Miss Read, random thoughts of a misunderstood DIVA

Love, Peace, and Soul

2012-02-05T12:01:00.002-05:00

On February 1, 2012, news reports indicated that Don Cornelius was dead from an apparently self inflicted gunshot wound. He was 75. Don Cornelius is best know for launching the now extremely famous long running music show, Soul Train. If you are an African American person, you probably spent many a Saturday morning in front of your television watching, singing and dancing to the latest musical talent in our community. Hardly a Saturday morning went by, where most of us didn't take the "hippest trip in America." White America revered Dick Clark and American Bandstand, Soul Train was the African American community's equivalent.

I have great memories of getting up on Saturday mornings and doing some serious cleaning. A break was always guaranteed once Soul Train graced the air. I could figure out the Scramble board with expediency and you could believe that my brother and I were grooving down our own Soul Train line. The fashion was eccentric and the moves were meant to imitated. Who can forget the Asian chick with the long hair or the afros, or the robot? So many memories come flooding back and they all make me smile. Cornelius hosted the show from 1971 to 1993. Thirty five years is a long time and it covers various musical eras and styles of dress. The show continued until 2006. Soul Train was a platform for seasoned and upcoming musical artist of color. It defined black pop culture for many years.

Cornelius apparently had serious health issues having suffered a stroke at some point and also had undergone brain surgery as well. He was a smooth dresser with a trademark deep voice. His vision for the show was groundbreaking because he really gave Black music a face. He also created the Soul Train Music Awards to highlight and give our artists their due. There is an extraordinary Time Life series highlighting the long running show. Not just a host but the owner of his shows, Don Cornelius leaves a legacy in the music community that will not easily be matched or surpassed. No one knows what drew this legend to end his life but a void will be felt. By all accounts, Don Cornelius was loved by many. He leaves two sons behind. There are memorials planned and even a flash mob to commemorate his life. Rest in peace!

In true DIVA love and soul,

Pam

Thankful Thursday

2012-01-26T15:50:00.001-05:00

I haven't been a writing mode or reading mode lately. If you know me, then you know that means something might be off. I feel I owe it to my readers to post regularly and I have been MIA for a couple weeks. To ease my guilt, I thought I would post a Thankful blog. I know this is done quite a bit in November to honor Thanksgiving. Every day that we wake up and have breath, moving limbs, and a sound mind we should be thankful. Hence this post.

When I look back over the past year, I have a million small reasons to be thankful for what God has done. This year, my husband and I had the pleasure of hosting several members of his family who came to visit. To borrow a term, most of these visits could be considered "milestone trips." All families have their share of dysfunction and his is no exception. Sparing you all the details, it was truly a blessing for his aging mother to come along with his oldest sister. Later in the year, another of his sisters visited and I truly gained a good girlfriend. We were also fortunate enough to have my hubby's children come to visit. If you know us well, you know that is a miracle that has been prayed for for a really long time. Every visit went well and a great time was had by all. My husband is a happy camper and I am thankful to be able to witness all these things come to pass. God is faithful and His timing is perfect even when we don't think it is.

I am also thankful for the haters in my life. Truth be told, they motivate me. Life is tricky but God always reveals the true character of the people in your sphere of life. You never know who is trying to salt your game. Case and point, I asked an "acquaintance" about her opinion on something I had been asked to do by a common friend of ours. We had a brief conversation and I was done. As chance would have it, I was meeting the common friend right after. As we sat chatting, she opened her e-mail and there was one from the "acquaintance" I had questioned earlier. The acquaintance, had sent her an e-mail in less than a span of a half an hour and indicated that she had spoken with me but had some reservations about me doing what I had been asked to do. WTH? Who does that? I immediately got pissed off because my questions were a) quite general and b)because the person was in no position to have reservations about me in that capacity. SN: I knew I'd see the acquaintance the next day and she'd be smiling in my face(unbeknown to her that I saw the e-mail). Of course I thought about confronting her and the earlier versions of me would have done so without reservation but the tactful mature me, let it go and tucked it into my head for future ~~retribution~~ reference. I will let you know how things turn out there because I don't deal well with backstabbers or well intentioned folks who stick their noses where they don't belong.

I am also thankful for my friends and family. Most of my close friends live in different cities. God knows when to have them check in. Just when you think you might lose it, a well placed call from a person who knows the real you, does wonders for the soul. Not a day goes by that I don't praise God for the people I have chosen to have a role in my life, nor does a day go by that I don't give thanks for the the dysfunctional bunch of folks that I didn't choose (my lovely family). God knows what we need but more importantly who we need to cultivate the best of us or build in us the character that brings Him glory. The cast of characters in my life is as varied as it is flawed but I wouldn't trade them for anything. I am blessed and I know it. Thanks for allowing me to vent/share/digress. Till next time, remember it is the little things that are important.

In Thankful Diva love,

Pam

Mommy Blahs #1

2012-01-11T16:26:00.002-05:00

I have a headache as I type this blog. My oldest child is 14 and she is a Freshman in high school. She is a very intelligent young lady whose goal appears to be excelling in underachievement. You'd have to understand that my hubby is the consummate overachiever and I simply don't settle for mediocrity. God has challenged me with both of my children. they love life and everything about it but they aren't pressed about making a statement and leaving their marks. OMG! I was a busy in high-school and college. I was NOT an A student, in fact, I was an average student. I did however participate in any and everything. My husband was #2 in his class and he too was a busy student. My kids are content to sit back and chill. Lawd, this entitlement generation is going to give me a coronary. We are miffed because nothing in us has prepared us for handling this.

I don't want to impose my agenda on my children but I know it is my role as a parent to spur them to greatness. My daughter has the ability to be an A student. She is lazy and hates to study. She is NOT interested in participating in any activities. My issue is this, if you aren't super busy with activities, you have to be an awesome student. Hubby and I are ranting about being well rounded for college applications and you know what? It is frustrating as all get out! She doesn't get it and we can't make her. Anyhoo, God has shown me yet another area of specific prayer! Pray for me and my children! I keep telling my kids to tap into their God-given power. Them being afraid of their power limits their friends. I think they need to spur their friends to greatness. and vice versa. It is stressful when you see things in people that they fail to see in them selves. Don't get me wrong, there are adults who suffer from this but children still have more hope and potential to impact their niche.

Okay, I think I am over it now! Well not really! Thank goodness for God's grace and mercy. More importantly, for His plan. He has mapped out a future for both my children. No level of underachievement will keep them from doing that which He has for them to do. That nugget is keeping me sane right now. Thanks for allowing me to rant on what for most bloggers is Wordless Wednesdays! Love you guys!

In Kicking & Screaming Diva Love,

Pam :)

Seeds

2012-01-08T16:42:00.003-05:00

We are still early in the year so most of us are still planning out how this year will be the year that we will (insert your plan here). Yep, we have a plan for things to happen even if we haven't made any resolutions. So, what does that have to do with a seed you ask? Well it is real simple. A seed is equipped with everything it needs to become a plant. The seeds contain the leaf, the stem, and the flower. We simply need to plant it and water it, and give it a bit of sunshine.

Has God ever put something on your heart? Is there something you know that you are supposed to do but haven't done it? What is stopping you? Is it fear, anxiety, worry, or doubt? We too are equipped with everything we need. Sometimes we need to step out on faith and just do that thing. It may not make sense to anyone but you (and God). If God has told you to do something, He has already equipped you with everything you need to accomplish it. So here I go, issuing you yet another challenge. Let 2012 be the year that you birth whatever it is that God has spoken to your heart. All you can do is put one foot in front of the other, one step at a time.

Ponder this verse in your heart, The Message says it quite plainly, "Because you're not yet taking God seriously," said Jesus. "The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, 'Move!' and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn't be able to tackle." (ref: Matthew 17:20) The Word is telling us that with just the minutest bit of faith, nothing is impossible. To further confirm, James 1:22 states, "Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear!" (ref: The Message) So what are you waiting for? Your destiny (and mine, because this is just as much about me as it you) is calling! Get started! Be blessed and be a blessing!

In Diva Faith & Love,

Pam

New Beginnings!

2012-01-01T20:09:00.002-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

These are my resolutions for 2012:

I resolve not to make any resolutions which I probably wouldn't keep anyway. That being said, I welcome the New Year because it brings new opportunities and a fresh perspective to what might be an old situation. So I resolve to be a better me. That translates into being happy, healthy, and positive. I can't let my circumstances define my persona. In turn, I will remain true to the fact that God will carry me through the highs and lows of life. Who benefits from this? Well, everyone in my space. A better me means a better Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, blogger, lover and anything in between. Every New Year is filled with promise. This year we each have 366 days to be better and do better. Don't make resolutions! Just put it in your head and heart that 201 will be more than you can dream or imagine and wake up each day filled with that purpose. One foot forward, no looking back! So what are you waiting for? There are only a few hours left and then you will only have 365 days to get it right.

Whatever your resolve or perspective, may 2012 be the best one yet. Life is journey, it takes a million twists and turns. Some are expected and others blow us away. The best that we can do is stay true to ourselves and not let the needs and wants of others change who we are at our core. We really can't be everything to everybody. We need to show resilience and grace in the midst of our storms. It is easier to smile than frown. Most important, we need to be honest...honest about our feelings, desires, shortcomings, and life experiences. Everyone can benefit from the truth. Finally, don't forget to pray, it may not change your situation but it will definitely change you! Enjoy all the blessings that are in store for you in 2012!

Divaliciously yours,

Pam

Don't Look Back, You're Not Going that Way!!!

2011-12-31T12:51:00.001-05:00

Well, this is it! 2011 will officially become the past in a matter of hours. For many of us, myself included, it will be a time to reflect and renew. Out with the old and in with the new. For each person, 2011 has it's own set of memories, some great and others awful. No matter what has happened, if you are reading this post, it means you survived and made it through. Our experiences become the sum of our lives. Those experiences are our best teachers of how to move forward and continue processing this thing called LIFE. It is important to let those things go and remain a small part of our life journey. Each day holds its own set of drama and experiences. Holding on to past hurts and regrets will make you depressed and bring you down. Nobody likes dealing with Debbie Downer all the time.

As we usher in 2012, many of us will make resolutions and promises. Some will be kept and others will be long forgotten before the 31st day of January. We all have an idea of what we think defines perfection in our lives. God knows better than we do, and often times, He has a totally different plan set for us. Whatever the path, be it easy to navigate or in need of a lot of direction, He remains in control. We simply need to stay in His will and walk the walk and talk the talk with dignity and grace. We need to remain true to our own values and not be defined by the needs and desire of others. Whatever the case, our eyes should be focused on the future. The past is just that, something that happened. We can't change it. It is old news and old stuff. Life is a journey, we go forward. Sometimes, we really do have to press ahead. That means no it won't be easy, but the motion is forward.

Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. God told us to let each day handle its own set of issues. “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34 NASB) Sometimes we simply need to take the focus off of ourselves and focus on others. The world will never suffer from us being kind to a stranger. A smile can make a huge difference in some one's life. Listening is also important. Sometimes, it is a matter of us just slowing down long enough to meet a basic need for someone else. When all else fails, prayer works. God never answers in our prescribed method but He will move in a situation. Sometimes His lack of action is our answer. Prayers work not just for us but for others. We have to intercede and seek God's will for others, God isn't looking for us to pray about our personal concerns all the time, in fact prayers for self should be the end of our requests, not the beginning.

Wherever you are and whatever you do to ring in the New Year, I hope you will do it safely. If you are drinking, please don't drive. Friends really don't let friends drive drunk. Whatever hurts, anger, and bitterness you are harboring, let it go. You will feel so much better and your health will improve. I say it all the time, on our worst day, we are more blessed than so many others in the world. If you are having a pity party, I challenge to to count your blessings, name them one by one. Once you do this, you will be quickly reminded that though your past has been challenging, your future is still bright with promise. Every day you can choose to be positive, you can choose joy, and you can choose to look beyond yourself.

May 2012 be your best year yet! May God bless and keep you! May your successes be many! May there peace and prosperity in your future! May there be much love, joy, and laughter in the year to come. Happy New Year to each and every one!!!

In Diva love,

Pam

Twas the Night Before CHRISTmas

2011-12-24T13:28:00.001-05:00

Today is Christmas Eve! Yea! You all know that I absolutely love Christmas. From my previous post, you also know that I was having trouble getting into to the spirit of the season this year. Well the moment is upon us. I know there are folks out there shopping today but alas, I will not be one of them. Children are eagerly anticipating all the material things that they will receive under their beautifully decorated trees tomorrow. Parents are exhausted from running to and fro to find the right toy or gadget. Cookies are baked, parties have been given. The sad thought is that most of things have not included the real thing. Jesus, the reason for the season. You all are aware that Christmas is a spiritual holiday, aren't we? Funny, even secular folk get caught up in the wonder of the moment.

Christmas Eve is a good time to reflect on the past year and start looking ahead to the year to come. If you are reading this post, you are very blessed. God has been good to you. For some reading the post, it has been a good year, for others perhaps, it has been stressful year. All of us have weathered our share of ups and downs, trials and triumphs. We have lost loved ones, gained new friends, watched our finances stretch beyond our wildest imaginations. We've seen politics played out in the most immature and condescending fashion. Celebrities fiascoes have invaded our homes and wasted our time(and energy). Terrorists have been captured and killed. Icons have died and left legacies that will forever change technology. Television will not be the same but of course we already know that given the number of reality televisions shows that air daily and the lack of talk shows being able to survive.

No matter what has happened, guess who was NOT surprised? You got it, GOD. He ordained every single moment. I often find myself wondering why He allows some of the foolishness. Look what sin has done. Anyhoo, I digress! Christmas Eve is one of my favorite part of the season. Energy is high in my house and just about every other house in the world. What I hope is not missing is the reflection of what happened long long ago. The birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Like Mary, the Virgin Mother, there are things we really should ponder in our heart.

Christmas should be carried with us throughout the year not just from Thanksgiving to New Year. Our hearts should be filled with love for others 24/7. We should be kind to strangers and service workers. We should be hospitable, we should be caring and we should be happy. Our minds should go to the lonely neighbor down the street, the childless widow at work, the countless men and women who sacrifice their family time and unfortunately, sometimes their lives to protect our country, and the saints who serve on mission fields to spread the gospel of Christ. Our prayers should also be filled with these people. I say it all the time, "Be blessed and be a blessing!" Blessing don't have to cost a thing. It takes nothing to smile, hold the door, or engage someone in a really meaningful conversation. The gift of time is precious but it is also priceless.

Jesus had the unique ability to meet people wherever they were. Jesus met all of their needs. Physical, mental, emotion, and most importantly, their spiritual needs. Ministry is work but He made it look so easy. Jesus was never impatient and always had an agenda, yet He took time to nourish His own spirit with prayer. He surrounded himself with a myriad of characters who were constantly surprised by His compassion, power, and insight. Take note my friends. and take heart. Life isn't easy. It is even more difficult when you only focus on yourself and fail to pray.

As we embrace the real day that has been set aside to celebrate the birth of Christ, let us all reflect on how unselfishly God gave His only Son Jesus Christ for us. Let us not keep Jesus out of our celebration. Let us hold the love we have at Christmas in our heart the whole year through. Embrace your family and friends and hold them close. Yea, I know they are all dysfunctional but hey, they are your dysfunctional peeps. Be kind to strangers, all the time. Donate to charity! SMILE! PRAY! BE BLESSED AND BE A BLESSING!

Whatever you celebrate...Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Christmas......let it be filled with love and laughter. Be merry. Be thankful for all God has brought you through. You aren't the same person you were last Christmas. Hopefully, that is a good thing. Everyday is a new day. Christmas spirit can be a part of every one of them. As the night ushers in Christmas, remember that without CHRIST, there would be no Christmas and that Jesus is the reason for the season. Make that reality a part of your thoughts for the next 36 hours. You simply can't have a celebration with out inviting the guest of honor to the celebration! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

In Diva love,

PAM

Without Christ, There Couldn't Be a CHRISTMAS!!!

2011-12-17T10:00:00.001-05:00

Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year! For some reason, I am having a difficult time getting into the spirit. Maybe it is the commercialism that has dulled my senses. Let's face it, Christmas decor is being displayed earlier and earlier each year. I keep joking that eventually, it will be on display year round. I wish there was a rule that Christmas displays can't be put out til Thanksgiving. I know that means we'd only see them for a month. At this point in my life, I'd settle for November 1st.

Christmas has lost its focus on Christ. I realize that many people have no spiritual grounding. During the month of December, I post a song, sometimes secular, sometimes spiritual, and this year a Christmas related quote. Who cares about being politically correct? My girlfriend watched A Charlie Brown Christmas for the first time this year and was pleasantly surprised that the special actually does focus on the true meaning of Christmas and that Linus' lines have not been edited out. He does quote directly form the Bible.

Our best hope for the season remains in Christ. For those that don't know what it means to have a relationship with Christ, one can only hope that they will embrace the best spirit of the holiday. That means that hopefully they are a little more patient with the salesclerks or a little more charitable with their possessions. More importantly, I hope they encounter at least one person who will share with them the love of Christ and what His birth and ultimately His death means to them. Only then can you know the real meaning of Christmas.

The story of Christ's birth is simple and plain but it is no short of a true miracle. I end this post by sharing it with you straight from the book of Luke, Chapter 2, verses 1-2: In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!" When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us." And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them. (ESV)

I hope you have taken the time to reflect on the simplicity of Christmas. It really isn't about the gifts you give or receive but about the hope you have in your heart. It is about the character and joy you bring to others the whole year through. Like Mary, we need to ponder these things in our heart. Jesus was God's gift to us so that we could have eternal life. Without Christ, there would be no Christmas! Jesus is the reason for the season!

Diva Blessings,

Pam

Sandals

2011-12-17T09:57:00.002-05:00

Three luxurious Sandals resort in three jam packed, fun-filled days. Dreamy Destinations just attended site inspections on Sandals properties.Can you imagine 240 travel agents on a charter plane descending on three properties all at once? Well that is what happened. We saw Sandals Emerald Bay in Great Exuma (Bahamas), Sandals Grande Antigua, and Sandals Royal Bahamian.

If you are a couple looking to revitalize and enhance your romance,Sandals is your destination. Did you just get engaged? This would make a perfect location for your destination wedding. They have 8 Martha Stewart packages for you to choose from-you can add on to make it unique. There is also a professional wedding coordinator on each property. If romance is not on your agenda right now, maybe you need a girlfriend getaway or a place to have a birthday/anniversary celebration. Sandals can make it a memorable celebration just for you. There are numerous restaurants to satisfy your palate. Romantic rooms, luxurious beaches, and no children. Does it get any better? Are you looking for professional, 24 hour service that will cater to your every need? You can't beat butler service. They will draw your bath, unpack your bags, decorate your room and pretty much any other thing you can think of. The staff is friendly and accommodating and the grounds are beautifully landscaped.

Water sports abound, most included in your package. To plan you perfect excursion, Island Routes is on the resort to make sure you have the thrill of a lifetime. There is daily entertainment and nightly activity too. Commercials get you interested in Sandals, but the pictures we posted after seeing the resorts up close and personal, are the real deal. Each resort has its own unique flavor but what doesn't vary is Sandals commitment to making your vacation an experience that you won't soon forget and will keep you coming back for years to come. So what are you waiting for? Call us to book a fantasy vacation that you won't soon forget!

In Diva Travel Mode,

Pam

December Diva Dialogue-2011

2011-12-08T18:01:00.001-05:00

I have been AWOL and Lord knows things have been moving and shaking in my absence. Sometimes it kills me not to put my opinion out there. Life calls though and I can't always post like I want, when I want. That being said, I am going to riff on several things.

First up, Herman Cain. I am going to keep it short and simple! I hate arrogant people who are also ignorant. Herman Cain fits the bill. I never considered him a serious contender for the GOP nomination but let's face it, their pickings are extremely slim. That being the case, he was allowed to gain popularity despite being ill informed on a variety of subjects. I am gonna say that he is also an unattractive womanizer. Goodness, he reminds me so much of Clarence Thomas that I wanna scream. I am mad because he didn't champion his wife enough to go immediately to clear up the drama of all these women coming out of the woodwork to say that he allegedly sexually harassed them. He made the wife wait five days before he went to see her. WTF? Dead wrong!As of this posting, I guess he's had plenty of time to mend fences with her because he has finally done the appropriate thing and removed himself from the media spotlight.Now we can focus n the antics of Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich. Happy happy joy joy!

Let me just put this out there. Is Gloria Allred the only attorney who can represent sexually harassed victims of men in the spotlight? I mean really. I hate seeing her! Maybe it's just me!

Jerry Sandusky was again arrested on yesterday as a ninth and tenth accuser have come forward to allege abuse at the hands of the former Penn State defensive coordinator. Joe Paterno has been been fired. The legacy of that University has been tarnished forever. The major question which emerges is this, actually there is no question. Joe Paterno was dead wrong for not being more proactive about Sandusky's problem. We are our brother's keeper and as a coach, Joe had a responsibility to do the right thing and pursue corrective action.

Donald Trump is back. Oh joy! Here he is talking politics again. Really, media whores are ruining the US one appearance at a time. What serious presidential candidate in their right mind would participate in a debate moderated by him? Trump has and always will have his own agenda. Any minute he will be talking about running again. Like that could happen.

Today, there has been another shooting at Virgina Tech. This really saddens me. I know you really aren't safe anywhere but my goodness, how much can one school take. I am praying that my children aren't interested in going there. Once again, the Virginia Tech community stands in need of our prayers and support. I am not sure what is going on but I know God is ultimately in control.

Black Friday was about two weeks ago. I am saddened by the stories of trampling, pepper spraying, and gunfire all to get a cherished item at a bargain price. At some point don't we have all the video games and electronics that we can use? Haven't these folks got Internet service? Order your stuff from the comfort of your home. If you must go out, use your manners people. Be on your best behavior.

I am going to close for now. I promise to return soon. In the mean time, It is the Christmas season. Christian or not, most folks get caught up in what is a spiritual holiday. Jesus is the reason for the season. Commercialism abounds but the true meaning of the season is giving. Go beyond the gifts and focus on your character. Are you giving your best? God gave us His best. Take a moment to pause and reflect on how far you come and what you have achieved. Did you make a difference? If not, it isn't too late.

In the Spirit of the Season,

Pam

Diva Dialogue-November, 2011

2011-11-09T19:46:00.001-05:00

The news is buzzing! I don't even know where to begin. Let's start with Penn State and their issues. As a graduate of the University of Pittsburgh, Penn State was one of our biggest rivals so imagine my interest in this unfortunate situation. A grand jury indictment has been raised against former defensive coordinator, Jerry Sandusky for allegations which include sexual abuse of eight children over a fifteen year period. I am saddened when any sexual abuse is raised and this situation is no different. I think the fact that so much is focused on Joe Paterno running a clean upstanding athletic program where he stressed moral values and scholastic achievements is overshadowing the real issue which is adults violating children's trust. Paterno has had a long illustrious career. It is safe to say this will be his last year as coach of the Nittany Lions as he announced that he will retire at the close of this season. He did go to the administration with the accusations, the administration chose to cover up the abuse and Paterno is being called on the carpet for not pushing for more action on their part. Given Paterno's level of influence in the Penn State community, I do think he fulfilled his moral obligation but I also feel that given his respected position, he should have advocated for the children involved instead of going forward without questioning the actions of the University. What would you have done is his shoes? Is fulfilling your moral obligation enough?

On a sad note, former Heavyweight champion boxer, Smokin Joe Frazier lost a battle to liver cancer. He was 67 years old. He handed Muhammad Ali his first defeat. Frazier had a devastating left hook and was well respected for his determination and strength. By all accounts, he had a great personality and will be sorely missed by the Philadelphia community where he worked closely with children. As a child, I clearly remember all the hype surrounding the "Thrilla in Manila." It was an awesome fight and your adrenaline got pumping just by watching. I won't even discuss the pre-hype and trash talking that occurred. I am no longer excited by boxing, it simply isn't the same.

On another sad note, rapper Heavy D, age 44, died yesterday. Heavy D was one of my favorite hip hop artists. He had longevity in a field where people don't last very long. Last month, he performed on an award show and the performance was phenomenal. His career began in 1987 with the single, Overweight Lovers in the House. Dwight Myers(Heavy D's Government name) was also an actor. His most recent role was in Tower Heist with Eddie Murphy which was released last week. I am a saddened fan because I loved Heavy D, his rap was clean, catchy, and boy could he dance despite his heavier weight. He came across as sincere and fun loving. Based on the celebrity response, he was all of those things as well as a caring artist and father. Hopefully, heaven has gained an angel.

Last but certainly not least, Conrad Murray was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter in the death of Michael Joseph Jackson. Let's hope that MJ's family can finally find some peace in what is really a tragic situation. Let's face it, we all know MJ needed professional help. I think eventually, MJ would have self destructed. It is a travesty that Conrad Murray didn't take his Hippocratic Oath seriously enough to walk away from the fame of treating a superstar celebrity or to attempt to help him resolve his demons. Murray may not serve more than the 20 days it will take before his sentencing due to overcrowded California prisons. He will never practice medicine in the US again. He is vilified because MJ has remained larger than life even after death and his fans are a loyal and dedicated group. My hubby thinks Murray should leave the States where he'd be in a better position to start over somewhat more anonymously. I feel sorry for him. He was wrong and I think he will pay dearly for his mistake for the rest of his life. The choice to be a doctor is a serious one. The verbiage in the Hippocratic Oath is clear. To be a medical profession in violation of it is dangerous and deadly. I see this as a wake up call for patients and their doctors. We all have a role and with it comes boundaries. It is important to operate within those guidelines to keep us all safe.

