Diva Dialogue-March 2011

Miss Read has been busy of late. I say that because I am missing this outlet so much. I really do have a million thoughts floating around in my head that I need to be sharing with you. It is my cathartic moment. I told you all a long time ago that I work out my issues in this forum. I also vent and share. Well lately, my time has not been my own and I am having to come to terms with that. I am working part time, it is tax season, I do Bible Study and have a leadership role there, my kids have activities, my husband has needs and so the life responsibilities continue. I have friends, I need time to myself and goodness, there are so many books being neglected. LOL. Y'all know I love a good book. I have been neglecting my Face book account and Twitter too. You can follow me on there if you like(PrettyEyedPam). I would love to improve my readership in this forum too.

As I write this post, my heart goes out to Japan and its people. As we have learned from Haiti's disaster, rebuilding takes a really long time. Worse still, it is the lost lives that take weeks to be recovered, if they are even recovered. When I see things like this happen, I like many others am tempted to question God. I don't because I quickly remember God's intense response to Job. I wasn't there when He formed the earth and put stars in the sky or carved out light or any off the other miraculous things He did. I am studying Revelation in Bible study and it is no joke. If you take the time to really read it, there is going to be a level of destruction that we really can't begin to wrap our small minds around. There will be significant death and destruction and as much as it is painful to see the images of Japan (or Haiti), it is still all a part of God's plan. He was not surprised by the event because He orchestrated it before we were even conceived. So He remains in control and our duty is to trust in Him.

As of tomorrow, you should have $171 saved if you are participating in the Money Challenge. I don't know if any of you rose to the challenge but wouldn't be nice if you could save $1378 by the end of the challenge. If you started with me, you would have that amount saved as of November 7, 2010. Just in time to do your Christmas shopping and not have to resort to a blown budget or credit cards. If you have a Christmas plan, that is enough to book you a nice trip through www.dreamydestinations.net. LOL! If you didn't start with me, you can start any time and have a nice amount of change saved to perhaps open a CD or something.! Just trying to encourage you to set a financial goal and meet it.

I am so pressed for time, that I haven't been reading. I need some book recommendations! Any suggestions?

Apparently direct sale business seem to be on the rise. Have you heard of thirty-one products? Thirty-one products consist of purses, storage, stationary, and a host of products to help your organize your home or car, etc. They have vibrant designs and you can personalize your purchases. Then there is Scentsy. They have lovey ceramic designs, in various colors, where you place scented blocks of wax in them and the fragrance permeates your home. Let us not forget Pampered Chef, Tastefully Simple, Avon, Mary Kay, and Beach body. I am not a salesperson. However if you are looking for a representative for any of these products, I can refer you to one who'd be happy to meet your needs. If you need an income source, you might consider one of these home-based businesses that you can work around your schedule.    

Which leads me to my next thought....things that I am loving right now. I am loving Turkey Hill's Pomegranate Lemonade. I also like NBC's new show, Harry's Law. It is really good in a quirky kind of way. My other favorite show is The Good Wife. It is well written with a great plot and excellent ensemble cast. What I am not feeling right now is BET's revamped version of The Game. Hopefully the plots will improve as well as the writing. It has potential but right now it is missing the mark.  As for products, check out Lush's It's Raining Men body wash. Smells good and moisturizes! For my feet, I have been pampering them with Bath and Body's Super richfoot cream. Has a minty smell and moisturizes very well. It is part of the True Blue Spa line. If you know me, you know I like candles. I am feeling Yankee Candle 22 oz. Early Sunrise Jar Candle and Yankee Candle 22 oz. Pink Sands Jar Candle. I also like Bath and Body Works Slatkin & Co. 4 Oz. Filled Candle Caribbean Salsa, Bath and Body Works Slatkin & Co. 4 oz. Filled Candle Pink Sangria, and Bath and Body Works Slatkin & Co. 4 oz. Filled Candle Island Margarita. I like Zumba Fitness for Wii as well as the Michael Jackson The Experience and Just Dance 2/Just Dance. Greatways to work out and have fun too.

