In Diva Love, Pam 🙏🏽
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Sunday, May 1, 2016
My Loss, Heaven's Gain
I write this post with a heavy heart. My words will probably not adequately convey exactly what I want to, nor will they express all the emotions that I am feeling-and I am feeling some kind of way. Still in the throes of trying to understand why my favorite artist, Prince was gone, I had to put those thoughts to rest and focus on someone much more tangible and important in my world. On Friday, April 29th, I had to deal with the very real loss of an individual who touched most every aspect of my life, being given her angel wings and taking her eternal rest. That person is my Grandmother, Leola Brown, who is known as Nanno to me and her other grand and great-grandchildren.
This loss can be summed up in so many ways, but I am going to count myself lucky to have had her for just shy of 48 years. Nanno almost made it to her 102nd birthday, which would have been celebrated in the best month of the year--June. June happens to be my birth month too. I am happy to say that when our family comes together to say our final farewells, it will not be the first time she will be given her accolades. She has always been highly respected and celebrated among her family. We each have been given both private and very public opportunities to express to her how loved, cherished and important she was to us.
After losing her husband of 52 years and all five of her siblings, Nanno was the matriarch of our family. Not the ruling with an iron fist type of matriarch but a woman with a quiet observant nature who hated conflict. She was purposefully wise and full of strength and fortitude. She was comfortable in her skin and equally comfortable with her choices, even if you weren't in agreement with her decision. Once her mind was made up, you could pretty much save your arguments and pleas, the decision was pretty much final.
After losing her husband of 52 years and all five of her siblings, Nanno was the matriarch of our family. Not the ruling with an iron fist type of matriarch but a woman with a quiet observant nature who hated conflict. She was purposefully wise and full of strength and fortitude. She was comfortable in her skin and equally comfortable with her choices, even if you weren't in agreement with her decision. Once her mind was made up, you could pretty much save your arguments and pleas, the decision was pretty much final.
For most of my childhood and adolescent life, I had the fortune(although as a child, I don't think I viewed it this way) to grow up living right next door to my grandparents. I could just skip through my front or back yard and be at their house in seconds. Didn't like what my mom cooked, could look down into her kitchen to see if it would be better to eat over there. Could hear her and my grandfather every time they went in or out. Could catch a ride, could beg for money, and could sneak and use the phone when punished. Her basement was made for partying and gathering. Let's just say my sister-cousin Tracy and I made sure to utilize that in our teen years as well as our early adult years. What happened in the basement stayed in the basement.Like most grandparents, they spoiled us more than our parents.
What I'll miss most especially as an adult who moved away from Cleveland were the times I could come home and roll in through her back door and have moments to myself. Those were the priceless conversations and moments to cherish. I gleaned so much wisdom from those interactions. I could see the pride that she had in our family's history and her desire to share that. I know that she truly believed and embraced the Lord's commandment to "honor your father and mother that your days may be prolonged in the Land which your Lord your God gives you. " (Exodus 20:12 NASB). Since I was a first hand witness of how she cared for her own mom in her later years, I take the charge to honor your parents quite seriously. I feel assured that my own mom will be around for quite a while for this same reason. As Nanno did before her, with her mother, Carrie Chappell, My mom handled her business very well when it came to Nanno. Not out of a sense of obligation but out of sheer respect for her as a mom and person.
Those conversations were special because you never knew what Nanno had on her mind or what she might say. I learned a lot about trusting God and praying. I know I had a praying grandmother (insert Helen Baylor's voice here). I didn't grow up in a family who showed a great deal of affection or who verbalized their love for you. Do not interpret this as I grew up in a loveless family. I certainly didn't. I grew up in a family where it should be assumed and assured by the sacrifices and hard work to make things happen that you were loved and cared for. But it was in these private conversations that Nanno expressed that she was proud of the person I'd become as well as in the way I went about it. These moments are where you heard the things you needed to encourage you and let you know that she noticed they way you lived your life and that she was totally aware of your heart. Her discernment skills were truly on point. I never heard Nanno verbalize an "I love you" until I was well into adulthood. Imagine my shock the first time she said it, but oh to know the joy and pleasure of that moment. It did not validate me, it let me know that each day is new and God still changes people and calls them to be more and more like Him.
