A Bundle of Joy

Just wanted to share that yesterday I became an aunt, again! My sister gave birth to my newest niece, Jayla Taliyah, was born at 8:52 P.M. She weighs 5 pounds and 2 ounces. I haven't met her yet but I sure am excited. My sister has two boys who should make great big brothers. Every addition to the family is exciting but my joy for this baby comes because she will live close enough for me to spoil and see on a regular basis. My other niece, Bianca, is in Texas embarking on her graduate studies, her brother, Tre, is pursuing his Sophomore year, their baby sister, Zaria, is currently here visiting with me and my family. I rarely see them because of the distance. Zaria is 8 and I hadn't seen her in person since she was 18 months old. What a joy last night to hear her along with my sister's sons, Jeffrey and Jahlil hanging out in my basement playing video games, teasing each other, and wreaking havoc on the general cleanliness of my house. They had never met previously.

I grew up with all my immediate family living really close by. It never occurred to me that my family would be spread out all over the United States and that I wouldn't see them on a regular basis. That is my current reality and on many days, it really sucks. God has a way of bringing things full circle. The cousins are enjoying each other like they have played together all their lives and all is right in the world. I am thankful that God has blessed us with a healthy new addition to our family. I am sure Jayla will bring her own unique spark to our very colorful family. 

In Diva Love,

PAM

Post-Surgery Thoughts

It is the last morning of a beautiful week in Virgina Beach. It was a most relaxing vacation. More like a simple prelude to the real vacation which is less than two weeks away. We will then be off to the Dominican Republic. BTW-if any of you out there have some recommendations of places to go or things to do or food to eat, please feel free to advise me. Today is supposed to be a hot 99 degrees but feel like 110 with the humidity. Can I just say that I don't know how anyone would want to spend any time in Hell.

Well it has been eleven days since I had surgery. I think I have a pretty good tolerance for pain and I also think I am a good patient. As of today, I am not pain free but I am not taking pain killers. The first five days of my recovery, I spent sleeping and simply trying not to get dehydrated. Kinda hard when you don't want to swallow even the spit in your mouth. Honestly, sleeping was the best thing for me. On Friday, I forced myself outta bed to prepare for this week away. Given the limited amount of calories and nutrition I took in, packing wore me out but it got done.

We arrived in Va. Beach to a beautiful sunny day and a city brimming with activity. Our condo was simply fabulous and all we have to to do is cross the street and bam, the beach. The week here has been low key, which I needed. My liquid and soft diet has improved. It is a terrible thing when soup hurts to go down. While ice cream and Popsicles sound like a great diet, I am no longer ten and hey, I am not a small woman. I also love food, especially good food. Lawd, am I missing potato chips.  Anyhoo, I say this to say that by the time we get on that plane to the DR, I should be completely healed and ready to try the delicacies of the region.

Here is what I have learned in the past few days. When the doctor says, "you will need ten days to recover after this surgery," please believe him. They get paid the big buck for a reason.  I really didn't consider the seriousness of my so called minor surgery. My family was fine, I simply was in denial. I am more of a control freak than I think. Percocet makes me feel really loopy so I probably didn't medicate as well as I could have. Admit where you are are. Don't pretend to be fine. I did because I didn't want to make my impromptu family trip turn into being about me and my pain. I faked it as much as I could and then I often curled up on a couch, in the bed or sat on the balcony to get a way from everything. I skipped some activities and believe it or not, my family could handle my absence. I will give a shout out to my husband, he took pretty good care of me and he was a trooper. especially the first few day when all I could do was sleep. I love him to death! The plus of being here is that there is a Rita's Italian Ice place not too far from the condo, it has been my friend. I hate not having one near my house. Their ices are the best. That is one thing that doesn't hurt going down. Well, I am going to end here. Gotta enjoy this last hot as Hades day here on the ocean. Have a fantabulous weekend and be safe! 

In Diva wisdom, 

Pam

Diva Dialogue-June, 2012

Well, I felt like it had been a while since I posted. I actually forgot that I posted on my birthday. June has been a busy month. I am so thankful to report that my lovely wise grandmother celebrated her 98th birthday. We have good genes and yes most of my family could be poster children for a "Black don't crack" ad. I feel incredibly blessed.

Yesterday we celebrated the men who responsibly care for and nurture their children. Hope that each of you had a Happy Father's Day. If you have a child and you aren't investing for whatever reason, today is a day you can make a decision to change that. Your child needs you. Trust me, you don't want them to seek acceptance, approval, or affirmation from outside influences. Love doesn't have to be predicated on money. Your time and investment are what is important.

It is now official. I no longer have any children in elementary school. Yippee! I am kind of bittersweet but it is great to be moving on. My son is beyond ready. He has been well prepared. I have seen him grow and mature in many ways. It is weird to watch him grow up. He's opinionated, and very matter of fact. it is his developing sense of humor that trips me out the most. He is going to drive some poor woman crazy one day. LOL!

