Reflections of a year Gone By/e

December 31st is here! 2017 flew by. What a strange, crazy, chaotic year it was. When I look back and reflect on all that happened, my overall characterization is disappointment. I feel like I was waiting for something great to happen....and it never did. Perhaps it’s why I feel antsy and restless going into the New Year. 

Despite the sense of disappointment I feel, I’m positive that 2018 will be better. On one hand, our state of affairs can’t possibly get any worse. We have a narcissistic POTUS who has major issues, people don’t trust police, and we still haven’t put race or religion in proper perspective in the United States. On the other, God remains in control and our job is to remain faithful and trust His plan. 

I don’t set New Year’s resolutions. I make up my mind to make personal changes and I do my best to make them a reality. This year, most of my closest friends as well as myself, will hopefully celebrate 50 year’s of life. My focus for this milestone is TRUTH. I am choosing to share this one because I am expecting miraculous things to happen for those in my circle and myself. So about truth....My plan is to walk in His truth, speak the truth (in love). and live my truth.

 For me that is being honest about everything. It means that sometimes my reality is not all good. There are real low days and moments and I’m not always my best self, no matter how hard I try. It means my finances are crappy and I can’t go out for lunch/dinner/drinks. It means that despite being popular and extroverted, sometimes I feel lonely. It also means that most days are fairly good. I am beyond blessed and feel guilty about complaining. I have a place to live, food on my table, and a job that covers most of my bills. I’m healthy but feeling the effects of being almost 50-those bones creak y’all! More importantly, I have a relationship with Jesus. My faith keeps me going on the days I forget exactly how blessed I am. 

Yesterday, my Facebook status reminded my family and friend to choose themselves. You have a right to choose YOU! I’m not saying to be selfish or dismissive of others. I am encouraging you to chose yourself over toxic relationships and situations. Choose to say no or maybe, instead of getting caught up in a vicious cycle of busyness. Remember, sometimes good is the enemy of best. If you don’t protect your spirit, no one else will. Walking alone is better than walking in a crowd that is negative and drains your energy. 

No year is complete without me reviewing my circle. I make a mental note of who poured unto my life and spirit and who didn’t. Friendships work both ways. The older you get the smaller the circle gets. You may not fight with a friend but you may wake up one day and find that you simply aren’t in the same season or that your interests no longer align. No drama, just a natural parting of ways. Learn to be okay with that. I certainly have. It also makes you take a good look st yourself...do you add value or are you just there for the ride? 

Self reflection is hard for a lot of people. But living your truth will make you take a good hard look at yourself. I’m no different. I felt like I was in a rut this year. I am going to have to make some things happen for 2018. Life is short and I need to make sure that I’m “getting busy living.”  I want to make sure that my circle knows without a doubt that I love them. I want to be present for the special moments. I want to pour not drain. I want to be close to God and hear His still small voice guiding me every step of the way. That requires surrender, obedience, and a yielded heart. 

That’s my reflection. What’s yours? Are you choosing you? Are you walking in your truth? Was 2017 good to you or are you happy to see it end? What are you expecting for 2018?  My hope for you is that God will bless you abundantly. If you are lacking a relationship with Him, take time to trust Him with your everything.  His promises are true and His love never fails. I hope that at the end of 2018, you have made a difference and accomplished much. This is the time. New beginnings, new you! It’s never to late or early to make a fresh start. 

May 2018 be your best year ever! Happy New Year to you and yours! God bless your endeavors and may you prosper. Thanks for reading my blog. Take time to comment. Be strong! Be fearless! Be intentional! Most of all, walk in your truth and choose you! 

In Diva Love,

Pamela 🥂❤️🙏🏽

Your Voice Does Matter

I've been writing and rewriting this post for several weeks now. With all the allegations and admitted sexual harassment, several things have come to mind. Power corrupts but absolute power corrupts absolutely. Unfortunately, power carries a lot of weight, especially in certain industries. Hollywood is one of them. Sadly, it's an industry where people always have to seek acceptance.That makes those folks vulnerable, especially since up until very recently, women held no places of power in the industry which allowed men to prey on young aspiring stars and starlets. 

Stories are coming out right and left about sexual misconduct. It appears that it really does exist everywhere. I am extremely happy that women, and in small number, a few men are coming forward with their stories. It is a reminder that your voice matters and your story needs to be heard. Obviously, there is power in numbers. We are getting more of these stories as fear begins to take a backseat. Looking specifically at Harvey Weinstein, we can see where fear overshadowed repeated calls for help. It was widely known that he was a disgusting pig who preyed on aspiring thespians, yet his company was very powerful. I don't know why women are finally speaking their truth but let it serve as an encouragement. In most cases, your story needs and deserves to be heard. Your story/conflict/situation is probably NOT an isolated case. No matter what fear you have, speak your truth.There is unity and power in numbers. 

Let's examine another predator. Roy Moore, a candidate for US Senate, in the state of Alabama, is obnoxious, however, I'm sure he feels empowered because the POTUS is an admitted harasser and yet he has landed the highest office in the land. Moore refuses to step down despite over 30 allegations accusing him of sexual misconduct. I'm sure in his mind that if the POTUS can continue in office, he can continue to run for Governor. Another act, that causes my stomach to turn. From my perspective, it's another man who is so used to the good ole boy way of doing things that he refuses to be a decent human being and go gently into the night. How dare we want him to take two seats. I'm sure him being from Alabama doesn't help.  Again, it makes me sad that our children are held witness to such dishonorable behavior. Kevins Spacey, as much as I like him as an actor, has become a person non grata in my book because in his apology for sexual misconduct, he took the opportunity to out himself as gay. Who the hell does that? A good ole boy, that's who. Now the livelihood of hundreds of folks livelihood is in limbo because production has been stopped on House of Cards due to his indiscretions.

All of this confirms that you better be your child's first and best role model. As we can see no one is exempt from being a predator. Bill Cosby was, "America's dad" back in the 80s when his show was a huge success. I feel absolutely positive that he is guilty of mistreating and sexually abusing women, despite being extremely talented. As I type this, Russell Simmons, has stepped down. Mr. Zen himself creeped me out when he married a very young Kimora but hey, just my thoughts. Matt Lauer was terminated by NBC earlier this week for detailed acts of misconduct. You'd think $25 Million/year and a high profile would be enough. NOT! Obviously, I could go on since every day, there is at least one person outed of late but you get the idea.

So what exactly is my point? SILENCE IS NOT GOLDEN. God gave each of us a voice for a reason. We need to use our voices, even when we think no one is listening. Your mess will become a message and that message can help someone else. Living in fear is not living at all. You are in bondage. We weren't meant to be in bondage, we were meant to live free and in community. America is an ever changing place and hopefully things continue to improve. Things never change or improve if you fail to add your two cents....no matter how painful or hurtful they may be. Your story matters, your testimony matters. By silencing yourself, you continue to give power to the individual who caused you harm in the first place. Speak your truth, it deserves to be heard. It may fall on deaf ears at first but keep speaking. You will touch someone. Remember...power lies in the tongue...just make sure you use it for good. 

In Diva Love, 

Pamela