a few minutes with the Father and every child will feel better.
When I get that opportunity to escape, I am reading a book, a magazine, or a devotional. Nothing like a good novel to lose your worries and focus on someone else's. A good book will have characters you can imagine or situations you understand but perhaps would resolve differently.
Another escape for me is cooking or baking. I love feeding people but on my terms. I want to do it when I want to do it, not on demand. Chances are if I have to cook or bake, it is best done when I can get in my kitchen and be alone. No distractions, no help. In my house this tends to happen late at night. If we are having people over, I wait til everyone is settled and go for it on my own.
My last favorite escape is a good book store or a Hallmark store. I love cards. Hallmark has the best little trinkets and great stationary. The book store is just a wonderful place to browse for not only books but CDs, journals, and sometimes even games. No one ever looks disgruntled in the bookstore.
So what brings you joy in the midst of chaos? Is there a place you can go and just be free of life's burdens, even if it is only for a few minutes. If you can't define it, re-evaluate your situation. Sometimes, it only takes a five minute reprieve to clear your head. Your solitude might not look like mine, but chances are it will make you feel better. Jesus always stole away to pray. He knew the value of solitude and we should defintely follow His example. You can't be everything to all people if you are not good to yourself. So I am looking forward to some new and exciting ideas for solitude. Share with me folks!
Copyright October 13, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The Green-Eyed Monster
Let's talk about envy. Envy is defined as "a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc." (ref: dictionary.com) Touchy subject, huh? We all know that envy is quite closely related to jealousy and none of us wants to lay claim to being either of these. Seriously, we have all been envious of someone or something at some point or another whether we admitted it or not. It is such an ugly thing to see it rear its head.
The thing about wanting what someone else has is this....all that glitters ain't gold. The grass may look greener but it takes a whole lottashit manure to make it that way. I remember sitting behind a couple where the husband was so attentive to his spouse, placing his arm around her and holding her hand in church. I used to think, Dang, I wish my hubby payed that much attention to me. Yeah well, I really did not want that type of attention because it was quickly revealed that the husband was physically abusive. I love my husband but "I'll kill him dead before he lays his hands on me." (Another Color Purple flashback, can you tell I love that book/movie?) Maybe there's a friend with a huge house and lovely car, designer bags all the current trendy fashions that you wish you were rocking. For all you know, she might not have a bit of furniture in that huge house or lick of cash in the bank. She could be robbing Peter to pay Paul, charging up credit cards to boost her ego. Do you really want to be in that situation? I think not. Nothing pisses me off more than a friend saying to me, "I've never seen that before." Do you really think that because we are friends, you should know everything in my closet? Why are you studying my clothes that hard anyway? We all have a bag of tricks nobody knows about but Jesus.
There is nothing new about envy. It starts back in biblical times. Cain was envious of his brother Abel because God favored Abel's offering, never mind that Cain failed to offer God his best. Letting his envy get the best of him, Cain murdered Abel. (ref: Gen. 4:3-8) Surely, none of us is that envious of anyone, I hope. We can see how that seed of jealousy can turn in to something much more sinister. God must've known how we'd be, because He addresses this in the tenth commandment. We shouldn't covet anything that doesn't belong to us.
I know it is easier said than done. We all want something we don't or can't have. Perhaps, God knows we don't need that particular thing because we really can't handle it. There is a reason we are supposed to be content with what we have. Don't be envious of anyone, compliment them and move on. What God has for you, is for you. Until next time, I am outta here. Smooches!
Copyright October 11, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
The thing about wanting what someone else has is this....all that glitters ain't gold. The grass may look greener but it takes a whole lotta
There is nothing new about envy. It starts back in biblical times. Cain was envious of his brother Abel because God favored Abel's offering, never mind that Cain failed to offer God his best. Letting his envy get the best of him, Cain murdered Abel. (ref: Gen. 4:3-8) Surely, none of us is that envious of anyone, I hope. We can see how that seed of jealousy can turn in to something much more sinister. God must've known how we'd be, because He addresses this in the tenth commandment. We shouldn't covet anything that doesn't belong to us.
I know it is easier said than done. We all want something we don't or can't have. Perhaps, God knows we don't need that particular thing because we really can't handle it. There is a reason we are supposed to be content with what we have. Don't be envious of anyone, compliment them and move on. What God has for you, is for you. Until next time, I am outta here. Smooches!
Copyright October 11, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Miss Read's Favorite Things
We all have things we absolutely love and can't live without. You know those things we could be a billboard for. The things we keep talking about and raving to anyone who will listen. You know how Oprah has the show where she gives the audience all of her favorite things, well it is one of the few episodes, I always try to watch. Who doesn't love a giveaway? Sorry, I ain't Oprah and as of the moment I can't afford to give away anything. I told you that I was going to be random in my posts. I also want you to get to know me, so I am going to share a few things with you. So what do I love.....let me share the obsessions........
