The Silence of a Break-up (Dorna's opinion)

It has been a while since I have posted a guest blog. Dorna had something on her mind that she wanted to share. See, not only am I negligent about my own posting but also those of my friends.  Feel free to comment and let us know if you agree or disagree or simply have another take on the situation.

When you enter into a relationship, you don’t do so with the thought of breaking up.  The beginning is so filled with promise; all singing bluebirds, flowers and starry eyes!!  How can you think of a relationship ending when everyone is on their best behavior…working to impress each other…lustful potential in the air!  Basically, hormones are generally running the show and they have no idea what a breakup means.

So, people sail blissfully down Rio Relationship, hands trailing in the swell of emotion in seemingly calm water.  They begin to share in guarded communication, which becomes more open about seemingly everything!  Trust begins to forge, the giddiness is overwhelming!!  They become convinced that the next step absolutely has to happen…and sex happens!!

Now the act has been committed and you find there are some things that weren’t shared or shown or overlooked.  Like the need for attention and communication for her and the need to be private and taciturn for him.  Both people started out filling these needs because they were in the impression stage, but now the true natures are beginning to emerge.  Shifting on both parts occur, but it gets harder to fulfill or accept the other one’s needs.

Communication becomes more strained and less frequent.  Conjecture and assumptions become the norm and lead to hurt or angry feelings.  Both parties know something is wrong, but won’t admit it and only skirt the issue.  They both keep down a path they know is not good but to truly communicate about it is not going to happen.  The silences become more frequent and longer until one day there is nothing but silence!! 

 “What the hell? Is he really not going to call me?” “It’s been two weeks and I haven’t heard from her…hmmm!”   “Oh, I wish I would call his ass, I haven’t done anything to him!!”  “She must be really pissed…she’ll get over it.”  These dialogues continue until months have passed and still…silence!! The silence doesn’t give closure or answers…it just is!! The breakup has come and no one knew it would look so abrupt…so confusing…so LOUDLY QUIET!!  And one question screaming in the silence…What happened?

Copyright July 13, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Bon Voyage!!!

Today, my vacation officially began at 5:07 P.M. Yea me! And yes, I am doing a happy dance. I am so in need of the time AWAY from my place of employment. I also need the time to connect with my family. Did I say how excited I was to be off work? On a side note, upon my return from this wonderful vacation, I am purposing to seek new employment and to get serious about my weight loss.

I know I have been real selfish with my blogging of late. I forgot how hard it is to cram so much into an already jammed day. Work gets in the way of fun! LOL! Can you tell that I was meant to be independently wealthy? Ahh but I digress! I don't have writer's block. I am irritable so I know I need to be blogging and working my issues out on you. I really do always have a lot of things on my mind. So hopefully, I will be a better steward of my time and get back on my grind. For now, I am off to see the wizard. Just kidding! I am off to bond with my family and we are going to enjoy Charleston, SC, Port Canaveral, FL, and Savannah, GA. We will be cruising to Nassau, Bahamas, St. Thomas(my absolute favorite place), and St. Marteen. If you really know me, please remember to wish DJ a "Happy Birthday!!" tomorrow! He will become a double digit midget. Can't believe he will be 10 already! Of course I will give you all a full report upon my return. I will also post a blog on why people have become so mean and whatever else I deem necessary to discuss.

So good bye for now. I will be back soon. I will miss you all. Be safe! Be blessed and most of all be a blessing!!!

Copyright July 13, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe

Diva Dialogue-July, 2011th

Okay, my life has changed and my time is so limited that I haven't been doing the things that I love. I have neglected my blog and perhaps that is why I have been soooo emotional lately. I have been a little irritable too. I am going to blame that on the sleep apnea that I was surprised to find out that I had. I will explain sleep apnea in another post. I try to continuously remind you all that this blog is my therapy and I work my issues out on you, my loyal readers. That being said, I am just going to be random. It is also cathartic.

Right now, I am counting down the days till vacation! Yea me! Yea us, my happy little family! We are escaping the overly busy home front and going to chillax in the tropical Caribbean seas. I can't wait. I have been working full time and apparently it no longer suits me. It may not be the case but I probably need to be doing something more fulfilling. By the way it is 13 days till departure. I will tell you all about the cruise upon my return. Last year, I kept hearing and reading about staycations. Let me just say that that would not be a good option for my family. We need to get away to connect and regroup. We return refreshed with a  new attitude and a freshness to tackle life.

I can't believe that my daughter will enter high school in the Fall. Time flies. After all the school drama, she completed the 8th grade with excellent grades. Let's note that I didn't see any more effort on her part this semester, so I know I am right in saying that she should have been making the Honor Roll every single semester. My son will complete his final year of elementary school. He too completed the year with flying colors. Now it is time to impress upon the girl child the importance of her grades and extra-curricular activities. Gotta get into college and hopefully secure some scholarship money.

If you have an Ipod/Ipad/Iphone, you should be playing Angry Birds and Angry Birds Rio. Both games are highly addictive. The game is senseless, in that you are aiming a bird of some type at other animals. There is a little background story which I won't explain but trust me, you will keep trying it once you start. The other highly addictive game that  play is Words With Friends(WWFs). If you know me well, you know I love Scrabble. WWFs is a version of that. I love words and word puzzles. So I am suggesting that you check them out. I know, this is real random, huh?

The arrival of summer means we get blitzed with movies. This year there are several that I am excited to see. I can't wait to see the The Help. It was listed as one of my favorite books in a much earlier post. If you haven't read it yet, do so before you see the movie. Another film which should end up being a major blockbuster is the final installment of Harry Potter. Remember that I read the entire series with my daughter. We are bummed that we will have to wait till after our cruise to see it but we know it will be excellent. Transformers is out this weekend and my son is a serious fan. Special effects should be great.

For those of you who tend to neglect your health, let me encourage you to go see a physician and have a thorough physical. The life you save could be your own. Seriously! I have had a physical and all of my annual test this past month. I have a mammogram on Wednesday. Once a year check-ups can reveal things in your health that can be best solved if tackled early. I know it sounds kinda preachy but I know what I am talking about. My dad is deceased. He could be a walking poster board for why we should get ourselves checked regularly. He died of prostrate cancer. If detected early, it is one of the most treatable cancers. So I am imploring you to make an appointment today and keep it! Oh and I am totally healthy so this is not a health scare talking. I just think that we can't be anything to others without being good to ourselves.

Can you believe that 2011 is half over? I certainly can't. My grandmother told me that life seems to move more quickly when you have children. I guess she is correct. So at this juncture, what is it that you wanted to do this year that you haven't done? Who have you wanted to bless that you haven't blessed? What are you holding on to that you need to get rid of? Who haven't you forgiven? Just a little food for thought. Have a safe and blessed 4th of July. Aren't you glad we live in the land of the free and the home of the brave? Enjoy those cook-outs and be safe! Till next time....Ciao!!

Copyright on July 1, 2011 by Pamela Cole Thorpe