I have said a lot and now it is time to close. Life is short. There are a ton of lessons to be learned as we live it. In the case of Penn State, you have to think about the situations from a personal point of view. Would you have reacted the same if it was your son, daughter, or grandchild? I think the same applies to Conrad Murray. Someone has to be bold enough to take a stand. In the case of Joe Frazier and Heavy D, both the hip hop and sports arena have taken serious losses. Both men had warm personalities and were well respected by their peers. Till next time, love life and live it to the fullest.

In Diva Love,

Pam

Marriage is Serious Business

2011-11-06T13:36:00.002-05:00

I figured out why the whole Kim Kardashian marriage thing has pissed me off. First off, I have really strong feelings about the seriousness of marriage. One of my earliest post was, "A Beautiful Wedding does Not a Beautiful Marriage Make." You can check it out here: http://missreaddiva.blogspot.com/2009/09/beautiful-wedding-does-not-beautiful.html.

Marriage is not easy. You take two people with completely different backgrounds and upbringing and you send them off to make a happy life. They stand before God and witnesses and make vows to "love, honor, and cherish in good times and bad." Just like the good times, bad times will come. God didn't promise any of us a lifetime of happiness and when you are looking for another person to provide that happiness, it is a recipe for disaster.

I have been married for fifteen and a half years. Sometimes, even I am shocked that we have lasted this long. LOL! Everyday we both have to choose to see the good in each other and figure out that what we have built together is better than what we can do alone. Some days, neither of us feels up to the challenge. On those days, tension runs deep and attitudes prevail. God already knew what type of people we'd be once sin entered the picture. Love was probably going to be hard enough with out the temptation of sin. Ironically enough, there are so many Bible passages that call us to love. When God makes the command, it is NOT conditional on our feelings or emotions. Let's face it, Jesus met people wherever they were in their stage of life. He met their every need and it didn't matter that he'd been ministering for days at a time with no rest. He didn't judge, nor did He condemn. He just loved on the person in the manner they needed it most, always spiritual, sometimes, emotionally and physically too.

I can attest that the first year of marriage is difficult. No one can fully prepare you for what changes in you will have to result in order for your marriage to work. Even after you have years of marriage under your belt, you still have to work at communicating and compromising. After 72 days, you have done very little bonding, especially if you are spending half that time away from each other and in the public spotlight. I am not judging Kim K but you have to wonder what her motivation to marry really was. I can understand the getting caught up in the fantasy. After all, the whole wedding thing was a public spectacle. Love has its public moments but it really is a private affair.

You have to do the work to build your relationship so that you and your spouse can both be the best of your selves in public and private. Living out love the way God commands, takes some serious prayer and commitment on both individuals part. When Kris Humphries is finding out that his marriage is over from the media, you know that someone wasn't prepared to handle marriage. I mean really. You couldn't give him the courtesy of a personal conversation before going public. Then you are wondering why everyone thinks it is a sham. Let's be mature here.

Readers, if you are thinking about marriage, I can't implore you enough to get professional counseling. A neutral party will give you things to consider about marriage that you may not be thinking of as you try to fulfill your ultimate wedding dreams. A wedding lasts one day, a marriage is supposed to be for life. Don't make the same mistake as Kim and many others. Marriage is serious business. Marriage is not Big Business.

I leave you with what God's Word says about love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (TNIV) states, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.Verse 13 goes on to state, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." It is important to note that love perseveres. Persevere means to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly. Enough said. Till next time, peace.

Leaving you in Diva Love,

Pam

Liebster Award

2011-11-03T20:57:00.000-04:00

I want to personally thank Sporadically Yours for gifting me with this award. I just started following her blog and I absolutely love it. I feel like we'd be friends if we met somewhere. Check her out by clicking the link here www.sporadicpublication.blogspot.com! Now I am returning the favor and passing the love on to several of my favorite bloggers.

The Liebster (German for friend or love) Award spotlights up-and-coming bloggers with less than 200 followers.

FOLLOWING THE RULES

Upon receiving the Liebster Award, you must do the following:

1. Thank the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.

2. Reveal your top 5 picks(I decided on 6) and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

3. Post the award on your blog.

4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the Internet – other writers.

5. Have fun with it!

I read some really REALLY great blogs. Most of the bloggers that I follow are fairly new. They are a varied bunch but all of them are down to earth and fabulous:

Kristin@ www.handbagshairandheels.blogspot.com

Carla@ www.sojourneroftruth.blogspot.com

Laura@ www.lovelifescrap.blogspot.com

Jill@ www.thisismyridiculouslife.wordpress.com

Stephanie@ www.journeytoninevah.blogspot.com
Danette@ www.brichrkha.blogspot.com

You will enjoy every one of the blogs. Trust me, I don't lie!

Thankful, Thankful, Thankful

2011-11-03T20:02:00.000-04:00

We are three days into November which means the season of Thanksgiving is upon us. This is my favorite time of year. For the month of November, I always post something on my Facebook page that I am thankful for each day. It can be great or it can be small but nonetheless, we should all be able to find at least three things that we are truly thankful for each day. It looks like quite a few people are also posting their thankful items each day. It is very rewarding for me to read those post because they point to the fact that some people have some deep stuff going on in their lives.

As a parent of children who are definitely a part of the Entitlement Generation, I still try to impress upon my children the fact that they are better than blessed. They have more than they need and quite a few of their wants. I am happy to say that they do have manners. See my previous post if you are wondering why I point this out. I say this often, on our worst day, we are still more blessed than a whole lot of other people on their best day, especially those in other countries. We should never take anything for granted and gratitude goes a long way with people. Too whom much is given, much is required.

I lift this challenge to you. Take the time to note at least three things that you are thankful for from now till Thanksgiving Day. You don't have to post the list on Facebook, nor do you have to tell a friend. You can meditate on those things and simply express your gratitude. Believe me, focusing on the positive will make you feel good throughout your day. If the day looks like it might go wrong, go back and reflect on those things again. Every morning, I sing, "Count your blessings, name them one by one!" I hope you will rise to the challenge. Feel free to share your experience with me! Till next time, be blessed and be a blessing. Someone needs you this holiday season and you probably don't have to look to far to bless them. Ciao!

Diva Digression-October, 2011

2011-10-31T20:38:00.001-04:00

For the first year ever, I chose to give out the candy instead of caravan through the neighborhood with my children on Halloween. Normally, hubby gives out the candy. In our subdivision, Halloween is highly celebrated. I am not a fan, but have given in to the pressure and let my kids participate. Let me issue a short PSA......people please teach your children basic manners. "Please" and "Thank You" are essential to every day living. It really is a simple tenant that should have begun the moment you began to teach your children to talk. If you don't have/use manners, make it a part of your daily living. I mean seriously, rude adults create rude children. Please do this for me! I thank you in advance!

People Pimping the American public........Right now, I am highly irritated that I keep seeing the Madoff family everywhere promoting their book. You may feel wronged by Bernie but have you no compassion for the people he left in financial ruin. You lived high off the hog long enough. We don't care about your story. Right now many people are barely making it and frankly, I don't think they give a damn about your plight. I may be wrong but it is my honest opinion.

Next on the chopping block is Kim Kardashian. You have been married for 72 days and you are filing for divorce. Really? Every time I turn on my television, you are out, without your husband. How can you make a marriage work when you are never together? Oh, I am sorry, you really did it for the financial payoff, didn't you? In this paparazzi driven society, you were well compensated for your wedding photos. I bet you didn't have to shell out a dime for anything because your name alone could get you over(Whew! I am having a Star Jones flashback). So my question is this, will you be returning your gifts? I mean it is only right since you will not be setting up a house and filling it with love and memories.

Finally, I am calling out the NBA athletes. Basketball is one of my favorite sports. Every one of you make more money in a year than many will see in a lifetime. Do you really need 51% of the owners profits? If you got those funds, are you gonna do something to make a difference in the lives of others? Yes, I know some of you do lots of charitable things but you also live extravagant lifestyles. Your love of money seems to be trumping your love of the game. Do you all ever think about the fans? You entertain, you don't teach. In other words, in the grand scheme of things, we can take or leave you. Your impact on the world is not that serious.

That's it for now! The year is winding down. Tomorrow, we enter the season of Thanksgiving. Take a moment each day and list at least 3 things that you are thankful for! You are so blessed and sometimes we are all guilty of forgetting that very fact. Till next time, be a blessing!

Copyright October 31, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Energy

2011-10-26T19:41:00.000-04:00

When you enter a room, you bring a certain kind of energy in with you. That energy is either negative or positive. Guess who controls that energy? You got it! You do! I know we don't consciously think about what we bring into a room as we go through a door, but what if we all paused to think about it. Maybe we could change the energy in a particular place. I could write a whole lot about you being in control and all that jazz but I am more focused on a different idea with the same concept.

Did ever pause to think about the fact that you control the energy that you surround yourself with? I think about it often. It really is true. God knew it because it says in 1 Corinthians 15:33," Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character." (NIV) So birds of a feather really do flock together. Sometimes, you have to purge people. It is so much easier to purge things, but with people, feelings and emotions get involved.

If you find that you are around a bunch of people who suck your energy, you need to change company. You might need to take a good look in the mirror. We live in a world where people are hooked on electronic devices, not phonics; where fast food reigns supreme; where broken hearts go unmended. The list could go on and on. If your energy is positive, it does impact the people you come into contact with. I say it all the time be a blessing. Lately, I have added, smile. Blessing someone with a smile can do wonders for a soul. You never know whose soul you may touch. So before you walk through that next door, think about what you bring into that space. You can change it up by turning that frown upside down! My name is Pamela, and I approve this message!! LOL! Peace!

Copyright October 26, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

A Moment of Clarity

2011-10-22T16:13:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, I have so much on my mind that I want to share that I shut down and don't share a thing. Other times, I have something very heavy and pressing on my heart but still can't express it tactfully or with out hurting some one's feelings. Again, I don't share. I have decided that I am going to write more and free myself of having to have a topic simply because it is cathartic for me. The call for me to write is for me, to free my mind, and ease my pain, share some insight, encourage a friend, and to work through my issues. Consider yourself warned, I may only have a sentence or two to share but I am still passionate about food, travel, parenting, marriage, and books. I am still not short on my opinion on a wide range of current and past historical events. Remember, this is my therapy. While this vehicle is mine, I do want to be sensitive to my family, friends, and readers. That being said, today I just want to encourage anyone reading this and feeling some kinda way.

Life really is a series of ups and downs, many of them out of our control. We can't can't control people, nor can we control circumstances. Sometimes we have to surrender our agendas. Sometimes we have to forgive. At others, we have to forget. And still others, we have to change our minds and our hearts. No matter what you are forced to do, remember, life is simply a journey and God has already written the plan. Psalm 30:5 states, "For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning."(NKJV) Morning always comes. With the dawning of a new day, we have the opportunity to see a situation through fresh eyes and begin anew. Don't let anyone steal that from you. Till next time, have a great weekend!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on October 22, 2011

Are You Really Mine?

2011-10-13T17:07:00.002-04:00

Have you ever looked at your children or the children in your life and wondered where the hell they came from? Well I have been having those moments quite often lately. My children make me scratch my head in wonder. They are opinionated. They are fearless. They have ideas and values that don't line up with what we have taught them. Who are these minis and where did they come from? Are they really mine or did the hospital send me home with the wrong babies?

All I can say is this happens more and more frequently. It makes me shudder and step up my prayer life. I am preparing these children and eventually they are gonna be unleashed on the world. Will they be viable productive contributors to society? It is part of my daily thought life.

The story of the Prodigal Son gives me hope. Right now, I wouldn't classify my children as prodigals but the possibility exists that they could one day fall into this category. Some of the words that escape their lips scare me. Yet, I remain hopeful. Why? Because the Bible tells me so. Proverbs 22:6 states, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." (NKJV)

We as parents, aunts, uncles, godparents or grandparents can only impart wisdom and knowledge. We must do it consistently and continuously. Hopefully, when our babies lose their minds, as they inevitably will, they will always be drawn back to the solid lessons and foundation that you have raised them upon. Eventually, they will be productive members of society. You have to do your part and let God handle the rest. After all, it is all His business, not ours. Till next time, smile and bless someone else!!

Copyright October 12, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Stranger Danger

2011-10-06T19:43:00.001-04:00

This past weekend, my husband and I went to Cancun on a more business than pleasure trip. We left our children at home with my mother. In other words, they were in good hands in our absence. It was a brief trip. For some odd reason, I requested prayer from my Bible study Leadership team and my Moms In Touch group. They are prayer warriors but I tend not to make lots of public requests. I asked them to pray for my children's safety and a good time to be had with their grandmother, whom they don't see enough.

Well I thank God that I lifted the requests. On Friday, my son, a 5th grader, was walking to school alone. Our house is less than 500 feet from the school but you have to walk to the end of the street which is a cul-de-sac and then over a hill and you are in the school parking lot. He noticed a car sitting in the cul-de-sac. As he approached, a Caucasian male in his 20s in a bronze car asked him if he needed a ride and told him to get in the car. He said, "No!" and ran away. He immediately went to his teacher and told her what happened. The local police were notified and a report was made. All adults involved made sure my son was okay and commended him for handling the situation properly.

If you know my son, he is very laid back. He is not a fan of too much attention. Needless to say that we have tightened the reins on him and he is not happy. C'est la vie! My point in all of this is that God knew all of of this would occur. The outcome could have been much worse. Don't be afraid to pray nor should you be afraid to ask for prayer. I don't have any problems making prayer requests but I tend to be private and not put too much out there. I don't know why I felt led to make a requests. Well, let's change that. The Holy Spirit prompted me to do it and I was obedient. The effective, fervent prayer of the righteous man avails much. (ref. James 5:16, NKJV) God hears and He protects.

Make sure your children know how to handle such occurrences. My son can NEVER walk alone again. He, of course, thinks we are crazy. Gotta love fearless children. Teach your children about being aware of their surroundings and what to do if a stranger approaches them. I commended my son that he ran over the hill to school instead of coming back home. Also, he was praised for having a good description of the person in the car. He does have a cell phone with a locator. He said he felt scared but he knew what to do and he knew he could run fast. Again, childlike naivete. I know God was in the details and I know prayers matter. If you have praying people in your circle, utilize them! Thanking God that my son is safe and also thanking God for His sovereignty.

Copyright October 6, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Ordered Affairs

2011-09-22T19:41:00.002-04:00

Lately I have been giving a lot of thought to having ones affairs in order. I in no way have really done what I feel is necessary in that regard and it is weighing heavily on my heart. It got me to wondering about my family and closest friends. Have you got your affairs in order if something were to happen to you? I feel guilty because I have children and I think it is a disservice not to have my wishes in writing. I know what I want to happen if something happens to me and my hubby but I haven't really shared that info with anyone. You know when you are young, you tend to think that you will live forever. As you mature, you realize that life is short and time is precious.

My brother, like my dad, is clear about his desire to be cremated. My husband has always said that he wants to be cremated and have his ashes thrown into the ocean. Honestly, those discussions used to freak me out. Now, I am okay with it. I understand more fully the desire to be cremated, especially as we move further and further away from our families. I think a lot about being buried in a city and my kids moving away but possibly worrying about visiting our gravesites. Not a great thought and not a stress that I wanna put on them.

My mom lives six hours away. She is even farther from my brother. I worry about her. We haven't really discussed her desires if something should happen. I know where her important papers and stuff are. All her friends are there but her children aren't. So you can see why there is some level of anxiety. These are difficult discussions to have yet they are very necessary. So I am challenging you, if you haven't already done it, to share your desires with your loved ones or put it in writing. Yes, I am going to follow my own advice. Don't forget that you should include things like whether you are an organ donor or what to do if you are in a vegetative state and things of that nature. Yea, I know it is quite a bit to think about. So I am done. Gotta get busy with my paln so no one is burdened trying to figure out my wishes. I know it is kind of depressing but do it! Ciao!!!

Copyright September 22, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Guest Blog:Gerald Cole

2011-09-22T09:03:00.002-04:00

These are Gerald's words from a FB post. Gerald is my younger brother who is never short of opinion. Yea, I guess that runs in the family. These are his words which I did not get permission to use but I am sure he won't mind. He wrote this in response to the state of Georgia's controversial decision to execute Troy Davis despite mounting evidence that could possibly have proven him innocent. Please comment. I'd love to hear your views on the subject.

AmeriKKKa has a deep-rooted history of racism and oppression of people of color in not only this nation but all over the world. It should come as no surprise that the state of Georgia would deny Troy Davis a stay of execution at this late hour. To do so would lift the veil of deceit, corruption, racism and racial prejudice that continues to exist not only in Georgia but all across this great nation we live in. I'm not appalled or shocked. AmeriKKKa has a history of killing our people unjustly through mob violence, lynchings and outright murder and now with the death penalty they do it outwardly and openly with no fear of repercussion. We've marched, wrote letters, emails, sent texts, protested and raised our voices in protests only to fall on the deaf ears of our so-called leaders and representatives in the justice system. Despite the mounting evidence that the police lied, tampered with evidence and used threats and coercison against witnesses in order to wrongly convict Troy Davis, the Supreme Court denied his just due and right to a fair trial in this country.

When I think of all the brave men and women that serve to protect the sovereignty and freedoms we have in America that are really limited at best to some of us due to the color of our skin, yet we sacrifice our lives for the freedom of those abroad to have access to a freedom and democracy we have yet to fully realize for ourselves right here at home, it sickens me. This country is the greatest country on Earth, yet it has so-many "in-house" problems it can't seem to resolve. The race issue is not dead, yet many would like to dismiss blatantly racial issues and say, "Oh, stop playing the race card." Yet, you have psychologist, and criminal profilers claiming that blacks are more likely to commit certain crimes after rehabilitation than other groups, blacks are more prone to commit violent acts than others and then use these prejudiced statements as basis for not only convictions but denials of parole, clemency and other processes that may exonerate not only the wrongly accused but those that have served their time for the crimes that they committed years ago.

Tonight we should all pray and come together for not just understanding but come together as a voice to these so-called politicians that are supposed to represent our interests. We need legislation proposed to end the Death Penalty, impose a real checks and balance of these police stations that doctor up evidence and make unlawful arrests, clean up the corruption within the highest ranks of police departments, eliminate the collusion between defense attornies and district attornies that plea bargain away the lives, hopes and dreams of innocent men and women of ALL RACES across this great nation. Somebody has to be accountable for this injustice, somebody has to be willing to stand up against it...I am. Are you? (Truly Saddened, Gerald Cole)

Copyright September 22, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Be True To Yourself Tag

2011-09-19T22:50:00.001-04:00

How big is your bed? King sized
What are you listening to right now? Nothing
What was the last thing you ate? Lasagna, salad, applesauce
Last person you hugged? My son
How is the weather right now? Cool night
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Tracie
What is the first thing you notice in the opposite sex? Eyes and smile
Favourite type of food? Seafood and soul food
Do you want children? I have 2 and I will NOT be having anymore.
Do you drink? Occasionally
Ever get so drunk you don’t remember the entire night? No
Hair colour? Sandy brown with many grey strands
Eye colour? Hazel
Do you wear contacts/glasses? Both
Favorite holiday? Thanksgiving
Favorite season? Autumn
Have you ever cried over a girl/boy? Yes
Last movie you watched? The Adjustment Bureau
What books are you reading? The Sweetest Thing and Home-Court Advantage
Piercings? Ears
Favorite movie? Love and Basketball, Shawshank Redemption, Brown Sugar
Favorite college football team? Gonna go with the Pittsburgh Panthers
What were you doing before filling this out? Writing a blog
Any pets? Not any more!
Dogs or cats? Dogs
Favorite flower? Calla lillies
Have you ever loved someone? Yes
Who would you like to see right now? Mother and Grandmother
Have you ever fired a gun? Yes
Do you like to travel by plane? Yes
Right-handed or Left-handed? Right-handed.
If you could go to any place right now where would you go? Rio or Aruba
Are you missing someone? Yes
Do you have a tattoo? Nope
Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? Only if my son forces me to
Are you hiding something from someone? Always got at least one secret
What do you do before you go to bed? Reflect and pray.

Well now, you just learned a little more about wonderful me! Yea you! Good night!

God has My Back

2011-09-19T22:06:00.002-04:00

Earlier today someone asked me what songs could summarize my life right now. One of my choices was a song by Kurt Carr called "For Every Mountain." The lyrics are as follows, "I've got so much to thank God for. So many blessings and so many open doors. A brand new mercy. Along with each new day. That's why I praise You. For this I give you praise. Chorus: For waking me up this morning.That's why I praise You. For starting me on my way. That's why I praise You. For letting me see the sunlight of a brand new day. A brand new mercy along with each new day. That's why I praise You. For this I give You praise. For every mountain You brought me over. For every trial you've seen me through For every blessing. Hallelujah for this I give you praise." Whenever I hear it, it touches my soul.

I love music, especially gospel music. It is an integral part of my worship and praise experience. That song is always a gentle reminder that God can carry me through any and every problem. It also reminds me that just waking up and beginning a new day is in fact a blessing. The main fact though is that God has brought me through each and every trial. Some trials are mountains and others are molehills. In many of those trials, I felt alone and quite a bit of despair. Sometimes I could pray my way through but I am not afraid to have others intercede for me.

Life ain't easy and no two days are the same. No matter what, God never changes. His Word doesn't change. Nothing I experience as an individual is new to Christ. It is important that I focus my eyes on Him. People can and will fail you but He doesn't. On my worse day, it still isn't a horrible day. I never know how most of my issues/problems will work themselves out but God knows and He cares. He doesn't always work them the way I think He will but in every situation/circumstance, He reveals something about me and I learn something about Him and His character. In every case, I end up being just fine. I don't know who reads my blogs, nor do I know who has a relationship with Christ. What I do know is this, for me, a day without Christ would be extremely messed up. I have read the Bible from cover to cover on several occasions and every time, God shows me something new and different. Every experience grows me up and matures me. I have by no means arrived. I just trust that the Master's plan is the best plan for me. So please be encouraged. You too can make it through. Hopefully you have God on your side and in your life. Then you can join me in singing......till next time, Be blessed and of course be a blessing! Peace!

Copyright September 19, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Diva Dialogue-September, 2011

2011-09-07T16:48:00.003-04:00

So I have a few minutes so I thought I'd whip out a blog. Hey, y'all! School started yesterday. I now have a high schooler and a 5th grader. Time flies when you have children. My grandmother told me that long ago and of course she is correct.

So there are quite a few things going on. First and foremost, the GOP presidential candidates are trying to gear up for what is going to be a long dreaded race. I am so not feeling that. Obama has a fight on his hands with one of those ~~fools~~ folks. Here's my opinion, Obama has been soft and the public is pissed. They hate the health care plan, there are still few new jobs, and most are hoping for a different type of change. Congress has been hard and unyielding. Frankly, I am sure they can care less what their constituents desire as long as they have yet another chance to disagree with the POTUS. I think it is time for Obama to take a hard stance on something and follow it through. I really want him to have a Southside Chicago moment but America would then label him an angry Black man and we definitely don't need that.

Normally, I don't watch the Oscars but this year, I just might. Eddie Murphy has been selected to host the event. I am kinda intrigued by that. He is an impressive comedian who I think can be edgy but not rub folks the wrong way like Piers Morgan did. We'll see! Only time can tell. I will tune it and see what I think for myself. Hopefully, this year will include some movies that people actually go to see and enjoy.

So Beyonce is preggers. Do we care? I think not. I am happy for her and Jay-Z. Let's hope the baby gets the best of both of them. When I think about it, that baby could turn out to be not very cute. Let's hope it gets the best of the talent pool too.

I am cynical about Hollywood marriages. I hope Jada and Will don't come out in a couple of weeks talking about their marriage is over ala Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. Rumor has it that Jada and Marc had an affair. My question is this, if you have an open marriage, can you really have an affair? IMHO, Marc Anthony is not attractive. He looks kinda dirty to me. Oh and for those of you who don't know, Hawthorne was cancelled.

Kate Gosselin is job hunting. Any takers? TLC finally cancelled her lame show and no she has to find a legit gig to take care of her eight children. Ex-spouse, Jon, is probably very happy since being on television was detrimental to his kid's normalcy. As if they could be normal with such crazy parents.

Shaunie O'Neal should be ashamed of herself. I don't watch either of her shows but let's face it, they are crap. None of the so called Basketball Wives are in fact, wives. Oh I forgot, you can be a former wife, a groupie, or a baby mama and qualify. Makes me wanna holler! I know I expected Shaunie to produce a more classy show and held her to a standard that she obviously didn't deserve. Shaunie is prostituting those women and they are desperate enough to let her. She sits back and chills while they make complete fools of themselves. Why? because she is getting paid, that's why. Diva lesson for the day: Never sell your soul for the Almighty Dollar!

Okay that is it for now. Real random, right? I know I am sorry, it just had to come out. On a more serious note, in a few days, it will be the tenth anniversary of 9/11. There are quite a few television remembrances being shown. If you weren't affected, be thankful. If you were, my heart and prayers go out to you. Let's all reflect and remember the lessons that we have learned as a result of that day. America is a strong country and we move on, but we are ultimately shaped by everything that takes place in our conveluted history. Till next time, peace and blessings!