I know we are still in a recession, so I am not really encouraging you to go out and spend your money. Just sharing what I like right now. Jobs are still being lost. Homes are still being foreclosed upon. Government is still large but let's face it, the government employs a lot of folks. So cutting government will cut jobs. I am wondering what we are going to do to get ourselves out of this mess. Aren't you all sick of the politicians grandstanding? Don't you just want them to work for the interest of the working people? More and more, I really think that we need to limit the terms of both Senate members and congressmen. Oh I also think we need to limit Supreme Court justices terms as well. I know I have said it before and I will continue to say it because it really is in the best interest of the people.

Happy Birthday, Talithia and Ugochi! Hope you have a fantastic day. Happy belated birthday to Tracie and Annette! Hope your birthdays were great!

All right, enough of my random stuff. I have missed you! I am going to try to be better about posting. Know that I am not wasting the 24 hours that God has given me. I am trying hard to fulfill my purpose and do His will. I hope you are doing the same. Smile! Laugh! Forgive! Life is short! Be a blessing! Peace!

Copyright March 13, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Forgiveness is Not an Option!

Does it ever seem to you that certain issues or things are going to be a theme in your life for a period of time. Well, it happens to me all. the time. This year it seems that the themes that will keep coming up are forgiveness, finances, and trusting God at His Word. It is only March and things could change but so far these things keep being inserted in my spirit and popping up all around me.


I don't have a problem with forgiveness but I know people who do. It is sad to see the effect that harboring hurts and disappointments takes on these individuals. In turn it takes a toll on the people they love. It also takes a toll on the individual because it affects their health, relationships, and thought process. Unforgiveness easily leads to anger and bitterness.


Forgiveness is serious business. God has commanded us to forgive our brothers and sisters as He has forgiven us. Sounds so easy but we all know that we don't always keep that commandment.We hold on to hurt and pain like a it is an anchor. It is an anchor that can lead to complete and utter destruction. There is a reason we aren't supposed to go to bed angry. The devil loves unchecked anger or unforgiveness. It gives him just the opportunity he needs to poison your mind and have you thinking all crazy and not trusting people and all kinds of foolishness. The Bible tells us that in order for God to forgive us, we must first forgive others. That is rather powerful. We can't receive the free gift of God's forgiveness unless we give that same gift to whomever has wronged us. If you don't believe me, look up Matthew 6:15 and Luke 6:37.

Forgiveness is not for the other individual, it is for you. Often people don't even know that they have you bound up in anger. So tell the person they hurt you, forgive them and forget about it. Forgetting is difficult but dwelling on it doesn't help. God casts our sins in the sea of forgetfulness never to remember them again. Isn't that something? So liberate yourself! Yes, yourself, because you are in bondage. Let go of the hurt, anger, and whatever issue has you caught up. You aren't receiving the full measure of what God has for you if your aren't in His will. To be in His will, forgiveness, is NOT and option. It is a command. Till next time, be blessed and be a blessing!

Copyright March 13, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Diva Dialogue-February 2011

Hey Everybody! I was simply missing you all. I have a million and one things floating in my head and not enough time to get them on blog. Just wanted to give you all a shout out on this lovely President's Day weekend. I wish I was attending the NBA All-Star festivities. It just looks like fun. I love the three point shoot out and the Slam Dunk contest.

This week has been a busy one for me but I need to show my loyal readers some love. I hope that you had a great week and your Valentine was good to you. That said, wouldn't you all rather your Boo show that love 365 days a year instead of making some restaurant and Hallmark that much richer? As I get older, I realize that these BS holidays give folks an excuse to do what they should be doing all  along. Roland S. Martin had the best rules for V day if you follow him on FB or Twitter. The brother had me rolling. Even better than that were his Super Bowl rules. If you can find them, they will have you howling. Shout out to my favorite woman of all time...Mom, I hope you had a fantastic birthday!

