Diva Dialogue-July, 2011th

Okay, my life has changed and my time is so limited that I haven't been doing the things that I love. I have neglected my blog and perhaps that is why I have been soooo emotional lately. I have been a little irritable too. I am going to blame that on the sleep apnea that I was surprised to find out that I had. I will explain sleep apnea in another post. I try to continuously remind you all that this blog is my therapy and I work my issues out on you, my loyal readers. That being said, I am just going to be random. It is also cathartic.

Right now, I am counting down the days till vacation! Yea me! Yea us, my happy little family! We are escaping the overly busy home front and going to chillax in the tropical Caribbean seas. I can't wait. I have been working full time and apparently it no longer suits me. It may not be the case but I probably need to be doing something more fulfilling. By the way it is 13 days till departure. I will tell you all about the cruise upon my return. Last year, I kept hearing and reading about staycations. Let me just say that that would not be a good option for my family. We need to get away to connect and regroup. We return refreshed with a  new attitude and a freshness to tackle life.

I can't believe that my daughter will enter high school in the Fall. Time flies. After all the school drama, she completed the 8th grade with excellent grades. Let's note that I didn't see any more effort on her part this semester, so I know I am right in saying that she should have been making the Honor Roll every single semester. My son will complete his final year of elementary school. He too completed the year with flying colors. Now it is time to impress upon the girl child the importance of her grades and extra-curricular activities. Gotta get into college and hopefully secure some scholarship money.

If you have an Ipod/Ipad/Iphone, you should be playing Angry Birds and Angry Birds Rio. Both games are highly addictive. The game is senseless, in that you are aiming a bird of some type at other animals. There is a little background story which I won't explain but trust me, you will keep trying it once you start. The other highly addictive game that  play is Words With Friends(WWFs). If you know me well, you know I love Scrabble. WWFs is a version of that. I love words and word puzzles. So I am suggesting that you check them out. I know, this is real random, huh?

The arrival of summer means we get blitzed with movies. This year there are several that I am excited to see. I can't wait to see the The Help. It was listed as one of my favorite books in a much earlier post. If you haven't read it yet, do so before you see the movie. Another film which should end up being a major blockbuster is the final installment of Harry Potter. Remember that I read the entire series with my daughter. We are bummed that we will have to wait till after our cruise to see it but we know it will be excellent. Transformers is out this weekend and my son is a serious fan. Special effects should be great.

For those of you who tend to neglect your health, let me encourage you to go see a physician and have a thorough physical. The life you save could be your own. Seriously! I have had a physical and all of my annual test this past month. I have a mammogram on Wednesday. Once a year check-ups can reveal things in your health that can be best solved if tackled early. I know it sounds kinda preachy but I know what I am talking about. My dad is deceased. He could be a walking poster board for why we should get ourselves checked regularly. He died of prostrate cancer. If detected early, it is one of the most treatable cancers. So I am imploring you to make an appointment today and keep it! Oh and I am totally healthy so this is not a health scare talking. I just think that we can't be anything to others without being good to ourselves.

Can you believe that 2011 is half over? I certainly can't. My grandmother told me that life seems to move more quickly when you have children. I guess she is correct. So at this juncture, what is it that you wanted to do this year that you haven't done? Who have you wanted to bless that you haven't blessed? What are you holding on to that you need to get rid of? Who haven't you forgiven? Just a little food for thought. Have a safe and blessed 4th of July. Aren't you glad we live in the land of the free and the home of the brave? Enjoy those cook-outs and be safe! Till next time....Ciao!!

Copyright on July 1, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Surprise!!!

I love an unexpected surprise! On Tuesday, I had a really crappy day! My car wouldn't start in a parking lot and I almost got a speeding ticket while driving home from work in hubby's vehicle. All I was thinking was that I just wanted to be in the comfort of my own home with the people I love the most in the world.  I really wasn't in the best mood...that is compounded by some work drama I can't discuss on here right now because you never know who might be reading. (#ocassionaltactfulblogger)

Well yesterday was a better day in many respects. The best occurrence was that my loving husband surprised me with a little gift that I had been desiring for a while. If you know me, you know my philosophy is, "Give the people what they want!" I received a very nice Pandora bracelet with four very fitting charms. They represent several things I care about...God, family, and love.  Let me just say how thankful and surprised and happy I was by my husband's gesture.  Gotta have those little moments. If you are ever in doubt about what to buy me, I will need charms. www.pandora.net.

Men Behaving.......Badly!!!!

This is gonna be a quick rant!!! Too much press has been wasted on this subject, but I just need to get this off my own chest. Men(and I use this term lightly),  learn how to handle your business correctly and take responsibility for your stupid actions. I am so damn sick of you all making a mockery of your marriage, wives, church, and the public in general. I mean seriously!!!