This post could go on forever because there are a zillion things I can remember, cherish, and share about Nanno. I am tearing up now so I'm going to end with this. I am going to really miss Nanno. She was a rock. She was a pillar of strength and a pillar of the community. She was a mom, a grandmother, a great-grandma, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a Christian, a gardener, lover of yellow and Dancing with the Stars. She liked baseball and listening to the radio. She was an excellent fried chicken/fish, peach cobbler, biscuits, and macaroni and cheese cook. She hated to argue and was loyal. She quietly made things happen. She had high standards. She was dignified. She couldn't handle pain. She didn't drive but got wherever she wanted to go. She was giving and loving. She was wise. She was my favorite person.
Her passing leaves a huge hole in my heart. I've never really done life without her. I'll miss her watchful eye and wise thoughts. I'll miss sitting down at her kitchen table to discuss what she's seen and observed in her life. A lot happens in a century. She experienced or witnessed the Great Depression, several wars, copious presidents, world tragedies, Jim Crow, South to North migration, lots of births, deaths, marriages and divorces, space travel, so many inventions, technology, the election of Our first African-American president, assassinations of historical greats and the list goes on and on.
As she entered the heavenly gates, not only was she welcomed into the arms of a Loving Jesus who could say nothing less than "well done my good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share Your Master's happiness." (Matthew 25:23 NIV), I stand assured she was greeted by countless loved ones who'd gone before. And the Angels rejoiced.
We too rejoice at the mark and legacy she left our family. We also mourn because a part of our hearts has received her eternal rest and reward and will no longer be here on earth with us. To be absent from the body is to be in the presence of the Lord. Nanno, I love you and you will always hold a very special place in my heart. Leola Brown you are no longer an earthly angel, you are now a heavenly angel and I hope to feel your presence daily as you watch over and guide us from above.
Tearfully submitted
In Diva love,
Pam 😘
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Wednesday, April 6, 2016
And Still I Rise
It's been quite a while since my last post and life has been moving right along at a frightening pace. Through it all, not only can I say that I am still here but also that God remains faithful to His promises. Each day has it own unique challenges but even better than that, each day has its share of blessings and surprises. So far I'm enjoying 2016 and the mountains have outnumbered the valleys. I am delighted to report that I don't look like what I've been through. Some changes are truly blessings in disguise. I can say that because I'm happier now than I've been in along time and I didn't realize how much peace had been missing from my life.
The first quarter of the year is over-time flies when you aren't stressed the heck out. My new normal is agreeing with me. God knew and ordained every moment. Trusting that His plan is good although painful is much harder to accept. You find yourself at a crossroads wondering how is this going to perfect me and mold me into a more Christ-like individual. Then one day you wake up and realize you have made it though the trials and storms and you are no worse off but you've gained a wealth of knowledge and your faith is stronger than ever. The Bible tells us that we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus and that no weapon formed against us shall prosper. I can tell you that both of those verses anchored me through tough times. Your sustaining verses may differ but make sure you have a Word to anchor you and keep you in the difficult moments. It makes a world of difference to have something to hold onto.
I obviously haven't done well posting.I can't believe my last post was in December. I apologize. I will try to do better. My mind is moving in a million directions but I am constantly asking the Lord for wisdom. I am contemplating some serious changes but I want it to be His will, not mine. My contemplation will probably become a future post. As I continue to rise from some tests, I just want encourage anyone who supports me by reading my posts, that you too will rise from the mess of your circumstances. Trust God and trust the process, even if it's painful. Accept help and support along the way. Pray specifically and often. You too, will rise. Be blessed and be a blessing.
Perhaps this song will help, Andra Day is doing the damn thing in this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNKu1uNBVkU
In Diva Love,
Pam
The first quarter of the year is over-time flies when you aren't stressed the heck out. My new normal is agreeing with me. God knew and ordained every moment. Trusting that His plan is good although painful is much harder to accept. You find yourself at a crossroads wondering how is this going to perfect me and mold me into a more Christ-like individual. Then one day you wake up and realize you have made it though the trials and storms and you are no worse off but you've gained a wealth of knowledge and your faith is stronger than ever. The Bible tells us that we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus and that no weapon formed against us shall prosper. I can tell you that both of those verses anchored me through tough times. Your sustaining verses may differ but make sure you have a Word to anchor you and keep you in the difficult moments. It makes a world of difference to have something to hold onto.