Speaking of Super Bowl....those commercials had to be the worst ever. I am just saying! Unfortunately, my house rooted for the Pittsburgh Steelers and the were NOT victorious. My son is a huge fan as was my dad, may he RIP, so our home was all about the Black and Gold. Personally, I enjoyed the half-time show. The Black-Eyed Peas did the darn thing and showed why they are loved by audiences all over the world. I really wanna check out the Cowboy's stadium. It looks awesome! I am a Dallas Cowboy fan too.

Part of the reason I am MIA here in the blogosphere is that I have a part-time job. A sista is supposed to work 15 hours a week. This past week I worked 33 hours and that is in addition to all my other obligations. It has been 7 years since I worked a full time job. Funny, I found myself wondering how I did that for all those years. Call me spoiled but I am sure God had a reason for wanting women to stay home and take care of things while the husband provided. Not starting a feminist argument or anything but honestly girls, we screwed ourselves demanding all these so called rights.

I have been reading for enrichment and pleasure. One of the books has got me to thinking about race again. It is a subject that always comes up given my surroundings and upbringing. I am dialoguing with several women of all races and backgrounds on a book fraught with race issues and it is interesting to see the conversation play out. The dialogue is occurring on-line. My opinion is this, we are always going to be bound by race issues. America is not prepared to deal with the honest conversations that need to happen and some folks simply can't let go of their intense hatred for those who aren't like them. Having Barack Obama as President does not mean we are through dealing with race issues. In order for real progress to be made, we need real dialogue. Today, we are so limited by political correctness and the need to be tolerant that we simply can't have the discussion. I am not one those who thinks It is the President's responsibility to lead the discussion. He is every one's President and him taking up that cause would allow others to pigeon hole him into being the "Black President who only cared about Black issues." I don't see how we will resolve the issue of race but I don't doubt God. That being said, I think it would take an act of God for the issue to be completely resolved for once and for all.

This year is my 25th class reunion. I plan to attend. Why am I telling you all this? Well, I haven't returned to my Alma mater for a reunion yet. I have promised my classmates that I will show up. I went to a small private school for girls. My graduating class was 68 young women full of promise. It was the largest class that had ever graduated from the school filled with tradition. Our college attendance rate was 100%. I am getting excited. There is no rhyme or reason as to why I haven't attended otherr than it  occurs on the same weekend every year and so does my husband's. It is easier to attend his because Philadelphia is easier to get to. I am not trying to lose weight and look all fly(I already am fabulous), I am simply attending to catch up and have fun!

So that is the long an short of it. I missed you and wanted to holla! I have things to say and I will say them. I can't say that I am taking anything off of my plate so bear with me and be patient. God has my days worked out. I am trying to stay in His will. I hope that you are seeking His plan and purpose for you. Don't be a slave to the opinions of others. Clean out the thought closet. Be a blessing! Till next time!

Copyright February 19, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

A Thought Closet Makeover

This past weekend, I attended a Women's Conference at a local church. The conference theme was, A Thought Closet Makeover. Honestly, I almost did not attend. I was tired and just not in the mood. Unbeknownst to me, my friend had purchased a ticket for me so I felt obligated to go and not waste my money. Well needless to say, I am glad I did. I won one of the prize giveaways. Yep, a grocery gift certificate! Yea me! Yea me!

The conference speaker was Jennifer Rothschild, a 47 year old woman,who has been blind since she was 15 years old. Jennifer was stricken with retinitis pigmentosa, a disease in which the  retina of the eye degenerates and eventually leads to incurable blindness. Jennifer is a petite woman with a very down to earth presentation. She has authored several books, been on the Dr. Phil show, and speaks all over the country. She is also a mother and wife who appears to have valued maintaining her ndepepndence despite of her affliction.

