My Roles, Defined

Hey Y'all...My last post was about who I am as a person. I left some stuff out but if you follow me, you probably have a fairly decent grasp of some things that I failed to mention. I mentioned that we aren't defined by what we do. We all have roles, and today, I thought I'd share some of those with you. So not only will you know who I am as a person but also what roles I play in my life.


I am a Child of God. As such, it is my responsibility to live a life pleasing to Him. If I can achieve that daily, everything else should fall in to place. I also have a duty to share the love of Christ with others and the fact that he died on the cross to save sinners and we are all sinners in need of a Saviour. I am working on the sharing part.


I am a wife. I married one of my best friends almost 15 years ago. I wrote a post on Dmitri in May. I love that man and I expect to grow old with him. Our marriage has had its share of ups and downs. I am no quitter and we fight daily to maintain the love we have for each other. Satan would like nothing better than to destroy the one relationship that Christ chose to reflect His with the church.


I am a mother, a Stay at Home one at that. Lawd, Lawd, Lawd! That has to be one of the most stressful roles entrusted to me. Chante and Dmitri II are two of the greatest gifts that God blessed me with. They drive me nuts. They make me laugh and cry and scream. At the end of the day, I simply want to raise God-fearing, healthy children who can function well in life. I want them to make good decisions and respect others and I want them to impact their community for the better. Encompassed in this role are several others: motivational speaker, chauffeur, psychologist, maid, chef, event planner, doctor, lawyer, and keeper of things. I'm sure I left some role out but you get the idea. I can't believe that I used to work full time and still do all these things. Ahh but I am a woman, an African-American woman, and we have done this since the beginning of time. The trick is to learn to not forget me in the midst of all the other roles.


I am a daughter(and a grand-daughter). My mom and my 96 year old grandma are the greatest influences in my life. I feel both of them have impacted my life for the best. They have equipped me to be a survivor no despite the circumstances that come my way. My mom raised my brother, Gerald and I, with little money and a whole lot of family support. She instilled great values and pride in both of us. She raised us to be independent and resilient. She encouraged us to embrace our family, speak up, and remain true to our beliefs. My grandmother is quiet but very wise. She made things happen without being overbearing and she always reminded me to trust God and pray. She taught me that we can have peace even when things aren't going well.


I am a sister. I love my siblings. I wished I lived closer to my crazy brother. His life is undergoing a serious change and I am very happy to see that happen. I just wish I could witness it up close and personally. I live close to my half sister. There is a 12 year difference in our ages and we did not grow up in the same house(or state for that matter). We are not as close as I would like us to be. Perhaps with time all things will change...I might eventually live closer to Gerald and I might eventually be closer to Stephanie. My father's wish was that we would be close and remain that way.


I am a friend. I love my friends. I have been blessed with a diverse, unique, and dynamic group of women who pray for me, encourage me, and love me for who I am. Every friendship has its own flavor but I wouldn't trade any of the women in my life. They each influence me to do better and be better. I can laugh, cry, eat, and drop my basket with almost everyone of them. I trust them and I value their opinions. Some of them are the sister I didn't have growing up. Shout outs to Sonja, Rose, Dana, Nikki, Jai, Tracie, Dorna, Monica C, Carlene, Monique, Mina, and Jeanine. Each of you hold a very special place in my heart. This list is by no means representative of all the friendships that I maintain.  I don't wish to offend anyone who is my friend and does not appear on this list, but with the exception of four of these names, every one of the women has been in my life for over 20 years. The other four women have come into my life in the past 5 years and have greatly impacted me for the better. I am most transparent with these women and yes, they do convict and challenge me when I am in a fit of craziness. :) I thank God for them daily because they have stood with me through the good, the bad, and especially the ugly. Some folks don't have one good friend so I know that it is a blessing to have several.


I am a niece, a cousin, an aunt, and a sister in law. I have a lot of family. I don't live near most of them and I hate that I am missing out on seeing some of them grow or experiencing a true relationship not hindered by e-mail, Facebook, or even text messages. My kids will probably not have close relationships with a lot of their family because they are scattered all over the United States. We need family reunions all around. My family is very supportive of me and my children despite our distance.


I am a blogger. If you are reading this, you know I have a purpose for developing and writing this blog. SN: this role could encompass the fact that I am a repressed English teacher and a future author. Blogging has been a good outlet for me.


I am a foodie. I love good food! It is one of the things my hubby and I have in common. My favorite foods are crab cakes, macaroni and cheese, peach cobbler, and ice cream. I like good chocolate and I love tea. I don't do much coffee. I like to cook and bake. I am a Pepsi lover and I like vodka or rum if alcohol is involved. By the way, I make an excellent daiquiri(sangria too).


I am a bibliophile. I love, love, love to read. Yep, I said it before and I will continue to say it again and again...Reading is fundamental. Books are easy to find and you can borrow them from the library. Translation, it is a free habit(cheap, cheap, cheap). You need a recommendation, I have posted a couple of book lists and I have mentioned several of my absolute favs in previous blogs.

Well that covers the basics. I could go on and on. Like most of you, I wear several hats every day. I try to do every one of them to the best of my God given ability. Embrace the life you live.  Roles are just that, a part you play in the journey of life. They change daily, some are permanent and some are temporary. God doesn't give us more than we can bear so wherever you are and whatever station, that you are in, stay the course. Your role does not define the essence of who you are. Till next time, think about who you are as well as the roles that you play. There is a difference, you know. Have a lovely weekend!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on October 28, 2010