I obviously haven't done well posting.I can't believe my last post was in December. I apologize. I will try to do better. My mind is moving in a million directions but I am constantly asking the Lord for wisdom. I am contemplating some serious changes but I want it to be His will, not mine. My contemplation will probably become a future post. As I continue to rise from some tests, I just want encourage anyone who supports me by reading my posts, that you too will rise from the mess of your circumstances. Trust God and trust the process, even if it's painful. Accept help and support along the way. Pray specifically and often. You too, will rise. Be blessed and be a blessing.
Perhaps this song will help, Andra Day is doing the damn thing in this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNKu1uNBVkU
In Diva Love,
Pam
Friday, December 18, 2015
Nontraditional Traditions
Are you placing more emphasis on your Christmas being Merry or on it being Meaningful? Now that can be a loaded question. No need to take cover, no shots are being fired. One of my devotions placed emphasis on that question and I had already been thinking about this post. I considered it confirmation and so here I am. I love Christmas and I hate stress but somehow the two often get linked. I have to be intentional about why I love Christmas. It's because I love the miracle of the Christ child's birth and all it represents to me as a Christian woman. It is also because I love the music and smells of the season. O Holy Night can bring me to tears, its my favorite Christmas song, I have several renditions on my play list. It's also a chance to really hang out with my children and people I love. Trying to find a few perfect gifts for the ones I love simply makes the time a little sweeter.
What makes the time special are the little things we do. They aren't necessarily unique to us and our home but they are the things that bond us and keep us centered. Those are the family traditions that we have adopted over the years. As the children have gotten older, some things have gone away and been replaced and others remain in place. You can always introduce a new tradition, there is no limit to what your family can do to make your Christmas special and unique. My hope is not only that these things will be passed on but that my children will look back on those moments and cherish them in their hearts with fondness.
These are some of the things we do:
1. The Christmas tree always goes up the first weekend in December. We only have one tree. The decor can change from year to year. It must come down by New Years Day. My grandma said every year should have it's own tree. It works for me.
2. We purchase one personalized ornament every year. Everyone in the house goes on the ornament-yes even the dogs. My favorite one is from the year my cousin was living in our basement with her dog and we had two dogs of our own. That particular ornament is a Christmas tree and every one's name made it on an ornament. Adorbs.
3. My children build gingerbread houses/villages/ninja people. I love that. They have gone from little messy homes to neat ones with lots of thought, care, and precision. They make up some of my favorite candid pictures. Last year my daughter even had several friends come and they did theirs at our house to. They had theme and got a little competitive. That warmed my heart.
4. Pajamas are given on Christmas Eve night. We stay in them all day on Christmas. Let me not forget that there will be a photo shoot of my minis in said pajamas. The beauty of that is I can really see how much they've grown and changed over the years. Now there is is a moment of nostalgia for you.
5. Our stockings give us life. Everyone has to contribute to the other family member's stockings. There is no real limit to what one can do. For some reason, it has become one of the best parts of our Christmas celebration. Normally, I put favorite candies and small gift cards into them. One may find purse sized items or any number of unexpected items in the stocking. I usually find mini bottles of spirits and lottery scratch-off tickets. Yes, I like going into mine as much as they do.
6. We do a huge breakfast on Christmas morning and a very non-traditional meal in the evening. Dinner can range from surf and turf, to Italian, to very heavy appetizers. That appetizer meal was one of my favorites.
7. We no longer do a birthday cake for Jesus. We used to and we'd sing "Happy Birthday" and everything. We tried doing cupcakes but there was less enthusiasm for that tradition as the kids got older.
8. This year, I am introducing a new tradition. Unbeknownst to him, my son will be reading the original Christmas story straight from the book of Luke.