1. MAC Products particularly, lipsticks, blushes, and lipglasses is my favorite make-up. A few of my favorite colors are Sophisto, Hushabye, Viva Glam VI, and Chintz. If you think MAC is too pricey, don't sleep on Avon. They have hip color choices and they are not too expensive.
2. Real Simple, InStyle, and Essence are my favorite magazines. You can't beat RS's info for cooking and organizing, Essence addresses issues that are important for African American women, and InStyle for fashion in all price ranges.
3. Scrabble is my favorite board game and I have it on my computer too. I love my Wii, Mario Kart and Wii Resort are two of my favorite games.
4. Bookstores are my favorite place to browse. I prefer Barnes and Noble over Borders. Books-A-Million is great too.
5. If you need a good author, check out John Sandford, J. California Cooper, Francine Rivers, or Jodi Picoult. Each of them is good in a different way. JCC captures the essence of human nature in all of her characters. JS writes and excellent suspense novel. JP deals with difficult issues and choices no one ever hopes to be faced with. FR handles Christian fiction in a real, uncondemning way.
6. If I am not in a bookstore, chances are you will find me in Home Goods, TJMaxx, Marshalls, or Ross. I don't believe in paying full price for hardly anything. Despite my passion for inexpensive, I know my clothes never look cheap.
7. While I know there are cheap candles to be found, I still love Yankee Candle Store. My favs are Harvest, Island Mango, Mango Peach Salsa, and Holiday Home Sweet Home.
8. A well dressed man. Whoo Hoo! Ain't nothing sexier. If he smells good, that's even better.
9. I love sweet tea, think GA sweet. I like Moscato, a sweet white wine. I make a mean sangria and an awesome Strawberry Daquiri, I'd drink them anytime and so would my family and friends. Pepsi is my cola of choice. I love Simply Lemonade's Raspberry Lemonade too. Finally, if you haven't tried Cranberry Splash Sierra Mist, you are missing a treat.
10. Shot glasses! I love them, I collect them, I have them sent to me by my friends from locations that I have not visited. The more unique the better.
I could go on and on but I can save it for another time and another post. One day I will put together a collection of my favorite things to give to a dedicated reader, so keep checking me out because you never know what surprises I might have in store for you! Til next time...Peace and blessings!
Copyright October 8, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
1. MAC Products particularly, lipsticks, blushes, and lipglasses is my favorite make-up. A few of my favorite colors are Sophisto, Hushabye, Viva Glam VI, and Chintz. If you think MAC is too pricey, don't sleep on Avon. They have hip color choices and they are not too expensive.
2. Real Simple, InStyle, and Essence are my favorite magazines. You can't beat RS's info for cooking and organizing, Essence addresses issues that are important for African American women, and InStyle for fashion in all price ranges.
3. Scrabble is my favorite board game and I have it on my computer too. I love my Wii, Mario Kart and Wii Resort are two of my favorite games.
4. Bookstores are my favorite place to browse. I prefer Barnes and Noble over Borders. Books-A-Million is great too.
5. If you need a good author, check out John Sandford, J. California Cooper, Francine Rivers, or Jodi Picoult. Each of them is good in a different way. JCC captures the essence of human nature in all of her characters. JS writes and excellent suspense novel. JP deals with difficult issues and choices no one ever hopes to be faced with. FR handles Christian fiction in a real, uncondemning way.
6. If I am not in a bookstore, chances are you will find me in Home Goods, TJMaxx, Marshalls, or Ross. I don't believe in paying full price for hardly anything. Despite my passion for inexpensive, I know my clothes never look cheap.
7. While I know there are cheap candles to be found, I still love Yankee Candle Store. My favs are Harvest, Island Mango, Mango Peach Salsa, and Holiday Home Sweet Home.
8. A well dressed man. Whoo Hoo! Ain't nothing sexier. If he smells good, that's even better.
9. I love sweet tea, think GA sweet. I like Moscato, a sweet white wine. I make a mean sangria and an awesome Strawberry Daquiri, I'd drink them anytime and so would my family and friends. Pepsi is my cola of choice. I love Simply Lemonade's Raspberry Lemonade too. Finally, if you haven't tried Cranberry Splash Sierra Mist, you are missing a treat.
10. Shot glasses! I love them, I collect them, I have them sent to me by my friends from locations that I have not visited. The more unique the better.
I could go on and on but I can save it for another time and another post. One day I will put together a collection of my favorite things to give to a dedicated reader, so keep checking me out because you never know what surprises I might have in store for you! Til next time...Peace and blessings!
Copyright October 8, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Can't a Sista Get A Break?