Copyright September 7, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

The MLK, Jr. Memorial

2011-08-28T10:43:00.000-04:00

Today (the 48th anniversary of the very famous, "I Have A Dream" speech) was supposed to be the dedication of the Martin Luther King, Jr. National Memorial. Unfortunately, due to Hurricane Irene, those festivities will be rescheduled for a future time. The MLK Memorial opened to the public on August 22, 2011 in Washington, D.C. The location of the Memorial is southwest of the National Mall near the Roosevelt Memorial and the scenic Tidal Basin. The official address is 1964 Independence Ave. SW to commemorate the year other Civil Rights Act of 1964 was signed into legislation. MLK, JR. is one of only four non-presidents to receive such an honor near the National Mall.

The Memorial was a direct result of the efforts of King's own fraternity, Alpha Phi Alpha, Inc. for leading a 25 year campaign to have the Memorial erected. They are largely responsible for leading the efforts to raise the $120 million dollars to fund the project. Construction began in December, 2009 and the press was given a first look a year later. The Memorial consists of a 30 foot high "Stone of Hope" which is an actual replica of Dr. King himself, who appears to be looking out over the Tidal Basin at the Jefferson Memorial. It is fitting to note that the cherry blossoms will be in full bloom during the anniversary of King's death. The "Stone of Hope" stands just past two other granite pieces which symbolize, "the mountain of despair." King's speech included the line: "Out of a mountain of despair, a stone of hope." As a visitor, one would have to pass through" the mountain of despair" to get to the "stone of hope," a symbolic reference to King's struggle throughout his life. In addition to these, there is a 450 foot inscription wall which includes excerpts from King's sermons and speeches delivered between 1955 when the Montgomery Bus Boycott occurred and his final "I Have A Dream" speech in 1968, delivered four days before his assassination.

The space was envisioned as a quiet peaceful place and will include 24 niches along the upper walkway to also commemorate the contributions of others who gave their lives to the civil rights movement. Some have been left blank and incomplete so that as other individuals are honored, they can be added. It will enhance a visitor's ability to reflect on the great contributions and legacy of Dr. King. Of course the hope and intent is that a the memorial will be a public sanctuary that can be enjoy by future generations regardless of race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender.

While the celebrity studded festivities had to be cancelled and many were very disappointed, it is important to note that the monument is open. It took 25 years of fundraising and fighting but it came to fruition. I can't wait to visit with my children. I am sure we will be moved and touched by the sheer magnitude of the memorial. More importantly, it will give us an opportunity to reflect on Dr. King's contribution to our current lifestyle and how far we have come in such a short period of time. We do still have a long way to go as far as race relations are concerned(and you can't argue with me on that point because I lived in southern Georgia so I know from personal experience). It will also give me yet another opportunity to instill in them a deeper sense of duty to be a responsible and conscientious citizen who champions freedom and democracy. So my friends, if you are in the DC area, go visit. If you aren't, put it on your list of things to see when you visit the area. Whether you embraced Dr. King and his philosophies or not, you have been impacted by his dream to see the civil right of ALL individuals realized.

Earthquakes and Hurricanes, Oh My!!!

2011-08-25T18:20:00.000-04:00

Completely Random-I survived an earthquake!!! By now everyone should know that there was an earthquake on Tuesday that originated in Mineral, VA a mere 67 miles away from me. Yes, I felt it. It measured 5.9 on the Richter Scale. I was at work. Can you imagine the looks on the faces of two year old children who had just awakened from a good nap. PRICELESS! There were several aftershocks which I have not felt. The most recent one occurred last night at 1:07 AM. It measured 4.1 but I slept through that. No damage was sustained and all my loved ones are okay. God is good. I understand both of my children were quite rattled. I only wish I had been home to console and reassure them.

As of this moment, we are watching the path of Hurricane Irene. I feel bad because I have several friends who are vacationing in the Outer Banks and are having to evacuate their little piece of heaven to avoid the potential danger of the storms, which as of this morning had winds of up to 135 MPH. We have already begun to get the rain. All of these natural occurrences should make you believe there is a God. He is in control. We can't prepare for any earthquake and we never know which way a hurricane will blow.

Life is short. Love your family and hold them close(yes, even when they get on your nerves). Tell them you love them as often as possible. Have a plan for any disasters. The worst thing that can happen is not knowing that those you love are okay and safe. Cell phones will fail and so will land lines as the earthquake proved. You may not have access to the Internet but you do need to know your peeps are safe. So develop a plan that takes these thing into consideration. Heed my advice, we are seeing more and more natural disasters than ever before so we can't say what we will or won't experience. Peace!

Copyright August 25, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Diva Digression

2011-08-25T17:50:00.000-04:00

Yes, this something new. I am calling it "Diva Digression." This will be the forum I use to vent. I will try to keep these to a minimum but hey, sometimes life hands you lemons and not only do you make lemonade but you might have to pour it in a glass and throw it in some one's face. I hope you like my choice of titles.

Today's rant is on double-minded individuals. The one that has caused this angst is my boss. The reader's Digest short version is this. She is a marketer, not an administrator and therefore my place of work is always in a state of confusion and chaos. She chooses to please her vocal parents and undervalues her dedicated employees. I work at a Montessori school, which I will leave nameless, since I don't know who reads my blog. New employees are thrown into the mix with little or no training and left to learn the ropes on their own or from older employees who had to do the same thing.My boss's gift is doing the opposite of what her employees request or need.

Case and point, my co-worker changed her schedule for the summer with the expectation that she'd return to her old schedule in the Fall. Well her old schedule has been given to the boss's daughter(yes, nepotism is alive and well in America) and she is being forced to reduce her hours and work a different shift. I went in to interview for an office position and was given a position working in the classroom with children. Another employee wanted to work in the classroom and is working in the office. I was always clear that I wanted a part-time schedule between 9:30 AM and 4 PM. I worked Full-time all summer and now I am being told that my request may not be able to be accommodated. In June, I was promised and assured that I would be able to work those hours in the fall.

So what is a girl to do? I am irritated to say the least. Hence this blog. I could go on and on about how poorly things are managed at work but I will not. I need to pursue my passion. My aunt Dorothy will call me and tell me, "Girl, you know you need to write that book so you can become independently wealthy. You know you don't like that job(or them nasty kids) anyway." Well she is honest and on point. So I am requesting your prayers and encouragement, life is too short to sweat the small stuff. Pray that God will put the exact book on my heart and it will flow out of me. I know I can't write a book unless that happens. When I write a blog, it usually flows out of me with little or no editing. The exception are blogs of a sensitive nature. They too flow but I do revise them so as not to alienate anyone. If that is not His will at this time, I am okay with that. I do need Him to open a door for me though because I have gotten used to the money. Till the next time that I need to digress...Peace and blessings to each of you. Oh and tell a friend to check the blog out! Ciao!!

Copyright August 25, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

The Help

2011-08-22T08:55:00.002-04:00

On last Sunday, I went to see the highly controversial film, THE HELP, with my cousin and my BFF. If you recall, it was one of my favorite books last summer. So you know I was anxious to view the film and see whether it adhered to the book. The film met my lofty expectations and I daresay that I enjoyed it as much as the book. It was one of the best adaptations that I've seen in a long time. Whenever I see a racially charged movie and I don't feel like I need to avoid Caucasians so I won't fight them, the movie is done well. I didn't leave the film with any hatred so that is a good thing. For those of you who read me but don't know me, Yes! I have a large contingent of Caucasian girlfriends and several of them are very close friends.

I am guessing that several of the actresses will be nominated for awards. I have to say that my favorite performances were given by Octavia Spencer and Sissy Spacek. They brought their characters to life in a real and inspiring way. Viola Davis does a phenomenal job as Abilene and she too deserves an award. I am wary of the folks who nominate for the Oscars, so I suspect she may be dissed. It was hard not to love most of the women but I felt no love for the Hilly character. Bryce Dallas Howard did an excellent job as the racist socialite trying to bully all her friends into submitting to her negative ways.

As is the norm, the film did leave out some things that the book covered. One of the things that I think was missing was the depth of Abilene's pain over losing her son. I felt it more deeply when I read the novel and my heart ached for her. I am very glad that very little coverage of Minnie's husband and his abusive ways were left out of the story. I think it was a very intelligent move on the scriptwriter's part. Can you imagine if they had put an African American man on the screen beating his woman? All hell would break loose. Just look at the flack that Tyler Perry receives for his portrayal of men in his films and he is African American. The move was intelligent so that that could not be the thing focused on once the film was viewed publicly. Another thing that was downplayed in the film was just how much control and power that Hilly had over her contemporaries. I also think that Elizabeth Leefolt, Abilene's employer, was not quite portrayed as the social climber that she was in the book.

After talking to Dorna, she indicated that she didn't think the original question was answered. "How did you feel raising white folks children and having to neglect (for lack of a better word) your own?" There is no real answer to that, is there? Who would actually say,"Yea, I really enjoyed taking care of these children who will eventually become my boss and treat me like crap while I left my own kids to fend for themselves." The real answer lies in the fact that African American women have and had been doing it for years. There was little choice in the matter if they wanted to be able to make any money. Of course we all know that this whole phenomena originated with slavery. I refuse to give any press to that whole bogus institution that oppressed a whole race of people with the notion that it was biblically based.

While I enjoyed the film and the book, I am very aware of race and race issues. Always have been and probably always will be. America has so far to go in really coming to terms with race. I would love to see a day when we don't have to wonder if there is a racial undertone or connotation to what is going on. The role of race does NOT diminish because I have Caucasian friends. I am still an African American woman whose life experiences have been shaped by race, politics and economics. My experiences are not profound nor do I think they are unique.

If you talked to my grandmother, she would have something completely different to say. She did work for Caucasian people. I don't think she was mistreated but she never let the people she worked for know her business. She was afraid for them to know what she had(2 homes, 2 cars, money in the bank, etc) and that she didn't need their handouts. It is funny to me now but it was irritating when I was younger. I am sure it pissed my mom and her sisters off too. I guess she knew something we might not have been privy to. I am sure she would have hated seeing The Help, too. I guess something about being a part of that history does not allow you to relax about the hurt and pain from that period of time. My grandmother is 97 years old.

Now, with all that being said and me not giving anything away, I hope you will see the film and read the book. Let me know what you think of both. Let me know what you think of this blog. I am always going to keep it real. Sometimes the truth is hard to digest. Remember, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important."(Abilene~The Help)

Copyright August 22, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Diva Dialogue-August, 2011

2011-08-07T21:43:00.000-04:00

We had an awesome time on the Carnival Dream! the people we met, the ports we visited were beautiful. St. Thomas remains my favorite place. And no, I was not the recipient of a lovely piece of jewelry. You know the deals there are fantastic! Liquor deals are the best there too! LOL!I am sufficiently tan and returned relaxed. The FUNship was full of folks-about 800 children and a total of about 3500 passengers in all, with a staff of about 1300. Can you believe that-a small city floating in the ocean! Okay so it wasn't my first cruise. Some things had changed but not necessarily for the better. My chief complaints would be that the quality of food had declined some. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't memorable. Our best meal was had at the Steakhouse for which we had to pay an additional surcharge.I confess, we are foodies. My other complaint would be that the staff was not as friendly as my first cruise. They were not rude just really subdued. Anyhoo, if I choose to cruise again, I would like to try a different cruise line. I am thinking Norwegian, no dress codes and no assigned meal times. Next year we are going to an all inclusive resort somewhere. My mind is already drifting to the possibilities! Can you tell that I live for vacations? LOL!

When you vacation is over, it is over! Going back to work is a serious reality check, no matter how much fun your vacation was or how relaxed you got. I returned to work with no shortage of stories of exactly how much drama occurred. Let's just say that after a week and a half, I am already trying to figure out when I can schedule a few days off. BTW, before I returned to work, we took in 2 films. We saw Transformers and Harry Potter 7. I wasn't feeling the Transformers. In fact, it down right bored me. I loved the final installment of HP7. JK Rowling should be very pleased. As a fan, I felt the movie held to the story. It was an excellent adaptation and a fitting end to a great coming of age story. On Wednesday, The Help comes out. It is highly anticipated by most everyone who has read the book. I am looking forward to seeing it with my girls.

Last week, my son went a way to Boy Scout camp. It was his first time away from home with no family. I was excited for this milestone in his life. He was fearfully excited. Boy, was my house quiet. I missed his unexpected hugs and random history facts. His sister missed picking on him. I did use the week to bond with my daughter. She went to work with me everyday. She realized why I come home frustrated too. She fell in love with the babies and by the end of the week had kicked me and my 2 year olds to the curb. My son returned home, dirty and smelly. He had a great week of hiking, archery, and learning to load and shoot a BB gum. He informed that they "made me eat healthy everyday." When asked if he'd do it again, his reply was that he would but he'd need at least six months to adjust to being back at home. I, of course, burst out laughing. You have to know that my son is most content when everyone is under one roof and preferably all in the same room.

Okay, work is getting in the way of my real life. I am praying for some changes, big and small, to take place sooner, rather than later. I haven't had much energy to blog. I haven't completed a blog on meanness. It is necessary and I will finish it soon. Not only have I not been blogging but I haven't done a great deal of reading either. Both of which tend to keep me sane. For now my stress relief is in the form of Angry Birds, Words With Friends, and my newly discovered game, Hanging With Friends. Honestly, today is the first time I have gotten on my computer since my vacation other than to pay bills. I play all the games on my Ipod. All that said, please lift me in your prayers. I am praying about work, the provision of a reasonably priced vehicle, and for some other issues that I have entrusted to the Lord. I am not stressed just feeling off about a few things. So till next time I feel like logging on to my computer long enough to type, remember that I appreciate you all. I am in a strange place of reflection but not feeling the need to share. Another reason for the limited amount of blogs. Hopefully the writer's block will go away and I will get back to my place of normal. Ciao!!!

Copyright on August 7, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

The Silence of a Break-up (Dorna's opinion)

2011-07-13T22:26:00.000-04:00

It has been a while since I have posted a guest blog. Dorna had something on her mind that she wanted to share. See, not only am I negligent about my own posting but also those of my friends. Feel free to comment and let us know if you agree or disagree or simply have another take on the situation.

When you enter into a relationship, you don’t do so with the thought of breaking up. The beginning is so filled with promise; all singing bluebirds, flowers and starry eyes!! How can you think of a relationship ending when everyone is on their best behavior…working to impress each other…lustful potential in the air! Basically, hormones are generally running the show and they have no idea what a breakup means.

So, people sail blissfully down Rio Relationship, hands trailing in the swell of emotion in seemingly calm water. They begin to share in guarded communication, which becomes more open about seemingly everything! Trust begins to forge, the giddiness is overwhelming!! They become convinced that the next step absolutely has to happen…and sex happens!!

Now the act has been committed and you find there are some things that weren’t shared or shown or overlooked. Like the need for attention and communication for her and the need to be private and taciturn for him. Both people started out filling these needs because they were in the impression stage, but now the true natures are beginning to emerge. Shifting on both parts occur, but it gets harder to fulfill or accept the other one’s needs.

Communication becomes more strained and less frequent. Conjecture and assumptions become the norm and lead to hurt or angry feelings. Both parties know something is wrong, but won’t admit it and only skirt the issue. They both keep down a path they know is not good but to truly communicate about it is not going to happen. The silences become more frequent and longer until one day there is nothing but silence!!

“What the hell? Is he really not going to call me?” “It’s been two weeks and I haven’t heard from her…hmmm!” “Oh, I wish I would call his ass, I haven’t done anything to him!!” “She must be really pissed…she’ll get over it.” These dialogues continue until months have passed and still…silence!! The silence doesn’t give closure or answers…it just is!! The breakup has come and no one knew it would look so abrupt…so confusing…so LOUDLY QUIET!! And one question screaming in the silence…What happened?

Copyright July 13, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Bon Voyage!!!

2011-07-13T22:11:00.000-04:00

Today, my vacation officially began at 5:07 P.M. Yea me! And yes, I am doing a happy dance. I am so in need of the time AWAY from my place of employment. I also need the time to connect with my family. Did I say how excited I was to be off work? On a side note, upon my return from this wonderful vacation, I am purposing to seek new employment and to get serious about my weight loss.

I know I have been real selfish with my blogging of late. I forgot how hard it is to cram so much into an already jammed day. Work gets in the way of fun! LOL! Can you tell that I was meant to be independently wealthy? Ahh but I digress! I don't have writer's block. I am irritable so I know I need to be blogging and working my issues out on you. I really do always have a lot of things on my mind. So hopefully, I will be a better steward of my time and get back on my grind. For now, I am off to see the wizard. Just kidding! I am off to bond with my family and we are going to enjoy Charleston, SC, Port Canaveral, FL, and Savannah, GA. We will be cruising to Nassau, Bahamas, St. Thomas(my absolute favorite place), and St. Marteen. If you really know me, please remember to wish DJ a "Happy Birthday!!" tomorrow! He will become a double digit midget. Can't believe he will be 10 already! Of course I will give you all a full report upon my return. I will also post a blog on why people have become so mean and whatever else I deem necessary to discuss.

So good bye for now. I will be back soon. I will miss you all. Be safe! Be blessed and most of all be a blessing!!!

Copyright July 13, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Diva Dialogue-July, 2011th

2011-07-01T23:08:00.001-04:00

Okay, my life has changed and my time is so limited that I haven't been doing the things that I love. I have neglected my blog and perhaps that is why I have been soooo emotional lately. I have been a little irritable too. I am going to blame that on the sleep apnea that I was surprised to find out that I had. I will explain sleep apnea in another post. I try to continuously remind you all that this blog is my therapy and I work my issues out on you, my loyal readers. That being said, I am just going to be random. It is also cathartic.

Right now, I am counting down the days till vacation! Yea me! Yea us, my happy little family! We are escaping the overly busy home front and going to chillax in the tropical Caribbean seas. I can't wait. I have been working full time and apparently it no longer suits me. It may not be the case but I probably need to be doing something more fulfilling. By the way it is 13 days till departure. I will tell you all about the cruise upon my return. Last year, I kept hearing and reading about staycations. Let me just say that that would not be a good option for my family. We need to get away to connect and regroup. We return refreshed with a new attitude and a freshness to tackle life.

I can't believe that my daughter will enter high school in the Fall. Time flies. After all the school drama, she completed the 8th grade with excellent grades. Let's note that I didn't see any more effort on her part this semester, so I know I am right in saying that she should have been making the Honor Roll every single semester. My son will complete his final year of elementary school. He too completed the year with flying colors. Now it is time to impress upon the girl child the importance of her grades and extra-curricular activities. Gotta get into college and hopefully secure some scholarship money.

If you have an Ipod/Ipad/Iphone, you should be playing Angry Birds and Angry Birds Rio. Both games are highly addictive. The game is senseless, in that you are aiming a bird of some type at other animals. There is a little background story which I won't explain but trust me, you will keep trying it once you start. The other highly addictive game that play is Words With Friends(WWFs). If you know me well, you know I love Scrabble. WWFs is a version of that. I love words and word puzzles. So I am suggesting that you check them out. I know, this is real random, huh?

The arrival of summer means we get blitzed with movies. This year there are several that I am excited to see. I can't wait to see the The Help. It was listed as one of my favorite books in a much earlier post. If you haven't read it yet, do so before you see the movie. Another film which should end up being a major blockbuster is the final installment of Harry Potter. Remember that I read the entire series with my daughter. We are bummed that we will have to wait till after our cruise to see it but we know it will be excellent. Transformers is out this weekend and my son is a serious fan. Special effects should be great.

For those of you who tend to neglect your health, let me encourage you to go see a physician and have a thorough physical. The life you save could be your own. Seriously! I have had a physical and all of my annual test this past month. I have a mammogram on Wednesday. Once a year check-ups can reveal things in your health that can be best solved if tackled early. I know it sounds kinda preachy but I know what I am talking about. My dad is deceased. He could be a walking poster board for why we should get ourselves checked regularly. He died of prostrate cancer. If detected early, it is one of the most treatable cancers. So I am imploring you to make an appointment today and keep it! Oh and I am totally healthy so this is not a health scare talking. I just think that we can't be anything to others without being good to ourselves.

Can you believe that 2011 is half over? I certainly can't. My grandmother told me that life seems to move more quickly when you have children. I guess she is correct. So at this juncture, what is it that you wanted to do this year that you haven't done? Who have you wanted to bless that you haven't blessed? What are you holding on to that you need to get rid of? Who haven't you forgiven? Just a little food for thought. Have a safe and blessed 4th of July. Aren't you glad we live in the land of the free and the home of the brave? Enjoy those cook-outs and be safe! Till next time....Ciao!!

Copyright on July 1, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Surprise!!!

2011-06-16T10:16:00.000-04:00

I love an unexpected surprise! On Tuesday, I had a really crappy day! My car wouldn't start in a parking lot and I almost got a speeding ticket while driving home from work in hubby's vehicle. All I was thinking was that I just wanted to be in the comfort of my own home with the people I love the most in the world. I really wasn't in the best mood...that is compounded by some work drama I can't discuss on here right now because you never know who might be reading. (#ocassionaltactfulblogger)

Well yesterday was a better day in many respects. The best occurrence was that my loving husband surprised me with a little gift that I had been desiring for a while. If you know me, you know my philosophy is, "Give the people what they want!" I received a very nice Pandora bracelet with four very fitting charms. They represent several things I care about...God, family, and love. Let me just say how thankful and surprised and happy I was by my husband's gesture. Gotta have those little moments. If you are ever in doubt about what to buy me, I will need charms. www.pandora.net.

Men Behaving.......Badly!!!!

2011-06-15T12:36:00.009-04:00

This is gonna be a quick rant!!! Too much press has been wasted on this subject, but I just need to get this off my own chest. Men(and I use this term lightly), learn how to handle your business correctly and take responsibility for your stupid actions. I am so damn sick of you all making a mockery of your marriage, wives, church, and the public in general. I mean seriously!!!

Your political position, your pastoral position, celebrity position, nor your lack of satisfaction in your current relationship give you the right to behave improperly. Anthony Weiner was a weenie when he publicly denied that he sent the pictures and had been hacked. Really now! I said he was lying immediately and of course I was right. Who could gain from that financially? I mean that is usually the reason for hacking some one's account, isn't it. Now he keeps showing up on television talking about he isn't resigning because he is doing the work of his constituents. Wasn't that what he was supposed to be doing when he sent the pictures out? Eddie Long pastor of one of the largest megachurches in the country settles out of court. If you aren't guilty, you go and fight to clear your name. Now there is a whole group of people who are all confused about their Christianity. Why, because instead of knowing that God is the true shepherd they placed their religiosity in a mere man. Then we have Creflo Dollar(and who takes someone with that name seriously) telling disenchanted members of Eddie Long's church that they aren't welcome at his church because men fall and we should stand in the gap and support them. BULL!!!! Creflo is wrong. This could be extremely detrimental to a young/new believer, especially if they are already confused about spiritual things. Well ultimately, Dollar telling you to go elsewhere is a blessing in disguise because he probably has his own issues, I mean his wife's name is Taffi. (SMH)

Ahh then there is Arnold....He has a child with the maid. Maria Shriver, a Kennedy, wasn't enough for him. Lust and greed are true examples of pride resulting in public humiliation and a fall from grace. Oh, then there is LeBron. Yes, I know the Clevelander's have taken hatred of him to a whole nother level but I am not one of them. He had a right to go to another team, how he did it is where I believe the real issue lies. The public announcement on live television was a bit over the top. After all the hype, Miami Heat was unsuccessful in securing the NBA Championship and a ring for LeBron. Instead of LeBron being humbled and moving on he showed his ass and acted like one too. Suck it up. While I am on the subject, I am not sure about Tracy Morgan. I do feel that if you are a comedian, you can get away with saying a lot of things, call it comedic license. Is it possible to go too far? Is there a point where comedians have to be socially responsible. Just wondering?

Okay, I am pretty much done. I am simply tired of the media spending time on such reprehensible behavior. We are responsible for our own actions. When we do something wrong, we should fully expect to pay the price. No one is exempt. NO ONE! Every one if these is a perfect example of why your child's best role model should be right there in the home with them. As responsible adults, we can use each of the men discussed in this blog as a teachable moment. Every action has consequences and there is always fallout and silent victims. An important lesson also is that what is done in the dark will ALWAYS come to light. Losing is inevitable at some point. Take your loss with humility and purpose to do better next time. There is always another game. That being said, I am done with the matter. I don however reserve the right to take up the subject later if necessary. Till next time, enjoy the blessed life that you have been given. God doesn't make mistakes! Peace!

Copyright June 15, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Happy Birthday, To Me!!!

2011-06-04T00:10:00.000-04:00

As my birthday is coming to a close, I am reflecting on the past year and my life in general. I am so blessed with a loving and supportive family, great friends who are like family, and more acquaintances than I can mention. There is nothing like having a wonderful group of people to help you through this strange thing called life. I love my husband and children. They make me laugh and scream and cry and pray. They give me balance and they throw me off balance. I couldn't imagine anyone else filling my days. They make me want to be a better person. They make me pray for a better world filled with opportunity and true equality.