My summer is pretty much planned out. I am not used to that but hey, it is what it is. There are good things happening. My sister is going to have a baby girl! I love shopping for girls so much better than boys. I am apparently going to miss all the baby showers. My cousin, @AKAKristin, is turning 30. I am going to miss her fabulous flirty 30 celebration too. She has planned out a weekend of fun. I am happy for her. I am having a minor surgery today. Initially, that wasn't in my plans but I guess God needed to build in some rest for this sista. Say a prayer for me. I supposedly need ten days to recover. We are going to Virgina Beach and the Dominican Republic this year. I also plan to go to the place that built me for about ten days. Haven't been home since May of last year. That sucks, right? It does! I need some mommy love! I also need to lay eyes on my grandma. I know that at 98, it is a blessing to have her. If you have read my posts for a whole, you already know how important she is to me. Gotta soak up that love and wisdom too. Oh and did I mention, that several ladies along with myself are going to do a summer study on Malachi. That should be interesting. Who studies Malachi? I know, hardly anyone. I am sure God will speak and unite our hearts more toward Him as we seek to learn and grow through the study. I will let you know how it goes.

In addition to all of of this, I was asked to teach a group of Spanish exchange students for a month. I am a little nervous but anticipating having fun with the teens from another culture. I know little to no Spanish but the purpose is for them to have the skills to hold conversations with their host families and interact in public during their stay here in the USA. My lesson plans are complete and I hope they will find the content both rewarding and entertaining.

Today is the first real day of summer vacation. I cherish this time with my children. Parenting is not easy and as I continue living in a home with a 14 year old girl, I am constantly reminded to pray. I am also reminded to ask other people to pray. Her godmother told me that the part of the brain that makes rational decision isn't fully developed till 25. Well dammit, why are we entrusting these babies to choose colleges, Presidents, to vote and to drink or to decide to fight for their countries? They really aren't ready for this type of responsible decision-making, are they? Sorry, I digressed. If you have the time and ability to be home with your children during the summer, make the most of it and have fun. Have hard conversations. Challenge them to read  and write and express themselves. Encourage them to serve someone other than themselves. One of the most rewarding things we've done this year is work at a local Food Pantry. We plan to continue to help out there during the summer. Teach them more about God and living a life that is pleasing to Him. Most of all, value the time even if the children are reluctant or attitudinal(or hormonal). This too shall pass. 

I am gonna end here. I am going to really attempt to post more regularly during the summer. As usual, I have a lot on my mind. I am already sick of the election BS. That being said....Be safe! Be a blessing to someone else. Take a moment for yourself each day. Pray for yourself and others. Till next time, Ciao!

In Diva love,

PAM

It's My Birthday!!!!

Happy Happy Born Day to me! I am always happy in June. It is the best month of the year. There are some fabulous people with whom I share this birth month. Geminis are always interesting, unique people. Children graduate, Summer vacation begins, and people just seem excited about life. I always think I deserve a month long tribute, funny though, I am uncomfortable being the center of attention. 

God has been good to me and I can't help but to reflect upon it as I enter a new year of life. My journey is not always simple or easy but I know that I am extremely blessed. I have a great family and very awesome friends. I  know that faith is essential to me remaining sane on this life journey. I have experienced losses that hurt me deep to the core. I have family relationships that need repair. I continually remind myself that I choose my friends but my family is a whole other story. I know you all can relate. Sometimes you begin to think it ain't even worth the effort. 

I love the summer! My summer is already filling up and my idea of relaxation is quickly fleeting. Ahh, but I will be cherishing the memories that I create with my children and husband. Unfortunately my summer is going to begin with me having my tonsils taken out and a tube put in my ear. I thought I was going deaf. NOT! I am not looking forward to that but it is a necessary evil that I gotta deal with so all can be right in my part of the world.  Pray for me! I hate taking drugs, I have a high tolerance for pain. 

I am thankful for the things that I have learned along the way. I anticipate joy and pain in the year to come. There will be doors that open and others that will close.  Some friendships will blossom and others will fade. Through it all, I know God has already ordained this plan. I am hoping He will allow me to birth a dream that I have. I am also hoping He will bless me with a set of wheels. This sista might not be lucky  blessed enough not to really have to use it next winter. I have huge dreams for my children and I pray for their future spouses. I hope that my actions, words, and deeds are pleasing to Him. I am blessed and so are you. 

Not only do I celebrate my life and all its divaliciousness but I celebrate all my fabulous June babies! This month is yours. Attack it with fierce determination and a renewed spirit. Happy Birthday to each of you! A special shout out goes to Nanno, my grandmother who will celebrate 98 years on this earth on the 7th. God is good! She is one of two women that I wanna be like when I grow up(My mom is the other one). I love her to death and her impact on my life is indescribable. To my fellow Geminis and you Cancers who were fortunate enough to be born in June, Have a fantastic, fabulous Birthday celebration!!!