Your political position, your pastoral position, celebrity position, nor your lack of satisfaction in your current relationship give you the right to behave improperly. Anthony Weiner was a weenie when he publicly denied that he sent the pictures and had been hacked. Really now! I said he was lying immediately and of course I was right. Who could gain from that financially? I mean that is usually the reason for hacking some one's account, isn't it. Now he keeps showing up on television talking about he isn't resigning because he is doing the work of his constituents. Wasn't that what he was supposed to be doing when he sent the pictures out? Eddie Long pastor of one of the largest megachurches in the country settles out of court. If you aren't guilty, you go and fight to clear your name. Now there is a whole group of people who are all confused about their Christianity. Why, because instead of knowing that God is the true shepherd they placed their religiosity in a mere man. Then we have Creflo Dollar(and who takes someone with that name seriously) telling disenchanted members of Eddie Long's church that they aren't welcome at his church because men fall and we should stand in the gap and support them. BULL!!!! Creflo is wrong. This could be extremely detrimental to a young/new believer, especially if they are already confused about spiritual things. Well ultimately, Dollar telling you to go elsewhere is a blessing in disguise because he probably has his own issues, I mean his wife's name is Taffi. (SMH)

Ahh then there is Arnold....He has a child with the maid. Maria Shriver, a Kennedy, wasn't enough for him. Lust and greed are true examples of pride resulting in public humiliation and a fall from grace.  Oh, then there is LeBron. Yes, I know the Clevelander's have taken hatred of him to a whole nother level but I am not one of them. He had a right to go to another team, how he did it is where I believe the real issue lies. The public announcement on live television was a bit over the top. After all the hype, Miami Heat was unsuccessful in securing the NBA Championship and a ring for LeBron. Instead of LeBron being humbled and moving on he showed his ass and acted like one too. Suck it up. While I am on the subject, I am not sure about Tracy Morgan. I do feel that if you are a comedian, you can get away with saying a lot of things, call it comedic license. Is it possible to go too far? Is there a point where comedians have to be socially responsible. Just wondering?

Okay, I am pretty much done. I am simply tired of the media spending time on such reprehensible behavior. We are responsible for our own actions. When we do something wrong, we should fully expect to pay the price. No one is exempt. NO ONE! Every one if these is a perfect example of why your child's best role model should be right there in the home with them. As responsible adults, we can use each of the men discussed in this blog as a teachable moment. Every action has consequences and there is always fallout and silent victims. An important lesson also is that what is done in the dark will ALWAYS come to light. Losing is inevitable at some point. Take your loss with humility and purpose to do better next time. There is always another game. That being said, I am done with the matter. I don however reserve the right to take up the subject later if necessary. Till next time, enjoy the blessed life that you have been given. God doesn't make mistakes! Peace!

Copyright June 15, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Happy Birthday, To Me!!!

As my birthday is coming to a close, I am reflecting on the past year and my life in general. I am so blessed with a loving and supportive family, great friends who are like family, and more acquaintances than I can mention. There is nothing like having a wonderful group of people to help you through this strange thing called life. I love my husband and children. They make me laugh and scream and cry and pray. They give me balance and they throw me off balance. I couldn't imagine anyone else filling my days. They make me want to be a better person. They make me pray for a better world filled with opportunity and true equality.

My mom is one of my biggest cheerleaders. I am thankful that I am at a point in my life where I can actually say that we are truly friends and confidantes. I realize now how many sacrifices she made to give my brother and I a life of quality. She invested her time and talents, her resources were often lacking. It made such a difference in our character and values. Both my brother and I are better parents because of her example. I try to make sure that she knows that I love her and I really am appreciative of her willingness to invest and build children who are making a mark on their corners of the world. It goes without saying, that my grandmother made a major impression on my life as well. That Gemini woman quietly imprinted my life in ways I can't even put on paper. I have aunts who play a special part in my life and now those of my children too. I really do come from a strong stock of women. I carry a part of each of them with me.

I know I have written about my friends in previous posts but let me just say that I have some ride or die friends. I have women in my life who pray for me, check me, and uplift me. They support me through all kinds of crazy moments and happy moments. They too make me a better person. They have loved me through good times and bad. They check my children and sometimes my hubby too. They get me. I hope I bless them as much as they bless me.

So....God has blessed me with good people whom I wouldn't trade in for the world. Really, He has blessed me with a good life. I have done some great things. I wish I had done some things differently. I wish I had learned some lessons sooner rather than later. I can't even comment on the number things that I wish I had not said. I have made mistakes. In spite of it all, I get up every day and purpose to be a better person. My dad's motto was "Life to the fullest, no regrets!" Really it should be all of our mottoes. We should live each day to the fullest and when we reach the end, we should have few, if any, regrets. Sometimes, we have to smile even though we wanna cry and sometimes we need to let the tears flow. We need to reach out to others and encourage them on their life journey. You really never know when the lessons you've learned will empower and help somebody else. 

I know me better than anyone else. I am strong. I am kind. I am loving. I am prayerful. I am confident. I am every woman(in my Chaka Khan voice). I was born for a purpose. I haven't done all I plan to do. I love people and I want to see the best in them. I want to live out God's plan for me life. I want to continue to be honest and trustworthy. A great wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend and whatever other roles I play are also what I strive to be. 

So as I embrace turning 29 again, I place certain challenges upon myself. As always, to be a woman God can use. To be more healthy, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I am not going to allow people to impose their ideas of who I should be upon me. I am comfortable in my skin. I will always remain true and faithful to a set of core values. I am a person of my word. I am not given to following the crowd. What may look crazy to you, may be normal for me. I remain extremely prayerful. Chante is going to high school in September and that is a whole new world of parenting for us. I have no problem burdening others to pray for us and to intervene if necessary. Each day, I take stock of the people and influences in my life. If they aren't right or are causing excessive negative energy, they get the boot. Life is too short for folks who drain you in every interaction. So these things being said(and yes, I really could go on some more), I wish myself a very Happy Birthday! I thank God for the things He has done in this year and I welcome the challenges and blessings of the year to come. I only pray that I remember to seek His face and  that I remember when I am in the midst of a storm, that it too shall pass. Here's to another year of good living. Ciao!

Copyright June 3, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Business Promotion!!!

Summer is just about here. I know all of you have not made all of your travel plans. Please check out www.dreamy destinations.net or www.facebook.com/DreamyDestin8ns  for excellent travel deals. You can book your travel or take advantage of the specials offered there. Dreamy Destinations is my husband's travel business. We want to increase our clients and now is a good time to push for it. Tell your mother, cousin, neighbors and friends. He is thorough, honest, and had a passion for travel. We can't be successful, without a little help from you. One chance is all anyone ever needs. Don't forget to like us on Facebook and tell 3 friends to do the same.

Diva Dialogue-May, 2011

Well May is not quite over but nonetheless, I got something to say. Well, I always have something to say but hey I have been MIA and I know you all are wondering why. May is not the best month for me. It signifies so many things, good and bad. As usual, this one was no exception. May tends to be an emotional month for me. My dad passed in May and though it has been six years, sometimes it seems like yesterday. Our relationship was complicated. That is another blog for the future. Let's suffice it to say that despite the complexities, no one person has ever been less judgmental. Without a doubt, I knew he loved me. Some days, I just wanna hear his voice and see him interact with his grandchildren. Unfortunately, I only have memories and hopefully they will not fade any time soon.

I realized how much of a wishy-washy relationship I have with Facebook. I love that I have connected with old friends and acquaintances. I hate how people use it. I try to be positive. My messages are not issued subliminally and I don't project my life drama in my statuses. Anyway, I went to write on the Wall of a friend who had been on my mind. Lo and behold, I notice messages of condolences to her and her twins. My heart immediately skipped a beat. Long story short, her husband had passed away unexpectedly the day before. We are talking an individual the same age as me in the prime of their life. Made me pause and think that life is short and you betta tell your loved ones what they mean to you. Forgive easily too. I am holding my friend in prayer because I don't know how I would deal with becoming a widow at such a young age. I did talk to her and I commended her for her strength but I reminded her to take her time to grieve the loss of her hubby/best friend/soul mate. Society has no patience for people and their pain. Grief is necessary and all the stages must be dealt with for you to be healthy and move forward. It is a never ending process too.  I encouraged her to get a grief counselor for her and her children. 

Okay, okay! I am bringing you down, huh? Well, on a lighter note, I attended my 25th Class Reunion. I had not returned to the hallowed halls of Laurel School since I graduated. There really wasn't a reason. Just not convenient. I went to a private all girls school. I got an excellent education and some experiences that I would never have in a public school.  A couple of classmates started campaigning early to make sure I'd attend. I made them a promise and I followed through. I had an awesome time catching up with the girls. It was a blast to see where life had taken us over the years. It was also cool to reflect on the past but I'm thankful that time had changed us for the better. (SN: I was a minority child in a sea of non-minority faces. (Think about 6 of 58). I was a scholarship recipient amongst girls who got BMWs and Benzs for their 16th birthdays. I went home to the city, they went home to suburban sprawl.....you get the picture). The reunion was well attended. Yes, we had a record turnout. I was happy I was a part of the celebration and I have a much better appreciation of the women we each have become.