My mom is one of my biggest cheerleaders. I am thankful that I am at a point in my life where I can actually say that we are truly friends and confidantes. I realize now how many sacrifices she made to give my brother and I a life of quality. She invested her time and talents, her resources were often lacking. It made such a difference in our character and values. Both my brother and I are better parents because of her example. I try to make sure that she knows that I love her and I really am appreciative of her willingness to invest and build children who are making a mark on their corners of the world. It goes without saying, that my grandmother made a major impression on my life as well. That Gemini woman quietly imprinted my life in ways I can't even put on paper. I have aunts who play a special part in my life and now those of my children too. I really do come from a strong stock of women. I carry a part of each of them with me.

I know I have written about my friends in previous posts but let me just say that I have some ride or die friends. I have women in my life who pray for me, check me, and uplift me. They support me through all kinds of crazy moments and happy moments. They too make me a better person. They have loved me through good times and bad. They check my children and sometimes my hubby too. They get me. I hope I bless them as much as they bless me.

So....God has blessed me with good people whom I wouldn't trade in for the world. Really, He has blessed me with a good life. I have done some great things. I wish I had done some things differently. I wish I had learned some lessons sooner rather than later. I can't even comment on the number things that I wish I had not said. I have made mistakes. In spite of it all, I get up every day and purpose to be a better person. My dad's motto was "Life to the fullest, no regrets!" Really it should be all of our mottoes. We should live each day to the fullest and when we reach the end, we should have few, if any, regrets. Sometimes, we have to smile even though we wanna cry and sometimes we need to let the tears flow. We need to reach out to others and encourage them on their life journey. You really never know when the lessons you've learned will empower and help somebody else.

I know me better than anyone else. I am strong. I am kind. I am loving. I am prayerful. I am confident. I am every woman(in my Chaka Khan voice). I was born for a purpose. I haven't done all I plan to do. I love people and I want to see the best in them. I want to live out God's plan for me life. I want to continue to be honest and trustworthy. A great wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend and whatever other roles I play are also what I strive to be.

So as I embrace turning 29 again, I place certain challenges upon myself. As always, to be a woman God can use. To be more healthy, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I am not going to allow people to impose their ideas of who I should be upon me. I am comfortable in my skin. I will always remain true and faithful to a set of core values. I am a person of my word. I am not given to following the crowd. What may look crazy to you, may be normal for me. I remain extremely prayerful. Chante is going to high school in September and that is a whole new world of parenting for us. I have no problem burdening others to pray for us and to intervene if necessary. Each day, I take stock of the people and influences in my life. If they aren't right or are causing excessive negative energy, they get the boot. Life is too short for folks who drain you in every interaction. So these things being said(and yes, I really could go on some more), I wish myself a very Happy Birthday! I thank God for the things He has done in this year and I welcome the challenges and blessings of the year to come. I only pray that I remember to seek His face and that I remember when I am in the midst of a storm, that it too shall pass. Here's to another year of good living. Ciao!

Business Promotion!!!

2011-06-02T21:41:00.001-04:00

Summer is just about here. I know all of you have not made all of your travel plans. Please check out www.dreamy destinations.net or www.facebook.com/DreamyDestin8ns for excellent travel deals. You can book your travel or take advantage of the specials offered there. Dreamy Destinations is my husband's travel business. We want to increase our clients and now is a good time to push for it. Tell your mother, cousin, neighbors and friends. He is thorough, honest, and had a passion for travel. We can't be successful, without a little help from you. One chance is all anyone ever needs. Don't forget to like us on Facebook and tell 3 friends to do the same.

Diva Dialogue-May, 2011

2011-05-26T22:43:00.000-04:00

Well May is not quite over but nonetheless, I got something to say. Well, I always have something to say but hey I have been MIA and I know you all are wondering why. May is not the best month for me. It signifies so many things, good and bad. As usual, this one was no exception. May tends to be an emotional month for me. My dad passed in May and though it has been six years, sometimes it seems like yesterday. Our relationship was complicated. That is another blog for the future. Let's suffice it to say that despite the complexities, no one person has ever been less judgmental. Without a doubt, I knew he loved me. Some days, I just wanna hear his voice and see him interact with his grandchildren. Unfortunately, I only have memories and hopefully they will not fade any time soon.

I realized how much of a wishy-washy relationship I have with Facebook. I love that I have connected with old friends and acquaintances. I hate how people use it. I try to be positive. My messages are not issued subliminally and I don't project my life drama in my statuses. Anyway, I went to write on the Wall of a friend who had been on my mind. Lo and behold, I notice messages of condolences to her and her twins. My heart immediately skipped a beat. Long story short, her husband had passed away unexpectedly the day before. We are talking an individual the same age as me in the prime of their life. Made me pause and think that life is short and you betta tell your loved ones what they mean to you. Forgive easily too. I am holding my friend in prayer because I don't know how I would deal with becoming a widow at such a young age. I did talk to her and I commended her for her strength but I reminded her to take her time to grieve the loss of her hubby/best friend/soul mate. Society has no patience for people and their pain. Grief is necessary and all the stages must be dealt with for you to be healthy and move forward. It is a never ending process too. I encouraged her to get a grief counselor for her and her children.

Okay, okay! I am bringing you down, huh? Well, on a lighter note, I attended my 25th Class Reunion. I had not returned to the hallowed halls of Laurel School since I graduated. There really wasn't a reason. Just not convenient. I went to a private all girls school. I got an excellent education and some experiences that I would never have in a public school. A couple of classmates started campaigning early to make sure I'd attend. I made them a promise and I followed through. I had an awesome time catching up with the girls. It was a blast to see where life had taken us over the years. It was also cool to reflect on the past but I'm thankful that time had changed us for the better. (SN: I was a minority child in a sea of non-minority faces. (Think about 6 of 58). I was a scholarship recipient amongst girls who got BMWs and Benzs for their 16th birthdays. I went home to the city, they went home to suburban sprawl.....you get the picture). The reunion was well attended. Yes, we had a record turnout. I was happy I was a part of the celebration and I have a much better appreciation of the women we each have become.

Yesterday was my 15th Wedding Anniversary. Wow! All I can say is that is has been a whirlwind relationship. Some up, some downs, and everything in between. Last year was a rough year for us and some times I wanted to walk away. Nothing worth having isn't worth fighting for. My husband is a good man. We both have issues and some times getting past them and working through them is a difficult task. Our union is one for the storybooks and so to keep it simple, we weathered the storm. Oh we both know there are more to come. For me, prayer and communication are the key. For him, it may be something else. What we know is that we love each other and we work well together. We have fun together. We have two awesome children who make us crazy. We both like wine and food and travel. We have aging parents and grandparents who we worry about. We have life stuff, just like every one else but at the end of the day, it is in each others arms that we find love, trust, and understanding. I wish that for every one. So we raise a glass to the next 15 years of love, life, and drama. I encourage married folks who are having a difficult period to stay the course and trust God. I love Dmitri more now than the day we said, "I do!"

The month is almost over. The grill will be going, the wine will flow. We will share it with good friends. I will bid my dear friend Rose a sad so long as she returns to South Africa where she is a missionary sharing the gospel and mentoring others to grow their relationship with Christ. I will wish my dear friend Yvonne a Happy 50th birthday. We will light a candle in honor of Julius Luciano Torres, our nephew lost to SIDS. His 1st birthday would have been celebrated on May 30th. If you remember, please say a prayer for his parents, Tiffany and Dennis. The past few months have been difficult for them as it would for anyone who suffers loss of a baby. Two of my nephews will graduate and so will my 3rd child born to my friend, Dorna! The future looks bright and I wish Tre, Lorin, and Bryan well in their future endeavors. I have high hopes for each of them. Then on to the best month of the year June! Geminis unite! LOL! My birthday is coming. School will be over! Praise the Lord! Well, I gotta go! I love you all! Be safe this Memorial Day Weekend! Don't drink and drive! Be blessed and be a blessing! Ciao!

Osama is Finally Dead

2011-05-02T11:21:00.000-04:00

Last night Pres. Obama announced that Osama Bin Ladin had been killed by US Navy Seals. What a whirlwind of images floated through my mind and another torrent of emotions surged in my heart. Wow! After 10 long years, where most American were confident bin Ladin would never ever be caught, the master of hide and seek was found and killed in a mansion in Pakistan. So many thoughts floated through my mind. I had gone downstairs to make a sandwich and came up to find my husband watching his favorite station, CNN. He quickly advised me that something BIG was happening but had no clue what. I stated, "maybe they caught and killed bin Ladin" in jest. He looked at me like I was crazy said that he thought it would be something to do with Libya. Moments later it was confirmed that I was actually on point. I patted myself on the back and waited with bated breathe for the President to appear and make the formal annpouncement.

As we waited, I reflected on that fateful day in September. I prayed that the families of the victims would feel some type of relief and closure. You can't minimize their loss and you definetely sympathize with their grief and pain. I pictured then Pres. Bush saying that we would seek justice. I thought about all the troops that fight tirelessly. I had a realization that there may be retaliation, so the troops are probably no closer to coming home. I prayed for their families, too. I prayed for the Obama family. Running this country can't be an easy task and of late I feel the public has made a mockery of the position. We are going to see all kinds of fallout from this one event. Some of it will be good and some of it will be tragic. What I am waiting for is to see how we proceed in our dealings with Pakistan. That is a very fragile relationship right now.

What I know is this, God is in control. He blesses in the midst of messes. We should all feel good about our country and pray for our leadership. Our daily security is threatened in ways we never know. There is another Osama bin Ladin who is already trained for the next task. We must be sober and vigilant. Yes we must always have hope. Only God knows why things have been orchestrated this way and we have to trust that His plan really is good.

I initially was gonna write about the White House Correspondent's Dinner. Obama and Seth Myers took it to Trump. We know he will be asking to see the body and wanting to check the DNA for himself to assure that Osama is dead. Let's face it, after waiting 10 years, we all need some proof. It is just the nature of the beast. Here's what I like about how things played out.....Yes, Obama dogged Trump. He deserved it. It was a classy way to get a Southside Chicago beatdown without throwing a blow. It was triumphant that the Pres pre-empted Trump's show the next night at what I know to be a pivotal moment. He interrupted the show and then arrived on CP(for my Caucasian friends, that's Colored People's) time to show that he can be gangsta if he has to. Tee hee hee. He delivered a clear concise message to the American public.

The Americans cheering outside the White House made me reflective. Was it really a moment to cheer? Would justice have been better served if bin Ladin had to meet a judge and jury? How were the families of the 9/11 victims going to feel? Hope or hype? Are we any safer? Are the troops going to come home any time soon? Only time will tell how things will play out. God bless America!!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on May 2, 2011

Royalty or bust?

2011-04-28T22:00:00.002-04:00

So...Who's caught up in the drama of the Royal Wedding? Who is getting up early to watch? Who is setting your DVR(Tivo) to record it? Who wants to know who designed Kate Middleton's dress? Who really cares? Is it really that serious?

The hype over their nuptials and all the pomp and circumstance is really getting on my last nerve.Thank God it all ends tomorrow. We will all know who designed the dress and how long the train is. God forbid it look as painful as Princess Di's. We will know who attended and who wore the flyest hat. We will no longer be subjected to seeing every bar, hotel, and other places they spend their time. I won't even discuss the various souvenirs and paraphernalia being sold with the faces plastered all over them.

People are camping out. People have gone to London to be a part of the atmospshere. We really have become obsessed with all things Kate & William. We should all be well aware of the etiquette involved. We know how long it will take to get to Westminster Abbey. The photographer who gets the first shot of Kate will be the cat's pajamas. Kate Middleton's life will never be the same. Her life will never be her own either. I do like that she and William sort of don't play by all the rules. I l also love that they are charitable and seem to enjoy partying. They are young and they should be having the time of their lives.

All that said, if you live on the East Coast, you need to get up before the crack of dawn to catch the festivities. I just wanna remind you that if you miss it, there will be highlights all day long and I'm sure all weekend too. The knock off dress will be available by Monday at a fraction of the price. I am not a hater but there is so much going on in the world that it is difficult to muster excitement over a wedding. I hope they really love each other and they know they need a third party involved to make it. I am referring to Jesus, if you are clueless. I will not be getting up to witness the nuptials, nor will I record it. I pray they make it. Right now my mind is on the victim's of the past week who have been affected by the tornadoes. I am impressed that NBC's Brian Williams decided to leave the Royal festivities to return to the States and cover our tragedies. Excellent move on his part. I mean that is serious news. So you all let me know what I miss. As if I will be able to avoid it! I am not obsessed with Royalty but I stand in the Presence of Royalty several times a day. Jesus Christ is King of Kings, and the Prince of Peace. That is truly the only royalty I care about. That's all for the moment. Ciao!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on April 28, 2011

Political Roundup

2011-04-27T21:33:00.000-04:00

Today, President Obama released his birth certificate to the public. Guess what? He is an American citizen! No $*!+, Sherlock! Of course he is. I mean when has a President being a legitimate American been questioned. Oh, I know! NEVER! The reason the BS surfaced, and yeah, I am going to say it, is because he is a man of color. American patriotism my behind. We have a long way to go and we can't be honest about it because there would need to be an admission of wrongdoing on some one's part. It ain't the colored folks either.

So what is the "Hair" going to say now? Oh I know, he is gonna question the legitimacy of the President's education. The man went to Harvard and graduated. Do his grades make a difference? Donald Trump is irritating with his pompous self. I believe he is a media whore seeking ratings for his show. I don't believe he has a desire to run for President but to blur the issues and hide the fact that there are no real options for Republican candidates. Let's face it! Do we really trust Trump with money? He's filed bankruptcy on three separate occasions. He's also been married that many times. Does that make him a viable option for President? Would it make him a better choice than Obama. Obama has been married once and there is no indication that he filed bankruptcy. Jus sayin! Let me just say this and I am done for the moment, Trump is gonna have a million skeletons in his closet that he ain't gonna want out there. We know he isn't gonna just put all his ish out there. That is the difference between being able to run as a Caucasian candidate and running as a person of color. If you aren't Caucasian, you better not a have a damn skeleton anywhere. It will be the source of your demise. We still can't do what they can. Not meant to offend, just the truth of the matter.

America has to realize that we really do need to stop looking at color and allowing superficial issues to keep us from looking at real issues i.e. education, defense, civil rights, etc. We need to stop being swayed by minor BS. Obama is not perfect but I have NEVER seen a President so disrespected and forced to deal with insignificant crap. It sickens me that so called patriotic individuals can dis him so easily and don't give him the respect of the position. Yadda, yadda, yadda!

So what do you all think about Obama's latest appointments? He is shaking up his Security team. The question is, will we all feel safer or confident in these appointments? CIA Director Leon Panetta has been selected to succeed Robert Gates as defense secretary. He also selected General David Patreus as the replacement for Panetta. Other appointments will follow. I don't always keep up with these appointments but I often think change is good. What do you think about it?

As much as I hate to journey here so early, I am gonna do it. What do you think will be the hot button issues for this upcoming election? My thoughts are this and I am sharing them here first. Immigration, abortion, and I wish I could say education but we don't seem to really put our money where our mouth is on that issue. So the third issue is probably related to finance and business. We will also see some discussion around same sex marriage. My final question is this.....(insert drum roll)....is Hillary gonna run?

Okay, that's it for now. Politics really is not my thing but as I've grown older, I have had to become more serious and really review the issues near and dear to me. I have to stay up on current events to have hot debates with my handsome hubby, too. Till next time, be blessed and be a blessing!!!!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on April 27, 2011

Weekend Round-up-Holy Week, 2011

2011-04-23T16:50:00.000-04:00

We just returned from Ocean City, MD. We had a lovely Spring Break despite the less than warm weather. I am always thankful for time away from home. No routine and the pleasure of my little family, uninterrupted. I read two books this week. I read Satan's Sisters: A Novel Work of Fiction by Star Jones and Private by James Patterson. I wasn't impressed with either books. Star's book read like a grocery store tabloid. I have higher expectations for such an intelligent woman. James Patterson and I have a love hate relationship. I hate it when his books are formulaic. This one was not, but it wasn't his best work. The story had potential but it left you lacking in some ways. So life really is good for me. Oh and I didn't drive or cook the entire time. Yes, Lawd! It was a good week.

This is the end of Holy Week! Easter is not about bunnies, chocolate, or eggs. It is about the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, three days after He was wrongly crucified. Easter is really about hope. We all have a second chance to make things right. Jesus took the pain and suffering on the cross so that we can spend eternity with Him. It is up to each of us to choose Christ and accept that His blood has atoned for every one of our sins, past, present, and future. The concept is overwhelming and mind-blowing at the same time. Nuthin but the blood! The blood that gives me strength from day to day, it shall never lose it's power. There is Power in the Blood! That is one of things you simply have to know for yourself. Happy Resurrection, Day!!!!

Diva Dialogue-April 2011

2011-04-14T21:11:00.000-04:00

What's up everyone? I am alive and I am fairly well. I am not going to make any excuses. I simply have not had the time to post. It is still a passion and desire so don't count me out yet. It is still an outlet for me. I told you all a long time ago that I was working my issues out in this forum. LOL!

Tax season ends in a couple of days. Very happy about that. This year the side hustle didn't net a sista as much money as it usually does. (Insert a very sad face). You have till Monday to submit your Federal tax return without penalty.

Spring Break is next week. I am looking forward to chillaxing with my wonderful husband and kids(plus a friend for each). It is a much needed respite from the mundane routine. We all could use some one on one time with each other. Life moves quickly and sometimes you need to connect in a different environment. Hopefully, I can fit a novel in as well.

Have I told you all that I hate my job? Well I do. I am thankful for having it. It solved some problems on the home front and well, I like money. What I should say is that I like having my own money. God blessed me with what I asked for.....a part-time gig, close to home that would allow me to maintain my fun schedule. By that I mean, volunteering, attending Community Bible Study, and an occasional lunch with a friend. So I am thankful that my prayer was answered. I work at a Montessori school. I have learned that I really don't like other people's ill-mannered children. Now I need to pray for another gig that would afford me those same opportunities but in a more professional setting. Pray for me, please!!!!

Okay! So enough about me for the moment. There is so much going on in the world right now. Gas prices are rising like crazy. Blame is being placed on the issues in Libya. Seriously? We only get 1% of our oil from them. Yep, you read correctly, 1 freakin %! So please tell me why we are paying almost $4 a gallon for gas. Senseless! Japan is still suffering but the news on them has just about disappeared. Their damage is far reaching and widespread. It will take a while before they are back on track. News on Libya is also pretty minimal. Stuff is till happening over there but I guess mums the word given all the money the US is spending over there.

Discussion is increasing on the 2012 Presidential election. Oh joy! Happy! Happy! I am so not ready for all that rhetoric and BS in general. Being President is NOT a job I'd ever want. jus sayin! Donald Trump considering throwin his hat into the ring.....REALLY? What a farce! Sad thing is some of my Conservative friends will think he is a viable option. Can't wait to see who all the contenders are this time around. You can hear it here first, I think Hillary is gonna run against Obama. That is all the press I am giving the election for now.

The Money Challenge...if you are participating, by Monday the 18th of April, you should have $276. I am current. Finally, nuff said!

So you know you are no longer an A-lister if you have been selected for Dancing With The Stars or a reality television show is based on your family drama. Another random Pam thought. Brandy and Ray J, the Braxtons, Sinbad and the list goes on. Why people? Better yet, why do we watch these train wrecks waiting to happen?

Shout out to my son who has made the Honor Roll yet again. DJ, I am very proud of your hard work and effort. Keep up the good work. Chante, you need to step up your game, girl. You have the potential but you seem to enjoy under-achieving. Stop being lazy and do what you have the potential to do.

Well I got several blogs in my head.....I wanna share my thoughts on the book of Revelation. My Bible Study has worn me out. I got a marriage and parenthood blog in my mind. God only knows what else is rolling around in my head. Things are coming. Trust me on that. Thanks for being patient with me. I gotta go! Peace!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on April 14, 2011

Diva Dialogue-March 2011

2011-03-13T11:47:00.004-04:00

Miss Read has been busy of late. I say that because I am missing this outlet so much. I really do have a million thoughts floating around in my head that I need to be sharing with you. It is my cathartic moment. I told you all a long time ago that I work out my issues in this forum. I also vent and share. Well lately, my time has not been my own and I am having to come to terms with that. I am working part time, it is tax season, I do Bible Study and have a leadership role there, my kids have activities, my husband has needs and so the life responsibilities continue. I have friends, I need time to myself and goodness, there are so many books being neglected. LOL. Y'all know I love a good book. I have been neglecting my Face book account and Twitter too. You can follow me on there if you like(PrettyEyedPam). I would love to improve my readership in this forum too.

As I write this post, my heart goes out to Japan and its people. As we have learned from Haiti's disaster, rebuilding takes a really long time. Worse still, it is the lost lives that take weeks to be recovered, if they are even recovered. When I see things like this happen, I like many others am tempted to question God. I don't because I quickly remember God's intense response to Job. I wasn't there when He formed the earth and put stars in the sky or carved out light or any off the other miraculous things He did. I am studying Revelation in Bible study and it is no joke. If you take the time to really read it, there is going to be a level of destruction that we really can't begin to wrap our small minds around. There will be significant death and destruction and as much as it is painful to see the images of Japan (or Haiti), it is still all a part of God's plan. He was not surprised by the event because He orchestrated it before we were even conceived. So He remains in control and our duty is to trust in Him.

As of tomorrow, you should have $171 saved if you are participating in the Money Challenge. I don't know if any of you rose to the challenge but wouldn't be nice if you could save $1378 by the end of the challenge. If you started with me, you would have that amount saved as of November 7, 2010. Just in time to do your Christmas shopping and not have to resort to a blown budget or credit cards. If you have a Christmas plan, that is enough to book you a nice trip through www.dreamydestinations.net. LOL! If you didn't start with me, you can start any time and have a nice amount of change saved to perhaps open a CD or something.! Just trying to encourage you to set a financial goal and meet it.

I am so pressed for time, that I haven't been reading. I need some book recommendations! Any suggestions?

Apparently direct sale business seem to be on the rise. Have you heard of thirty-one products? Thirty-one products consist of purses, storage, stationary, and a host of products to help your organize your home or car, etc. They have vibrant designs and you can personalize your purchases. Then there is Scentsy. They have lovey ceramic designs, in various colors, where you place scented blocks of wax in them and the fragrance permeates your home. Let us not forget Pampered Chef, Tastefully Simple, Avon, Mary Kay, and Beach body. I am not a salesperson. However if you are looking for a representative for any of these products, I can refer you to one who'd be happy to meet your needs. If you need an income source, you might consider one of these home-based businesses that you can work around your schedule.

Which leads me to my next thought....things that I am loving right now. I am loving Turkey Hill's Pomegranate Lemonade. I also like NBC's new show, Harry's Law. It is really good in a quirky kind of way. My other favorite show is The Good Wife. It is well written with a great plot and excellent ensemble cast. What I am not feeling right now is BET's revamped version of The Game. Hopefully the plots will improve as well as the writing. It has potential but right now it is missing the mark. As for products, check out Lush's It's Raining Men body wash. Smells good and moisturizes! For my feet, I have been pampering them with Bath and Body's Super richfoot cream. Has a minty smell and moisturizes very well. It is part of the True Blue Spa line. If you know me, you know I like candles. I am feeling Yankee Candle 22 oz. Early Sunrise Jar Candle and Yankee Candle 22 oz. Pink Sands Jar Candle. I also like Bath and Body Works Slatkin & Co. 4 Oz. Filled Candle Caribbean Salsa, Bath and Body Works Slatkin & Co. 4 oz. Filled Candle Pink Sangria, and Bath and Body Works Slatkin & Co. 4 oz. Filled Candle Island Margarita. I like Zumba Fitness for Wii as well as the Michael Jackson The Experience and Just Dance 2/Just Dance. Greatways to work out and have fun too.

I know we are still in a recession, so I am not really encouraging you to go out and spend your money. Just sharing what I like right now. Jobs are still being lost. Homes are still being foreclosed upon. Government is still large but let's face it, the government employs a lot of folks. So cutting government will cut jobs. I am wondering what we are going to do to get ourselves out of this mess. Aren't you all sick of the politicians grandstanding? Don't you just want them to work for the interest of the working people? More and more, I really think that we need to limit the terms of both Senate members and congressmen. Oh I also think we need to limit Supreme Court justices terms as well. I know I have said it before and I will continue to say it because it really is in the best interest of the people.

Happy Birthday, Talithia and Ugochi! Hope you have a fantastic day. Happy belated birthday to Tracie and Annette! Hope your birthdays were great!

All right, enough of my random stuff. I have missed you! I am going to try to be better about posting. Know that I am not wasting the 24 hours that God has given me. I am trying hard to fulfill my purpose and do His will. I hope you are doing the same. Smile! Laugh! Forgive! Life is short! Be a blessing! Peace!

Copyright March 13, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Forgiveness is Not an Option!

2011-03-13T10:39:00.000-04:00

Does it ever seem to you that certain issues or things are going to be a theme in your life for a period of time. Well, it happens to me all. the time. This year it seems that the themes that will keep coming up are forgiveness, finances, and trusting God at His Word. It is only March and things could change but so far these things keep being inserted in my spirit and popping up all around me.

I don't have a problem with forgiveness but I know people who do. It is sad to see the effect that harboring hurts and disappointments takes on these individuals. In turn it takes a toll on the people they love. It also takes a toll on the individual because it affects their health, relationships, and thought process. Unforgiveness easily leads to anger and bitterness.