There are tons of other things that can be done. Remember Christmas is more about giving than receiving. It's a lesson I tried to instill early on so that my children will always find that being charitable is in style, no matter what you have going on personally. I would love for you to share some things your family does to make the season personal. Some things seem insignificant but you really don't know the impact you are having on your children till they get older.
I hope you find the real true meaning of Christmas reflected in all you do. Take a moment each day to reflect on God's love and be intentional about sharing that love. The world is in dire need of seeing Christ in you. Not sure if I will post again before 2016, so please have a safe and blessed Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa. If you find that you are lacking, choose to begin a tradition and make it happen annually. Don't look back and see that you had a Merry Christmas without meaning. You want to look back and see A merry Christmas filled with the meaning of the season. Jesus is the reason for the season and without Christ, There'd be no Christmas.
Merry CHRISTmas to you and your family. May 2016 be filled with the best and brightest blessings that God can bestow upon you!
In Diva Love,
Pam
What makes the time special are the little things we do. They aren't necessarily unique to us and our home but they are the things that bond us and keep us centered. Those are the family traditions that we have adopted over the years. As the children have gotten older, some things have gone away and been replaced and others remain in place. You can always introduce a new tradition, there is no limit to what your family can do to make your Christmas special and unique. My hope is not only that these things will be passed on but that my children will look back on those moments and cherish them in their hearts with fondness.
These are some of the things we do:
1. The Christmas tree always goes up the first weekend in December. We only have one tree. The decor can change from year to year. It must come down by New Years Day. My grandma said every year should have it's own tree. It works for me.
2. We purchase one personalized ornament every year. Everyone in the house goes on the ornament-yes even the dogs. My favorite one is from the year my cousin was living in our basement with her dog and we had two dogs of our own. That particular ornament is a Christmas tree and every one's name made it on an ornament. Adorbs.
3. My children build gingerbread houses/villages/ninja people. I love that. They have gone from little messy homes to neat ones with lots of thought, care, and precision. They make up some of my favorite candid pictures. Last year my daughter even had several friends come and they did theirs at our house to. They had theme and got a little competitive. That warmed my heart.
4. Pajamas are given on Christmas Eve night. We stay in them all day on Christmas. Let me not forget that there will be a photo shoot of my minis in said pajamas. The beauty of that is I can really see how much they've grown and changed over the years. Now there is is a moment of nostalgia for you.
5. Our stockings give us life. Everyone has to contribute to the other family member's stockings. There is no real limit to what one can do. For some reason, it has become one of the best parts of our Christmas celebration. Normally, I put favorite candies and small gift cards into them. One may find purse sized items or any number of unexpected items in the stocking. I usually find mini bottles of spirits and lottery scratch-off tickets. Yes, I like going into mine as much as they do.
6. We do a huge breakfast on Christmas morning and a very non-traditional meal in the evening. Dinner can range from surf and turf, to Italian, to very heavy appetizers. That appetizer meal was one of my favorites.
7. We no longer do a birthday cake for Jesus. We used to and we'd sing "Happy Birthday" and everything. We tried doing cupcakes but there was less enthusiasm for that tradition as the kids got older.
8. This year, I am introducing a new tradition. Unbeknownst to him, my son will be reading the original Christmas story straight from the book of Luke.
There are tons of other things that can be done. Remember Christmas is more about giving than receiving. It's a lesson I tried to instill early on so that my children will always find that being charitable is in style, no matter what you have going on personally. I would love for you to share some things your family does to make the season personal. Some things seem insignificant but you really don't know the impact you are having on your children till they get older.
I hope you find the real true meaning of Christmas reflected in all you do. Take a moment each day to reflect on God's love and be intentional about sharing that love. The world is in dire need of seeing Christ in you. Not sure if I will post again before 2016, so please have a safe and blessed Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa. If you find that you are lacking, choose to begin a tradition and make it happen annually. Don't look back and see that you had a Merry Christmas without meaning. You want to look back and see A merry Christmas filled with the meaning of the season. Jesus is the reason for the season and without Christ, There'd be no Christmas.
Merry CHRISTmas to you and your family. May 2016 be filled with the best and brightest blessings that God can bestow upon you!
In Diva Love,
Pam
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