I am going to give you a brief summation of what she taught. I hope you take a way that, like the words you speak, the thoughts floating around in your brain are extremely powerful. Her premise was this, until you learn to control your thoughts, your thoughts will control you.(ref. Proverbs 23:7a)  She shared this quote which I know I 've seen before but don't have a clue whom to attribute it to: If you sow a thought, you'll reap an action, If you sow an action, you'll reap a habit. If you sow a habit, you'll reap a character. If you sow a character, you'll reap your destiny. Now that right there is a really deep.  As women, it doesn't take much for a negative thought to occur and we turn it into a whole negative situation that simply doesn't exist. She reminded us that every feeling is not a fact.

Using II Corinthians 10:5, "casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ," as a guide, Jennifer challenged us to a) recognize the lie that we are telling ourselves. b) refuse the lie entry into our thoughts. c) rephrase the lie as truth and allow the truth to sit in the middle of our thought closet. Failure to do so could result in our losing the healing from God that we long for. She used the story of Naaman as an example. You can read about him in II Kings 5. 

Next, she encouraged us to get an accountibility partner. See, I was already on the right track, if you read my previous post, Who Gonna Check Me, Boo? I love that she encouraged each of us to find "big girls who act like Jesus." You really do have to be careful who you choose to hold you accountable. They have to be utterly respectful, encouraging, and gentle. They also have to be intimate with the person. The person has to have a peak into your thought closet as well as have the ability to be honest and thorough with you. She gave three questions that I absolutely fell in love with. The questions are 1. What do you see in my life that encourages you? 2. What do you see in my life that you'd like to caution me about? And 3. What else would you like to tell me? Ummmm! Those are serious! You have to be careful to whom you'd pose those questions to. Choosing the wrong person could lead to deep hurt and pain.  

Her ultimate message was that we are who God says we are. God is NOT impressed with our achievements. She told us that we needed turn our thoughts from "I" to "Him" and He will reveal His thoughts for us. If we are the center of our self-talk, we are resisting the spiritual rest that God has for us. If we remove ourselves from the equation, we can recieve and accept our identity from Christ. Our goal isn't to perform for God but to rest in Him and surrender to His will and walk in His grace with meekness. Isn't that something?

Several things became clear to me as a result of Jennifer's teaching. We all need to immerse ourselves in Truth. We can't label ourselves based on our issues, nor can we allow them to define us. God has already labeled us for His character and purpose. He desires for us to be conformed to His own image. God wants us to be clothed(wardrobed) in His righteousness. So it is important to speak truth to yourself and cling wholeheartedly to it. More importantly, we have to cling to Him because He has the ability to heal our issues and refine them. If you allow Christ to reign in your thought closet, your issues won't matter. Christ will resolve them.

So readers, what thoughts are floating in your closet? How many of them are lies that you've been told by others or yourself? Isn't it time to let those lies go and embrace the truth that God has for you? Our thought closet contains EVERYTHING that we've been taught. That is a heck of a lot of stuff! Jennifer said, "it may not be well with your circumstances, but it can be well with your soul. It can only be well with your soul if you are anchored to the truth of God." So today, I am challenging you to give your thought closet a makeover. One lie that you have been telling yourself can be holding you back. That lie comes with a whole lot of other stuff(which could also be lies) attached to it. If we change one lie at a time, we just might change our destiny. You don't want your negative self talk to be your truth and reality. It isn't normal! Please feel free to share your story with me as you change your thoughts. They say you are what you eat. We are as much what we eat as we are what we think. Turn that negative into a positive! Till next time! I love you! Be a blessing!

SN: if you are interested in check Jennifer out, her website is www.jenniferrothschild.com.

Copyright February 8, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Who Gonna Check Me, Boo?

As the year begins, we all make commitments to do better studying the Word of God. That is if you are a Christian and I certainly hope you are. I try really hard to commit to having some devotional quiet time each morning. It is very hard for me to commit to on the weekend. Recently, I was asked to be a part of a tech accountability group who would commit to reading the same devotional and checking in via e-mail. I am absolutely loving it. We don't all know each other and we have varying views on the material. We share our thoughts, struggles, and prayer requests. It has been going well so far.