Forgiveness is serious business. God has commanded us to forgive our brothers and sisters as He has forgiven us. Sounds so easy but we all know that we don't always keep that commandment.We hold on to hurt and pain like a it is an anchor. It is an anchor that can lead to complete and utter destruction. There is a reason we aren't supposed to go to bed angry. The devil loves unchecked anger or unforgiveness. It gives him just the opportunity he needs to poison your mind and have you thinking all crazy and not trusting people and all kinds of foolishness. The Bible tells us that in order for God to forgive us, we must first forgive others. That is rather powerful. We can't receive the free gift of God's forgiveness unless we give that same gift to whomever has wronged us. If you don't believe me, look up Matthew 6:15 and Luke 6:37.

Forgiveness is not for the other individual, it is for you. Often people don't even know that they have you bound up in anger. So tell the person they hurt you, forgive them and forget about it. Forgetting is difficult but dwelling on it doesn't help. God casts our sins in the sea of forgetfulness never to remember them again. Isn't that something? So liberate yourself! Yes, yourself, because you are in bondage. Let go of the hurt, anger, and whatever issue has you caught up. You aren't receiving the full measure of what God has for you if your aren't in His will. To be in His will, forgiveness, is NOT and option. It is a command. Till next time, be blessed and be a blessing!

Copyright March 13, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Diva Dialogue-February 2011

2011-02-19T09:49:00.001-05:00

Hey Everybody! I was simply missing you all. I have a million and one things floating in my head and not enough time to get them on blog. Just wanted to give you all a shout out on this lovely President's Day weekend. I wish I was attending the NBA All-Star festivities. It just looks like fun. I love the three point shoot out and the Slam Dunk contest.

This week has been a busy one for me but I need to show my loyal readers some love. I hope that you had a great week and your Valentine was good to you. That said, wouldn't you all rather your Boo show that love 365 days a year instead of making some restaurant and Hallmark that much richer? As I get older, I realize that these BS holidays give folks an excuse to do what they should be doing all along. Roland S. Martin had the best rules for V day if you follow him on FB or Twitter. The brother had me rolling. Even better than that were his Super Bowl rules. If you can find them, they will have you howling. Shout out to my favorite woman of all time...Mom, I hope you had a fantastic birthday!

Speaking of Super Bowl....those commercials had to be the worst ever. I am just saying! Unfortunately, my house rooted for the Pittsburgh Steelers and the were NOT victorious. My son is a huge fan as was my dad, may he RIP, so our home was all about the Black and Gold. Personally, I enjoyed the half-time show. The Black-Eyed Peas did the darn thing and showed why they are loved by audiences all over the world. I really wanna check out the Cowboy's stadium. It looks awesome! I am a Dallas Cowboy fan too.

Part of the reason I am MIA here in the blogosphere is that I have a part-time job. A sista is supposed to work 15 hours a week. This past week I worked 33 hours and that is in addition to all my other obligations. It has been 7 years since I worked a full time job. Funny, I found myself wondering how I did that for all those years. Call me spoiled but I am sure God had a reason for wanting women to stay home and take care of things while the husband provided. Not starting a feminist argument or anything but honestly girls, we screwed ourselves demanding all these so called rights.

I have been reading for enrichment and pleasure. One of the books has got me to thinking about race again. It is a subject that always comes up given my surroundings and upbringing. I am dialoguing with several women of all races and backgrounds on a book fraught with race issues and it is interesting to see the conversation play out. The dialogue is occurring on-line. My opinion is this, we are always going to be bound by race issues. America is not prepared to deal with the honest conversations that need to happen and some folks simply can't let go of their intense hatred for those who aren't like them. Having Barack Obama as President does not mean we are through dealing with race issues. In order for real progress to be made, we need real dialogue. Today, we are so limited by political correctness and the need to be tolerant that we simply can't have the discussion. I am not one those who thinks It is the President's responsibility to lead the discussion. He is every one's President and him taking up that cause would allow others to pigeon hole him into being the "Black President who only cared about Black issues." I don't see how we will resolve the issue of race but I don't doubt God. That being said, I think it would take an act of God for the issue to be completely resolved for once and for all.

This year is my 25th class reunion. I plan to attend. Why am I telling you all this? Well, I haven't returned to my Alma mater for a reunion yet. I have promised my classmates that I will show up. I went to a small private school for girls. My graduating class was 68 young women full of promise. It was the largest class that had ever graduated from the school filled with tradition. Our college attendance rate was 100%. I am getting excited. There is no rhyme or reason as to why I haven't attended otherr than it occurs on the same weekend every year and so does my husband's. It is easier to attend his because Philadelphia is easier to get to. I am not trying to lose weight and look all fly(I already am fabulous), I am simply attending to catch up and have fun!

So that is the long an short of it. I missed you and wanted to holla! I have things to say and I will say them. I can't say that I am taking anything off of my plate so bear with me and be patient. God has my days worked out. I am trying to stay in His will. I hope that you are seeking His plan and purpose for you. Don't be a slave to the opinions of others. Clean out the thought closet. Be a blessing! Till next time!

Copyright February 19, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

A Thought Closet Makeover

2011-02-08T11:15:00.000-05:00

This past weekend, I attended a Women's Conference at a local church. The conference theme was, A Thought Closet Makeover. Honestly, I almost did not attend. I was tired and just not in the mood. Unbeknownst to me, my friend had purchased a ticket for me so I felt obligated to go and not waste my money. Well needless to say, I am glad I did. I won one of the prize giveaways. Yep, a grocery gift certificate! Yea me! Yea me!

The conference speaker was Jennifer Rothschild, a 47 year old woman,who has been blind since she was 15 years old. Jennifer was stricken with retinitis pigmentosa, a disease in which the retina of the eye degenerates and eventually leads to incurable blindness. Jennifer is a petite woman with a very down to earth presentation. She has authored several books, been on the Dr. Phil show, and speaks all over the country. She is also a mother and wife who appears to have valued maintaining her ndepepndence despite of her affliction.

I am going to give you a brief summation of what she taught. I hope you take a way that, like the words you speak, the thoughts floating around in your brain are extremely powerful. Her premise was this, until you learn to control your thoughts, your thoughts will control you.(ref. Proverbs 23:7a) She shared this quote which I know I 've seen before but don't have a clue whom to attribute it to: If you sow a thought, you'll reap an action, If you sow an action, you'll reap a habit. If you sow a habit, you'll reap a character. If you sow a character, you'll reap your destiny. Now that right there is a really deep. As women, it doesn't take much for a negative thought to occur and we turn it into a whole negative situation that simply doesn't exist. She reminded us that every feeling is not a fact.

Using II Corinthians 10:5, "casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ," as a guide, Jennifer challenged us to a) recognize the lie that we are telling ourselves. b) refuse the lie entry into our thoughts. c) rephrase the lie as truth and allow the truth to sit in the middle of our thought closet. Failure to do so could result in our losing the healing from God that we long for. She used the story of Naaman as an example. You can read about him in II Kings 5.

Next, she encouraged us to get an accountibility partner. See, I was already on the right track, if you read my previous post, Who Gonna Check Me, Boo? I love that she encouraged each of us to find "big girls who act like Jesus." You really do have to be careful who you choose to hold you accountable. They have to be utterly respectful, encouraging, and gentle. They also have to be intimate with the person. The person has to have a peak into your thought closet as well as have the ability to be honest and thorough with you. She gave three questions that I absolutely fell in love with. The questions are 1. What do you see in my life that encourages you? 2. What do you see in my life that you'd like to caution me about? And 3. What else would you like to tell me? Ummmm! Those are serious! You have to be careful to whom you'd pose those questions to. Choosing the wrong person could lead to deep hurt and pain.

Her ultimate message was that we are who God says we are. God is NOT impressed with our achievements. She told us that we needed turn our thoughts from "I" to "Him" and He will reveal His thoughts for us. If we are the center of our self-talk, we are resisting the spiritual rest that God has for us. If we remove ourselves from the equation, we can recieve and accept our identity from Christ. Our goal isn't to perform for God but to rest in Him and surrender to His will and walk in His grace with meekness. Isn't that something?

Several things became clear to me as a result of Jennifer's teaching. We all need to immerse ourselves in Truth. We can't label ourselves based on our issues, nor can we allow them to define us. God has already labeled us for His character and purpose. He desires for us to be conformed to His own image. God wants us to be clothed(wardrobed) in His righteousness. So it is important to speak truth to yourself and cling wholeheartedly to it. More importantly, we have to cling to Him because He has the ability to heal our issues and refine them. If you allow Christ to reign in your thought closet, your issues won't matter. Christ will resolve them.

So readers, what thoughts are floating in your closet? How many of them are lies that you've been told by others or yourself? Isn't it time to let those lies go and embrace the truth that God has for you? Our thought closet contains EVERYTHING that we've been taught. That is a heck of a lot of stuff! Jennifer said, "it may not be well with your circumstances, but it can be well with your soul. It can only be well with your soul if you are anchored to the truth of God." So today, I am challenging you to give your thought closet a makeover. One lie that you have been telling yourself can be holding you back. That lie comes with a whole lot of other stuff(which could also be lies) attached to it. If we change one lie at a time, we just might change our destiny. You don't want your negative self talk to be your truth and reality. It isn't normal! Please feel free to share your story with me as you change your thoughts. They say you are what you eat. We are as much what we eat as we are what we think. Turn that negative into a positive! Till next time! I love you! Be a blessing!

SN: if you are interested in check Jennifer out, her website is www.jenniferrothschild.com.

Copyright February 8, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Who Gonna Check Me, Boo?

2011-01-27T11:23:00.000-05:00

As the year begins, we all make commitments to do better studying the Word of God. That is if you are a Christian and I certainly hope you are. I try really hard to commit to having some devotional quiet time each morning. It is very hard for me to commit to on the weekend. Recently, I was asked to be a part of a tech accountability group who would commit to reading the same devotional and checking in via e-mail. I am absolutely loving it. We don't all know each other and we have varying views on the material. We share our thoughts, struggles, and prayer requests. It has been going well so far.

We got the idea from a blog which explains how to set up your own. here is the link, www.womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com. The accountability period lasts for 90 days. There is a study you can follow there or you can choose your own. The group is called Good Morning Girls. Tech accountability groups can take on a range of ideas. My girlfriend, Dana, had a group that focused on finances and financial issues. Groups like this support and encourage you to be better and do better. My group is using Donna Partow's, Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be: A 90-Day Guide to Living the Proverbs 31 Life. She is touching on lots of aspects women deal with from prayer, to home, to diet, and everything in between.

I am learning a lot about myself and I am thoroughly enjoying the perspectives of the women in my group. You never know what you can learn from someone else. We all need to be held accountable lest we go astray. What do you need to be held accountable for? Find you a small group of like minded people and set up a group. It might not be a spiritual accountability group, it may be health and fitness, finances, or parenting. Whatever it might be, try it. A three month commitment is a commitment. It is a short season. Everything works with checks and balances. We were not meant to journey life alone. So...who gonna check ya, Boo? Till next time, be a blessing!!!

Copyright January 27, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

10 Ways to Love People

2011-01-22T12:20:00.001-05:00

My mom is on a roll. She has been sending some advice for life lately. She sent me this and of course I loved it. Not only is a good way to love others but it really is good for everyday living. Life would be less complicated if we can follow these simple guidelines. Give it a try. The year is still quite young and these rules can be utilized forever(and at any age). In fact, the younger we learn these things, the better off we'd all be. Remember, baby steps. If you fail, you can re-try daily. God gives multiple chances. I think He'd be more than pleased to see His children act out these principles in our day to day lives.

1. Listen without interrupting. (Proverbs 18)

2. Speak without accusing. (James 1:19)

3. Give without sparing. (Proverbs 21:26)

4. Pray without ceasing. (Colossians 1:9)

5. Answer without arguing. (Proverbs 17:1)

6. Share without pretending. (Ephesians 4:15)

7. Enjoy without complaint. (Philippians 2:14)

8. Trust without wavering. (Corinthians 13:7)

9. Forgive without punishing. (Colossians 3:13)

10. Promise without forgetting. (Proverbs 13:12)

Love is the greatest commandment of all. God has called us first into relationship with Him and then into relationship with others. It would be easy to be a Christian if we didn't have to deal with people. Life is not that simple. Employ these principles and exemplify love. If you need additional reinforcement about what it means to love, you should review I Corinthians 13. That said, let us all purpose to do do better at loving others. Have a safe and blessed weekend!

Copyright January 21, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Questionable Motives Part 2

2011-01-20T22:58:00.001-05:00

Yesterday's blog just flowed out of me. That was great! What was even greater than that, was the confirmation I received during my morning quiet time and devotions, that what I said was on point. Yesterday, I challenged you to examine your motives. I encouraged you to make sure that the reasons you do what you do or say what you say or think what you think were edifying to Christ. Remember, only what you do for Christ will last.

This is what got me excited enough to share.....I am reading my devotions and the author points out that we bring harm to God when our motives and priorities aren't to please Him. Can you believe that? Harm! I am sure none of us ever wakes up thinking about bringing harm to God. After all, He has all power yet He gave us free will. Then I read another devotion and lo and behold it gave me this verse to further confirm the fact that when our motives are wrong, we do bring harm to God. Matthew 12:30(NLT) states, "Anyone who isn't with me opposes me, and anyone who isn't working with me is actually working against me."

That is a very powerful statement. In other words, we need to let God handle His own business. There is no need for us to manipulate a situation with wrong motives. We need to allow the Holy Spirit to work in and through us to accomplish His will. So today's question is, Do you really want to bring harm to God? I don't think so. So that being said, again, I challenge you to check your motives. Not only can you bring harm to God but you probably will end up bringing harm to yourself. Till next time, examine yourself. Peace!

Copyright January 20, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Questionable Motives

2011-01-19T21:11:00.000-05:00

Have you ever heard the saying that only what you do for Christ will last? Have you ever really thought about the true meaning of that? If you really ponder that, it is DEEP. All your actions, thoughts, words, and deeds are pretty much worthless unless they were to edify Christ. Wow! Huh? The mere thought made me think that we should always be mindful of our true motives for the things we say and do(on the outside and in our minds).

As we journey through the New Year, let me challenge you to really think about why you do the things you do. Are you doing them for self gratification? Are you doing things to please others? Perhaps you do things to prove a point or to manipulate a situation. Or are you doing them because they have eternal value? I know many of us act quite a bit without thinking. Others really do have some type of agenda. It would certainly be lovely if everyone had a Christ agenda. You would not question their motives because there would be none, other than to please Christ.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about why people do what they do? I think a lot about why I do the things I do. All of my actions are not to please Christ but I do desire to be more and more like Him each day. It is very challenging because of course I can't control all the variables. I can't pre-determine how people will act or re-act, nor can I control what they think or say. I can control my thoughts, words, and actions. It is a daily challenge for me to take my eyes off of the people that I deal with and try to please Christ. Satan is definitely not wanting that to happen. Already, it seems as if he is throwing darts at me from every angle. Well, I may not be victorious every day but I will not give up nor will I give in.

Sometimes you just know what you know. I know this is going to be a good year for me. Something in my spirit is telling me that. I have begun the year in a positive frame of mind. I have begun with a strong desire to grow in my RELATIONSHIP with Christ. To accomplish this, I must invest my time and energy in developing the relationship with God. I have great friends and family in my life who hold me accountable and encourage me in my walk. I hope you do too. I am examining my motives and trying to stay true to the Christian woman that I am supposed to be. I am staying prayed up and I have enough sense to call on other prayer warriors when I have no words. I want to please God and I want to leave a legacy that has eternal value. I hope you think about that in terms of your own motivation. Wouldn't it be a shame to have lived a whole life and it have no value in eternity? Till next time...be blessed and be a blessing!

Copyright January 20, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Quick Check

2011-01-13T18:20:00.000-05:00

I posted a blog encouraging each of you to join me in a Money Challenge. I hope some of you were inspired to save weekly even if you couldn't follow that plan. If you chose to join me and a few of my friends, you should be nine weeks into the challenge and have saved $45. Now, who's with me? I decided once I hit the $50 mark the money needed to go somewhere so it could grow even more. Next week, I will be opening a new account for the Money challenge duckets. So where are you and what are you doing with your savings? If you couldn't start then, it is a good time to re-evaluate and start the year off right. Hope your New Year is off to a blessed start. I feel great and already have in my spirit that this is going to be a wonderful year for me! Peace and blessings!

Copyright January13, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

An Action Plan

2011-01-09T00:00:00.000-05:00

I hope every one's New Year is off to a blessed wonderful start. For me, so far so good. This is a short and sweet post. My mom sent this to me via e-mail, and well, I loved it enough to share with you. It is good advice as we find our selves already ditching our resolutions. It is also good every day life advice. Plus, I love acronyms. Take heed!

ACTIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR

Help others.

Admit it when you are wrong.

Promote Christ at every opportunity.

Present yourself in the best way possible to serve as an example for others.

Yield not to temptations.

Never think an unkind thought of others.

Endeavor to work harder for the Lord.

Weed out your bad habits with God's help.

Yearn and pray for peace.

Earnestly desire a stronger relationship with Christ.

Attend church regularly.

Resolve to give all for Christ and his church.

It really is simple advice. If we strive to live it out, what a difference we can make in our own lives and those of others. If your New Year isn't off to a grand start. Today is a new day. Change your attitude and be positive, things can change on a dime. Till next time, be blessed and be a blessing!

Copyright January 8, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Hope Rings Anew!

2010-12-31T12:37:00.000-05:00

This is the last day of 2010! Can you believe it? As I watched the "Year in Review" segments on many television shows, I was blown away by how much actually happens in a 365 day period. Some things triumphant and some things tragic and a little of everything in between. Personally, each of us has faced highs and lows, created memories, and reached milestones. Isn't it amazing that God already knew the outcome of every situation and all of the small (and large) details? No matter how surprised we were by anything that occurred this year, God was not.

I am happy to see the year come to a close. I admit that I have been blessed in big ways and small. However, when I reflect on the year, I struggled a lot. I struggled as a wife and a mother. I struggled with attitudes and finances. I struggled with my inability to change some situations that God was probably using to build my character. I could go on and on but I refuse to complain. I know any and all of you can relate. There is good and bad in all of our lives and sometimes it is easier to bear than others. For me, I am embracing the promise of a New Year. I am not really making resolutions. I always have a challenge going on in my head and I always purpose to live it out. If you read my blogs enough, you can probably figure out my goals for the year.

A New Year brings hope and promise. It brings a fresh perspective. It creates another opportunity to grow and change, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Resolutions or none, we all have something we want to see manifested in the promise of what "NEW" brings. We are not satisfied with the monotony of life; there is a change to be made somewhere be it in our relationships with God or others, or in our career or in our dysfunctional family. Change is always sought. Sometimes the changes are disappointing and sometimes they are more than we expected. Funny thing about change is this, we never stop expecting it no matter what it brings.

So as we send 2010 packing and welcome 2011, I hope you can reflect on the past and embrace the future. I hope that you can leave the baggage of 2010 behind and begin 2011 afresh and anew. You can choose your purpose and attitude for the year to come. It takes dedication and determination. It also takes the ability to try again if you happen to fail. Baby steps folks, baby steps.

My friend, Tracie, has challenged her friends to find a word for 2011 and let it be the focus for the year. I think my word is going to be contentment. It is a good choice but will probably be more difficult to live out than I think. We live in a world where we always think we need more and deserve more. I Timothy 6-8(NIV) states, " But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." Having read that verse, I note that in order to be content, I also need godliness. So I guess my work is cut out for me. I am thinking that if I work on the godly part, the contentment will come a little easier. I will keep you posted on my journey! Prayerfully, when I get to the year end reflection on 2011, I will have been successful in both arenas.

What about you? Where are you as we close out this year? Have you made up your mind about how you want to begin the New Year? It really is a good time to take stock of the past(hurts, pains, trials, and tribulations) and renew your vision for the future. I wish you the best of the best for the year to come. I hope you reach your goals. I hope you change for the better, I hope you learn to trust God more. I hope you choose to see the good in those around you! Finally, I hope that you purpose in your heart to bless someone else this year with your time, talent, or resources. That sense of charity will instill in you a feeling of hope and give you a new perspective. Be safe everyone! Thanks for allowing me into your lives. Till next year! Enjoy the rest of 2010 and let's make 2011 the best one yet! Happy New Year to you and yours!

Copyright December 31, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T22:14:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas to each of you, my devoted readers. Christmas is almost over. All the gifts have been purchased and most of them opened. Our tummies are full and our children are very happy and extremely blessed by their gifts. We have been bombarded by more sale advertisements than our brains could handle and I am sure many of us braved the stores trying to catch a sale or score a bargain. We are all acutely aware that a New Year is coming along with a mailbox full of bills too. Now we are contemplating and pondering how the New Year will be different and all the changes that we are gonna make.

I hope as this day has come to a close we each have taken the time to reflect on the true gift of this season. I hope we have done this many times over the past month despite getting caught up in the rat race of holiday madness. God's gift of His Son, Jesus is the reason we celebrate. The best gifts are not those we place under the tree but those we give of ourselves. Our time, our service, or talents. Let each of aim to remember that as we make our resolutions for 2011. I continue to remind you that on our worst day, we really are extremely blessed. That said, we all have something to give. Sometimes it is a simple smile to a stranger on the street. Others, it may be the clothes we have sitting in our closet that we will not be wearing. It can be holding an infant in the hospital or reading to a class. The list goes on and on but trust me there are needs all around you, you only need to look in your own backyard.

None of us know what it cost to willingly sacrifice our child for the world, and we never will. We will suffer loss, we will face defeat, and some times we may even lose heart, but God has given us His Son to carry us through all of those things and then some. I hope you know how special that gift really is for each of us. Every individual has an opportunity to have a relationship with Christ and all of our relationships will look different. It is called a personal relationship, you know? I trust that whatever your relationship with Him is, it will grow in the year to come.

Luke 2:10-11 states, "But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord." That is the gift we as Christians celebrate(and a whole lot of non-Christians, too). Let your gifts shine forth all year not just in December. That would be the best gift we could give to the Greatest Gift of All! I certainly hope you found your Christmas merry and your holidays happy! I also hope you took time to really reflect on the true meaning of the season...Without Christ, there would be no Christmas. I hope you took time out of your busy celebrations to wish Jesus a very Happy Birthday!

Copyright December 25, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Tis The Season

2010-12-17T22:36:00.000-05:00

Hi Everyone! I hope you are all well. I have been missing in action but I kept thinking, "I need to post a blog." Well I have been tired and unmotivated. As is the norm, I have millions of thoughts in my head fighting to be put into print. To bad, I can't type from my head. Anyhoo, it really is my favorite time of year. I absolutely love Christmas. Yesterday, God even blessed our area with a little snow(and the kids got an unnecessary snow day, today).

I love the Christmas season. I am most happy when I focus on Christ, not the mundane activity and busyness of the holiday. If you read my last blog, which was a great guest spot by my dear friend, Tracie, you would understand why I loved it enough to post it. For some reason, it is difficult to keep Christmas simple. People and advertisers make it complicated. Well this year, my joy for the season seems less bright than in the past. I have been pondering on the reason why.

Christmas is about Christ. It is a holiday that celebrates the birth of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. When we reflect on the original Christmas story, there is no busyness and things are simple. Joy is present too. Mary and Joseph were together and they had no place to stay. Mary didn't complain about having to birth her special gift in a manger with animals on a bed of hay. We are complaining about the cold(or the bills, or the children). The Three Wise Men were just happy to travel the roads to behold the newborn King and present him with their gifts. I am guilty of complaining and so are many of you.

We forget that on our worst day, we are still so very blessed. I am guilty of thinking about the perfect gift for this person or that. Today, as I type, I have done little shopping but lots of stressing. Would people be mad if I didn't get them anything? The reality is that some folks would. I am beginning to think that all gifts should have to come with a note about why you bought the gift and an explanation of what the recipient means to you. It would go something like this...."Mom, I bought this gift for you because love you so much and without the sacrifices you made for me, I wouldn't be the woman I am today." or "DJ, I gave you this game because the empathy you have for others, has made me more sensitive to others." Wouldn't that be awesome?!?

Giving is what the season is about. We need to remember this all year long. There are organizations that need food, clothes, and volunteers all year long. As a parent, I am extremely conscious of the fact that my children have way more than they need. It is important for me to impress upon them that there are children who are not as fortunate as they are. It is not their reality. I want them to have a heart to serve and bless others with their resources, time, and talent. All giving is not material.

This is not quite what I thought I was going to write so I guess this is the message God wanted me to impart....Jesus is the reason for the season. Have you taken any moments out of the past month to reflect on the grace and mercy of God? A new year is coming quickly. When I reflect on 2010, I can see that God has remained faithful even when I lost my focus on Him. He has protected me and kept me. He has given me peace in the midst of marital storms and parental storms. He has provided all of my needs and many of my wants. He has put people in my life who validate me, encourage me, and admonish me. He has given me the gift of health, creativity and love. I could go on and on, but this I know to be true, Christmas can be a joyous time of celebration and all kinds of other things but if you haven't put Christ into any of it, it really is pointless.

So a week before Christmas, I ask, where is your focus? Has Christ been at the center of any of your holiday activity? If you have been running around to mall after mall, and store after store, searching for this or that for this person and that, SLOW DOWN. No! Just stop! Meditate on where you were a year ago and where you are now. A lot has happened, correct? Yep, I know! Don't you just become overwhelmed by just the small minute blessings in your life? It is mind blowing, huh? God has been good to you. I know He's been all that and a bag of chips to me. Give Him the praise and honor He deserves. Look at your nativity set and really focus the real CHRISTmas Story. Do the gifts matter? Not really. People do though. Have you smiled at your elderly neighbor or offered to run an errand? Maybe he just needs an unhurried conversation to brighten his day. Have you offered the single mom with four kids a few hours of babysitting so she can get somethings done? Have you given away a coat or any gently used clothing so someone can be warm this winter. Well what are you waiting for? The best gifts are those that cost us little or no money. The gift of God in us goes a long way. Till next time remember, without Christ, there really would be no Christmas!!!!

Copyright on December 17, 201 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

A Mary Christmas

2010-12-04T10:46:00.000-05:00

So December has rolled in rather quietly and the reality is that the celebration of Christ's birth is imminently near. It is easy for us to get caught up in the holiday bustle and FORGET that the true focus of Christmas is Christ. No matter how much we love Him, it is easy to get caught up and thrown off balance. The other day, my dear friend Tracie asked me to proofread a devotional that she would deliver to the leadership team of our Bible Study. I loved it and asked her if I could share. She was willing and the following are her words. Let us know what you think!

As the calendar turned to expose November, my mind immediately turned to Christmas…(how could they not when the stores had already decked their aisles)...how were we going to afford it, where were we going to put the tree and decorations, we are in a new house after all, would Meredith be here, would my mom visit, I really would like to get the kitchen painted before the holiday, what picture will we send out this year…..but regrettably I admit, none of my thoughts were consumed with how can I “Worship my Savior”, how could I “Prepare for His Birth”….they were all selfish/self-centered thoughts and worries.

So I began to be convicted daily about the amount of time I spend Preparing to Celebrate the Season when what I truly wanted/needed to do is Worship my Savior….. How do I Worship rather than Celebrate….To Celebrate is to observe or commemorate and event through public festivities and gatherings…To Worship is to express adoring reverence or regard personally through ardent devotion….WOW, I don’t’ know that I have ever really worshipped Christmas (the coming of the Savior...) but I know I have done a lot of celebrating.

In my effort to seek out how to do just that…Worship my Savior this year rather than merely Celebrate the Season, I began daily reading the account of Christs incarnation and studying the ONE biblical example of a woman who had Prepared for the Saviors arrival….Mary.

So how do we have “A Mary Christmas”? Revisit and re-read Luke 1:26 – 39 and Luke 2:4 – 20 which tell the original Christmas story. Let's use the word "SIMPLE" as an acronym for how we can keep Christ in Christmas and not major on the minor this holiday season as well as follow Mary's example.

S – Scriptural : Mary sang hymns and spiritual songs…”The Magnificat”, she recognized the Messiah of Old Testament as the angel appointed her mother of the Most High God. So often this time of year when our focus should be on God and His Word, it is laid aside in an effort to accomplish the many other tasks on our to-do list….we’ll get back to a quiet time in the New Year…we’ll resolve. Make Christmas Scriptural….We give our children three gifts each year, a gift of want, a gift of need and a gift of love…in keeping with the 3 gifts Jesus received from the Maggi. I read an article this year of a family whose gifts are based on Luke 2:40..”And the child grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom and the grace of God was upon Him.” Is your Advent calendar filled with candy or treats, do you open the door to receive a sweet, or do you open the door to taste and see that the Lord is good…add a short Scripture reading to each day.

I – Intentional: Mary was intentional about her preparation…she asked the angel a specific question in v. 34 of Chapter 1, “how will this be”. In v. 39 of that same Chapter, Mary got ready and hurried to Elizabeth's home. We receive so many invitations and offers, we have so many commitments this time of year, each student has a concert or performance, the angel choir is singing, the company Christmas party, the ladies Christmas brunch….the list goes on and on….but we need to be intentional with our time…Determine in your heart and mind ahead of time what you will and wont participate in, the activities you do and don’t have time for….and I promise you, it is easier if you keep in mind that you want to Worship the Savior this year rather than Celebrate a Season.

M – Memorable: Luke 2:19, But Mary, Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart”….The word treasured in that verse in the Greek means to “preserve” or “to make a memory of”…Mary made a memory of these things…..Is my Christmas memorable to me and my children, or do I want to forget them at the end of December and rush into January….am I making memories?
P – Purposeful: in verse 31 – 33, Mary receives her purpose, and she then lives the rest of her life fulfilling that purpose. If my purpose is to Worship the Savior this December, then the commitments I make, events I attend and gifts I give should be fulfilling that purpose….what is my purpose behind baking 15 types of cookies..? To bless the neighbors with a plate, or to win the Betty Crocker award? What is my purpose for attending all of those events….to be the Christmas Queen, to impress someone else, or because it’s an opportunity to witness to the lost world around me…? What is your purpose…?

L – Lasting/Eternal: Mary had an eternal perspective…in v. 33, the angel told Mary, he (the son you will bear) Jesus will reign over the house of Jacob forever and his kingdom will never end. Is what I am doing to prepare this Advent season temporal or eternal….do those 15 different types of cookies have any eternal value….Yes, if they are given with a card that shares the true meaning of Christmas, but No, if they are just for the neighborhood cookie exchange. Luke 2:19 again says Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart….What are you treasuring up this Christmas…? Matthew 6:19 - 24 tells us, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

E – Enjoyable: In the midst of announcement, anticipation and arrival…Mary pondered which in the Greek means “to meditate, to think quietly, soberly, deeply” “ to appraise, to weigh in the mind the value of”…Mary sat in the straw of a stable, cuddled the Savior and enjoyed….as the angels around her rejoiced, the shepherds beside her shard, and she enjoyed…..

I pray you have “A Mary Christmas”….May you Worship the Savior!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on December 4, 2010

The Money Challenge

2010-11-23T22:34:00.000-05:00

As we enter the joyous season of Christmas and all the holiday festivities that go along with the celebration, I want to challenge each of you in the area of your finances. I know some of you are already formulating your resolutions so that 2011 can be a bigger better year for you and your families, so this challenge is a winner. Oh, it is also really easy too. I got this from my cousin and fellow blogger, Toot! Shout out to her! Hey! She
borrowed the idea from one of her YouTube subscribers. I know you all know that I am brilliant but I can't take credit for this wonderful idea.

Here's how it works. On the first week you save $1. No, that wasn't a typo, you only need to save $1. The second week you save $2. The third week $3. Do you see the pattern yet? The amount of money being saved coincides with the week that you are saving it. So for the first say month or so, you are putting away less money than one cup of some fancy smancy Starbucks concoction. At the most, $52 is what you will sacrifice, I'm not sure if you can actually visualize the savings, but at the end of the challenge you'll have over $1300. Just think if you start now, you will have a lovely amount of cash with which to spend on Christmas gifts. I think you might even still be able to reach it just in time to hang out with the masses at the Black Friday ~~mass chaos~~ sales. If that isn't your thing, you can have a great amount to go on a mice trip. or you can save it and start all over again. We aren't talking financial freedom here but.....if you play your cards right and say, open an interest bearing account into which you deposit your money whenever it reaches say $50, you will have a nice chunk of change to play with. What an accomplishment! You will thank me later! So what do you say? Are you up to it? Let's get it then! Keep me posted on your progress. I am on week 3.

On a side note, I am typing this blog with a heavy heart. Today would have been my Daddy's 66th birthday. I have all kinds of memories of him. I miss talking to him and I miss his cooking. That man could make his plate look better than everyone else's. He was a good confidante and he really was non-judgemental. Every now I then, I could use his perspective on a bunch of things. RIP Gerald William Cole, Sr. AKA "Butch." Anyhoo, I am ending now before I cry again. Have a blessed Thanksgiving!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on November 23, 2010

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

2010-11-13T10:58:00.000-05:00

Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is the unexpected, sudden death of a child under age 1 in which an autopsy does not show an explainable cause of death. Another common name for SIDS is crib death. There are no symptoms. Babies who die of SIDS do not appear to suffer or struggle. The cause of SIDS is unknown, although there are several theories. Many doctors and researchers now believe that SIDS is not a single condition that is always caused by the same medical problems, but infant death caused by several different factors. These factors may include problems with sleep arousal or an inability to sense a build-up of carbon dioxide in the blood. Almost all SIDS deaths occur without any warning or symptoms when the infant is thought to be sleeping. SIDS is most likely to occur between 2 and 4 months of age, and 90% occur by 6 months of age. It occurs more often in winter months, with the peak in January. There is also a greater rate of SIDS among Native and African Americans. SIDS affects boys more often than girls.

There are also other factors which can increase the risk of SIDS. The factors are as follows: Babies who sleep on their stomachs. Babies who are around cigarette smoke while in the womb or after being born. Babies who sleep in the same bed as their parents. Babies who have soft bedding in the crib. Multiple birth babies (being a twin, triplet, etc.). Premature babies. Babies who have a brother or sister who had SIDS. Mothers who smoke or use illegal drugs. Teen mothers. Short time period between pregnancies. Late or no prenatal care. Situations of poverty. SIDS remains a significant cause of death in infants under one year old. Thousands of babies die of SIDS in the United States each year.

Preventative measures for SIDS, includes putting infants to sleep on their backs, avoiding soft bedding material, and avoiding hot room temperatures. Babies should sleep in cribs with firm tight fitting mattresses free of pillows and comforters. The environment should be smoke free.

So why the need for a blog on SIDS? Well it is personal. On October 12, 2010, Julius Luciano Torres, our great nephew, was suddenly taken from his extremely loving parents and it was ruled that SIDS was the reason. Our hearts break for Tiffany and Dennis every day. Julius was so handsome(see pic below) and they only got to spend 4.5 months with him. So to pay honor to a beautiful but way to short life, I felt necessary to educate you. I don't know what the pain feels like for them but I know that being a parent causes you to step out of yourself and love another human being in a way that you can't even imagine till that bundle of comes into your life.

Dennis and Tiffany are young and they are deeply saddened with a pain many of us will never experience. While we go on with our lives, they are still reeling and trying to handle their grief on a daily basis. Not a day goes by though that I don't utter a small prayer of comfort for them and ask God to give them what they need for that moment because each moment is a test of their fortitude. Sometimes that is what you need, strength for the moment which eventually will become hours, days, and weeks where God has carried you through those dark times. They already know that they can't deal with the holidays because their grief is too raw. In recognizing this, they have decided to give charitable donations in Julius' honor in lieu of gifts to their family members. If you are considering any donations before the year end or at any time, please consider Julius' Memorial Fund.

Julius Luciano Torres
May 30, 2010-October 12, 2010

Parents:
Tiffany and Dennis Torres
123 Shadow Ct. SW, Huntsville, AL 35824

Donations can be made online at: www.sids.org/online/index.html .
Or checks can be mailed to: American SIDS Institute, 528 Raven Way, Naples, Florida 34110

They will appreciate the gesture of kindness. Till next time, peace and blessings to each of you.

For Colored Girls

2010-11-11T15:39:00.000-05:00

Rare is the opportunity for me to see a movie the very weekend that it comes out but I got to see this one. I had a date night with my husband. We went to see Tyler Perry's latest production, For Colored Girls. The movie was an adaptation of Ntozake Shange's, For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf, written in 1975. It was also a Broadway production in 1976. The subject matter was critically acclaimed and extremely successful in terms of its relevant content.

I read the book years ago, so I knew that the subject matter was deeply intense. I wondered how it would translate into film, especially at the hands of Tyler Perry. I like Tyler but I know I've said it before, the endings of his movies leave much to be desired. Seeing how he did not write this film, I was a bit excited. By all accounts, he put together a varied but talented cast to pull the movie off. The cast consisted of old and new actresses, male and females in various hues. Most importantly, he did not pen the film.

I liked the movie. It deals with some dark issues, so if you are looking to laugh, there will be few of those. Each woman in the film has an issue that she is dealing with and she also has a color assigned(for lack of a better word) to her. In each case, there is a man involved, some visible, some not. The story is still relevant today just in a different way. You do have to pay attention to the poetry which is weaved into the dialogue. It is done in an appropriate manner and it also clarifies some of the things going on in the film. SN: There were two women who exited the theater at the same time we did and were complaining about the use of poetry. I wanted to scream at their ignorance! The book itself is composed of poetry and prose so that is a no brainer! Let me reiterate that exposure is EVERYTHING!!!

I am not going to give aspects of the film away. I would encourage you to check out the book which is only about 80 pages in length so the movie really makes sense to you. If you don't read it, pay attention to the dialogue, especially when it switches to poetry. I am at odds with the fact that Janet Jackson's name appeared first in the opening of the film. Everyone else in the film was placed in alphabetical order. Is she supposed to be the star? I certainly don't think she is an actress of that caliber, nor do I think she deserved to be billed over most of the seasoned actresses. (Y'all know TP must be hitting that A$$). Her acting was mediocre at best. Her over done red lipstick was killing me.

Some of the story lines are easier to follow than others. Others are also more captivating and easier to translate to film. For example, Whoopi's storyline is only made clear by listening to her argument with her daughter, played by Thandie Newton. I kept having Celie flashbacks during her monologue. If there is to be any discussion of awards, hands down, I think it should go to Kimberly Elise, followed by Anika Noni Rose. I had a discussion with my cousin about this and she disagreed but mainly because the movie felt choppy. After I explained why, she was in agreement with my assessment. Kimberly Elise has the most comprehensive role when you consider all that she is dealing with in the movie and she plays the complexities of the role quite flawlessly. I have long said that she is one of the most under-rated actresses of our time. Anika Noni Rose's performance is also spot on. It is her monologue which is painstakingly delivered to Hill Harper(who seems a bit aloof) which makes me realize that she has talent that we've not even begun to see. Macy Gray has a small role in the film, but it seems as if the role is tailor made for her. She has a knack for the offbeat, quirky, and dramatic. She doesn't disappoint.

I am not saying that the remaining actresses don't act well. For the most part they do. Loretta Devine's role is probably one of the lightest in the film and she delivers in making you laugh but still gives you something to think about(Take back your stuff!). Tessa Thompson, is a newcomer. I'd like to see where she will go from here. Thandie Newton has a varied resume so to me she was the wild card for the film. While tortured, her role might have been the most fun to execute. Phylicia Rashad paid a nosy matronly old bitty who holds things together. Do we expect anything less from Claire Huxtable? I think not. Kerry Washington is one of my favorites, unfortunately, I wasn't really feeling her in this role. Her relationship with Hill Harper doesn't come off as believable to me and her emotions don't ring true with what she is enduring through the film. What I do appreciate is how Tyler Perry connected all the women because you do start out wondering how they will all end up together. It is not a tidy neat little package but pain hurt, depression, and drama that draws the women in this story together.

So that is my generic take on the film. I want you to see it and share your opinion. I don't want to give away the film. I know many of my readers and I know they haven't yet had the opportunity to see the film. I am going to see it again with my girl, Sonja. I am sure she will have a wealth of opinions for me to consider that differ from my own. I hate when people ruin the good(or not so good stuff) for me so, I am holding back. Holla at me and tell me what you think. Are there going to be awards? for whom? Did Tyler Perry do justice to the film? I love a good debate or another train of thought. Till next time, think about the women in your life. They have all been through or will g through some drama in life that just might take them to the thought of suicide. Let's pray that there is a support system to draw them back and whisper new life into their situation!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on November 11, 2010

About Suicide

2010-11-05T16:30:00.002-04:00

In my neighborhood, there have been a number of teen suicides. The issue concerns me for many reasons. Most of the victims have been males under the age of 19. It saddens me that anyone finds their life in such a hopeless state that they would consider ending it. There are a number of statistics that I can give you but I am only going to share a few.

Over one million people commit suicide every year. The World Health Organization estimates that it is the thirteenth-leading cause of death worldwide. It is a leading cause of death among teenagers and adults under 35.There are an estimated 10 to 20 million non-fatal attempted suicides every year worldwide.

No one is immune to suicide and the long term impact it can have on a school or community. I had a conversation with my 12 year old and her attitude on the subject was rather cavalier and a little selfish too. It made me realize that sometimes children really don't have a grasp of the global impact of their actions. Suicide leaves a slew of grief stricken victims in its wake. Not only is the family hurt, but there are friends, teachers, and acquaintances who will be left with questions and various emotions to deal with.

If you are a teen or adult who feels such a state of despair, please talk to someone. Life is precious. The suicide hot line number is 1-800-273-8255. God has a plan for your life and in Him you can find hope, peace, and the answers to life's most pressing issues. I know it sounds so easy to say. I don't take any one's plight lightly. Your perception is your reality. I just know, things can always be worse. They really can. I challenge you to take a chance and give life another opportunity. Taking a step to admit you need help, is a HUGE step to getting things right in your life. Right doesn't mean perfect. Despite how things appear, no person has a perfect life. Let me repeat, the suicide hot line number is 1-800-273-8255. Let someone bless you!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on November 5, 2010

PSA

2010-11-02T11:58:00.000-04:00

Today is Election Day! Big deal, right? Yeah, it is a big deal, especially if you are an African American or a woman. People fought, bled, and even died for you to exercise that right. You can't complain about the shituation if you don't let your own voice be heard. I understand the complacent attitudes...it takes way too long to see change in the political arena. I agree. What we need to be seeking is term limits for both Senate and Congress. I think twelve years is enough for all of them. It would alleviate a climate of not getting anything done. Ahh, but I digress...probably a future blog but surely, you are all sick of stopping progress for the sake of being contentious(i.e. the President is of a different political affiliation). So anyhoo, I am imploring you to go to the polls and let your voice be heard. We may not agree politically but it is still important. So that's it. I have no more to say! ROCK THE VOTE!

My Roles, Defined

2010-10-28T22:46:00.000-04:00

Hey Y'all...My last post was about who I am as a person. I left some stuff out but if you follow me, you probably have a fairly decent grasp of some things that I failed to mention. I mentioned that we aren't defined by what we do. We all have roles, and today, I thought I'd share some of those with you. So not only will you know who I am as a person but also what roles I play in my life.

I am a Child of God. As such, it is my responsibility to live a life pleasing to Him. If I can achieve that daily, everything else should fall in to place. I also have a duty to share the love of Christ with others and the fact that he died on the cross to save sinners and we are all sinners in need of a Saviour. I am working on the sharing part.

I am a wife. I married one of my best friends almost 15 years ago. I wrote a post on Dmitri in May. I love that man and I expect to grow old with him. Our marriage has had its share of ups and downs. I am no quitter and we fight daily to maintain the love we have for each other. Satan would like nothing better than to destroy the one relationship that Christ chose to reflect His with the church.

I am a mother, a Stay at Home one at that. Lawd, Lawd, Lawd! That has to be one of the most stressful roles entrusted to me. Chante and Dmitri II are two of the greatest gifts that God blessed me with. They drive me nuts. They make me laugh and cry and scream. At the end of the day, I simply want to raise God-fearing, healthy children who can function well in life. I want them to make good decisions and respect others and I want them to impact their community for the better. Encompassed in this role are several others: motivational speaker, chauffeur, psychologist, maid, chef, event planner, doctor, lawyer, and keeper of things. I'm sure I left some role out but you get the idea. I can't believe that I used to work full time and still do all these things. Ahh but I am a woman, an African-American woman, and we have done this since the beginning of time. The trick is to learn to not forget me in the midst of all the other roles.

I am a daughter(and a grand-daughter). My mom and my 96 year old grandma are the greatest influences in my life. I feel both of them have impacted my life for the best. They have equipped me to be a survivor no despite the circumstances that come my way. My mom raised my brother, Gerald and I, with little money and a whole lot of family support. She instilled great values and pride in both of us. She raised us to be independent and resilient. She encouraged us to embrace our family, speak up, and remain true to our beliefs. My grandmother is quiet but very wise. She made things happen without being overbearing and she always reminded me to trust God and pray. She taught me that we can have peace even when things aren't going well.

I am a sister. I love my siblings. I wished I lived closer to my crazy brother. His life is undergoing a serious change and I am very happy to see that happen. I just wish I could witness it up close and personally. I live close to my half sister. There is a 12 year difference in our ages and we did not grow up in the same house(or state for that matter). We are not as close as I would like us to be. Perhaps with time all things will change...I might eventually live closer to Gerald and I might eventually be closer to Stephanie. My father's wish was that we would be close and remain that way.

I am a friend. I love my friends. I have been blessed with a diverse, unique, and dynamic group of women who pray for me, encourage me, and love me for who I am. Every friendship has its own flavor but I wouldn't trade any of the women in my life. They each influence me to do better and be better. I can laugh, cry, eat, and drop my basket with almost everyone of them. I trust them and I value their opinions. Some of them are the sister I didn't have growing up. Shout outs to Sonja, Rose, Dana, Nikki, Jai, Tracie, Dorna, Monica C, Carlene, Monique, Mina, and Jeanine. Each of you hold a very special place in my heart. This list is by no means representative of all the friendships that I maintain. I don't wish to offend anyone who is my friend and does not appear on this list, but with the exception of four of these names, every one of the women has been in my life for over 20 years. The other four women have come into my life in the past 5 years and have greatly impacted me for the better. I am most transparent with these women and yes, they do convict and challenge me when I am in a fit of craziness. :) I thank God for them daily because they have stood with me through the good, the bad, and especially the ugly. Some folks don't have one good friend so I know that it is a blessing to have several.

I am a niece, a cousin, an aunt, and a sister in law. I have a lot of family. I don't live near most of them and I hate that I am missing out on seeing some of them grow or experiencing a true relationship not hindered by e-mail, Facebook, or even text messages. My kids will probably not have close relationships with a lot of their family because they are scattered all over the United States. We need family reunions all around. My family is very supportive of me and my children despite our distance.

I am a blogger. If you are reading this, you know I have a purpose for developing and writing this blog. SN: this role could encompass the fact that I am a repressed English teacher and a future author. Blogging has been a good outlet for me.

I am a foodie. I love good food! It is one of the things my hubby and I have in common. My favorite foods are crab cakes, macaroni and cheese, peach cobbler, and ice cream. I like good chocolate and I love tea. I don't do much coffee. I like to cook and bake. I am a Pepsi lover and I like vodka or rum if alcohol is involved. By the way, I make an excellent daiquiri(sangria too).

I am a bibliophile. I love, love, love to read. Yep, I said it before and I will continue to say it again and again...Reading is fundamental. Books are easy to find and you can borrow them from the library. Translation, it is a free habit(cheap, cheap, cheap). You need a recommendation, I have posted a couple of book lists and I have mentioned several of my absolute favs in previous blogs.

Well that covers the basics. I could go on and on. Like most of you, I wear several hats every day. I try to do every one of them to the best of my God given ability. Embrace the life you live. Roles are just that, a part you play in the journey of life. They change daily, some are permanent and some are temporary. God doesn't give us more than we can bear so wherever you are and whatever station, that you are in, stay the course. Your role does not define the essence of who you are. Till next time, think about who you are as well as the roles that you play. There is a difference, you know. Have a lovely weekend!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on October 28, 2010

I am Who I Am

2010-10-22T12:29:00.004-04:00

Someone asked me to define who I was. You know, it really isn't a difficult task for me. I am in my fabulous forties and I am more than comfortable in my own skin. I am very self aware and I want to be the best(pick a role) _________ that I can be. I want to also constantly evolve and to always be whole, not damaged by the circumstances of my past. I think I am consistent in my character and if you know me, what you see is what you get. Well, not really, like most people, I am complicated but my essence, my core, is consistent.

Pamela, that is me. I have so many roles but that is not what I'm defining. People, remember you are not defined by what you do. That is a lesson that should be learned really early on. It is sad to see someone struggle to define them self when they can't tell you what they do. Your job tells me nothing about who you are as a person. It is easy to put a laundry list of roles out there but that gives no indication of your character or integrity.

So here goes. Pamela is a grown woman. I love the Lord. I am a sinner saved by grace who is trying to improve spiritually each and every day. I am not preachy but I try to live a life walking in faith that God will do everything that He promises in His Word. I don't understand everything He does but I trust that it will all work out for good. I am trying to raise my children to stand on and rest in His promises.

I love to laugh and make people laugh. I love to feed people. I love to cook. Right now, I am not in a space to be the hospitable person I used to be. It bothers me to some extent. I love people. I am loyal to my friends. I have high expectations of them too. I am opinionated. I have learned to be more tactful than I was in my twenties. I dispense advice and I try to be as politically correct as possible. I am deliberate in trying to do the right thing. I love hard and I expect to be loved hard and with fierce loyalty. My moral integrity is pretty high. I don't do things to people that I wouldn't want done to me. I hate violence and malicious nastiness. SN: if I have ever hurt you, it wasn't intentional. Accept my sincere apology.

I HATE liars. Honesty is the best policy even though truth often hurts. I'd prefer you tell me nothing rather than lie to me. I am an extrovert and I have a very discerning spirit. I value my family. No matter what happens, it really is all you have. Despite dysfunction and everything, a family should be able to come together and put their differences aside. There is a reason we are not supposed to go to bed angry and that we are supposed to forgive others. I believe that we need to go back to the concept of it taking a village to raise a child. We need to stop being self contained and reach out to others.

I used to trust easily but now I have had enough life experience that I am a tad more cynical. I say what I have to say and I move on. I don't hold grudges. Life really is too short to sweat the small stuff. God chooses to forget our offenses and we should do the same. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I'd never cheat on my husband and am not pleased by those who do.

I am a procrastinator but it works for me and I always get what need to get done by the deadline. Drives my husband crazy! I will put off unpleasant interactions especially if I know what I have to say is going to be detrimental or something that can't be recovered from. See, the truth really does hurt. I don't use people and I have a really hard time asking for help. I am a survivor, not of any disease r illness but by nature. I bounce back. I don't worry and I don't stress. I like my sleep, I only tend to get 6.5 hours or so a night so I can't let Satan keep me from the refreshing rest God has set aside for me. You know God does His best ministry in the quiet of night.

My love language is acts of service. Yes, it really does bless my heart if you do something for me. I love cards and I get ticked off if I receive one that does not match the relationship that we have. I am proud of my heritage but I am not an authority on all things African American. I am extremely literate and have an excellent grasp of the King's English though I will use slang and even Ebonics from time to time. I am down to earth with a flair for some things trendy and all things nice. If you are going to do something do it right. Don't half step on your commitments and don't be cheap with your friends. Don't be selfish with your time, talent or gifts. Change your words, you can change your destiny. If you can't change your words, change your thoughts. Most of all, prayer changes everything. We should all have scars on our knees, not our tongues. I am a positive individual who believes all things get better and the glass is always half full. So that's it. I think I covered the gamut. In the famous words of Popeye, "I AM WHO I AM!" Love me or leave me. Don't take me for granted!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on October 22, 2010

Bullies...Whup Dat A--!!!

2010-10-19T09:11:00.000-04:00

Dorna has a lot on her mind. The latest of which is bullying. The topic is in the news lately because of several suicides that have occurred as a result of such intolerable behavior. Sometimes parents have to take less than favorable stands on behalf of their children. Bullying is a coward's tactic. Enough of my opinion, this is Dorna's blog. Feel free to comment on Dorna's opinion.

Most of us heard the story of James Jones, the Florida father who stormed his 13 year-old cerebral palsy daughter’s bus to confront students who had been bullying her. Mr. Jones was arrested for his profanity laced outburst, for which he was released on $2000 bail and subsequently apologized. Mr. Jones’ behavior has been questioned and commented on with a resounding majority feeling he did the wrong thing for the right reason. Based on the comments I’ve read regarding the incident on CNN, !Yahoo News, and USA Today, people are very sympathetic to Mr. Jones’ reaction. Mr. Jones reacted as a father who has learned his daughter had been bullied for sometime; causing her to skip school to avoid her tormentors because she couldn’t deal with the problem. To make matters worse, the onset of the bullying began because she was defending someone else from bullying! I bet you Mr. Jones’ internal thought was “Ah hell naw!” I hazard to guess most parents would have a similar reaction.

My daughter is 17 years old in her senior year in Peachtree City, GA. Recently, she became embroiled in “girl drama” resulting in the breakdown of friendship between her and some of the “young ladies” (I use this term loosely). Lorin, realized the friendships were not true friendships and was okay with the loss. However, the “young ladies” began loud talking and taunting her on the bus and at school encouraging others to join in. It came to a head one afternoon, when they were to get off the bus and Lorin realized they were all walking toward our house to continue taunting and/or fight her. Lorin informed the bus driver that she was not getting off the bus and would get off at a different stop with another girlfriend and have me pick her up. The bus driver told her she had to get off there and could not get off at the other stop because she didn’t have a note. Lorin called me on her cell; the bus driver REFUSED to speak with me and continued to insist Lorin get off. Lorin refused and the bus driver eventually ended up turning the bus around and taking her (and everyone still on the bus) back to the school.

To say I was livid is an understatement!! I could not BELIEVE my child was being informed to head into harm’s way when she is asking for help from a supposedly responsible ADULT!! I have to say, God looked out for all involved that day, especially me!! He know if I had been at home (I had just started a new job that day), Mr. Jones’ behavior would have seemed mild in comparison to what would have occurred if I had showed up at Lorin’s bus stop!! As the kids say, it would have been on and popping!! As it is, I still want to cuss and smack the heck out of the girls, other students on the bus, and the bus driver!!

When my daughter arrived back at the school, she was able to see the principal and informed of her of what had occurred. The principal ordered Peer Mediation for the next day, but the “bullying” is still occurring. Even though I’ve met with one of the girl’s mother, the guidance counselor and spoken with two other administrators, things are still not right. Oh, and the bus driver, no action against her and I’m still waiting for a call back from the supervisor!! So, I have told my child ignore the heffas…I mean “young ladies”, however if they put their hands on her she is to “whup dat ass!!” She may not win, but let them know she’s not having it!! Now, I agree that violence doesn’t solve everything, but I think that’s the only language bullies understand!! Speaking in calm, rational tones will only incur more bullying. We know the major reasons bullies act as they do is because they are insecure about their own intelligence and place in the world. They are Satan’s minions in my estimation…they seek, kill, and destroy…another person’s self worth!!

I was not a bully growing up and was not a bullied. Bullying is as old as Cain and Abel, but I think it has moved to a more active level with the advent of some technology and the breakdown of civility in today’s society. I believe because we are no longer allowed to assist with “raising” each other’s children, the ability for bullies and children in general to get away with bad behavior has become more prevalent. Parents are not teaching good citizenship at home. Not to mention, TV and the Internet are not putting positive messages out on respectful behavior. The reality shows alone teach nothing but ignorance and disrespectfulness; to themselves and others.

As a parent, I have always taught Lorin to treat others with respect and courtesy; to have compassion for others. One of the things I have discovered as of late is that she doesn’t understand even if she isn’t the perpetrator of wrong to someone; laughing and/or saying nothing makes her just as complicit. It helps perpetuate bullying. Granted it may be funny to you, but it ceases to be funny when someone is hurt by the words and/or actions!! I have been trying to get her to see that she would not appreciate some of the things said if they were said to her!! She has to set an example by not reacting negatively and sometimes having to speak up for someone even when it’s not popular.

I totally empathize with Mr. Jones and have no issue with how he handled the situation. . I personally, feel Mr. Jones should be given an award and the tape of him “speaking” to the bullies be played to children all over the world!! The bus driver KNEW his daughter was being harassed. It’s her job to be aware of what’s going on and if she says she didn’t know, I have to say she’s lying. The school probably knew also and failed to take any action, probably because their hands are so tied with all of the legal crap they have to deal with to keep from being sued because they don’t want to infringe on upon some bad ass student’s right 30 years ago (maybe even 20) a parent having to involve themselves would have called for beatings all around. I don’t know about others, but if my mama came to the bus stop (or the school grounds), all involved would answer to her and THEN answer to their own parents. NOBODY would be sitting down for awhile!! Kudos to Mr. Jones in making sure his daughter’s tormentors were addressed!!

So how do we stop bullying? I go back to my battle cry “Elders take our village back”!! Don’t let the “rights” of children “bully” us (adults) into accepting bad and/or disrespectful behavior!! Be an example of good citizenship!! And most of all, PRAY… “correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.” 2Timothy 4:2.

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on October 19, 2010

Random

2010-10-17T22:44:00.003-04:00

I haven't done a random post about me lately so I thought I'd post one for your reading pleasure.

1. Welcome back to the blogoshpere, Toot! That's my cuzzo who has a blog but has been ~~ignoring~~ neglecting it lately. She has not been neglecting her YouTube videos. You can check her out at http://www.handbagshairandheels.blogspot.com/ or view her videos under AKAKristin. You will defenitely be entertained!

2. My son has an African American teacher. He's in the 4th grade. This is relevant because I think it is important to have diversity, especially in schools. One, it validates him as a person. Two it affirms in him that he can be a teacher. SN: I am wishing for a male teacher because he hasn't seen one of them except in PE and music. Third, it lessens the chance that he will be subject to concious or unconcious stereotyping and bias. I could be wrong, but I know this is important.

3. I haven't worked out since July 4th. I feel guilty. I am not motivated. That's terrible because I was dedicated and lost a whole 25 pounds. I am happy to report that I've only gained back 3 of them. I am going to get back on the grind because I need to. Pray for me to get motivated.

4. I love Utz potato chips. If you don't live in the DMV, chances are you haven't had them. Take my word for it they are the best. For my Lays fans, don't even try to tell me I'm wrong.

5. I also love Jamocha Almond Fudge ice cream from Baskin Robbins. Gold Medal Ribbon and Strawberry Banana take second and third place respectively.

6. My happy places: a good praise and worship service, Barnes and Noble, the beach, Hallmark store, a good shoe store, and the library.

7. Music really does minister to me. My Ipod has some serious playlists to uplift one's soul.

8. Honeycrisp Apples are in season! PTL! Okay, I know I am talking about an apple here but seriously folks, those bad boys are some kinda good! They are the perfect sweet, tart, and crunch. Try one and you will agree. I have to warn you that Honeycrisps are a little more expensive but they are well worth it. Oh, you can't get them all year. Now is the time and if you are lucky, you can get them till about December. 8lb Honeycrisp Crate is $39.95 on Amazon, if you can't find them in your area.

9. If it is Autumn, then my favorite soda, other than Pepsi is also available. Cranberry Sierra Mist is awesome.

10. I am looking forward to seeing Tyler Perry's latest movie, due out Nov. 5. 2010. For Colored Girls is his adaptation of Ntozake Shange's acclaimed novel, For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf. Let's pray he does it justice. Sonja, don't forget, it is a date. Any of you out there feel free to join us.

As I review this post, I am cracking up. First, I am asking you all to pray for me to get back on the workout grind and then I proceed to talk about food for the majority of the remainder of the post. Go figure! Anyhoo, I am trying to get my mojo back. My daughter has been trying my patience and I have lots going on. I thank God that I am sane and can handle life's challenges. Teen girls are a trip and a half. I do have several blogs in my head and hopefully they will make it to post really soon! Till then, please bless someone and don't take the little things for granted! Peace!

Copyright by Pamela Cole Thorpe on October 17, 2010

Out of the Doghouse

2010-10-09T22:29:00.000-04:00

Cinnamon and Spike were our pets up until this morning. I have written about both of them in previous posts. They were both very loving loyal pets. My children loved them immensely. Their love however, didn't translate into them taking care of the dogs in a responsible way.

I gave my children ample warning and several opportunities to prove that they were capable of loving and caring for the pooches. Let me put out this disclaimer....I never neglected the dogs at all. I was always clear that with the addition of a new pet, I was not going to bear the brunt of the care for a dog that I really didn't want. We have had Cinnamon since 2005 and she is a typical beagle, lazy and rather easy-going. She fit like a glove in our family. Last year, Spike became a member of our illustrious family, much to my dismay. I did not want another pet because I knew my family wouldn't be able to handle a high maintenance pet. Hubby vetoed my well thought-out, highly logical argument against the new addition. Let's just say, I always know best. Spike required more interaction than Cinnamon and the novelty of that neediness wore off really quickly. Spike was an American bulldog. As such, he needed to be walked daily and played with frequently. Yeah, that didn't happen! It resulted in Spike amusing himself by way of chewing any and everything in his wake. Spike was like a curious child who destroyed items with a benign innocent nature.

As I stated before, both dogs were loving and loyal. Cinnamon loved any and everyone and could easily be satisfied with a good belly rub. She was pretty smart and quite sufficient. Don't play around and try to walk her too long in the heat. Cinnamon would sit down and look at you like you were the crazy one. Spike was not quite as open to strangers. Spike was afraid of most people but warmed up pretty quickly to children. He would follow me all over the house, often getting in my way. I referred to Spike as a tough dumb jock of a dog. Sweet as pie but not a clue in the world.

Alas, we took them to a shelter. Yes, I felt bad! Yes, I was even sad. No, I would not miss the dilemma of what to do when we travel away for days at a time. Nor would I miss the high vet, food, and kennel bills. I won't miss the dog hair being all over my furniture. Pet ownership is NO joke!!!! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It really is serious business. My children had meltdowns. They implored me to go back and get their dogs from the shelter. A sadness prevailed in our house. Yet, I know I did the right thing.

My daughter thought that because I threatened and procrastinated, we would never get rid of our pooches. She failed to realize this was an opportunity to further prove that they could handle the responsibility of owning a pet. Pets are not objects who exist for your own pleasure. They need more than love to survive. My brother made an excellent point, if we as parents failed to meet our childrens' needs, they can call child protective services to intervene on their behalf. Our dogs don't have that ability so I had to make a call on their behalf.

So Cinnamon and Spike this post is dedicated to you. We had had some great times, good laughs, and lots of memories. I wish you the best in your new family situation. I hope that your new owners are kind and considerate and never forget to feed you or give you water. I hope they walk you and expose you to new things. The Thorpe family loves you always. Parting is such sweet sorrow. Parents have to make tough decisions and stick to them. That said, we close his chapter of our lives. Till next time, pray for my family. Drama, drama, drama!! There is always fallout from every decision. Ciao!

Rules

2010-10-07T13:01:00.000-04:00

Hey! I am not on top of my blogging game this week(got plenty on my mind, just haven't typed it all out) but my girl Dorna was. She had some things on her mind. So I present you with a guest blog. Dorna, like myself, welcomes feedback. Let us know what you think!

Rules

I have had several conversations with my boyfriend about what he feels is my disdain of following rules. According to him, I don’t follow rules or totally disregard them if I don’t like them. Unfortunately, he is not the only one of that opinion about me. Recently, I asked my boss what the protocol was for a certain method of communication and his response to me was, “Oh, now you want to follow the rules!!” So, I’ve been giving some reflection as to why the perception prevails (because it’s most certainly not true!!) Here are some of the thoughts that have come to me: 1). Most rules are short sighted; rule makers don’t always consider future possibilities. 2) The rule makers aren’t always the correct (or brightest for that matter) people to make the rules. 3) A lot of the time rules are too absolute; other than the 10 commandments, I’m not sure why I would follow everything to the letter. 4) A lot of rules are just plain stupid; but that goes back to my theory there are way more stupid people in the world than smart; therefore rule makers are stupid!!

One definition of Merriam-Webster’s definition of a rule is “a prescribed guide for conduct or action”. Another one is “an accepted procedure, custom, or habit” and finally, “the exercise of authority or control”. Now I realize that rules are part of everything we do in life otherwise we would have anarchy and chaos. So, I understand the need for rules but they should really be more guidelines allowing some flexibility. The more I pondered on this “rules thing”, I also realized most people don’t think rules should not be challenged!! I think that is probably my issue more than anything. For those who know me, things have to make some sort of sense to ME and if it doesn’t questions will be raised. The answer, “that’s the rule” is just not sufficient for me!! And that’s usually because the explanation has no basis in sound thinking, not my concern or it’s just plain stupid!! I often find myself asking someone when I’m challenging a rule/guideline/process “Does that make sense to you?” (What I’m actually thinking, “Seriously who came up with this crap?”) or “I’m the first person to have issue with this? These questions generally result in the “huh” look or “Ma’am you’re the only one who’s ever had an issue with this” or “Look lady (witch), you’ll have to take this up with someone else” (translate: get out of my face!) or “No, but that’s the rule”. These answers frustrate me to no end!

So, what I’ve determined is the majority of people will do as told without question. Going back to Merriam-Webster’s definition, rules are “accepted custom” (by the majority) to”exercise control” (by the rule makers). But here’s the thing, I use my “prescribed for conduct or action” based on my experience or what makes sense to ME!! I don’t necessarily know the rules because I don’t think like the rule makers and I’m never the rule maker (except in my home). I go blithely through life being Dorna and then BAM…I run into “the rules”. Rules not made by me or had my input. Rules made for those who don’t always want to think. Rules that don’t necessarily make sense to anyone other than the rule maker!

As a result of all this reflection, I submit I’m not a rule breaker but a rule challenger !! I invite everyone to question the rules also. Don’t always go with the flow, because crap flows downhill!!

As Pam says…be a blessing!!

Copyright October7, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

What About the Church??

2010-09-30T09:52:00.003-04:00

Yes there is drama in the church! Lots of it! By now, we are all well aware of the scandal that has rocked Atlanta's mega church New Birth and it's Bishop Eddie Long. Initially I was going to make the blog about his inexcusable behavior. I think my space would be better utilized by me stating how things like this blight the church as a whole. It is not an African American church crisis, it is a church crisis. It is just one of many issues plaguing the church.

As parishioners, we have to be careful not to esteem our church leaders to a place reserved solely for God. Too many times, we place too much emphasis on the church leader as opposed to the church ministry. The church is not the pastor, it is the body. When the pastor stumbles, which he will, because he too, is simply a sinner saved by grace, the work of the church must continue. In Long's case, I believe he needs to sit down until his issues are worked out. He needs to be ministered to and encouraged. Souls still need to be saved, baby Christians still need to be nourished in order for growth, and other successful ministries still need to thrive.

The problem with church leaders falling from a place of grace, is it is really damaging for the testimony of church and the church body as a whole. One, we look like hypocrites. Two, there are folks struggling with their identity in Christ(as well as other areas) and some of the messages that the Bible teaches. Third, we really don't want to send baby Christians in the wrong direction.

Some of our greatest damaging behavior occurs in the church. The church is not a social club for saved folks, it is supposed to be a hospital for sinners. According to the Word, "All have sinned and fallen short"(Romans 3:23) So we are all sinners in need of God's mercy and grace. So, none of us saved for a really long time folks, have the right to judge those who took a little longer in their journey to get to know Christ. Perfect example, you are in your finest threads, dressed to the nines, church hat cocked to the side and in walks a scruffy looking brother or sister in jeans and t-shirt. How do you react? Do you welcome with open arms? or do you pull your purse closer and act as if there is no room on your row? Heck, I've been dressed real cute and had people who felt entitled to "their seat" not move. What happened to the love? Love is the true basis for the church's existence.

We know lots of folks attend to church because it is simply the right thing to do. They zip in and zip out with no regard for real ministry. Ministry means you are dealing with people and showing them love care and concern to meet a need. Some people only open their Bibles in church. There is a fundamental problem with that. One, how can you test what you are being taught if you don't know what Christ said for yourself. Two, what if your church leader has personal bias on a particular subject. Or maybe their interpretation is off. God told us to search the scriptures for ourselves. (1 John 4:1 or 2 Timothy 2:15)

Oh, I could go on and on about what does and doesn't go on in the church. The church has been relegated to a place of minimal importance in our society. Pastors are exposed for lewd and evil deeds daily. The church isn't dealing with real issues and in many cases has become tolerant and blase about serious moral issues. More and more, the church resembles the world at large. What a sad commentary!

I leave you with this thought. Ezekiel 18:24(CEV) states, "But when good people start sinning and doing disgusting things, will they live? No! All their good deeds will be forgotten, and they will be put to death because of their sins." This passage was quoted by my brother last week in response to the Eddie Long scandal. I loved it! While it certainly applies to any leader, it also applies to us as Christians. We can be doing a ton of good for God but what people remember is the bad stuff. I know the Bible tells us that "only what you do for Christ will last." Another instance of church view versus world view. People remember the bad stuff, Christ only remembers what we do for Him.

Wouldn't it be something if Christ still smote people? Nothing like an Ananias and Sapphira experience(read it for yourself in Acts 5) to straighten up the on-lookers or other members of the church. If you are a Christian do your friends know it? Can they tell by your lifestyle? Take some time to get your testimony/legacy in order. The church suffers when our walk is suspect. Lord knows we don't need that in light of priests molesting boys, gay marriage and no prayer in schools. Enough really is enough! What do you think? Is the church effective? Would Christ be pleased? Please share! Till next time, be a blessing!

Copyright September 30, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Scapegoats

2010-09-17T21:12:00.000-04:00

I am so freaking irritated! Since when did it become acceptable to blame innocent victims for anything? And why is it when anyone does this, they blame an African American person? What makes them randomly blame us? Is it their upbringing? Are they just racist bastards with a hatred for blacks? Honestly I can't answer the question. I just know what I know. A-I am African American. B-it is just certain things we as a culture tend not to do. C-we exhibit enough detrimental behavior which will be disproportionately reported in the news. Like most black people I know, there are times I hear the upcoming news and I think, "Please, Lord, don't let it be a black person" who did something ridiculously crazy. The thought arises out of our desire to negate the negative thoughts attributed to our race by biased news or other individual's limited or non-exposure to people of color. For years, we have been portrayed as moraless individuals in lierature, television, and the media. Those stereotypes breed fear and instill unconcious bias against te race as a whole. Yes we are a diverse country, but no we are not a color-blind one. America still has a long way to go as far as race goes.

So what has me putting this out here? It is the fact that sometimes I listen to a story on the news and I think something is wrong with that story. It was the thought I had when I hear Bethany Storro's claim that "an African American woman with a ponytail attacked her by throwing acid in her face." I was thinking that that is something we wouldn't do. How many of you know that the African American population in Vancouver is less than five percent? That makes the story questionable. Almost three weeks later and after a significant outpouring of concern and valuable resources have been wasted, she finally admits that the claim was a hoax. First of all, she is one sick puppy. Who inflicts that kind of pain and damage to get some darn attention? Hell, prostitution would've given her attention. If you saw her interview, you know God should come down and strike her A$$. During her made up story, she claimed that she had bought sunglasses, something she never does, and by golly, it was God because she had the glasses on thus receieved less damage from the acid. Go figure! Then there is Susan Smith and Ashley Todd who also blamed African Americans for actions they inflicted. I am not giving them any more press, just using them as example to make my point.

We need to demand that it become more difficult to blame African Americans. There has to be a strong punishment for the person beause it is not okay to assault any specific group of people. We have to also wonder why it is so easy for society to believe the worst of us and that we would commit such heinous crimes. It is easy because the idea of all being created equal has not been totally realized despite how far we've come. America is really afraid to deal with the deep effects of years and years of acceptable and tolerated racist behavior and that is a disservice to future generations. For those of you who think that Barack Obama in the White House is an accomplishment and that we have arrived....It is huge step and it was a long time coming, but it in no way eradicates the indoctrinated racial attitudes which continue to plague our nation. How do you think people like Bethany Storro should be punished?How do we overcome the racial stereotypes? I don't have the answers but you know I always have an opinion. Till next time, I would love to see your comments on this subject. Have a wonderful weekend! Autumn begins in a few days.

Copyright September 17, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Got Jesus? Don't Worry!

2010-09-15T18:41:00.000-04:00

We are all stressed or worried about something. It can be the future, the children, our relationships, or money, not to mention any number of things. So how do you deal with your stress. Does it keep you up at night? Do you have ulcers? Is your blood pressure off the chart? Did you know that worry is something that God doesn't want us to do. To validate my assertion, read Matthew 6: 25-34. Verse 26 says, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Note the point, worry adds nothing to your life.

I am a pretty carefree individual. I do ponder the issues of my life quite a bit. I don't allow them to have me walking around sullen, nor do I lose any sleep over them. Oh I don't have any health issues either. I think that irritates my hubby because he is always stressed. It isn't that I don't care, it is just that when things are out of your control, you are wasting valuable time and energy consuming yourself with whatever the problem is. I have a lot of faith that God really knows and understands our circumstances and He will come through in the right time. Sometimes, I believe He takes His time to test our faith. He wants to make sure that we don't let our flesh take over and make us think we handled the issue on our own.

When I was planning my wedding I developed ulcers. I know whole-heartedly that it was because I was stressing about the details of the wedding. I was in serious pain and then I had to take medication. I vowed then that I would never let worry or stress consume me to that point. Life is too short to spend it on trivial things. On our worse day, we are doing better than so many other individuals. I think we take that fact for granted. We live in a material world and honestly we are sheltered from the atrocities of most of the world so we can get bamboozled into believing our problems really are important and we will end up in a catastrophic situation. Part of the reason for that is that we fail to seek Christ and ask Him to meet our daily needs. We might not take a vacation, our spouse may leave, we may have a creditor or two calling our house but we eat daily, we have more than two weeks worth of clothes, cars to drive, and health(or the ability to receive health care).

Next time any of those are your concerns, think about the homeless mother with several children. Think about the family where 10 people are living in a 2 bedroom apartment. Imagine if you only had one pair of shoes, and two outfits. We have choices and opportunity. We have to make the best of them in good times and bad. We can only do what we can do. You can't squeeze blood out of a turnip. I hope the message you are getting is this; Don't worry, be happy! Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." It doesn't get any simpler than that that, especially if you have a small amount of faith! Till next time meditate n being to blessed to be stressed! Peace!

Copyright September 15, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Is Your Past Holding You Back?

2010-09-14T14:17:00.005-04:00

A lot of conversations that I have had lately have centered on past relationships and past actions and how those things affect our life choices today. Many of us are haunted by demons of the past and we don't even recognize it. We don't recognize it because we have suppressed things to better cope with or to prevent hurting some one's feelings. What we fail to realize is that eventually suppressing things will hurt us and perhaps even those we love.

I don't have any cut and dry solutions to the problem of one releasing their past hurts and pains. I just realize that we all have some junk in our trunk that affects us daily. I am immensely aware that we need to let those things go to get to the blessing God has prepared for us. In order to get through or past these things, we may need to have some tough conversations or take a hard look at ourselves in the mirror. I think every person can use a little therapy in their life. I'm just saying....we all have some stuff. Because we are all works in progress, it is pointless to play the blame game. Our parents probably did the best they could to protect and teach us so we could become productive adults.