Enjoying Another of Life,

Pam

On Motherhood

As I am celebrated and celebrate the one day that is set aside for what I feel tends to be a thankless but rewarding job, I can't help but smile. Motherhood evokes so many raw emotions, everyday, all day. I have a great mom and I love her to death. She raised my brother and I alone. Fortunately, she had a lot of support from her parents and other immediate family members. We had good times and bad as I grew up. Thankfully today, I consider my mom a true friend. She loves me unconditionally. She encourages me. She respects me. We really enjoy each others company. All of those things go both ways. I am very blessed that I have a grandmother who is living. She will be 98 years old in a couple of weeks. Words can't even express the love I have in my heart for her. She has taught all of us so much and she still imparts her wisdom with a quiet dignity and strength that we don't see very often these days.

I have two awesome children. They have grown and stretched me in ways I never thought possible. I love them with all of my heart. I have dreamed a million dreams for them. Yet, I know the best any mom can do is equip her child with all the proper tools to get through this journey called life. Hopefully through the things I teach them and the experiences that I provide, they will turn out to be conscientious individuals who positively impact the society they live in. I hope and pray they will choose their spouses wisely and that they will raise other little people who will carry on a family legacy of love, respect, and all those other positive things that make a difference in life. Only God knows the future, our role is to pray that our will can line up with His. Whatever you think you know just might change once you have children. My favorite time of day is dinner. It is when my children talk the most. I have found that no matter how much I teach them what I want them to know, they are still individuals with their own ideas and opinions. They make me laugh and yes they also make me wanna holler. I am thankful for them. God has a sense of humor and that is why He gave us children. 

There are many women in my life who have not given birth but they nurture and care for children as aunts, grandmothers, and godparents. Some are teachers and others are just caregivers by nature. As a mom, I'm very thankful for them too. Sometimes your children need those people when they can't get through to you. Every child needs an advocate and confidante. Sometimes I need them for a reality check or a very different but thoughtful opinion. So whether you have children or not, if you are a woman and impact any child, Happy Mother's Day to you! You are fabulous! You are blessed!

I would be remiss if I didn't point out that on this very special Mother's Day, I am celebrating in a very bittersweet way. Seven years ago, my dad was called to his heavenly home after a short bout with prostate cancer. Time goes quickly but there is a void in my heart and in our family. I suspect that my sister's baby who is due in August is going to remind us most of him. I know he would be proud of all of us and he would champion each of us in our endeavors. So...R.I.P. Gerald William Cole, Sr. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you and don't wish you were a part of whatever is going on in our lives. I know you are in Heaven and I know you are smiling down on each of your children. So in your words, "Life to the fullest, no regrets!"

In Divalicious celebration,

Pam

Wisdom, Dispensed

I came across this and thought it was worth me printing here. We can all use the wisdom of the elderly. Life is short and often times the journey is not without its bumps and bruises. I am not really suffering from writer's block, just been dealing with a lot of emotional stuff and can't articulate it through this venue right now. I will return to normal soon. I am trusting God that this season will pass and it will pass swiftly with me learning whatever He is trying to teach me. Enjoy and remember to bless someone today!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of
the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio.

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote
the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most
requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so
here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are
sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Don't buy stuff you don't need.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9.  Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no
idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't
be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye
But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful.  Clutter
weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to
you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life,
don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the
fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion.
Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words
'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget. 

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because
of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw
everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already
have not what you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Mega-Million Mayhem

Last week, millions of folks were fantasizing about how they would spend the 540 million dollars if they were fortunate enough to have the winning six digits. I am not a lottery player by any stretch of the imagination but like most Americans, I got caught up in the hype and bought a few tickets. Yeah, I have dreams of the foundations I'd start and the great things I'd do with the cash after I take care of my loved ones. Well, here I sit blogging so you know I did NOT win a penny. No surprise there since my chances of winning were about as great as Satan getting back into heaven.

A week later and one of three winners has come forward. So why the post? There is a woman in Maryland who claims to have a winning ticket. She has her co-workers in an uproar because they think she cheated them out of their winnings, she claims to have bought her own tickets that had nothing to do with the pool. Let me just state that I think there have to be some ground rules to an office pool. First, I believe at least two people should go purchase the tickets. Copies need to made and distributed to everyone who participates. You have the right to buy your own tickets but to insure no impropriety, they need to be purchased separately. As of this moment, the woman is claiming not to be able to locate the winning ticket.  Really she lost the winning ticket. Come on! Some would call this karma. 

My first problem with her is that she went to the NY Post before she went to the Baltimore Sun (her local newspaper). Why go anywhere till you have all your ducks in a row? For me, that translates to an attorney and a financial planner. The media has fueled the fire by allowing her to continue to hog attention. In my opinion, she would be one of those winners who will eventually be broke. She has seven children. If she has the ticket, I doubt it is lost. Her behind is probably getting her children out of town and setting things up so she claim her millions and get on a plane and disappear. At the rate she's going, she ought to disappear. People do crazy things for money, Disgruntled McDonald's employees would fit that bill. If said ticket exists, it needs to be presented to the MD State Lottery Commissioner by September 28th. We will continue to watch the drama unfold because I can assure you, there will be additional drama. Be careful with those office pools. Money brings out the best and worst in people. Ciao!

Divaliciously Blessed by Jehovah-Jireh,

Pam