We got the idea from a blog which explains how to set up your own. here is the link, www.womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com. The accountability period lasts for 90 days.  There is a study you can follow there or you can choose your own. The group is called Good Morning Girls. Tech accountability groups can take on a range of ideas. My girlfriend, Dana, had a group that focused on finances and financial issues. Groups like this support and encourage you to be better and do better. My group is using Donna Partow's, Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be: A 90-Day Guide to Living the Proverbs 31 Life. She is touching on lots of aspects women deal with from prayer, to home, to diet, and everything in between.

I am learning a lot about myself and I am thoroughly enjoying the perspectives of the women in my group. You never know what you can learn from someone else. We all need to be held accountable lest we go astray. What do you need to be held accountable for? Find you a small group of like minded people and set up a group. It might not be a spiritual accountability group, it may be health and fitness, finances, or parenting. Whatever it might be, try it. A three month commitment is a commitment. It is a short season. Everything works with checks and balances. We were not meant to journey life alone. So...who gonna check ya, Boo? Till next time, be a blessing!!!

Copyright January 27, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

10 Ways to Love People

My mom is on a roll. She has been sending some advice for life lately. She sent me this and of course I loved it. Not only is a good way to love others but it really is good for everyday living. Life would be less complicated if we can follow these simple guidelines. Give it a try. The year is still quite young and these rules can be utilized forever(and at any age). In fact, the younger we learn these things, the better off we'd all be. Remember, baby steps. If you fail, you can re-try daily. God gives multiple chances. I think He'd be more than pleased to see His children act out these principles in our day to day lives.

1. Listen without interrupting.  (Proverbs 18)

2. Speak without accusing.  (James 1:19)

3. Give without sparing.  (Proverbs 21:26)

4. Pray without ceasing.  (Colossians 1:9)

5. Answer without arguing.  (Proverbs 17:1)

6. Share without pretending.  (Ephesians 4:15)

7. Enjoy without complaint.  (Philippians 2:14)

8. Trust without wavering.  (Corinthians 13:7)

9. Forgive without punishing.  (Colossians 3:13)

10. Promise without forgetting.  (Proverbs 13:12)

Love is the greatest commandment of all. God has called us first into relationship with Him and then into relationship with others. It would be easy to be a Christian if we didn't have to deal with people. Life is not that simple. Employ these principles and exemplify love. If you need additional reinforcement about what it means to love, you should review I Corinthians 13. That said, let us all purpose to do do better at loving others. Have a safe and blessed weekend!

Copyright January 21, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Questionable Motives Part 2

Yesterday's blog just flowed out of me. That was great! What was even greater than that, was the confirmation I received during my morning quiet time and devotions, that what I said was on point. Yesterday, I challenged you to examine your motives. I encouraged you to make sure that the reasons you do what you do or say what you say or think what you think were edifying to Christ. Remember, only what you do for Christ will last.

This is what got me excited enough to share.....I am reading my devotions and the author points out that we bring harm to God when our motives and priorities aren't to please Him. Can you believe that? Harm! I am sure none of us ever wakes up thinking about bringing harm to God. After all, He has all power yet He gave us free will. Then I read another devotion and lo and behold it gave me this verse  to further confirm the fact that when our motives are wrong, we do bring harm to God. Matthew 12:30(NLT) states, "Anyone who isn't with me opposes me, and anyone who isn't working with me is actually working against me." 

That is a very powerful statement. In other words, we need to let God handle His own business. There is no need for us to manipulate a situation with wrong motives. We need to allow the Holy Spirit to work in and through us to accomplish His will.  So today's question is, Do you really want to bring harm to God? I don't think so. So that being said, again, I challenge you to check your motives. Not only can you bring harm to God but you probably will end up bringing harm to yourself. Till next time, examine yourself. Peace!

Copyright January 20, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe