Monday, September 14, 2015

Guest Spot: Reflections of the Confederate Flag

So I haven't posted any Guest Blogs in a long time. One of my sisters from another mother poignantly expressed my thoughts on a topic that was recently in the news. Agree or disagree? Let me know what you think. Here are her words:

As the great debate rages about the Confederate Flag, a friend of mine who happens to be Caucasian (and a unapologetic Southern Girl), asked me if the Confederate Flag “offends me or causes sadness/anger?” I applaud my friend for asking me the question because this issue is so divisive; causing visceral and heated emotions on many levels for many people.  In today’s heated words, she gets points for stepping into what could potentially be an ugly conversation in her desire to see more than her view.  I am also gratified to know, I am seen as an open and rational person! J So, I mulled the question over because I had to examine if my thoughts surrounding the Rebel Flag were my own or a knee-jerk reaction. Was I offended only because I’m African-American? What did the controversial symbol truly represent for me?

The Rebel Flag offends me in much the same way the Nazi Flag & Swastika emblem does.  The Nazi regime was all about Aryan pride which was advanced on the premise of prejudice, evil and cruelty of an “inferior” race.  A theory promoting it was okay to treat a race of people as less than human and subject them to horrific atrocities.  In the same vein, the Rebel flag may for some be a representation of Southern pride…it was born of a conflict much like the Nazis.  Southerners did not want to abolish a way of life; a slave system that subjected a race of “inferior” people to inhumane, a lot of times cruel and unspeakable treatment. 
The Confederate Flag saddens me because when I see it, I realize we have not come as far as I would like in terms of race relations and classism.  I see it as another means of creating hostility and bigotry.  It says to me…there are people who still feel superior and frankly are just not nice.

With that said, I know not all Southerners who fly the Rebel Flag are bigots or mean people. But I do think it shows a certain lack of empathy or naiveté.  Yeah…you’re southern but why would you want to be represented by a symbol that reminds people of a system where human beings/ancestors where oppressed and treated like animals because they were of a different hue; bought and sold like cattle?  Why are you so proud of a culture and people who so fervently believed their right to oppress and hold people in bondage for their own comfort and wealth to the point of going to WAR about it? 

It is touted the Civil War was about State Rights…which is  true, the States’ right to keep slaves!!  That’s what the Rebel Flag symbolizes…oppression, inhumane treatment, greed, and bigotry with a blatant disregard for a race of people because of their skin color!  The Civil War, or Northern Act of Aggression depending on where you live, was fought 150 years ago. . . and still the war rages on about a symbol that should be relegated to a museum for its historical significance only!! 

In answer to my friend's question . . . Yes, the Confederate Flag offends and saddens me!

In Diva love,
Pamela 

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

A Part of My Heart Stayed Behind

This past weekend, I embarked on a journey that would seem to be fraught with emotion. The thing is, it wasn't. I felt a wide range of emotions, but mostly a profound sense of nostalgia. I packed up my vehicle for a 7-8 hour trip to take one of my most precious possessions, my firstborn, mini-me, to begin her college career. She aspires to be a female Anthony Bourdain--her words not mine. In actuality, her plans include  becoming a chef, restaurateur, food blogger, and world class traveler who eats and critiques her  way through  as many countries  as she can. 

All I kept thinking is that this newly minted adult would be on her own making life choices and decisions without me  intervening. Don't mis-read this....I  am not a hover mother but I am an involved opinionated parent. In my mind, my daughter would always be the wide-eyed baby that came out of the womb looking around, with a sense of wisdom and wonder. She has transformed into a lovely young lady. She's intelligent, tenacious, and also opinionated. I have prepared her to soar. I have instilled prayer, integrity and high values in her.  Now it's her time. There will be ups and downs, trials and tribulations, triumphs and failures but she knows  that in most cases, there can be do-overs and makeovers, there are plan Bs,Cs,...and Zs. More importantly, she is keenly aware that she has me and a huge support system that will get her through any life issue or crisis. She knows that though she may disappoint at times, she is loved  unconditionally and that our support is unwavering. 

Times have changed since I was a college student  bright with promise. Things are definitely more liberal. Yet I have prayed and cried and cried and prayed over this child. I think she will hold fast to her convictions and will not be easily swayed y her peers. I pray she makes wise choices and does the right thing. These four years are going to really shape the person she will ultimately become. Her choices in life are not a reflection of how well  I did or did  not parent. 

No matter what choices may come and what reservations or fears that I may have, I know without a shadow of a doubt that God has written EVERY one of her days and while I may not  be there, He is ALWAYS there.  It's time for her to completely trust Him to guide her through all of her days and give her wisdom when she faces challenges. It's time for  me to  relinquish the control I had over  His child-ever thankful that He trusted her to me for these past 17 years. It's time for me  to watch my baby really grow and soar to new heights. I am happy and excited, sad, and waiting in anticipation. While the parting was bittersweet, it was necessary. So there were no tears, just huge hugs and joy(and possibly pain) of the days to come as I left a big part of my heart in Providence, RI.



In Diva Love,

Pam