Same but Different

Here's another blog written by my friend, Dorna. She has taken the liberty to sum up our friendship and she did it so well. I love her like a sister and I can neither add nor subtract from what she has written. I hope each and everyone of you has at least one friend like Dorna in your corner. We've laughed together, cried together, and just simply had fun together. No pretense and very little drama along the way. Oh and because of her, I gave guacamole another chance and will eat it in small quantities. So here is my girl, Dorna, in her own words.........

Same Kind of Different As Me
Last year this time I was walking through Barnes and Noble (one of my absolute favorite places) and saw the book, Same Kind of Different As Me, in the bargain section. I knew nothing about it being a book club selection of many or that it had been a best seller. I was totally captivated by the title because it immediately made think of My Favorite, Pam Thorpe! Pam and I share a really special deep friendship that has developed in a fairly short time. One day during a visit, I had an epiphany and I said “Pam, we’re the same, but different!” Which of course made us bust out laughing because it just sounded so silly! It is, in fact, the truest statements I’ve ever made and we find ourselves still saying it and understanding the comfort in the knowledge.

I met Pam in November of 2005 while we were both in the Godforsaken place of Albany, GA!! Both of us had relocated from relative normalcy and displaced to The Place Time Left Behind; connecting via her husband with whom I worked. We came together passively and more out of a sense of need for connection but we grew over the next 6 months to actively seeking each other out. The summer of 2006 we began to spend a lot of time together as her husband was out of the country. We both had children (my daughter then 12, her daughter 8 & son 4), loved to talk, cook, read and most of all laugh!! We shared some of our best meals with our combined cooking and meager money. The more time we shared together, it became evident we really liked each other and had kindred spirits!! I had a new REAL friend and FAVORITE!!

The sameness of Pam and me has helped me at times to know that I’m not such a misfit. We both are strong, intelligent, confident African-American women. We both went to private and public schools with diverse populations; sometimes predominately white. We both have the same top pet peeves: rudeness, selfishness and mean people!! We are both outgoing, easily making friends; having strong passions and values. We love mixing it up with diverse folks and being in the thick of things. Family is extremely important to us and we believe in the village concept of child rearing, much to our children’s chagrin. We are both problem solvers but we are both capable of raising hell if the issue warrants it!!

Where Pam and I are different makes for the wonderfulness of our friendship!! Pam doesn’t like guacamole…that’s just un-American!! :) Pam has the best gift of discernment and analysis. Although I’m analytical, I’m sometimes too tunneled (or oblivious) to discern the truth about things or people. Because of Pam though, I am becoming more trusting of my own instincts. Pam’s faith is really strong, whereas I’m not as far in my walk, she continues to encourage me with her shining example (..this little light of mine…!).

Pam and I now live 700 miles apart and I miss the ability to see her face to face, though we talk regularly. Truthfully, there are days that I feel like Pam gets the short end our friendship because she is a wonderful person with a generous, giving heart and spirit. She never fails to brighten my day and lifts my spirits when we chat. I can call and ask her the craziest question or have a really deep conversation. I would fight for her and would want her, along with my sister Robin, at my side in a fight. If I had to pay her for all of the psychotherapy /advice she has given, she would be RICH! Instead, my life is richer because of her friendship!! Everyone should be so lucky to have a friend like her!! Pam is the 2nd sister I wish my mother had given me, but God was kind enough to bring her to me. The best part of our differences is that we can RESPECT each other regardless and LOVE each other unconditionally!! Unfortunately, not many friendships/relationships have this attribute. Our friendship celebrates the fact that we are same, but different!

Copyright February 18, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe