Bullies...Whup Dat A--!!!

Dorna has a lot on her mind. The latest of which is bullying. The topic is in the news lately because of several suicides that have occurred as a result of such intolerable behavior. Sometimes parents have to take less than favorable stands on behalf of their children. Bullying is a coward's tactic. Enough of my opinion, this is Dorna's blog. Feel free to comment on Dorna's opinion.

Most of us heard the story of James Jones, the Florida father who stormed his 13 year-old cerebral palsy daughter’s bus to confront students who had been bullying her. Mr. Jones was arrested for his profanity laced outburst, for which he was released on $2000 bail and subsequently apologized. Mr. Jones’ behavior has been questioned and commented on with a resounding majority feeling he did the wrong thing for the right reason. Based on the comments I’ve read regarding the incident on CNN, !Yahoo News, and USA Today, people are very sympathetic to Mr. Jones’ reaction. Mr. Jones reacted as a father who has learned his daughter had been bullied for sometime; causing her to skip school to avoid her tormentors because she couldn’t deal with the problem. To make matters worse, the onset of the bullying began because she was defending someone else from bullying! I bet you Mr. Jones’ internal thought was “Ah hell naw!” I hazard to guess most parents would have a similar reaction.


My daughter is 17 years old in her senior year in Peachtree City, GA. Recently, she became embroiled in “girl drama” resulting in the breakdown of friendship between her and some of the “young ladies” (I use this term loosely). Lorin, realized the friendships were not true friendships and was okay with the loss. However, the “young ladies” began loud talking and taunting her on the bus and at school encouraging others to join in. It came to a head one afternoon, when they were to get off the bus and Lorin realized they were all walking toward our house to continue taunting and/or fight her. Lorin informed the bus driver that she was not getting off the bus and would get off at a different stop with another girlfriend and have me pick her up. The bus driver told her she had to get off there and could not get off at the other stop because she didn’t have a note. Lorin called me on her cell; the bus driver REFUSED to speak with me and continued to insist Lorin get off. Lorin refused and the bus driver eventually ended up turning the bus around and taking her (and everyone still on the bus) back to the school.


To say I was livid is an understatement!! I could not BELIEVE my child was being informed to head into harm’s way when she is asking for help from a supposedly responsible ADULT!! I have to say, God looked out for all involved that day, especially me!! He know if I had been at home (I had just started a new job that day), Mr. Jones’ behavior would have seemed mild in comparison to what would have occurred if I had showed up at Lorin’s bus stop!! As the kids say, it would have been on and popping!! As it is, I still want to cuss and smack the heck out of the girls, other students on the bus, and the bus driver!!


When my daughter arrived back at the school, she was able to see the principal and informed of her of what had occurred. The principal ordered Peer Mediation for the next day, but the “bullying” is still occurring. Even though I’ve met with one of the girl’s mother, the guidance counselor and spoken with two other administrators, things are still not right. Oh, and the bus driver, no action against her and I’m still waiting for a call back from the supervisor!! So, I have told my child ignore the heffas…I mean “young ladies”, however if they put their hands on her she is to “whup dat ass!!” She may not win, but let them know she’s not having it!! Now, I agree that violence doesn’t solve everything, but I think that’s the only language bullies understand!! Speaking in calm, rational tones will only incur more bullying. We know the major reasons bullies act as they do is because they are insecure about their own intelligence and place in the world. They are Satan’s minions in my estimation…they seek, kill, and destroy…another person’s self worth!!


I was not a bully growing up and was not a bullied. Bullying is as old as Cain and Abel, but I think it has moved to a more active level with the advent of some technology and the breakdown of civility in today’s society. I believe because we are no longer allowed to assist with “raising” each other’s children, the ability for bullies and children in general to get away with bad behavior has become more prevalent. Parents are not teaching good citizenship at home. Not to mention, TV and the Internet are not putting positive messages out on respectful behavior. The reality shows alone teach nothing but ignorance and disrespectfulness; to themselves and others.


As a parent, I have always taught Lorin to treat others with respect and courtesy; to have compassion for others. One of the things I have discovered as of late is that she doesn’t understand even if she isn’t the perpetrator of wrong to someone; laughing and/or saying nothing makes her just as complicit. It helps perpetuate bullying. Granted it may be funny to you, but it ceases to be funny when someone is hurt by the words and/or actions!! I have been trying to get her to see that she would not appreciate some of the things said if they were said to her!! She has to set an example by not reacting negatively and sometimes having to speak up for someone even when it’s not popular.


I totally empathize with Mr. Jones and have no issue with how he handled the situation. . I personally, feel Mr. Jones should be given an award and the tape of him “speaking” to the bullies be played to children all over the world!! The bus driver KNEW his daughter was being harassed. It’s her job to be aware of what’s going on and if she says she didn’t know, I have to say she’s lying. The school probably knew also and failed to take any action, probably because their hands are so tied with all of the legal crap they have to deal with to keep from being sued because they don’t want to infringe on upon some bad ass student’s right 30 years ago (maybe even 20) a parent having to involve themselves would have called for beatings all around. I don’t know about others, but if my mama came to the bus stop (or the school grounds), all involved would answer to her and THEN answer to their own parents. NOBODY would be sitting down for awhile!! Kudos to Mr. Jones in making sure his daughter’s tormentors were addressed!!

So how do we stop bullying? I go back to my battle cry “Elders take our village back”!! Don’t let the “rights” of children “bully” us (adults) into accepting bad and/or disrespectful behavior!! Be an example of good citizenship!! And most of all, PRAY… “correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.” 2Timothy 4:2.

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on October 19, 2010