Yesterday was my 15th Wedding Anniversary. Wow! All I can say is that is has been a whirlwind relationship. Some up, some downs, and everything in between. Last year was a rough year for us and some times I wanted to walk away. Nothing worth having isn't worth fighting for. My husband is a good man. We both have issues and some times getting past them and working through them is a difficult task. Our union is one for the storybooks and so to keep it simple, we weathered the storm. Oh we both know there are more to come. For me, prayer and communication are the key. For him, it may be something else. What we know is that we love each other and we work well together. We have fun together. We have two awesome children who make us crazy. We both like wine and food and travel. We have aging parents and grandparents who we worry about. We have life stuff, just like every one else but at the end of the day, it is in each others arms that we find love, trust, and understanding. I wish that for every one. So we raise a glass to the next 15 years of love, life, and drama. I encourage married folks who are having a difficult period to stay the course and trust God.  I love Dmitri more now than the day we said, "I do!"

The month is almost over. The grill will be going, the wine will flow. We will share it with good friends. I will bid my dear friend Rose a sad so long as she returns to South Africa where she is a missionary sharing the gospel and mentoring others to grow their relationship with Christ. I will wish my dear friend Yvonne a Happy 50th birthday. We will light a candle in honor of Julius Luciano Torres, our nephew lost to SIDS. His 1st birthday would have been celebrated on May 30th. If you remember, please say a prayer for his parents, Tiffany and Dennis. The past few months have been difficult for them as it would for anyone who suffers loss of a baby. Two of my nephews will graduate and so will my 3rd child born to my friend, Dorna! The future looks bright and I wish Tre, Lorin, and Bryan well in their future endeavors. I have high hopes for each of them. Then on to the best month of the year June! Geminis unite! LOL! My birthday is coming. School will be over! Praise the Lord! Well, I gotta go! I love you all! Be safe this Memorial Day Weekend! Don't drink and drive! Be blessed and be a blessing! Ciao!

Copyright on May 26, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Osama is Finally Dead

Last night Pres. Obama announced that Osama Bin Ladin had been killed by US Navy Seals. What a whirlwind of images floated through my mind and another torrent of emotions surged in my heart. Wow! After 10 long years, where most American were confident bin Ladin would never ever be caught, the master of hide and seek was found and killed in a mansion in Pakistan. So many thoughts floated through my mind. I had gone downstairs to make a sandwich and came up to find my husband watching his favorite station, CNN. He quickly advised me that something BIG was happening but had no clue what. I stated, "maybe they caught and killed bin Ladin" in jest. He looked at me like I was crazy said that he thought it would be something to do with Libya. Moments later it was confirmed that I was actually on point. I patted myself on the back and waited with bated breathe for the President to appear and make the formal annpouncement.

As we waited, I reflected on that fateful day in September. I prayed that the families of the victims would feel some type of relief and closure. You can't minimize their loss and you definetely sympathize with their grief and pain. I pictured then Pres. Bush saying that we would seek justice. I thought about all the troops that fight tirelessly. I had a realization that there may be retaliation, so the troops are probably no closer to coming home. I prayed for their families, too. I prayed for the Obama family. Running this country can't be an easy task and of late I feel the public has made a mockery of the position. We are going to see all kinds of fallout from this one event. Some of it will be good and some of it will be tragic. What I am waiting for is to see how we proceed in our dealings with Pakistan. That is a very fragile relationship right now.

What I know is this, God is in control. He blesses in the midst of messes. We should all feel good about our country and pray for our leadership. Our daily security is threatened in ways we never know. There is another Osama bin Ladin who is already trained for the next task. We must be sober and vigilant. Yes we must always have hope. Only God knows why things have been orchestrated this way and we have to trust that His plan really is good.

I initially was gonna write about the White House Correspondent's Dinner. Obama and Seth Myers took it to Trump. We know he will be asking to see the body and wanting to check the DNA for himself to assure that Osama is dead. Let's face it, after waiting 10 years, we all need some proof. It is just the nature of the beast. Here's what I like about how things played out.....Yes, Obama dogged Trump. He deserved it. It was a classy way to get a Southside Chicago beatdown without throwing a blow. It was triumphant that the Pres pre-empted Trump's show the next night at what I know to be a pivotal moment. He interrupted the show and then arrived on CP(for my Caucasian friends, that's Colored People's) time to show that he can be gangsta if he has to. Tee hee hee. He delivered a clear concise message to the American public.

The Americans cheering outside the White House made me reflective. Was it really a moment to cheer? Would justice have been better served if bin Ladin had to meet a judge and jury? How were the families of the 9/11 victims going to feel? Hope or hype? Are we any safer? Are the troops going to come home any time soon? Only time will tell how things will play out. God bless America!!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on May 2, 2011