It is easy for me to say don't let your past hold you back but it isn't necessarily easy for everyone to do. Some of us have trust issues and don't want to discuss our business with another party. African Americans usually seem reluctant to seek help. They often keep things in and I won't even get into some of the family secrets that never really get dealt with. I know some of you won't believe me but there is always a place to go to release your baggage. God is always there to hear your cries. His Word has been given to us to deal with all of life's issues. Did you hear me? ALL OF LIFE'S ISSUES are dealt with in the HOLY BIBLE.

There are a million self-help books out there and trust me, one of them will say exactly what you want to hear. Is that really going to be helpful for you? I don't think so. Really, this blog is to encourage you to seek help from somewhere. Some of us aren't walking into our God-given destiny because we have not dealt with our past demons. We might be good but we aren't great. Good is the enemy of great! Why settle?!? Get yourself some help-paid, free, professional, or turn to God's map for our lives The Bible. You can get it in a vast multitude of translations meaning no thees and thous. LOL! Seriously though, deal with whatever is haunting you. It will free you and those around you. In Christ, there is liberty. We were meant to be free(ref. Galatians 5:1). Till next time, take the steps necessary to put the past behind and to press forward(ref. Philippians 3:14-15). Be blessed and be a blessing! Peace!

Copyright September 14, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Revisting Why I Write

2010-09-10T14:38:00.000-04:00

It has been a little over a year since I started this blog. So I think it is a fitting time to reiterate my reasons for doing so and also to reflect on what I have written. As I reviewed my original "Why Write" post, things haven't changed much in my opinion about why I do what I do. I still write for me and I still want to be transparent. I want to grow and I want to inspire you to grow. I want to challenge and be challenged. I want to exercise my God given gifts and talents. I also write to inspire my children to do and undertake whatever their hearts desire. Chante started a blog because she was inspired by me and her Big Sister/Cousin Toot. You never know how you will impact your child. In light of the post written yesterday, be careful to be a positive influence. Your children and someone else's are watching your every move and action!

I am a major procrastinator. It irks the hell out out my handsome husband. It works for me, not against me, in almost every situation. So of course this should have been written on August 26, 2010. That was the anniversary of my first post. Somehow, that day came and went and it never crossed my mind to review the year's worth of blogs. My blogs have run the gamut, topic wise. I have written about issues that are near and dear to me. I have highlighted current events and issues. I have reflected on legendary people. I have commented on history, parenting, and friendship. I have told you my favorite products and given you my pet peeves too. In short, I have a lot to say and I am not through yet. I have grown in my sharing and been honest. Transparency is still difficult, not because I don't want to be honest but because I don't really want to be judged. Who does?

Let this serve as reminder to each of you. I am still and always will be a WORK IN PROGRESS. I am not perfect but I still put my self and my opinions out there. My blogs are not about any of you(SN: neither are my FB statuses) per se. If we have a conversation and the subject matter weighs heavily on my heart, chances are it may become fodder for a blog post. I am never going to put anyone out there. I am going to state my opinion and it may not be politically correct. You can always chose to read any other of the million other blogs out there. Sometimes, though, we need to come out of our little comfort zones and face the truth or be challenged in a different way. Growth is difficult but alas it is necessary. You can always provide me with an alternative view. I am willing to share my blog with a guest post. I am not writing to stroke egos but I would like my posts to be pleasing to God.Now sometimes, even that simply doesn't happen. I am a sinner saved by God's grace and mercy and sometimes flesh takes over. Note that that was a disclaimer. ;)

Finally, I really want to thank my loyal readers, especially those who offer comments both public and personal. The dialogue has been great! I am always left with something to think/pray about but more importantly, I am encouraged by each of your honesty and encouragement. If you told a friend to subscribe or check me out, I am eternally grateful. Strangers will tell you things your friends won't. For those of you who have spoken positively into my life and encourage me to keep writing, I am very appreciative. I am trying to work on God's timeline for a change so my book is still not ready to be birthed. Apparently, God still needs to prepare me in some way. Ruh-oh, it might be scary. I think I can handle it, but you never know.

So welcome to a new year with Miss Read! I will continue to be blunt, honest, and transparent. I will continue to address whatever I deem necessary. I hope you find it a thrill to keep up with me as I work through my issues and maybe yours too! That is why I write-to free my mind and yours and host of other reasons already listed in this and the previous post. Till next time, be a vessel God can use! Ciao!

Copyright September 10, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Is That Really What You Wanna Teach Your Baby???

2010-09-09T14:39:00.000-04:00

Have you ever thought about what type of message that you silently send to your offspring? I mean really thought about it? Some lessons are in your face but others are learned subtly. I have been having this precise discussion for several weeks with various people. I am concerned as well as convicted. Our children learn from everything they see. So parents, and friends, be careful what you model.

Single mothers, don't put your man before your friends. Seriously, sex might be all that and a bag of chips but do you really want your child to feel devalued? Do you want them to accept that you aren't there for them because you are with Mr. Right Now? I don't think so! Countless girls go running into the arms of some young boy who is wrought with testosterone only to end up pregnant. We won't even discuss the girls who end up in the arms of a pimp. Yes, it happens all because a young lady needs to be loved and accepted or needs someone to be there for them. Another scenario, single mom is a booty call for her baby's daddy. He pays no support but creeps in and out of the house whenever he feels like it. It is a well known fact that he has a girlfriend. Eventually your kid sees that you are a doormat for him. Does that lead to respect for mom or women? What if single mom and the girlfriend both end up pregnant at the same time? See where I'm going?

Spouses make concessions all the time for each other and that is a good thing. Problems arise for me when one spouse goes overboard to make concessions for their spouse. SN: not judging, just looking at the message sent to your kids. If the wife always does things to make life convenient for her husband but he never reciprocates, what message is sent to her young children? Example, mommy is at work when the kids get home from school, hubby is home but homework waits for mom who also has to cook dinner. Do we want our children not to think that men don't have to assist mom?

If you are a habitual liar, chances are your kids will be too. Children model the behaviors they are taught. If you are married and cheating on your spouse, do you really think that your teen aged children really believe that you going out with a friend multiple times in a week means that you aren't cheating on their other parent? Wake up, people. If you are racist, your children probably won't embrace diversity either. So many things to point out but these are the ones that come to mind.

Christians, you are also guilty. You teach your children to love God and obey His Word. So how are you when traffic is bad and someone cuts you off? Does road rage rear its ugly head or do you move forward peacefully? Do you return the extra change given to you by the cashier? As Christians, we fail to send the right messages too. Of course, we are all guilty because we are all sinners. Christians are always going to be held to a higher level of accountability.

What I am really trying to say is that so often we do things and we fail to even consider the subtle message that we send our offspring. We operate from our emotions and never realize the impact of our actions. Most of us have good sense. We know the difference between right and wrong. Just remember, that children are sponges, they soak up everything. I mean everything! The good, bad, and not so cute! They are our future and we want them to be the best that they can be. We can only provide them the tools and basis to become adults with integrity who will eventually model successful behavior to the next generation. Actions really do speak louder than words. I tell my children all the time, "I can show you better than I can tell you!" That really holds true in many instances. So let this blog cause you to examine your actions, then be encourage to change them. Baby steps will eventually lead to huge strides. I will praying for you as we make our transition to reflect good behavior, attitudes, and actions. Our children are our future and the sacrifices we make for at least eighteen years are really short when you look at a lifetime. So, what is your legacy? What do you wanna teach your children?

Copyright Sept 9, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Organic Choices

2010-09-06T19:13:00.000-04:00

This is really random....How many of you try to eat organic food products? What is your reasoning behind doing so? Do you really believe that organic products are best? In case you were wondering some foods contain more pesticides than others. Here is a list to help you out. If you are going to purchase any foods, the following list are the items that you should purchase: celery, peaches, strawberries, apples, domestic blueberries, nectarines, sweet bell peppers, spinach, cherries, kale/collard greens, potatoes, and imported grapes. Have you noticed anything about the items? The rule is this, if you are going to purchase organic, it should be the products where you eat the skin. You want to limit the intake of the pesticides you take into your body. It is a temple, you know! Just wanted to help you out and maybe save you some money! Enjoy!

Copyright September 6, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Whose Child Are You?

2010-09-01T10:32:00.000-04:00

We all belong to someone. The blood of our ancestors flows through each of us. Sometimes the legacy is filled with pivotal historic moments and sometimes there is a legacy of pain an hurt. Do you ever look at your children and wonder if the hospital made a mistake and gave you the wrong child to take home, nurture, and bless? When my children act like Satan has possessed them as they often do, I really begin to wonder if I am parenting the right child. Now if you know me and have seen my children, you know that there is ABSOLUTELY no denying that they are mine. They really are miniature versions of my husband and myself.

Chante is on the threshold of becoming a teenager. She is gregarious, funny, clumsy, and moody. I assume she is a typical girl. She is passionate about what she believes in and stubborn as ~~her dad~~, a mule. When she gets something in her head, you can't really change her mind. Sometimes, I love her determination and others, I want to knock her out because she will not bend. I prayed for both children while in the womb and have done so all their lives. Chante accepted Christ when she was a young 4 years old.It thrilled and scared me at the same time. She loves Christ and is confident that she belongs to Him. Like all sinners saved by grace, she has moments where her actions do not reflect her earthly or heavenly parentage. SN: DJ has his moments of satanic behavior as well, unlike Chante however, he doesn't have a defiant posture or stubborn will. This is the reason Chante is often used in my writings. Just needed to clarify that. LOL! When she is acting ugly, I have to say to her, "do you really think this offensive behavior would be pleasing to God?" Oh my! You should see the indignant look she gives me. Like how could I really bring Jesus into this equation? It is hysterically funny to me but to see the light go on in her head is always priceless.

How often are we all like Chante? Every single day. As a child of God, I hate to admit that my actions, words, and thoughts often don't line up with My Father's will for me or my life. I bet God the Father often wonders whose children are we. I mean we have have professed to be His but we treat others poorly and don't often have regard for the feelings of others. We don't always speak the truth in love nor do we forgive transgressions.

Yesterday, I received a profound revelation and a gentle reminder that we are to do everything as pleasing to Christ(ref. I Corinthians 10:31 and II Corinthians 5:9). We are all products of our environment and parentage but those of us who have accepted Christ have new parentage. Of course, that comes with a responsibility. We are to reflect the love of Christ in ALL we do. We are held to a standard of accountability. We need to forgive quickly and encourage others but most importantly we need to share the love of Christ so that others might receive new parenting and be released from the sins and hurts of the past. So whose child are you?

Yes, I am the child of Ernestine and Gerald but more importantly, I am a child of God. Everything I do, say, and think is to be done in the spirit of my heavenly parenting, not my earthly ones. It is a difficult undertaking and like Chante, I am often guilty of acting like God is not my Father. Thank goodness for second chances. God gives us the ability to be forgiven over and over again. I am so glad about that because I fail often. I know you do too. If you aren't a child of God, you should really think about your eternal future. The church is not a social club, it is a hospital for sinners. The gift of eternity is freely given to all who want it. Hell is hot and as we can all attest, the dog days of summer are rather unbearable. Imagine life spent in even worse heat. I'm just saying. Whomever you belong to, you reflect their values. Ultimately the choice is yours. I hope you have a wonderful day. I didn't start the blog to be preachy but I guess this is the message God wanted me to write. So I have to be obedient. After all, I am His child and have been since October, 1985. Ciao!

Copyright September 1, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Glue

2010-08-30T15:55:00.000-04:00

Glue has a couple of definitions. The definition that I am going to utilize for the purpose of this blog is "something that binds things together." Been thinking a lot about that lately. Here is why. Years ago, I had a friend tell me that I was the glue that bound a particular group of friends together. The group consisted mainly of college buddies who each have distinctive personalities. Well honestly, I resented the observation and thought it was far from the truth. Then my life underwent a series of unplanned events and my family moved away. Long story short, she was right.

I have reflected often on that observation. I wondered what it meant for them and how it boded for me. I have continued to undergo quite a bit of change and as time would have it, our family is much closer to those same people once again and I guess everyone thought I should fall back into my role of making things happen. Well, hello! I ain't the same person and I didn't exactly pick right up where I left off. First off, I am kinda disappointed with the group. They made half hearted effort to maintain a level of closeness. No more cookouts, get togethers or things of that nature. I was in Albany, GA and could see the changes quite clearly.
Second, my season has changed. Yes, I am a "relationship person" but even we need to be poured into sometimes. You don't know how draining being the glue is till you get to step out of that role for a while. It doesn't mean you don't desire that closeness, but you simply don't have the fortitude to maintain it or put it in place.

So why a blog about it? Well, partly because of a conversation where one of the individuals questioned my lack off enthusiasm for the aforementioned group of people. She thought I was distant and negative. What I really was was matter of fact. Number one, friendships(and really all relationships) require action from all involved parties. If it is valuable to you, you pursue it. God pursues us. Men are supposed to pursue women. It is just the nature of things. If those "friendships" were meant to survive, they should've done so in my absence. Phone calls work both ways. In this day of overwhelming technology, you can take the trifling way out and use Facebook or Twitter, you can send a text via cell phone or an e-mail. There is no reasonable excuse about why you can't connect with someone on a real or superficial level. Two, just because hospitality is your gift, doesn't mean you always want to entertain and host. Every once and awhile, you want to be an invited guest. No worry of cleaning your house and having the essential(and non essential but often forgotten) items on hand. Finally, there just might be more pressing issues in your life and you just can't be all things to all people. perhaps, you have changed or your circumstances have changed. Or maybe you are just too exhausted to pull things together for other people. It is a daunting task and yep it is exhausting.

So who are you in your relationships? Are you the glue that binds things or are you one who needs to be drawn in? In any relationship, roles should change constantly. You need balance because relationships need give and take as we go through the ebb and flow of life. I am a people person and I used to be the glue. I think God definetely moved me out of that position for various reasons. I am still a people person but I realize that I sometimes need to be drawn in and held accountable too. I love to entertain but this year we have consciously done very little of it. I miss the fellowship it offered but I see that no one else is filling that void either. Now I am not saying that conversations about getting together aren't being had, they are. I have been involved in some of them. No one has stepped up to the plate. I see a pattern-the conversations happen but not action is taken. So it sounds good, but no can do. I often feel bad but not motivated to set up something concrete. So tell me what you think. Am I wrong for that? I don't know. I can tell you that I feel quite liberated not to be the one trying to hold things together. It is just where I am right now in my life...and I feel good about it. Till next time, pray hard and be a blessing! Peace!

Copyright August 30, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Diva Dialogue IX

2010-08-26T11:55:00.006-04:00

I told you that I had a lot of things on my mind so here I go with my random thoughts for the past few weeks. There is no rhyme or reason just my thoughts on a wide range of subjects. Feel free to share your thoughts. I love to see/hear what other people think about a situation. My perception is my reality just as your perception is your reality.

First up is Home wreckers. Wow there are so many folks I could focus on. Let's start with Tiger. He and Elin have finalized their divorce. She should be a happy but well paid woman and he should be well on his way to getting his golf game back on track. Who will suffer? The babies! Of course there will be plenty of money for therapy. You can catch her one and only interview in the current issue of People magazine. Now I am leaving that topic completely alone. Alicia Keys. I love her music and philanthropic spirit but let's face it, she destroyed a home. She was well acquainted with SwizzBeatz and his family. After all they worked together for years. She's a powerful woman who could probably have any man that she wanted. She chose to deal with a man who was married with a family. Dead Wrong! According to the Tom Joyner Morning Show, women got up and left during her performance at the Essence Music Festival. Their position was that allowing her to perform went against the spirit of the festival which is to empower and uplift women. Do you agree or disagree? Fantasia. Where do I begin? I like Fantasia. She is in need of love but she is looking in all the wrong places. Fantasia needs several things. The first is a good therapist to help her love herself. She needs to swear off relationships for a while until she heals internally. Second, she needs a neutral person who is full of wisdom who can help her get on the right track in terms of money and family. Keisha Cole did it and Fantasia needs to do it. She needs to separate her family from her professional life and stop letting them leech off of her. Third, she needs to stand strong in her religious foundation. God did not allow her success with her suicide attempt because He has bigger and better plans for her life. Also, she has a daughter to live for and really this would not be the legacy you want to leave your child. I am rooting for Fantasia. I like her. She has talent, loved her in the Color Purple! We love comeback stories!

Next up is people killing their loved ones. I know it happens daily but it really drives me nuts and hurts my heart. I don't even know where to begin on this topic. I don't want anybody to love me so much that they have to kill me. Where is the love in that? In Cleveland, two professional women were killed by their husbands recently. Very sad. In one case, the husband was known to be abusive and the woman, a social worker, thought she could change the bad boy. Ladies, you can't change your man! If he's a dog when you meet him, he will still be a dog years later. Leopards don't change their spots. Then there is the woman who drowned her children in the car in South Carolina. She felt overwhelmed and not able to take care of them. Seriously? Was death really a better option for the kids or for her? I don't know much about mental illness but I know it is real. Maybe that is the problem. Maybe, we really just don't value life anymore. Not the lives of others or our own. God must be really heartbroken over that.

Was Michelle Obama wrong to take the trip to Spain? I don't think so. First and foremost, the Obamas were wealthy before they entered the White House. Second, don't we all travel where we want and spend our money in whatever way we want? Do we consider the economic state of others when we plan our vacations? No we don't. We do what is best for our own family and whatever we can afford. I don't envy Michelle Obama or her family. The scrutiny of everything would make me tell America to.....well, no I wouldn't stoop to that level but boy would I want to.

Who is watching the Real Housewives of DC? I am sick of those shows. Is the cast really reflective of DC? I would think that that cast could have definitely been more diverse. I am not watching. Of course I am not really a fan of any of them. I tuned into RHOA and I still wonder why? What is the pull for these shows? Are we really okay with television capitalizing off of women drama. Where is the positivity? I hate that we have become so obsessed with other peoples drama. What does that say about us? Do we need to watch the train wreck lives of others to feel better about our own messy lives? Just wondering?

Essence Magazine was recently under fire. The magazine that inspires and empowers African American women hired a Caucasian Fashion Director, Ellianna Placas. According to editor-in-chief Angela Bart Murray, she chose her "because of her creativity, vision, the positive reader response to her work and her enthusiasm and respect for the audience and our brand. We remain committed to celebrating the unique beauty and style of African-American women in Essence magazine and online at Essence.com." So folks what do you think? Can Placas accurately define and dictate the unique style of African American women? I guess only time will tell. I can tell you that Vogue and ELLE certainly don't celebrate our uniqueness. Let's face it, people of color definitely have a style all their own.

Do you think Wyclef Jean would make a viable candidate for Haiti? I will always see him as a pop singer. I loved the Fugees (Fugees - Greatest Hits). He is outspoken and passionate about his beloved country but is he really capable of running a country who has been consistently been hit with tragedy and natural disaster? I am not sure he;s the best candidate but at this point, his chances have been knocked down by the courts who are questioning his residency since he is away from Haiti so often for business.

Speaking of tragedy and natural disaster, it has been five years since Hurricane Katrina. This weekend we are going to see a lot of coverage on where they are in terms of rebuilding. Spike Lee just debuted an HBO documentary on the subject. I haven't seen it but I understand that he did a better job with the documentary on the same subject a year after it happened than the current one. Honestly, I know that it will take a long time to really rebuild the area. It is not a place I'd ever want to live, visit maybe but live never. The BP oil spill definitely did not help. The people of New Orleans seem to be resilient. They are proud and strong. Hopefully, time will heal all wounds. In addition to rebuilding, there is much to do about education and economic development.

Okay so this is kinda long. This is my forum and I don't want to bore you. I am going to end here though. Happy Birthday, Diva Dorna! I hope you have a wonderful birthday celebration! I love you my Favorite sista-friend. Thanks for being there for me through whatever!

Satan is so busy folks. I hope when you think of me that you will lift me in prayer. Life keeps trying to give me lemons...I am a survivor so I am making lemonade, lemon bars, and lemon cake. Seriously though, Satan is a lair and he has come to steal kill and destroy. Let us all purpose in our hearts not to allow him to be successful. God is Our Victory and we need to stand through His power. Till next time, I wish you peace.

Copyright August 26, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Faith-Do You Have It?

2010-08-23T16:46:00.000-04:00

Has anyone ever wondered why some people have faith and others don't? I wonder it all the time. I grew up in the church and I have a strong faith based foundation. God really has never failed me so I put my trust in Him. Please don't think I am perfect and that my faith doesn't waiver...it does from time to time. Honestly , my experience is that the promises of God are true.

When trouble comes and finds me, as it usually does, I meditate on it for a while and then I let God do what He does. I have my own preconceived notions about how I'd like Him to move in situations and He never quite does it in the manner I expect. He does, however, always work in His time and His way. There is an old hymn that goes, "on Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand." I sing that verse to myself often because you really can't count on your spouse, your friends, or family 100% of the time but you can trust God to do and be all that He promises to be. It took me becoming an adult to appreciate the truth and wisdom of that hymn.

I am currently out of fellowship and I feel more and more guilty about it on a daily basis. Being out of fellowship is one thing but being out of relationship is another. Despite not having a church to call home, I still pray and read my Bible and do devotions regularly. I love the Lord and I trust His plan for my life. He has blown my mind in countless ways as I go through this life's journey. God will find a way to humble you and let you know that He is in control and you are just a vessel that He placed here to do His will. I know that some problems have worked out not because of my fleshly efforts but because I put my trust in Him to work things out. So most nights, I sleep peacefully and without anxiety or fear. I know He's in control, not me. We should all be thankful for that.

I encourage you to step out of your box and trust God with all of your stuff for just one day and see what happens. It is so wonderful not to feel burden by life's problems. Once you try one day, try another. If you stumble and become self reliant, God offers second and third( and infinite) chances. We are all works in progress. All it takes is the faith of a mustard seed. FYI-mustard seeds are really tiny. Should you need an account of how faithful God really is, read Hebrews 11. (Check out www.biblegateway.com). Till next time, I will be praying for you to increase your faith an I hope you will do the same for me! Ciao!

Copyright August 23, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Sorry I've Been Outta Touch

2010-08-21T15:35:00.006-04:00

Hey folks! It is really hard to keep up with stuff when you are having a great summer. We just spent a wonderful ten day in Cleveland, OH. For those of you who don't know, Cleveland is home for me. I lived there until I moved to Baltimore, MD at the age of 22. It was a really fun trip. We got to see everyone and spend quality time with them. What a blessing! I make note of this because a lot of times we are only there for 3 or 4 days and it goes quick and we can't fit everyone in.

The weather was warm for Cleveland but felt like home to us. Unfortunately, my mom does not have AC and my kids thought they might die the first couple of days. Honestly, it was hot and I don't know how we made it without air but we did. Yep, it is official, we are spoiled.

We ate good and hung out with family and friends practically everyday. I grew up living next door to my grandparents so I think my children are missing out by being so far away from their relatives. It was nice to see them interact with their grandma and great-grandma. The memories of that time spent will hopefully be forever etched in their minds.

Thar said, I have a lot on my mind but I am sorta outta sorts. But needless to say, I AM BACK! I have a lot to share, vent, and discuss in general. So my posts will be back to normal. I have missed you and been thinking about all I have to share. For now, please accept my belated apology. Happy Birthday to my God-child, Kayla Renee Banks! Have a lovely weekend! Be safe!

A Little Greeting

2010-07-30T08:43:00.001-04:00

I have not been feeling like myself for a week now. I am not sure what the problem is but I have bonded way too much with my bathroom. I am assuming it is the fallout from a well needed vacation to Mexico. I am worried about being dehydrated and my appetite is way down. My head ached for almost a week. UGH!

In addition to that, I feel discombobulated and out of sorts. Having issues getting into my regular routine and motivated in general. I am not the only one. I have several friends in the same boat. What a strange summer! Anyhoo, this weekend, we are off to Philly to see some very close friends and spend a day at Hershey Park. Can you say chocolate? YUM! Despite my issues, there has to be a cheeseteak and hoagie with my name on them. What else is a girl to do since Chelsea failed to send me an invite to her highly publicized but trying to be kept on the down low nuptials.

Several quick random thoughts.......I loved my Pres on The View yesterday. He still is cool and has a swagger that is all his own. Babs made a return visit for the event despite recovering from heart surgery. Did you see him? What did you think? Credit Card reform all begins in August. Have you read enough to see if things really work in your favor as a consumer? Make sure you do! Today is National Cheesecake Day. YUM! Go to Cheesecake Factory and get those half-priced slices of your favorite flavor. Wow! Ellen DeGeneres is leaving American Idol after only one season. She would like to encourage the contestants a little more. Hmm, even they want more drama. Two shows that are excellent but probably little known(or watched) are Unsung and Life After. The are really good and quite informative. Oh, and finally, after reading the entire Harry Potter Paperback Box Set (Books 1-7), we bought LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4 for DJ and we are all addicted to figuring out the game. Ahh the joy of summer!

I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you. I hope God has been smiling richly upon you this summer. My friends in the south will be returning to school in the next week or so. Don't miss that. All children should return to school the last week of August. Just my opinion. I also hope that you have caught up with and enjoyed family and friends. I hope you made one positive change in your life or your community too. Till next time, be safe and be a blessing. Stay hydrated! Ciao!

Copyright July 30, 2010 by Pamela Cole Thorpe