Dorna is a little older than me and what she knows for sure is of course different from what I know for sure. Of course, your comments and opinions are always welcome. Here is her version(in her own words, of course)......
I am a whopping 48 years, 6 months, 17 days old!! A lot of this time I kind of just went through life oblivious of what was occurring, but in the last decade, I started paying attention. Since then, here's what I realized I know to be true!!
There is no Parental Handbook!! If there was, life for parents of teenagers would be sooooo much easier!! I remember when I had my daughter 16 years ago; my mother came to stay with me for 2 weeks. She took care of the baby and me; hopefully to help me transition to motherhood. She left with my husband driving her back early in the morning leaving me and the baby behind. After approximately 8 hours of me being solo with my new bundle of joy, I sat down to rest while my daughter napped. I remember that moment like it was yesterday because this thought came to me..."I'm so tired, I can't wait for my life to get back to normal!" Then it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks...this was my life!!! I promptly burst into tears!! How could my mother have left me with this beautiful little girl, BY MYSELF with no manual or directions?? Whatever was I going to do? I'm still asking that question and my beautiful Little Brown Girl is 16; I'm flying without a net folks!!
Not everyone knows how to be a friend, especially a good one. Friendship, like marriage, is hard work!! The depth, season, and quality changes, but work to maintain friendships/relationships is required. I think because we start forming friendships at the very beginning of life, many take friendships for granted for the most part. For many, your first friend is a sibling or cousin. No effort on either parties part, just a lot of time in each other's company allowing you to learn likes/dislikes, giving love reciprocally and garnering respect. This becomes the basis of how we develop outside friendships and relationships; good or bad. Being a good friend requires extra effort and the reward is amazing when realized. But sometimes you find yourself in friendships that are not healthy no matter how much you give. That is because the other party doesn't know how to really be a friend because they're emotionally stunted or selfish or manipulative or have never been in a good friendship!! I did finally figure out that friendships are like marriage or relationships, sometimes you just picked the wrong person and you have to just let it go. It will hurt but hopefully God will send you a real friend very soon. For me, friendship is summed up by the motto of Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, "Friendship is essential to the soul!"
The Woman's Movement hasn't helped as much as we think!! I'm sure there are some feminist who've read that and want to slap my face! You're entitled to that thought, but stay with me for a minute and consider this...besides the ability to work like a dog as men, what has really changed? Women are still not paid as well as men regardless of education or experience. Yeah we now have more female execs and athletes, but look at the numbers and they don't equally add up! Stay at home moms are still not fully respected as much as the working mother. I don't care what feminist rhetoric is in vogue at the moment, but I know way more working moms would trade places with a stay at home mother in a freakin' heartbeat! This is the one that works me the most, women don't need a man to be complete or take care of them!! Whatever!!! The Bible tells us, God made woman for man because "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." (Genesis 1:18)! If we weren't made to complete each other we wouldn't have different parts!! I'm sure I've now offended the homosexual community with that statement, but it's what I believe!! So, thanks to the Woman's Movement giving us freedoms, but women have paid a high price for it!
Political Correctness is BS!! The term Political Correctness is an oxymoron and absurd!! This term came on the scene right about the time Diversity Awareness came along. Both of these things were supposed to make everyone more sensitive, tolerant of differences and commonalities. Instead, we now have warm and fuzzy phrases being spewed to mask our inner thinking. I mean if you are calling me an African-American to my face but still thinking "Nigga" and treating me like one, call a spade a spade out loud!!! At least I know where you stand and have no delusions. Yes, we should all be bias free, but change has to be as much inward as outward. Otherwise, you do a disservice to yourself and others. By the way, I really hate when people say "the N word".
God is real! I have not always been a spiritual being. Growing up we went to church on holidays with my relatives until I was about 11 when my mother bought a car. It was then I discovered I was actually Catholic!! I took my first communion at 12 and confirmation at 14, after years of passive spirituality. Even meeting the requirements of these milestones, I didn't really think about or experience God. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it was because of Catholicism, just that there was no at home reinforcement. I began to consider God more as I took religion classes in Catholic school, but He was still more of a fuzzy concept and extremely confusing Trinity (still not quite sure I've got that straight). I went to college to a religious based school (Christian Methodist Episcopal) where I began to think more about God, but it was more in the context of rule breaking. I didn't want to go to hell, so I was more conscious about my actions and lack of prayer. Then I had my daughter which changed a lot of my "me" focus thinking and more about her future and my role. What did I stand for? I started reading my bible more and understanding the need for real prayer and God became REAL!! As Oprah would say, I had an Ah Ha moment!! If God is not a part of your thinking or life, I urge you to seek Him!! He is EVERYTHING you need and the true source of LOVE!!
So folks, what do you know for sure. These are Dorna's words, not mine. I gave my opinion on March 5th. I hope you read it. Up next is what my lovely mother knows for sure. In the meantime, have a wonderful wet weekend! Ciao!
Copyright March 13, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
I am a whopping 48 years, 6 months, 17 days old!! A lot of this time I kind of just went through life oblivious of what was occurring, but in the last decade, I started paying attention. Since then, here's what I realized I know to be true!!
There is no Parental Handbook!! If there was, life for parents of teenagers would be sooooo much easier!! I remember when I had my daughter 16 years ago; my mother came to stay with me for 2 weeks. She took care of the baby and me; hopefully to help me transition to motherhood. She left with my husband driving her back early in the morning leaving me and the baby behind. After approximately 8 hours of me being solo with my new bundle of joy, I sat down to rest while my daughter napped. I remember that moment like it was yesterday because this thought came to me..."I'm so tired, I can't wait for my life to get back to normal!" Then it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks...this was my life!!! I promptly burst into tears!! How could my mother have left me with this beautiful little girl, BY MYSELF with no manual or directions?? Whatever was I going to do? I'm still asking that question and my beautiful Little Brown Girl is 16; I'm flying without a net folks!!
Not everyone knows how to be a friend, especially a good one. Friendship, like marriage, is hard work!! The depth, season, and quality changes, but work to maintain friendships/relationships is required. I think because we start forming friendships at the very beginning of life, many take friendships for granted for the most part. For many, your first friend is a sibling or cousin. No effort on either parties part, just a lot of time in each other's company allowing you to learn likes/dislikes, giving love reciprocally and garnering respect. This becomes the basis of how we develop outside friendships and relationships; good or bad. Being a good friend requires extra effort and the reward is amazing when realized. But sometimes you find yourself in friendships that are not healthy no matter how much you give. That is because the other party doesn't know how to really be a friend because they're emotionally stunted or selfish or manipulative or have never been in a good friendship!! I did finally figure out that friendships are like marriage or relationships, sometimes you just picked the wrong person and you have to just let it go. It will hurt but hopefully God will send you a real friend very soon. For me, friendship is summed up by the motto of Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, "Friendship is essential to the soul!"
The Woman's Movement hasn't helped as much as we think!! I'm sure there are some feminist who've read that and want to slap my face! You're entitled to that thought, but stay with me for a minute and consider this...besides the ability to work like a dog as men, what has really changed? Women are still not paid as well as men regardless of education or experience. Yeah we now have more female execs and athletes, but look at the numbers and they don't equally add up! Stay at home moms are still not fully respected as much as the working mother. I don't care what feminist rhetoric is in vogue at the moment, but I know way more working moms would trade places with a stay at home mother in a freakin' heartbeat! This is the one that works me the most, women don't need a man to be complete or take care of them!! Whatever!!! The Bible tells us, God made woman for man because "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." (Genesis 1:18)! If we weren't made to complete each other we wouldn't have different parts!! I'm sure I've now offended the homosexual community with that statement, but it's what I believe!! So, thanks to the Woman's Movement giving us freedoms, but women have paid a high price for it!
Political Correctness is BS!! The term Political Correctness is an oxymoron and absurd!! This term came on the scene right about the time Diversity Awareness came along. Both of these things were supposed to make everyone more sensitive, tolerant of differences and commonalities. Instead, we now have warm and fuzzy phrases being spewed to mask our inner thinking. I mean if you are calling me an African-American to my face but still thinking "Nigga" and treating me like one, call a spade a spade out loud!!! At least I know where you stand and have no delusions. Yes, we should all be bias free, but change has to be as much inward as outward. Otherwise, you do a disservice to yourself and others. By the way, I really hate when people say "the N word".
God is real! I have not always been a spiritual being. Growing up we went to church on holidays with my relatives until I was about 11 when my mother bought a car. It was then I discovered I was actually Catholic!! I took my first communion at 12 and confirmation at 14, after years of passive spirituality. Even meeting the requirements of these milestones, I didn't really think about or experience God. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it was because of Catholicism, just that there was no at home reinforcement. I began to consider God more as I took religion classes in Catholic school, but He was still more of a fuzzy concept and extremely confusing Trinity (still not quite sure I've got that straight). I went to college to a religious based school (Christian Methodist Episcopal) where I began to think more about God, but it was more in the context of rule breaking. I didn't want to go to hell, so I was more conscious about my actions and lack of prayer. Then I had my daughter which changed a lot of my "me" focus thinking and more about her future and my role. What did I stand for? I started reading my bible more and understanding the need for real prayer and God became REAL!! As Oprah would say, I had an Ah Ha moment!! If God is not a part of your thinking or life, I urge you to seek Him!! He is EVERYTHING you need and the true source of LOVE!!
So folks, what do you know for sure. These are Dorna's words, not mine. I gave my opinion on March 5th. I hope you read it. Up next is what my lovely mother knows for sure. In the meantime, have a wonderful wet weekend! Ciao!
Copyright March 13, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe
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