We all know that there is an age old controversy between Stay At Home Moms(SAHMs) and working moms. I have been on both sides of the coin and let's suffice it to say that both love their children and want them to be successful. Women are always going to do what they have to do. We are like that. So what is this post about? Well, I am annoyed that folks think that SAHMs should not utilize services that make their lives simpler.
I recently began on-line grocery shopping. It is an awesome service, especially if, like me, you get caught up in the deals the store is offering despite the fact that the items are not on your original list. It is also good for women whose children lose their minds(fight, beg, and whine) while shopping with mom. For me, it saves money and time. You submit your list, they shop, and bring it to your car ar a specified time for little or no cost. They will make substitutions if they are out of your requested brand. Substitutions are usually bigger or better than your request. Don't get me wrong, I still enter a grocery store(or Target/Wal-Mart) for some items, but for the bulk of my groceries, I leave it to the store shopper.
I was talking to my brother when I went to pick up my groceries. He was tripping and in a state of disbelief, that I, a woman who doesn't work, would take advantage of such a convenience. In fact, he said that was going to make him post a blog. I laughed as he made fun of me but it got me to thinking about how often that train of thought rears its ugly head. Why should I feel guilty for wanting my life to be unemcumbered because I don't work? I still take care of home, volunteer at the children's school, have a side hustle, and participate in weekly activities. Sometimes, I believe I am busier now than I was when I was employed. Shoot I know I am. I enjoy it and I take it all in stride. Last week, one of my friends said, "every woman needs a wife." A collective nod from all the women was immediate. She was not speaking in sexual terms for you crazies out there. LOL!
So what do you think? Do you believe that just because a woman is a SAHM that she should do her own grocery shopping? What about SAHMs who have maid service? Are we deserving of these things? Is there a perception that we have so much time on our hands that we still need to be superwomen? I know my brother is not the only one with this thought pattern. My husband has on occasion said to me, "You don't work, that's why you can do it!" or he will respond to a request that he's not doing it "because I work and you don't" even when he clearly as time on his hands to help a sista out. I so want to drop kick him for his insensitivity but I know my worth. I know that without me, working or being at home, things would fall apart and folks would not get where they are supposed to be, nor would our house/clothes be clean, or anything else get done for that matter.
I am not ashamed to admit that I like making my life less complicated, despite being at home. We all deserve some perks whether we work or not. Me doing my own grocery shopping doesn't validate me or my experience as a SAHM. Time is valuable no matter who you are and it should be spent wisely. Am I wrong for that? Share your opinions because I really am curious. Till next time, Ciao!
Copyright on October 1, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
I recently began on-line grocery shopping. It is an awesome service, especially if, like me, you get caught up in the deals the store is offering despite the fact that the items are not on your original list. It is also good for women whose children lose their minds(fight, beg, and whine) while shopping with mom. For me, it saves money and time. You submit your list, they shop, and bring it to your car ar a specified time for little or no cost. They will make substitutions if they are out of your requested brand. Substitutions are usually bigger or better than your request. Don't get me wrong, I still enter a grocery store(or Target/Wal-Mart) for some items, but for the bulk of my groceries, I leave it to the store shopper.
I was talking to my brother when I went to pick up my groceries. He was tripping and in a state of disbelief, that I, a woman who doesn't work, would take advantage of such a convenience. In fact, he said that was going to make him post a blog. I laughed as he made fun of me but it got me to thinking about how often that train of thought rears its ugly head. Why should I feel guilty for wanting my life to be unemcumbered because I don't work? I still take care of home, volunteer at the children's school, have a side hustle, and participate in weekly activities. Sometimes, I believe I am busier now than I was when I was employed. Shoot I know I am. I enjoy it and I take it all in stride. Last week, one of my friends said, "every woman needs a wife." A collective nod from all the women was immediate. She was not speaking in sexual terms for you crazies out there. LOL!
So what do you think? Do you believe that just because a woman is a SAHM that she should do her own grocery shopping? What about SAHMs who have maid service? Are we deserving of these things? Is there a perception that we have so much time on our hands that we still need to be superwomen? I know my brother is not the only one with this thought pattern. My husband has on occasion said to me, "You don't work, that's why you can do it!" or he will respond to a request that he's not doing it "because I work and you don't" even when he clearly as time on his hands to help a sista out. I so want to drop kick him for his insensitivity but I know my worth. I know that without me, working or being at home, things would fall apart and folks would not get where they are supposed to be, nor would our house/clothes be clean, or anything else get done for that matter.
I am not ashamed to admit that I like making my life less complicated, despite being at home. We all deserve some perks whether we work or not. Me doing my own grocery shopping doesn't validate me or my experience as a SAHM. Time is valuable no matter who you are and it should be spent wisely. Am I wrong for that? Share your opinions because I really am curious. Till next time, Ciao!
Copyright on October 1, 2009 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
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